boyfriends new job.

**Ausswolf** · 07-15-2008, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

maybe I should just suck it up.

yes, suck his cawk... if you want to keep him that is.

**ryan250** · 07-15-2008, 09:09 AM

Heres the thing, no matter what we or you say, it won't matter. He will cheat if he wants too. So you have 2 options.

1. sit around and worry (which I don't blame you, it's hard not too) BUT where is the logic in that? I've been down that road many times, it's just not worth the energy. IF a person wants to cheat, they will. Its out of your power.
2. brush it off and take it as a compliment.

As long as he doesn't rub it in your face or brag, there isn't much you can do. If it gets out of hand and you feel there is something wrong, talk to him and let him know how it makes you feel. if he is genuinely a good boyfriend, he will listen and reassure you. if not, who cares if he cheats, hes a jag anyways.

kj · 07-15-2008, 09:18 AM

don't worry about it. I am sure there have been instances (or atleast an instance) where someone was hitting on you in front of your boyfriend. Now you would think your boyfriend was pretty silly for being pseudo-insecure (I won't say you are completely secure. You might be almost there. Maybe in denial of yourself being 100% secure. It's alright. Most of us aren't perfectly secure. Not too bad of a thing. It's sort of like anxiety before a race or an exam. Just a tad bit is good. Anything more is just harmful). Don't worry about it. Make him make you a kickass cocktail when he gets home.

**Hunterchilla** · 07-15-2008, 09:24 AM

show him that you care, your jealous and concerned, even if your totally secure, it shows you care. If he has cheating in him, he will cheat, if hes a loyal good guy he probably wont cheat. Regardless do the same in both situations.

**mercury12** · 07-15-2008, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by beeronbeach

but yea, I understand your situation. it's not cool at all. Speak with your bf about how you feel.

But she said she's a bartender too...

Telling him how she feels might seem pretty psycho and insecure if she's doing the same thing.

**USER54894846548948** · 07-15-2008, 09:51 AM

Ripped + Bartender = Lots of hotties

Good luck with that

**NJlifter88** · 07-15-2008, 09:56 AM

Originally Posted by captainhorseboy

good one

sup joe rogan?

lol i know you've gotten that before but seriously you're right, not everyone is a dirtbag... i personally would not cheat on a gf.

**YuMadThough** · 07-15-2008, 09:59 AM

Originally Posted by Idgara

I see what you're saying, but I disagree.

I believe that people can come along and 'steal' girlfriends/boyfriends. Little things like dropping hints, talking trash behind their backs to you, a lot of sexual innuendo in a hostile environment, all are a formula for getting someone to get your mind off of them.

We are human beings, not machines that are programmed to think about one person and one person only. No matter how much we love someone, even if subtle words are being whispered in our ears, we register (even if subconsciously) what is being said to us.

Even if it is a conscious choice to leave with this new person, you cannot really blame someone for getting so much attention (admit it, we all want to be wanted).

If this homewrecking whore of a women has this reputation, the OP's boyfriend should be on his guard not to let her actions affect him.

I understand where you're coming from but temptation is constantly everywhere, the whole point of being in an exclusive relationship is to stay faithfull to each other regardless of external temptation so if the person chooses not to be faithfull then its that persons fault for choosing to give in to the temptation and to cheat on his/her partner.
Single people have a right to flirt with people in relationships because they haven't made a commitment to anyone whereas people in relationships have made a commitment to their partner so if anything happens between them and some else whos single, ultimately its their own fault regardless of who initiated the flirting, they pledged commitment to their partner, they broke it thus they are in the wrong.

Take for example a guy promising his daughter he will be at her 11th birthday party, say an hour or so before he travels to this party he goes into a bar for a quick drink but then gets talking to someone who convinces him to stay in that pub for a further couple of hours, this then causes him to miss his daughters entire birthday party.
Whos fault is it that he let his daughter down, himself for giving into the temptation to stay in the bar or was it down to the person in the bar that influenced him to stay?

People are responsible for their own actions, sure some things can have influence but unless you're staring down a gun barrel being forced to do something against your own free will then theres no excuse for making bad decisions regardless of the level of temptation.
If someone cheats, they choose to cheat.

