The Way It Works And Why You Should Stop It

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 06:56 PM

There are loads of threads on here about sex and its repercussions. They are similar and progressive, based on the age of the posters.

So Guy meets Girl, its their first relationship and they lose their virginity to each other. Then they inevitably break up, because its a teen relationship. Guy posts on here saying how depressed he is, and receives advice to go out and bang some other girls.

Guy then meets Girl. Girl has had a previous relationship and isn't a virgin. Guy posts on here saying that he can't handle the fact she isn't a virgin, so they break up. Guy requests advice, and again is told to go out and bang some random girls. Girl also feels the need to build up her confidence and self-esteem, and has sex with a couple of guys. They're in college now, so the opportunities are greater.

Guy and Girl meet. Guy has now had two serious relationships and shagged about 10 randoms. Girl has also had two serious relationships, and shagged maybe 3 other guys. Guy posts on here saying he thinks she's a slut because she's slept with 5 guys and she's only 20, despite the fact that he has slept with 12 girls at this point. He's not a slut though, he's a Dave Man who has done a Good Job. So again, they break up.

And so it goes on. This is a cycle that is so often repeated on here. And yet Guy and Girl in the story have lived very similar lives.

I've noticed a major problem with many people on here, and in real life, is the inability to get over people's pasts. Well you know as you get older, everyone has a bigger past. In 20 years' time, it won't make the slightest difference when someone lost their virginity or how many people they slept with in college. Divorce rates are high and its a fair bet that many of you will end up dating in your 30s and 40s, when people not only have exes, but are also divorced and may even have children. Then you have to deal with the fact that SHOCK HORROR! Girl has not only slept with other guys, she even loved one guy enough to marry him and have children ... just as Guy did. You will have to learn to deal with it and stop judging people by their actions as a youth.

However wild people get in college or Uni, they will almost certainly be completely different people 10 or 15 years down the line.

Cliffs:
- People have exes
- Deal with it

**Zmoke** · 07-09-2008, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

There are loads of threads on here about sex and its repercussions. They are similar and progressive, based on the age of the posters.

So Guy meets Girl, its their first relationship and they lose their virginity to each other. Then they inevitably break up, because its a teen relationship. Guy posts on here saying how depressed he is, and receives advice to go out and bang some other girls.

Guy then meets Girl. Girl has had a previous relationship and isn't a virgin. Guy posts on here saying that he can't handle the fact she isn't a virgin, so they break up. Guy requests advice, and again is told to go out and bang some random girls. Girl also feels the need to build up her confidence and self-esteem, and has sex with a couple of guys. They're in college now, so the opportunities are greater.

Guy and Girl meet. Guy has now had two serious relationships and shagged about 10 randoms. Girl has also had two serious relationships, and shagged maybe 3 other guys. Guy posts on here saying he thinks she's a slut because she's slept with 5 guys and she's only 20, despite the fact that he has slept with 12 girls at this point. He's not a slut though, he's a Dave Man who has done a Good Job. So again, they break up.

And so it goes on. This is a cycle that is so often repeated on here. And yet Guy and Girl in the story have lived very similar lives.

I've noticed a major problem with many people on here, and in real life, is the inability to get over people's pasts. Well you know as you get older, everyone has a bigger past. In 20 years' time, it won't make the slightest difference when someone lost their virginity or how many people they slept with in college. Divorce rates are high and its a fair bet that many of you will end up dating in your 30s and 40s, when people not only have exes, but are also divorced and may even have children. Then you have to deal with the fact that SHOCK HORROR! Girl has not only slept with other guys, she even loved one guy enough to marry him and have children ... just as Guy did. You will have to learn to deal with it and stop judging people by their actions as a youth.

However wild people get in college or Uni, they will almost certainly be completely different people 10 or 15 years down the line.

Cliffs:
- People have exes
- Deal with it

lmao

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:02 PM

Well I guess I am lucky or any female that has me will be lucky. I have only been with people I have had relationships with. Random hooks up, that never led to anything intense or something I'd have to consider a crazy past. So, I always believe any female who gets me, needs to be honored in that aspect.

Also, I think age does a lot with this. The older you get, the more mature you are and realize the person you are with will have a past, because they weren't with you at that time. Can't get angry for someone doing them, when you weren't around. Now if you were around and it's happening in the present, then you have by all means to get upset, because that would mean he/she is cheating.

