Gf moving in with guy-friend (reps)

**dgb11003** · 08-05-2008, 01:00 PM

Why is there always an assumption that a male and female cant' live together without hooking up?

I live with a chick and never hooked up with her. My gf doesn't even appear worried (but shes a girl so she prob. is all the time).

Maybe in college...but after college, come on...

**SycG** · 08-05-2008, 01:01 PM

Originally Posted by IKnowWhoYouAre

No, it's just they've been good friends now for a year or so. He lived in her building last year.
I told her "no guy has a girl as a friend unless they want to f*ck you. He's just waiting for you to a) get drunk and have sex with him, b) be dumped by me and run to him, as you always do."

As far as I have seen, it's strictly a platonic relationship, but...with women and men and alcohol...

I agree with this statement actually. I have 100% faith behind the fact if a guy is a really good friend of a girl he either a)wanted to have sex with her originally when they became friends and maybe still wants to or b) hasn't given up on having sex with her

I would definitely confront her. The one problem being that girls can be very naive so she might not believe this. Be careful how you approach this or you could be handing your girl over to this guy

**hypnotic** · 08-05-2008, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by DougB541

Why is there always an assumption that a male and female cant' live together without hooking up?

I live with a chick and never hooked up with her. My gf doesn't even appear worried (but shes a girl so she prob. is all the time).

Maybe in college...but after college, come on...

"Male friends are Cawks in Glass cases that females break during emergencies"

**bubba289** · 08-05-2008, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by SycG

I would definitely confront her. The one problem being that girls can be very naive so she might not believe this. Be careful how you approach this or you could be handing your girl over to this guy

kinda like that episode of "that 70's show" lol

**IKnowWhoYouAre** · 08-05-2008, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by hypnotic

"Male friends are Cawks in Glass cases that females break during emergencies"

Well said. Well-f*cking-said.

**IKnowWhoYouAre** · 08-05-2008, 01:06 PM

Originally Posted by DougB541

Why is there always an assumption that a male and female cant' live together without hooking up?

I live with a chick and never hooked up with her. My gf doesn't even appear worried (but shes a girl so she prob. is all the time).

Maybe in college...but after college, come on...

This happens if a) the female is out of the male's league, b) the male is out of the female's league.
c) Fat people involved. Ugh.

I mean, my biased brain says she's out of his league, but...what do I know about where guys stand (in terms of leagues).
Before this girl, I had a really pretty ex-gf and I consider myself just above avg. (as are 50% of guys. Heh.)

**stew9812** · 08-05-2008, 01:09 PM

If my girl said she was moving in with another guy, i would just tell her how i feel (theres no way in hell thats happening) she still wants to move in, id get another girl. Girls being with other guys is a bad thing weather shes ****ing him or not, guys will suck up to hot chicks and act all nice, making you look more like a dick. Its loose loose if she moves in, id be raged

**bubba289** · 08-05-2008, 01:12 PM

OP u gotta realize she could **** her friend whether they live together or not if she chose to. i obviously have no idea about ya'lls relationship but i can tell u this; a little trust goes a long way, if u want her to trust u, u have to do the same.

with that said, if i were 21 and in your shoes i'd probably react the very same way.

**BackToBasics** · 08-05-2008, 01:15 PM

You can put two irritable pit bulls in a small cage together and MAYBE they won't fight. But if I had to wager money....

Point being: Hey, maybe nothing will ever happen, and it will always remain platonic. But knowing what we do of human nature, are you willing to bet on it?

**IKnowWhoYouAre** · 08-05-2008, 01:18 PM

Aite well we're going to meet for lunch right now, but I'm just gonna tell her this (which is the truth):

-If she does move in with him, I'll have to really think about our future as I feel it's disrespectful towards me.
-It's kinda a trust issue, but not too much. She knows I'm very laissez-faire when it comes to relationships. It's just LIVING with a dude, especially THIS GUY, of all guys, makes me uneasy.
-*slap*

(last one is jk, (no benchncurls))

Thanks y'all for your input. I really appreciate it.

**mercury12** · 08-05-2008, 01:19 PM

It's just disrespectful. Plain and simple. Do you intentionally put yourself in situations with other women?

I guess you have to look at a few things. How serious are you? If you're serious, and she's serious, then you don't put yourself in these situations out of respect for your partner.

She's immature, that's why she thinks this is an OK idea. Are her parents still together? Go find a successful couple that has been together for 10+ years and ask them what they think about the idea. Ask them how many close friends of the opposite sex they spend alone time with.

