My story of having severe Social Anxiety and drinking every day at work...please help

[Sonny926]

I am 21 years old and since I was around 15 - 16 I have had really bad social anxiety issues, i.e talking to people, speaking in groups, making eye contact with people, even walking past people in the street, (esp. girls and people my age). In almost all social cases I feel such overwhelming anxiety that I can't even speak properly I go red in the face and feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown in these situations.

I dropped out of college when I was 18 because I just couldn't face doing stand up presentations in front of the class, I almost broke down in the 1st (and only) presentation I gave, and left a day before I had to do a 2nd presentation.

Since then I have worked in Telesales jobs which I got because of the fact that I don't have to speak to customers face to face, but having to work among so many other colleagues in all of my jobs have always made been so stressful for me making me unable to make proper sales calls because I know they are listening which makes me so anxious.

This leads me to my next point: I feel almost completely free from my anxiety whilst under the influence of alcohol. I sometimes think that this is how other people must feel when they are normal. I have drunk before all my interviews and got the job.

In My most recent position I drunk every single morning before going in to work, I drunk a small bottle of Vodka mixed with a cheap fruit drink, (I hate spirits but for some reason I was then under the impression that vodka smelt less than any other alcohol) I drunk this in a Starbucks toilet close to my work. It was like a ritual to me and I absolutely hated it, I used to look in the mirror in the toilet every day drinking my disgusting Vodka at 8:30am and think "What the F*** have I become that I have to do this to feel normal for a few hours??" But I had to do it because I know what it feels like when I have not drunk walking into work - I can't describe it in words but the anxiety is so intense worrying if someone is going to come and talk to me and looking like an idiot that, and I can't make proper sales calls I.e: can't do my job. The anxiety literally feels like I'm constantly in a life or death situation, seriously.

But it doesn't end there, after 2 -3 hours the alcohol wears off and I can feel the anxiety coming back and lose the confidence to make calls and talk to people so the minute Lunchtime comes I go straight to the pub and drink 3 pints of Stella (5% beer) throughout the lunchtime period (no food because it makes the alcohol last less for the longer in the afternoon) and then in the afternoon the alcohol wears off around 3:00pm - 3:30pm. In this particular job I could sometimes sneak out and get 2 large cans of beer from the local store and quickly drink them in the starbucks toilet near my work and come back, something which I did everyday for the last few months I was at the job and I know I started getting noticed doing it.


But needless to say doing this every day for over a year REALLY wore me down and I hadn't mentioned that when I went out in my free time I had to drink before leaving the house and always end up doing drugs like ******* and ecstasy at the height of my binges, just more escapes from reality really. My kidneys used to constantly ache and I felt absolutely terrible and started getting the shakes and needing a drink when I woke up just for the journey alone to get me to the starbucks toilets to have my Pre-Work Vodka. My life had become revolved around privately drinking in toilets with a suit on, like a complete slave to alcohol and my Social Anxiety

Eventually I got fired from this last job because of my constantly stinking of alcohol and coming in late from being so worn out, (They only let me keep my job for so long because I was always hitting my target for sales but fired me when I stopped performing so well towards the end).


And here I am, I have been off work since January and have stopped drinking by seeing a alcohol therapist and mainly because I no longer have to face social situations like working and going out. But as for my social anxiety which is the real issue, I have been on a waiting list since January to see a therapist because being in the UK and using the crappy NHS, I haven't made any progress at all.

The big problem is that I have to get a job now because I am living with my parents who don't have much money and debt collectors are threatening to come at me left right and centre for my credit cards and loan repayments which I haven't been able to pay since January due to not working, but I am still waiting for treatment for my condition, which if anything has worsened.

My dielema is whether to start drinking again and go back to work (The anxiety is really that severe that I would have a nervous breakdown in an interview without drinking). Or to wait for my treatment (which I have already been waiting for 6 -7 months for and still no indication as to when a therapist will be available despite numerous enquireys) and ruin my parents life by having debt collectors storm their house, which I would inevitably get kicked out for.


By the way: I do realise that this is primarily a Bodybuilding Forum, but I have seen some very insightful posts and responses here in the misc section in the past so this is why I decided to post here.

I look forward to hearing any responses. Thank you for reading.

[AnnaMatronic]

Tldr

[killermike]

cliffs?

[janky]

too long to read. cliffs?

Stop drinking.
Get medical help for your assburgers.
Take ***** or coke, whichever.
Go to clubs and start hitting on bottom of the barrel bitches.
dont fck them you'll get stds.
once you get used to hitting on 3s.. hit on 5s.
dont fck them, they're psycho and heavily dependant.
once you get used to hitting on 5s hit on 7s.
you can fck them, but punch them after and run away.

sooner or later guys will admire your swagger and you'll have vag.
and *****.
then you'll feel better.

[jaxalex]

Too long to read. I'd go with interior semi-gloss latex. It holds up to the humidity better, imo.

[Pain Inflicter]

Go to the doctor and get some anti depressants. But dont abuse them like you do alcohol.