The fact that girls mature quicker than guys (I am not sure if our generation this is still happening, a lot of females make me beg to differ but then a lot of guys make me ponder over the situation even more). As girls mature quicker than guys, they will have a higher degree to accept a guy with a past. For some reason, guys think that the girl should have been with them and only them, not realizing that if they date the girl and break up but slept together, then he's in her past. So he can't be upset if she slept with someone before him. Because if she sleeps with him and breaks up, then he's leaving her to go with another guy, who's as ignorant and judgmental about these stupid stuff, as he is.

If guys will learn to just grow up, and realize the world doesn't revolve around them being THE MAN because their partner had more sexual partners than them, then they'd have chance for a loving relationship.

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:05 PM

no guy or girl should put up with a slut for partner.......there are too many people in the world to have to settle on one with huge past

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:10 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

no guy or girl should put up with a slut for partner.......there are too many people in the world to have to settle on one with huge past

What do you consider a slut though?

And even sluts need loving too. People deserve a chance, especially if they've changed. People don't know there's of environmental and internal influences that causes an individual to be promiscuous. You shouldn't think you are better than someone, just because they have had more partners than you. Sometimes when you get to the root of the problem with these individuals, all they needed was someone to give a crap about them.

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by musclebound2007

What do you consider a slut though?

And even sluts need loving too. People deserve a chance, especially if they've changed. People don't know there's of environmental and internal influences that causes an individual to be promiscuous. You shouldn't think you are better than someone, just because they have had more partners than you. Sometimes when you get to the root of the problem with these individuals, all they needed was someone to give a crap about them.

i agree that sluts need loving too.....just with other sluts

if you are a virgin you should be going after other virgins.....if you are like 15 and been with 25 people you need to be with a 15yr old thats been with 25 people....

i dont think I am ever better than someone with a past btw....hell my exwife was with 13 guys before me and i was a virgin when we started dating......but shes my ex-wife for a reason....she left me to continue adding to that number

**Violator009** · 07-09-2008, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

There are loads of threads on here about sex and its repercussions. They are similar and progressive, based on the age of the posters.

So Guy meets Girl, its their first relationship and they lose their virginity to each other. Then they inevitably break up, because its a teen relationship. Guy posts on here saying how depressed he is, and receives advice to go out and bang some other girls.

Guy then meets Girl. Girl has had a previous relationship and isn't a virgin. Guy posts on here saying that he can't handle the fact she isn't a virgin, so they break up. Guy requests advice, and again is told to go out and bang some random girls. Girl also feels the need to build up her confidence and self-esteem, and has sex with a couple of guys. They're in college now, so the opportunities are greater.

Guy and Girl meet. Guy has now had two serious relationships and shagged about 10 randoms. Girl has also had two serious relationships, and shagged maybe 3 other guys. Guy posts on here saying he thinks she's a slut because she's slept with 5 guys and she's only 20, despite the fact that he has slept with 12 girls at this point. He's not a slut though, he's a Dave Man who has done a Good Job. So again, they break up.

And so it goes on. This is a cycle that is so often repeated on here. And yet Guy and Girl in the story have lived very similar lives.

I've noticed a major problem with many people on here, and in real life, is the inability to get over people's pasts. Well you know as you get older, everyone has a bigger past. In 20 years' time, it won't make the slightest difference when someone lost their virginity or how many people they slept with in college. Divorce rates are high and its a fair bet that many of you will end up dating in your 30s and 40s, when people not only have exes, but are also divorced and may even have children. Then you have to deal with the fact that SHOCK HORROR! Girl has not only slept with other guys, she even loved one guy enough to marry him and have children ... just as Guy did. You will have to learn to deal with it and stop judging people by their actions as a youth.

However wild people get in college or Uni, they will almost certainly be completely different people 10 or 15 years down the line.

Cliffs:
- People have exes
- Deal with it

lulz, call it a double standard, but chicks dont have to work for dick...

**LovesMuscles** · 07-09-2008, 07:13 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

i agree that sluts need loving too.....just with other sluts

if you are a virgin you should be going after other virgins.....if you are like 15 and been with 25 people you need to be with a 15yr old thats been with 25 people....

i dont think I am ever better than someone with a past btw....hell my exwife was with 13 guys before me and i was a virgin when we started dating......

