Jess just wants to be happy.

[perf_ckt]

So I just want to be happy.
I'll fill you in on the story later today.



WEDNESDAY Calories Protein Fat Carbohydrates

PreW
large pear 116 0.8 0.2 30.8 116

PostW
protein 130 30 0 1
200mL OJ 44 0.5 0.5 10.6
cinnamon shake 4 0 0 0.8
2 equal 7 0 0 1.8
tsp coconut 33 0.3 3.2 1.2 243

MT
binge buster bar 145 12.1 4 10.6
small apple 55 0.3 0.1 14.6 200

L
1/2 wholemeal pita 87 3.5 0.8 15.5
2 egg whites 32 7.3 0.1 0.5
1 egg 78 7 5.6 0.2
baby spinach 2 0.2 0.1 0.2
3 mushroom 11 1.6 0.2 1.6
1 egg 78 7 5.6 0.2 288

D
100g chicken 110 22.5 2.5 0
3 cups broccoli 105 7.2 0.9 16.9
100g sweet potato 66 2 0 14 281

Dessert
homemade protein bar (oats, egg whites, pp, equal, cinnamon, banana) 231 22.5 3.2 26.9

PreB
200g lf cc 180 25 5 7.6
cinnamon shake 4 0 0 0.8
tsp flax seed meal 10 0 0.7 0
tsp cocoa 11 1 0.7 2.7
2 equal 7 0 0 1.8 212


2 packs gum 106 0 0 0 106


TOTAL 150.8 33.4 160.3c 1677

GOAL: (167.00 37.00 167.00 1693)

36.0% 17.9% 38.2%

[amj0883]

A fellow gum addict

I look forward to reading about your goals...

[greenhealth]

I'm here for ya, sub'd

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by amj0883

A fellow gum addict

I look forward to reading about your goals...

this is my gum usage AFTER i started to cut down... so bad. its screwing with my calorie intake and macros but i can't stop!!!

[perf_ckt]

My name's Jess and I'm a true blue Aussie.
When I was young I was a ballet dancer, but at age 13 I decided to quit because I was "too fat". I just kept eating throughout childhood and ended up around 180lbs.
Around age 15 I decided I was going to lose weight (aka eating disorder). By 16 I was 80lbs.

So. This is me, after recovery. Trying to build some muscle and get healthy. and most of all, happy.

I love running and I currently do Bootcamp (read: group fitness circuit training) 3 mornings a week.
and of course, I lift.

Long term goals:

Reduce/Maintain low body fat
Re-shape my body
Build Muscles
Be fitter and stronger


Short term goals:

clean up my eating... I somehow fell into the habit of ice cream every night after dinner, litres of coke zero every day, and way too much sugar-full chewing gum.

[perf_ckt]

I am just so damn sad all the time!

today im focusing on not eating any sugar filled gum.
I had way too much coke zero still.

Not sure if I have set my calories at a good goal yet.



Exercise was: Bootcamp this morning, we did strength circuit training and running/hopping/jumping up stairs.

But the rest of the day I just sat around and did nothing. So I feel pretty lethargic.




Hopefully I can get up and moving a bit more tomorrow.

[Emma-Leigh]

Welcome! Always good to see fellow Aussies here!

Your story so far is a VERY familiar one. And PLEASE don't let it be something you beat yourself up over... Things happen --> but what counts is how you react to a situation.... So - this is you reacting... And it is a POSITIVE reaction at that - trying to get healthy, and HAPPY!

That is all you need to focus on. Not what you did/ were in the past...

Also - I don't know if you have already, but I really recommend you stick around and read some of the longer term journals in here - they really do help to 'lock down' some good thoughts on people who have gone through the same thing....

Lastly - who said you can't have ice-cream? If you want it, eat it! But have it in moderation. And don't let yourself get obsessed with calories/ macro counts - your focus should be on eating to nourish your body so you regain your health, strength and muscle... the last thing you need to do is send yourself crazy with another 'number goal'...

Good luck!

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by Emma-Leigh

Welcome! Always good to see fellow Aussies here!

Your story so far is a VERY familiar one. And PLEASE don't let it be something you beat yourself up over... Things happen --> but what counts is how you react to a situation.... So - this is you reacting... And it is a POSITIVE reaction at that - trying to get healthy, and HAPPY!

That is all you need to focus on. Not what you did/ were in the past...

Also - I don't know if you have already, but I really recommend you stick around and read some of the longer term journals in here - they really do help to 'lock down' some good thoughts on people who have gone through the same thing....

Lastly - who said you can't have ice-cream? If you want it, eat it! But have it in moderation. And don't let yourself get obsessed with calories/ macro counts - your focus should be on eating to nourish your body so you regain your health, strength and muscle... the last thing you need to do is send yourself crazy with another 'number goal'...