It's disrespectful to put your partner through that. She sounds like a good girl, and chances are nothing would happen. But, it's still not very considerate of you.

These guys and all their friends are going to be all over her. How would she feel if you went to a singles' convention or singles bar or whatever with a friend? You'd just be there to help your friend out, but would she be comfortable with that? Knowing that all those single women would be around you thinking they possibly had a chance?

Bottom line is you can't be angry about it. You have to be matter-of-fact. Let her know it upsets you and you don't like it. Ask her how it'd make her feel if you did this with women. She'll probably go to all her 21 yr old girlfriends to complain and they'll all call you jealous and controlling because they are immature too. Does she have a pastor? Tell her to talk to him about it.

**dgb11003** · 08-05-2008, 01:21 PM

Like someone else said, if shes going to cheat, she would've already boned him. If she can't find someone else to live with....you can't really tell her no (my best bud allowed his ex gf to move in with her ex bf cause she had no place to live....i don't think i'd allow that, but its trust...)

Honestly..if you can't trust her...spy on her...its easy. But its my belief you shouldn't be with someone who you can't trust.

EDIT: Reading this thread...MAD trust issues with some of you haha.

brb...****ing my roommate.

(sorry baby).

**caramon** · 08-05-2008, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by IKnowWhoYouAre

Brah, I've thought to do that so many times.

The only thing is that
-we have a great relationship. Sex, food, apt. cleaning whenever I want (and she's a 'good sport' about things.
-I don't have any back-ups. I sorta dropped all the rest of the girls I was talking to because things with my gf just got better and better, as they still are today (with the exception of this one problem).

Tell her that you have a new friend who's a girl (make one up) and that she asked you to hang out. If she has a problem with it, bust her on her hypocrosy and break up with her. Seriously, that's disrespectful of her to hang out with some other guy much less live with him. Does he like her? Did he ever try and get along with you?

By the way, many girls share those same good traits you described about your girlfriend and much more. She's not all that.

Originally Posted by IVEverLow

How's the new car process going?

I got one.

Not the WRX but a different one. Your advice came in handy.

**bmy-** · 08-05-2008, 01:21 PM

Hell no. If I had a rock..

Originally Posted by IKnowWhoYouAre

Word.
She'd be mad jealous. She gets jealous, as it is.

...too bad she knows that my apt. is set in stone as my lease won't run out til July of 2009.

but we go to a big U and the dorms are generally for freshman and as it is she spent her soph. yr. in dorms for this same reason

Get a girl to split your rent.

**Jhendi82** · 08-05-2008, 01:23 PM

Alright bro a girl I was dating a few years ago in college, tried to pull the same thing on me by moving in with a close guy friend. In my situation I knew something was going on with those two so I let it play out and kept close to the situation. I eventually let my good friend at the time (female) stay with me. The girl I was seeing flipped when she found out, and the fact that she came over and saw her walking around nude. I didn't even fool around with her then, but the girl I was seeing eventually confessed to cheating. Bringing her jealous side out kay be a way to find out if something is going on with the dude and your girl. Gotta keep a close I out on them especially if he's single.

**absolutexpinoy** · 08-05-2008, 01:24 PM

**mercury12** · 08-05-2008, 01:30 PM

Originally Posted by DougB541

Like someone else said, if shes going to cheat, she would've already boned him. If she can't find someone else to live with....you can't really tell her no

I bet you can walk to the bulletin boards at any college in the US (huge university or local community college) and find someone looking for a roommate(s).

**dgb11003** · 08-05-2008, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by mercury12

I bet you can walk to the bulletin boards at any college in the US (huge university or local community college) and find someone looking for a roommate(s).

Yeah you could...but random roommates suck.

I'm saying...it depends on the situation....but as long as I know the guy and trust him...i'm cool with it.

**irishjackmp** · 08-05-2008, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by IKnowWhoYouAre

So I'm definitely going to lay it on her that this won't fly with me.

If she decides to go through with this, I'd have a tough decision to make...

The problem now becomes: where WILL she live? The rest of the people she's close to are in that apt. or me/my friends.

Actually, if she goes through with this, you won't have a tough decision to make... you will have an easy decision to make (but yes, it will hurt).

OP... you don't think she knows everytime she gets out of the shower and walks down the hall wet "friend" is gonna be checking her out? She knows he will.