This is how I see it. Group together with your own.

Edit: 13 GUYS?!?!

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 07:17 PM

Musclebound you're seeing my point much better than 2coop. Unfortunately I can't rep you until I spread some around, apparently.

2coop, let me give you something specific. The teen years are generally a hard time, the transition from childhood to adulthood is peppered with pitfalls, people make mistakes, people turn emo during that time because they feel like nobody understands them or loves them etc. Many people sleep around at that age because it makes them feel loved and wanted, if only temporarily. Suppose you meet a girl when you're 35, and between 17 and 19 years old she slept with 20 guys, because she was suffering from low self-esteem. In the 15 years since then, though, she's made a success of her life, is happy and confident and regrets what she did back then? Are you really going to judge someone for being confused during their teens, when its 15 years later??

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

i agree that sluts need loving too.....just with other sluts

if you are a virgin you should be going after other virgins.....if you are like 15 and been with 25 people you need to be with a 15yr old thats been with 25 people....

i dont think I am ever better than someone with a past btw....hell my exwife was with 13 guys before me and i was a virgin when we started dating......but shes my ex-wife for a reason....she left me to continue adding to that number

She clearly didn't change. How long did you guys date before you guys got married?

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Violator009

lulz, call it a double standard, but chicks dont have to work for dick...

I know full well its a double standard, but so what if girls don't have to work for sex? Does that mean they should never have any?

Women like sex too you know. Some women don't want to be in a relationship, or don't have time for one, or are just sick of guys playing stupid mind games. What do you want them to do, go without?

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by musclebound2007

She clearly didn't change. How long did you guys date before you guys got married?

3.5 years

and to answer your other question:

There are many people that WEREN'T insecure and didnt have sex during their teen years.

**LovesMuscles** · 07-09-2008, 07:21 PM

I can kind of, sort of understand where Aphrodite and Musclebound are coming from but I'm personally not that sympathetic when it comes to this stuff.

**ScOpEy** · 07-09-2008, 07:23 PM

**** my life

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:23 PM

i too would be sympathetic if there were not 3 billion of the opposite sex on the planet.

I for one....will NOT settle. There are too many people out there so I shouldnt have to.

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

Musclebound you're seeing my point much better than 2coop. Unfortunately I can't rep you until I spread some around, apparently.

2coop, let me give you something specific. The teen years are generally a hard time, the transition from childhood to adulthood is peppered with pitfalls, people make mistakes, people turn emo during that time because they feel like nobody understands them or loves them etc. Many people sleep around at that age because it makes them feel loved and wanted, if only temporarily. Suppose you meet a girl when you're 35, and between 17 and 19 years old she slept with 20 guys, because she was suffering from low self-esteem. In the 15 years since then, though, she's made a success of her life, is happy and confident and regrets what she did back then? Are you really going to judge someone for being confused during their teens, when its 15 years later??

2scoop doesn't understand that there are sometimes circumstances in these people's lives that basically, only push them more into a promiscuous lifestyle. They sometimes unfortunately, don't have the upbringing of an individual who's 18 and still a virgin.

I mean look in this forum and you'd see how social pressures are making people who are 18 or 19 and still a virgin, seem like an outcast, when in reality I actually applaud any teenager in this day and age that can actually wait till they are at a mature level mentally, to engage in sexual activity.

There are people on here who don't even know that pre-cum doesn't contain any sperm at all. They believe that they can actually impregnate their girlfriends through this method. A lot of them are always coming here, franticly asking for assistance in this particular area because clearly they aren't prepared to have sex, and become panicked when they do something wrong. I have seen people who are even 18, coming in here panicking for the most ridiculous things.

So more and more, social pressures are causing teenagers to have sex sooner and have frequent relationships which obviously means frequent sexual partners.

As you said, instead of the guys on here provide some positive information to these said teenagers, we have grown men telling them to go screw every single female they can find out there. What kind of advice as a grown man, are you giving to an impressionable teenager?

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 07:25 PM

2coop, you're 25, are you hoping to meet a virgin? Because good luck if you are.

**LovesMuscles** · 07-09-2008, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

i too would be sympathetic if there were not 3 billion of the opposite sex on the planet.