**neekz0r** · 07-15-2008, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

So. As you all know, my boyfriend is a bodybuilder ( also a hockey player, lacrosse player, boxer, baseball player, ect..lol) But... he's recently got a new job bartending at one of the local bars in town.

Here's the problem. I'm secure in the relationship, I'm just not used to all the attention he has been getting from other women... and his ego is through the roof. I'm happy for him, since he was the fat chubby kid who transformed into the incredible hulk.. and he's making amazing money... actually quite a bit more than I do from bartending at the other bar in town ( due to drink prices which are incredibly high, but thats another story).

So, the girl that hired him there has a thing for him. She flirts with him SO bad and she knows that him and I are together. I can't confrot her about it since she's now his boss. She's actually known around town as the boyfriend stealer. I know he would never cheat on me , he's a very good bf ( He is the one who wants to settle down, move in together, take the next step, etc.)

I guess this post is just to rant about how much I hate other women right now. LOL. any advice? maybe I should just suck it up.

Don't let it consume you -- if you start losing faith the relationship is mostly over and (somewhat paradoxically) it'll drive him to be more likely to cheat. That being said, treat it like it is; a pathetic attempt from a woman who sees it as a game to try to 'steal' the guy away from the girl. Clearly, we know who has the lower self esteem here, why else would she try so hard to 'steal' all those guys? Just let it ride, let her flirt, and know that in the end, you already have the guy and don't have a god damn thing to worry about.

**Idgara** · 07-15-2008, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by Ace_2004

I understand where you're coming from but temptation is constantly everywhere, the whole point of being in an exclusive relationship is to stay faithfull to each other regardless of external temptation so if the person chooses not to be faithfull then its that persons fault for choosing to give in to the temptation and to cheat on his/her partner.
Single people have a right to flirt with people in relationships because they haven't made a commitment to anyone whereas people in relationships have made a commitment to their partner so if anything happens between them and some else whos single, ultimately its their own fault regardless of who initiated the flirting, they pledged commitment to their partner, they broke it thus they are in the wrong.

Take for example a guy promising his daughter he will be at her 11th birthday party, say an hour or so before he travels to this party he goes into a bar for a quick drink but then gets talking to someone who convinces him to stay in that pub for a further couple of hours, this then causes him to miss his daughters entire birthday party.
Whos fault is it that he let his daughter down, himself for giving into the temptation to stay in the bar or was it down to the person in the bar that influenced him to stay?

People are responsible for their own actions, sure some things can have influence but unless you're staring down a gun barrel being forced to do something against your own free will then theres no excuse for making bad decisions regardless of the level of temptation.
If someone cheats, they choose to cheat.

The bolded part is where you and I differ drastically. The reason why people cheat so much is because nobody respects relationships anymore. They do not have a 'right' to become a homewrecker. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, what gives you the right to go for someone who is trying to be a part of a committed relationship?

We're all subject to temptation, no matter how committed we are. The only difference is the amount of time before we crack. Which is why I believe women cheat more than men: they are faced with more temptation every day than 10 men put together are.

True, I do believe that if someone cheats, the blame lies on them because they are the ones cheating.

But it takes two to tango. If the other person knowingly went after them even though they were already in a relationship, that doesn't make them any better. Playing the "I don't have anything to lose" card isn't a good plea for innocence, don't you think?

I understand where you're coming from. I really do. I just don't agree with it.

**niospecv** · 07-15-2008, 10:35 AM

Let him PIIYB and swallow and he won't stray.

**Compton24_OLD** · 07-15-2008, 10:37 AM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

So. As you all know, my boyfriend is a bodybuilder ( also a hockey player, lacrosse player, boxer, baseball player, ect..lol) But... he's recently got a new job bartending at one of the local bars in town.

Here's the problem. I'm secure in the relationship, I'm just not used to all the attention he has been getting from other women... and his ego is through the roof. I'm happy for him, since he was the fat chubby kid who transformed into the incredible hulk.. and he's making amazing money... actually quite a bit more than I do from bartending at the other bar in town ( due to drink prices which are incredibly high, but thats another story).