Forget about whether she will be faithful (i.e. the "Trust" part of the relationship). Relationships are about both Trust and Repsect. And even if she passes the Trust aspect... she clearly fails the Respect aspect.

OP... ask yourself, if you wanted to move in with a woman whom you knew for a fact wanted to do you... what would your GF say??? If she is like 99% of the women out there she would go ballistic.

As for a roomate, didn't she ever hear of craigslist? If it is @ a University they all have some type of roomate finder service.

If you stay with her and she does this it will just constantly eat you up inside... and then 6 months from now when you have had enough of "friend" eyef*cking your GF and your break up with her, you will have wished you had broken up with her int he first place.

OP, the fact she is thinking about doing this shows she does not respect you... she knows her "friend" wants to f*ck her.

**dgb11003** · 08-05-2008, 01:45 PM

ahh does the guy want to Do her? cause thats ****ed up.

(no i did not read the OP's post).

Then yeah, don't let that slide.

**bill257** · 08-05-2008, 01:47 PM

The fact that she is even considering moving in with another guy means she doesn't respect you. Dump her. But make sure you do an ass to mouth facial first. She deserves to be degraded.

**irishjackmp** · 08-05-2008, 01:50 PM

Originally Posted by DougB541

Yeah you could...but random roommates suck.

True... but better a random vagina then a specific d*ck.

**dgb11003** · 08-05-2008, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by bill257

The fact that she is even considering moving in with another guy means she doesn't respect you. Dump her. But make sure you do an ass to mouth facial first. She deserves to be degraded.

So would you never get into a relationship with a girl living with a guy?

Its not like they are sharing rooms...

I'm just confused by everyones reactions...I have many girls and guys who have co habitated with no ones bf/gf getting mad that i know of.

**Idgara** · 08-05-2008, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by DougB541

Like someone else said, if shes going to cheat, she would've already boned him. If she can't find someone else to live with....you can't really tell her no (my best bud allowed his ex gf to move in with her ex bf cause she had no place to live....i don't think i'd allow that, but its trust...)

Honestly..if you can't trust her...spy on her...its easy. But its my belief you shouldn't be with someone who you can't trust.

EDIT: Reading this thread...MAD trust issues with some of you haha.

brb...****ing my roommate.

(sorry baby).

Eh, I could see where that logic would come into play, but this situation is a little different.

Just because they haven't boned doesn't mean they never will. Now they'll be exposed to each other more often, and the more you see of someone (while the less you see of another) will eventually start to play a factor.

One day she might be getting out of the shower and walking to her room the exact moment he comes out of his room, and that might be all it takes.

Maybe they've wanted to bone in the past, but never have gotten the chance to because OP was there to 'foil their plans'. Or maybe they've never had easy access to the privacy they will now have.

So many things to take into consideration.

**Spartan1414** · 08-05-2008, 02:28 PM

Certainly a bad situation that isn't gonna breed anything but distrust in your relationship.

**ApG** · 08-05-2008, 02:52 PM

She'll get no place to live because you're insecure. great.

If you're really thinking she'll cheat, she really doesn't have to live with them in order to do that.

**fecalpheliac** · 08-05-2008, 03:05 PM

just dump her. No reason, just dump. Stupid bitches seriously

**alero** · 08-05-2008, 03:11 PM

I'm an old man now so my best days are behind me, but I used to be a real prick when I was younger. All you guys saying, "just trust in love, man"- I made a living off of trying to break the backs of old ladies dating guys like you. Mostly because you never suspected it. It doesn't take a ton of game because its just human nature, plain and simple.
Now there are some girls I met that were honest and acted like real ladies. I didn't waste my time on her.
Not trying to sound cocky or come off as a douche, its just shes at an age when a lot of girls don't think that far in advance.

**SouthsideIrish44** · 08-05-2008, 03:17 PM

OP you already know the deal here... as you've already said, women are emotional, etc. They run to their guy-friends who kiss ass when we're being "mean." All guy-friends are just sitting there in the wings waiting to move in on your territory.

This is a ****ty situation. I actually had a similar one where I got really busy with work/medic school and could rarely go out. Her "guy-friend" and her eventually hooked up and she dumped me because I wasn't able to go partying and pay attn. to her 24/7. Women act 100% on a whim with their emotions... it's fcuked.

You know you can't allow it, so don't. If she still goes through with it don't dump her ass right away, make sure you get some girls on the backburner first.

**JeepCreeper** · 08-05-2008, 03:17 PM

Back in college I had two female housemates. Yeah, I banged one of them. That could be your gf.

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