[janky]

wait, just read all that.. you already tried the coke. lol

dude you have alcoholism/assburgers.
im not a fckin dr or anything but webmd could tell you all this is cure-able.

and as for losing your job, just get on unemployment, or the UK version of it, so you have money coming in.

[StUck686]

get a ***** prescription. not alcohol

[mlss03]

Ya dude sounds pretty severe.. if u cant handle it urself which it looks like u cant, go see doc get sum pills then proceed with life get job go school find girl.. cant live ur life the wway ur are now man go get sum help..

[Forge3]

What can we say that will take the anxiety away?

There are medication and therapy for that. There are some herbs that help ease minor anxiety (Skullcap, Kava Kava etc...) but your anxiety sounds too profound. THe doctor will likely get you on an anti-anxiety med like ******...

[Pain Inflicter]

wait, just read all that.. you already tried the coke. lol

dude you have alcoholism/assburgers.
im not a fckin dr or anything but webmd could tell you all this is cure-able.

and as for losing your job, just get on unemployment, or the UK version of it, so you have money coming in.

wtf is assburgers? lol

[BeachBMW]

Anxiety and Alcohol are synergestic

you're only making things worse

[papi93]

Strong first post.

[AMcHizZl3]

get a ***** prescription. not alcohol

x tree fiddy brah

[TopTraining]

I am 21 years old and since I was around 15 - 16 I have had really bad social anxiety issues, i.e talking to people, speaking in groups, making eye contact with people, even walking past people in the street, (esp. girls and people my age). In almost all social cases I feel such overwhelming anxiety that I can't even speak properly I go red in the face and feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown in these situations.

I dropped out of college when I was 18 because I just couldn't face doing stand up presentations in front of the class, I almost broke down in the 1st (and only) presentation I gave, and left a day before I had to do a 2nd presentation.

Since then I have worked in Telesales jobs which I got because of the fact that I don't have to speak to customers face to face, but having to work among so many other colleagues in all of my jobs have always made been so stressful for me making me unable to make proper sales calls because I know they are listening which makes me so anxious.

This leads me to my next point: I feel almost completely free from my anxiety whilst under the influence of alcohol. I sometimes think that this is how other people must feel when they are normal. I have drunk before all my interviews and got the job.

In My most recent position I drunk every single morning before going in to work, I drunk a small bottle of Vodka mixed with a cheap fruit drink, (I hate spirits but for some reason I was then under the impression that vodka smelt less than any other alcohol) I drunk this in a Starbucks toilet close to my work. It was like a ritual to me and I absolutely hated it, I used to look in the mirror in the toilet every day drinking my disgusting Vodka at 8:30am and think "What the F*** have I become that I have to do this to feel normal for a few hours??" But I had to do it because I know what it feels like when I have not drunk walking into work - I can't describe it in words but the anxiety is so intense worrying if someone is going to come and talk to me and looking like an idiot that, and I can't make proper sales calls I.e: can't do my job. The anxiety literally feels like I'm constantly in a life or death situation, seriously.

But it doesn't end there, after 2 -3 hours the alcohol wears off and I can feel the anxiety coming back and lose the confidence to make calls and talk to people so the minute Lunchtime comes I go straight to the pub and drink 3 pints of Stella (5% beer) throughout the lunchtime period (no food because it makes the alcohol last less for the longer in the afternoon) and then in the afternoon the alcohol wears off around 3:00pm - 3:30pm. In this particular job I could sometimes sneak out and get 2 large cans of beer from the local store and quickly drink them in the starbucks toilet near my work and come back, something which I did everyday for the last few months I was at the job and I know I started getting noticed doing it.


But needless to say doing this every day for over a year REALLY wore me down and I hadn't mentioned that when I went out in my free time I had to drink before leaving the house and always end up doing drugs like ******* and ecstasy at the height of my binges, just more escapes from reality really. My kidneys used to constantly ache and I felt absolutely terrible and started getting the shakes and needing a drink when I woke up just for the journey alone to get me to the starbucks toilets to have my Pre-Work Vodka. My life had become revolved around privately drinking in toilets with a suit on, like a complete slave to alcohol and my Social Anxiety

Eventually I got fired from this last job because of my constantly stinking of alcohol and coming in late from being so worn out, (They only let me keep my job for so long because I was always hitting my target for sales but fired me when I stopped performing so well towards the end).


And here I am, I have been off work since January and have stopped drinking by seeing a alcohol therapist and mainly because I no longer have to face social situations like working and going out. But as for my social anxiety which is the real issue, I have been on a waiting list since January to see a therapist because being in the UK and using the crappy NHS, I haven't made any progress at all.

The big problem is that I have to get a job now because I am living with my parents who don't have much money and debt collectors are threatening to come at me left right and centre for my credit cards and loan repayments which I haven't been able to pay since January due to not working, but I am still waiting for treatment for my condition, which if anything has worsened.