So, the girl that hired him there has a thing for him. She flirts with him SO bad and she knows that him and I are together. I can't confrot her about it since she's now his boss. She's actually known around town as the boyfriend stealer. I know he would never cheat on me , he's a very good bf ( He is the one who wants to settle down, move in together, take the next step, etc.)

I guess this post is just to rant about how much I hate other women right now. LOL. any advice? maybe I should just suck it up.

Read my signature.

**mercury12** · 07-15-2008, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by Idgara

The bolded part is where you and I differ drastically. The reason why people cheat so much is because nobody respects relationships anymore. They do not have a 'right' to become a homewrecker. There are over 6 billion people on this planet, what gives you the right to go for someone who is trying to be a part of a committed relationship?

We're all subject to temptation, no matter how committed we are. The only difference is the amount of time before we crack. Which is why I believe women cheat more than men: they are faced with more temptation every day than 10 men put together are.

True, I do believe that if someone cheats, the blame lies on them because they are the ones cheating.

But it takes two to tango. If the other person knowingly went after them even though they were already in a relationship, that doesn't make them any better. Playing the "I don't have anything to lose" card isn't a good plea for innocence, don't you think?

I understand where you're coming from. I really do. I just don't agree with it.

I do agree that you're a dirtbag if you want to try and knowingly get someone else's wife to cheat on her husband (or vice versa).

But outside people don't always know what your status is.

"Hey, I'm going to commence flirting with you after you verify that you are not in a committed relationship with anyone." No one is going to do that. No one is going to ask HOW committed you are to the person you're seeing/dating/hanging out with.

When a person is in a good, healthy relationship and he/she respects that relationship, it is nearly impossible to be flirtacious with that person. You put up boundries and people immediately know when they've crossed them. If you're letting the flirtaciousness get across the boundries, you're not respecting your relationship. So if someone is allowing the flirting to take place or even reciprocating it, then why would a person think that wheover he/she is flirting with is off limits?

That's why I think it's hard to be a bartender in a committed relationship... because part of your job is accepting the flirtaciousness (and maybe recriprocating) and getting bigger tips.

The flirt is just knocking on your door... if you dont' slam it in his/her face, what reason does he/she have to stop?

To me, this is just a dangerous lifestyle for a serious couple.

**Idgara** · 07-15-2008, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by mercury12

I do agree that you're a dirtbag if you want to try and knowingly get someone else's wife to cheat on her husband (or vice versa).

But outside people don't always know what your status is.

"Hey, I'm going to commence flirting with you after you verify that you are not in a committed relationship with anyone." No one is going to do that. No one is going to ask HOW committed you are to the person you're seeing/dating/hanging out with.

When a person is in a good, healthy relationship and he/she respects that relationship, it is nearly impossible to be flirtacious with that person. You put up boundries and people immediately know when they've crossed them. If you're letting the flirtaciousness get across the boundries, you're not respecting your relationship. So if someone is allowing the flirting to take place or even reciprocating it, then why would a person think that wheover he/she is flirting with is off limits?

That's why I think it's hard to be a bartender in a committed relationship... because part of your job is accepting the flirtaciousness (and maybe recriprocating) and getting bigger tips.

The flirt is just knocking on your door... if you dont' slam it in his/her face, what reason does he/she have to stop?

To me, this is just a dangerous lifestyle for a serious couple.

Yea, I see what you're saying. I was forgetting for a moment the profession of the OP and her bf.

Being a bartender, you pretty much HAVE to flirt with customers to get those big tips and to get them to come back as regulars.

And while people do not always know if you're in a relationship or not, I do believe that it is NOT their fault it they did not know ahead of time.

But in this case, the boyfriend's boss knows he's in a relationship, and a committed one at that, and she is STILL persuing it. That is the kind of attitude I was speaking about that really brings our society down.

**mercury12** · 07-15-2008, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by Idgara

But in this case, the boyfriend's boss knows he's in a relationship, and a committed one at that, and she is STILL persuing it. That is the kind of attitude I was speaking about that really brings our society down.

Which makes me wonder if he's slammed that door in her face or not when she crosses the line.

And how would a boss take that? Hard to say...