Good luck!

thanx for the advice.
the female journals seem to be one of the most supportive parts of the whole forum.

i love your recipes btw. lol

[vanillabn]

Just wanted to say welcome, I'll be following along Your story is one that I know a lot of people on these boards can relate to, so I think you will find some great support here You definitely have to focus on the future and where you CAN be rather than what has happened before. Just wanted to send some encouragement your way

Good luck, girl! You have lots of support and I know you can accomplish your goals!

[greenhealth]

I would say quit drinking the soda completely. Once you stop you may crave it for a while, there is so much artificial crap in it that it gets quite addicting. Do you like green tea? There are a ton of health benefits, and it will give you a mild caffeine boost in place of the soda...yup

[perf_ckt]

Under the knowledgeable Emma-Leigh's advice I think I'm going to lay off too much macro counting and sticking to 100% eating until I can better deal with my life.

So goals for today:
1. reduce gum consumption
2. reduce coke zero consumption (yesterday = 3 x 600mL)
3. increase protein intake --> i know a lot of my meals don't have a lot of protein.

In the long run:
1. reduced artificial sweetener consumption
2. be happy.


1: 319
tsp flax seed meal 10
tsp oats 9
tsp fruit muesli 38
tsp fruit, nut and seed mix 23
tsp all bran 16
cinnamon shake 4
2 tbsp low fat cottage cheese 36
1/2 tub diet yogurt 33
150mL skim milk 53
banana 80
equal sweetener 17

2. 55
apple 55

3: 183
protein shake 130
pineapple juice 53

4: 276
1/2 a wholemeal pita 87
2 eggs 151
baby spinach 2
2 tbsp low fat cottage cheese 36


5: 328
homemade protein muffins 328

6: 276
apple 55
150g cottage cheese 135
cinnamon 4
2 equal 7
diet yogurt 75


gum: 439
1 pack eclipse gum 64
7 packs juicy fruit gum 45
1 pack extra tropical 60

1876 calories
(no macros for now)


Cardio - 30 minutes, hill run.
Lower Body Weights
my arms are sooooo sore today!!!




Going out drinking this weekend... like the whole weekend, its probabaly not good for my health, but it is good for my sanity. I only have 2 weeks of uni holidays left.

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by greenhealth

I would say quit drinking the soda completely. Once you stop you may crave it for a while, there is so much artificial crap in it that it gets quite addicting. Do you like green tea? There are a ton of health benefits, and it will give you a mild caffeine boost in place of the soda...yup

I'll try green tea today, but I have this feeling its quite bitter?? I have a real sweet tooth.

and I am definitely addicted to artificial sweeteners and the likes.

[amj0883]

Hey girl!!! I think you've got some great goals and its very smart of you take Emma Leigh's advice - she is amazing

I will be following along as you reach your goals!!

*I also need to cut down on the gum and Cherry Coke Zero's*

[greenhealth]

Originally Posted by perf_ckt

I'll try green tea today, but I have this feeling its quite bitter?? I have a real sweet tooth.

and I am definitely addicted to artificial sweeteners and the likes.

Yeah certain kinds can be 'bitter' if your not used to it. I drink this stuff daily;

http://www.rishi-tea.com/store/produ...5&cat=4&page=1

It's unbelievably good for you.

and the longer you go without the fake stuff the less intense your cravings will get. Maybe make the switch for your health, not necessarily for the taste.

[perf_ckt]

1: 116
large pear 116

2: 222
protein powder 130
200mL orange juice 44
cinnamon shake 4
3 equal 11
tsp dessicated coconut 33

3: 219
apple 55
2 x protein muffins 164

4: 238
1/2 a coles roll 94
tbsp avocado 32
chicken breast 100g 110
baby spinach 2

5: 249
carb less crunch bar 162
brown pear 87

6: 402
200g cottage cheese 171
3 equal sachets 11
raisins 25g 84
2 mandarin 72
apple 55


gum: 360
8 packs juicy fruit

1806


Bootcamp! working with medicine balls today.
Can't wait to go out tonight.

waaaaayyyyyy tooo much gum yesterday.
i think my gum addiction stops me from binging.

since I've upped my protein my bodyfat seems to be decreasing, which is fantastic.

[greenhealth]

Originally Posted by perf_ckt

gum: 439
1 pack eclipse gum 64
7 packs juicy fruit gum 45
1 pack extra tropical 60

lol that is ridiculous

[amj0883]

Damn girl - you've got me beat with the gum!!

My favorite is Extra Polar Ice - I can chew it for a good hour before it loses its flavor!!

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by greenhealth

lol that is ridiculous

don't laugh at me!!! i know I have a problem...
i think its an anxiety thing.

[amj0883]

It could be anxiety, bored, or just an oral fixation! Is your gum sugar free?

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by amj0883

It could be anxiety, bored, or just an oral fixation! Is your gum sugar free?

some of it is sugar free, but if its ALL sugar free I binge.

[perf_ckt]

Had a horrible/wonderful bender of a weekend with way too much alcohol and food.