My dielema is whether to start drinking again and go back to work (The anxiety is really that severe that I would have a nervous breakdown in an interview without drinking). Or to wait for my treatment (which I have already been waiting for 6 -7 months for and still no indication as to when a therapist will be available despite numerous enquireys) and ruin my parents life by having debt collectors storm their house, which I would inevitably get kicked out for.


By the way: I do realise that this is primarily a Bodybuilding Forum, but I have seen some very insightful posts and responses here in the misc section in the past so this is why I decided to post here.

I look forward to hearing any responses. Thank you for reading.

What are you afraid will happen if you interact with other people?

Ask yourself, why do I care so much what others think?

[StrongFirstPost]

Strong first post.

Hai.

Anyways, just wait for angelina, she'll soon pick you up in her red Dodge Viper SRT-10 and you can use your social anxiety to curve bullets in slow motion.

Sorry, I couldn't resist it, on a serious note I think the only way to get past it is to face your fear. Im in the same boat as you just not as extreme, and I find that practice makes perfect.

Throw yourself in the deep end.

Good luck.

[Sonny926]

What can we say that will take the anxiety away?

There are medication and therapy for that. There are some herbs that help ease minor anxiety (Skullcap, Kava Kava etc...) but your anxiety sounds too profound. THe doctor will likely get you on an anti-anxiety med like ******...

My doctor has actually perscribed me SSRIs and MAOIs like prozac and Amitryptiline but none of these have helped some even make me more irritable and nervous. I have asked her on three seperate occasions if she can prescribe me ****** until I see the therapist but she refused stating that they are not a long term solution and cause physical addiction. But WTF? surely being addicted to ****** has got to be better than me drinking every day!

[Sonny926]

Hai.

Anyways, just wait for angelina, she'll soon pick you up in her red Dodge Viper SRT-10 and you can use your social anxiety to curve bullets in slow motion.

Sorry, I couldn't resist it, on a serious note I think the only way to get past it is to face your fear. Im in the same boat as you just not as extreme, and I find that practice makes perfect.

Throw yourself in the deep end.

Good luck.

Thanks bro.

Has anyone one else out there got social anxiety, even if it is not to my extent. If so, how do you cope with it?

[StrongFirstPost]

My doctor has actually perscribed me SSRIs and MAOIs like prozac and Amitryptiline but none of these have helped some even make me more irritable and nervous. I have asked her on three seperate occasions if she can prescribe me ****** until I see the therapist but she refused stating that they are not a long term solution and cause physical addiction. But WTF? surely being addicted to ****** has got to be better than me drinking every day!

When talking to people socially or at work or whatever, do you ever go red in the face and you can't get the right sentence out?

I get that sometimes so I know how you feel.

[Sonny926]

When talking to people socially or at work or whatever, do you ever go red in the face and you can't get the right sentence out?

I get that sometimes so I know how you feel.

Thats exactly what happens along with many other symptoms like racing heart and a real feeling of dread in my stomach that I'm making a fool of myself. But like I said when I was constantly under the influence of alcohol I wouldn't feel like this at all which is why it feels such a necessity to drink before social situations.

[killinmesmalls]

Oh god....go to the ****ing doctor and have him prescribe you ***** you're terror of social anxiety shall be over


either that or buy an 8 ball of ******* that'll make ya real sociable

[Pain Inflicter]

Thanks bro.

Has anyone one else out there got social anxiety, even if it is not to my extent. If so, how do you cope with it?

I used to have social anxiety, I used to think that people were always judging me. Then I started saying who gives a ****. Not giving a **** really is the best medicine.

[Sonny926]

I used to have social anxiety, I used to think that people were always judging me. Then I started saying who gives a ****. Not giving a **** really is the best medicine.

Even though I know its very illogical and irrational to think this way, I just can't snap out of it and "not give a ****". I really wish I could but when I come into one of these social situations it just flares out of control again.

[Pain Inflicter]

Even though I know its very illogical and irrational to think this way, I just can't snap out of it and "not give a ****". I really wish I could but when I come into one of these social situations it just flares out of control again.

Actually, a main part of treating people who have ocd or are antisocial is by switching their behavior into a who gives a **** mode. Once you train your brain into not giving a ****, then you're set.

[Pern]

Put down the booze. Get a prescription like suggested. Anything addictive like ****** is not a good option for every day use. Maybe for going out every once in awhile (rec use), but definitely not work.

It's easier said then done, but start practicing self help methods (i.e. along the lines of not giving a **** about other people)...

[18gauge]

take ****** /thread

[SightSeeker]

Uh go to the doctor and tell them so they can give you medication.

[G-mane12]

Heroin.....

[Tech_N9ne]

I don't have social anxiety, but i do have a plethora of disorders that make social situations hard. You need to be confident and respect yourself. I'm not in anyway trying to say your making it up, but it does make it harder to be social when you fear having a breakdown or turning red when talking to someone. Dont think about it. Make a list of everything you've accomplished recently, and everything that is going good for you. No one is really going to help you out much, so you have to take control yourself. Don't care what other people think. If you try to talk to someone and turn all red, so what? Its all about confidence, self respect and mind over matter.

[duece49]

yeah zoloft or ***** ftw