But, for the sake of the relationship, he has to shut that door even if it costs him his job.

**Idgara** · 07-15-2008, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by mercury12

Which makes me wonder if he's slammed that door in her face or not when she crosses the line.

And how would a boss take that? Hard to say...

But, for the sake of the relationship, he has to shut that door even if it costs him his job.

Good observation. Being that she's his boss, and she's still flirting so much with him, it really does make me wonder how hard he is slamming that door...

But now we're getting to the interesting part: priorities. What's more important: new job or relationship?

**Crazymix** · 07-15-2008, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

So. As you all know, my boyfriend is a bodybuilder ( also a hockey player, lacrosse player, boxer, baseball player, ect..lol) But... he's recently got a new job bartending at one of the local bars in town.

Here's the problem. I'm secure in the relationship, I'm just not used to all the attention he has been getting from other women... and his ego is through the roof. I'm happy for him, since he was the fat chubby kid who transformed into the incredible hulk.. and he's making amazing money... actually quite a bit more than I do from bartending at the other bar in town ( due to drink prices which are incredibly high, but thats another story).

So, the girl that hired him there has a thing for him. She flirts with him SO bad and she knows that him and I are together. I can't confrot her about it since she's now his boss. She's actually known around town as the boyfriend stealer. I know he would never cheat on me , he's a very good bf ( He is the one who wants to settle down, move in together, take the next step, etc.)

I guess this post is just to rant about how much I hate other women right now. LOL. any advice? maybe I should just suck it up.

you are not secure with your relationship like you think you are.

**caramon** · 07-15-2008, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by GilGrape

Ripped + Bartender = Lots of hotties

Good luck with that

Wow. After reading all of these replies (many of which are good), I bet the OP is feeling really great about her relationship now.

**healthyChick25** · 07-15-2008, 11:51 AM

guys, guys GUYS.... LOL.

I am thankful you all are taking the time to offer advice on this situation, but you all are missing my point completely.

Im NOT worried about him cheating. The thought doesn't even enter my mind. Sure, I'm not niave and I know there is always the chance, but He is not that type of guy... never has been... so why assume the worst? I have complete trust that he won't stray. that is not my issue.

My issue is other women. They annoy me. lol. Its all just so pointless. Mind you, when I'm at work he sees other guys hit on me and knows its part of my job. I have been known to flirt back ( a happy customer tips more... lol) but I know I would never cheat on him. I guess when the tables have turned I realize how hard it must be for him watching me.

and his boss. I know he can't be stolen -- its his decision and his decision only. But, its annoying that she can't seem to keep her hands to herself.

Its not an issue, really, I'm more annoyed than anything else. I'm sure in time I'll get used to it. As for his boss, well, I'm hoping she'll get tired and give up soon.

**KennyK** · 07-15-2008, 11:53 AM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

guys, guys GUYS.... LOL.

I am thankful you all are taking the time to offer advice on this situation, but you all are missing my point completely.

Im NOT worried about him cheating. The thought doesn't even enter my mind. Sure, I'm not niave and I know there is always the chance, but He is not that type of guy... never has been... so why assume the worst? I have complete trust that he won't stray. that is not my issue.

My issue is other women. They annoy me. lol. Its all just so pointless. Mind you, when I'm at work he sees other guys hit on me and knows its part of my job. I have been known to flirt back ( a happy customer tips more... lol) but I know I would never cheat on him. I guess when the tables have turned I realize how hard it must be for him watching me.

and his boss. I know he can't be stolen -- its his decision and his decision only. But, its annoying that she can't seem to keep her hands to herself.

Its not an issue, really, I'm more annoyed than anything else. I'm sure in time I'll get used to it. As for his boss, well, I'm hoping she'll get tired and give up soon.

you don't get hit on?

**justanothagirl** · 07-15-2008, 11:54 AM

yeah i agree with the OP women like that are scum. i would never go after a guy who is involved with another girl. it's completely unethical to try and come in between love, and disrespectful towards the girl

**healthyChick25** · 07-15-2008, 11:59 AM

Originally Posted by KennyK

you don't get hit on?

ofcourse I do. But the guys who hit on me don't know me that well so don't realize I have a boyfriend ( fi they saw him I'm sure they'd **** their pants..lol) But its those women who KNOW he's committed and don't care that irk me.