New plan for the week is just to eat one meal every three hours with adequate protein, try not to count calories etc because its screwing me up

and continue with the gum and diet soft drink goals.

[amj0883]

Don't let it mess with you mentally - remember that is over half the battle!! You can do this girl

[perf_ckt]

tsp flax seed meal 10
tsp oats 9
tsp fruit muesli 38
tsp fruit, nut and seed mix 23
tsp all bran 16
cinnamon shake 4
2 tbsp low fat cottage cheese 36
1/2 tub die tyogurt 33
150mL skim milk 53
200g watermelon 60
5 equal sachets 17
2 extra gum 8

protein shake 130
pineapple juice 53

zuchini 20
baby spinach 10
tbsp cottage cheese 18
100g beef 122
barley mountain wrap 72
tsp pesto 11

homemade protein bar 246

1 cup cottage cheese, 240g 216
pear 87
1 sachet diet jelly 35

5 juicy 225
14 pieces extra peppermint 54

1606


30 min elliptical cardio
upper body weight training

[genevieved]

what split are you doing?????

Upper/lower? What exercises are you doing - enjoying them?

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by genevieved

what split are you doing?????

Upper/lower? What exercises are you doing - enjoying them?

at the moment my training is.. all of the place because I do bootcamp 3 times a week, which is a workout that I dont plan what we are doing, sometimes we do mainly cardio or mainly strength or a mix of both.

I also, do cardio on days when im sore, and try to fit my upper/lower split in when i feel i havent done much strength at bootcamp.

this is my last month of bootcamp. then i go back to uni, stop partying so much and get back into regular organised workouts.

[twinnett]

Hi and welcome! I too suffered with an eating disorder, but I'm the road to health now! I would say that you shouldn't really count calories at all at this point. I know that I was using diet pop/sugar free stuff to keep myself from eating, but if you're truly hungry, your body is saying something to you, so feed it nourishing, healthy, real food!! Good luck to you!

[perf_ckt]

PreW 116
large pear 116 0.8 0.2 30.8 116

PostW 204
protein powder 130 30 0 1
100mL farmers best milk 61 4.5 1.4 7.4
1/2 tsp cocoa 6 0.5 0.3 1.4
2 equal 7 0 0 1.8

MT 123 4 eggwhites 61 14.7 0 0.5
2 equal 7 0 0 1.8
small apple 55 0.3 0.1 14.6

L 226 barley wrap 72 2.8 0.4 13.6
25g baby spinach 5 0.6 0.1 0.4
100g zuchini 16 1.2 0.2 3.3
100g pork lean 105 22.5 1.5 0
tsp pesto 10 0.1 0.8 0.6
tbsp cottage cheese low fat 18 2.5 0.5 0.8

AT 134 100g cottage cheese 90 12.5 2.5 3.8
2 equal 7 0 0 1.8
cinnamon shake 4 0 0 0.8
tsp dessicated coconut 33 0.3 3.2 1.2

D 325 (going out )
spaghetti bolognese, 1 cup 325 18.3 8 45

PreB 129
homemade protein bar 129.4 13.4 1.7 13.8

Gum 248
2 pieces eclipse ice peppermint gum 13 0 0 0
4 packs juicy fruit 181 0 0 44.2
14 pack extra gum 54 0 0 0



TOTAL

125 protein 20.9 fat 188.6 carbs 1505.4 calories



33.2% 12.5% 50.1%


Today my body is saying... MEH!!!!.. give me a break.
i only recorded about a quarter of what I ate this weekend due to a large failure of memory caused partying too hard.


exercise: bootcamp. --> strength training with medicine balls

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by twinnett

Hi and welcome! I too suffered with an eating disorder, but I'm the road to health now! I would say that you shouldn't really count calories at all at this point. I know that I was using diet pop/sugar free stuff to keep myself from eating, but if you're truly hungry, your body is saying something to you, so feed it nourishing, healthy, real food!! Good luck to you!

I have been following your story. very inspirational

im not sure if im bingeing because im underweight, or im bingeing because my eating is out of whack/emotional.

[genevieved]

Originally Posted by perf_ckt

at the moment my training is.. all of the place because I do bootcamp 3 times a week, which is a workout that I dont plan what we are doing, sometimes we do mainly cardio or mainly strength or a mix of both.

I also, do cardio on days when im sore, and try to fit my upper/lower split in when i feel i havent done much strength at bootcamp.

this is my last month of bootcamp. then i go back to uni, stop partying so much and get back into regular organised workouts.

Oh ok - so you are a uni student? What are you studying? Are you thinking about continuing with your upper/lower split once bootcamp stops?

[perf_ckt]

Originally Posted by genevieved

Oh ok - so you are a uni student? What are you studying? Are you thinking about continuing with your upper/lower split once bootcamp stops?

yeah. i like the upper/lower split so i can weight train on consecutive days if i need to in order to fit it into my schedule. do u see any major drawbacks to it?

im studying science(psychology major) and law.