I for one....will NOT settle. There are too many people out there so I shouldnt have to.

How old was she when you met?

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:27 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

3.5 years

and to answer your other question:

There are many people that WEREN'T insecure and didnt have sex during their teen years.

I honestly believe there is a minority out there, who can claim they only had sex with very few individuals. In the world we live in, where sex is pushed up front and more and more methods of birth control are being developed, we are having people having so many sexual partners it's hard to actually find a person who's only had a very few sexual partners.

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

2coop, you're 25, are you hoping to meet a virgin? Because good luck if you are.

I am not a virgin. I am not dating a virgin currently. I have been with more than one person. The person I am dating has been as well. So I have no clue what you are saying other than you are trying to cover for your own past. I am sorry. I was not trying to be mean to what you say but rather point out that no matter what you or anyone says it matters. Like attracts Like and that is what works.

Originally Posted by LovesMuscles

How old was she when you met?

we were 13.....we started dating at 17

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 07:29 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

i too would be sympathetic if there were not 3 billion of the opposite sex on the planet.

I for one....will NOT settle. There are too many people out there so I shouldnt have to.

I'm not saying you should settle. I'm saying you shouldn't judge.

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

I'm not saying you should settle. I'm saying you shouldn't judge.

You realize there are 3 billion females on the planet right? You SHOULDNT judge me for being choosey.

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

I am not a virgin. I am not dating a virgin currently. I have been with more than one person. The person I am dating has been as well. So I have no clue what you are saying other than you are trying to cover for your own past. I am sorry. I was not trying to be mean to what you say but rather point out that no matter what you or anyone says it matters. Like attracts Like and that is what works.

we were 13.....we started dating at 17

So you are going to interview any females you're dating and make sure that she's had sex with about the same amount of people you've had sex with? If she surpasses you by a couple, she's not even an option anymore?

By what you are saying, that seems to be the right conclusion.

**ScOpEy** · 07-09-2008, 07:31 PM

He's just saying he's not going to settle for a slut if he doesn't have to. ****.

**Tiffany Wantsmore** · 07-09-2008, 07:37 PM

"Girl" in my original post had slept with 5 men. Does that make her a slut? Who is to say who's a slut and who isn't? That's what I mean by not judging people. Fine, if you don't want to date someone with a sexual past, don't. But if you do meet someone, and they have made mistakes in the past, its not fair to assume nothing has or will change.

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

"Girl" in my original post had slept with 5 men. Does that make her a slut? Who is to say who's a slut and who isn't? That's what I mean by not judging people. Fine, if you don't want to date someone with a sexual past, don't. But if you do meet someone, and they have made mistakes in the past, its not fair to assume nothing has or will change.

It will probably be impossible to find a female who hasn't slept with 5 guys. Especially a girl who's sociable and have been in relationships or just was dating. With the amount of guys who want girls to put out on the first night, I wouldn't be surprised there being more girls who are at about the 10th mark, at around early 20s. I say this because, unfortunately some girls believe that if they put out, the guy will stay. Are you going to hate on a female who thinks like this because she's tried every other way, and it seems sex is the only way she's getting any type of connection with anyone? I mean some people just are **** out of luck when it comes to finding the right person. Got to go through a lot of wrong ones to get to the right one.

**ScOpEy** · 07-09-2008, 07:42 PM

If no one judged or labeled, or whatever you want to call it, we would all essentially be settling for just about anything.

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:43 PM

Originally Posted by ScOpEy

If no one judged or labeled, or whatever you want to call it, we would all essentially be settling for just about anything.

No one is telling this guy what to do, he's entitled to his own opinion. We're just telling him, with the way things are going now, it'd be impossible to be that picky and he'd probably eventually have to settle, as much as he doesn't. Once you can be open to it now, when it comes, you wouldn't feel as if you're settling. Actually feel as if you're just growing to accept people of different pasts.

**2coop** · 07-09-2008, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by ScOpEy

He's just saying he's not going to settle for a slut if he doesn't have to. ****.

thank you

Originally Posted by ScOpEy

If no one judged or labeled, or whatever you want to call it, we would all essentially be settling for just about anything.

thank you

**musclebound2007** · 07-09-2008, 07:45 PM

Originally Posted by 2coop

thank you

thank you

You do know, no one was telling you you had to settle?

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