**ryan250** · 07-15-2008, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

guys, guys GUYS.... LOL.

I am thankful you all are taking the time to offer advice on this situation, but you all are missing my point completely.

Im NOT worried about him cheating. The thought doesn't even enter my mind. Sure, I'm not niave and I know there is always the chance, but He is not that type of guy... never has been... so why assume the worst? I have complete trust that he won't stray. that is not my issue.

My issue is other women. They annoy me. lol. Its all just so pointless. Mind you, when I'm at work he sees other guys hit on me and knows its part of my job. I have been known to flirt back ( a happy customer tips more... lol) but I know I would never cheat on him. I guess when the tables have turned I realize how hard it must be for him watching me.

and his boss. I know he can't be stolen -- its his decision and his decision only. But, its annoying that she can't seem to keep her hands to herself.

Its not an issue, really, I'm more annoyed than anything else. I'm sure in time I'll get used to it. As for his boss, well, I'm hoping she'll get tired and give up soon.

If you don't worry about him cheating, this broad shouldn't bother you at all..... sounds like you're more jealous than anything.

**KennyK** · 07-15-2008, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

ofcourse I do. But the guys who hit on me don't know me that well so don't realize I have a boyfriend ( fi they saw him I'm sure they'd **** their pants..lol) But its those women who KNOW he's committed and don't care that irk me.

if you know he won;t cheat you shouldn't worry about it

these hoes today are OUTTA CONTROL!

**miaheatfan** · 07-15-2008, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by ryan250

If you don't worry about him cheating, this broad shouldn't bother you at all..... sounds like you're more jealous than anything.

x2

You keep contradicting yourself by saying that you are confident he won't cheat but you're mad at girls for tempting him.

**ryan250** · 07-15-2008, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by KennyK

if you know he won;t cheat you shouldn't worry about it

these hoes today are OUTTA CONTROL!

Gotta knock em out like hood rats brah.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

**tcpombomb** · 07-15-2008, 12:12 PM

pics of bf (no homo).

**johnrich69** · 07-15-2008, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by maurer

just gotta take your own advice and suck it up. it sucks being insecure about it and nobody could blame you for it. at the end of the day, you just have to trust that your boyfriend won't act on the girl's advances.

I'm sure that you're boyfriend is aware of this bothering you so I'm going to go ahead and agree with the above. ^^^^ Jealousy is an ugly trait in both men and women.............................X2.............. .............................

**johnrich69** · 07-15-2008, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by ryan250

Gotta knock em out like hood rats brah.

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

ILMAO......Reped

**javyn** · 07-15-2008, 12:20 PM

I think every man everywhere who isn't single has to deal with situations like this all the time with their women. Suck it up.

Originally Posted by healthyChick25

So. As you all know, my boyfriend is a bodybuilder ( also a hockey player, lacrosse player, boxer, baseball player, ect..lol) But... he's recently got a new job bartending at one of the local bars in town.

Here's the problem. I'm secure in the relationship, I'm just not used to all the attention he has been getting from other women... and his ego is through the roof. I'm happy for him, since he was the fat chubby kid who transformed into the incredible hulk.. and he's making amazing money... actually quite a bit more than I do from bartending at the other bar in town ( due to drink prices which are incredibly high, but thats another story).

So, the girl that hired him there has a thing for him. She flirts with him SO bad and she knows that him and I are together. I can't confrot her about it since she's now his boss. She's actually known around town as the boyfriend stealer. I know he would never cheat on me , he's a very good bf ( He is the one who wants to settle down, move in together, take the next step, etc.)

I guess this post is just to rant about how much I hate other women right now. LOL. any advice? maybe I should just suck it up.

LOL why are you asking men this? This is the questions men should be asking you as a woman. I certainly have a theory though. Jealousy. Women can be incredibly jealous. That's why I used to like taking hot female friends out knowing whatever woman rejected me previously would see. Without fail they freak out every time and later try to get with me. *shakes head.

Whats more, why would a girl want a guy who already has a girlfriend?

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