The Relationship Q&A Thread with The Experiment

[The Experiment]

It has been requested by others to make another thread. I made a Dating Journal thread about 2 1/2 years ago that held up decently. Yet in that 2.5 years, I felt like I learned a lot.

For those of you who have not read it or any thread, I spent my High School years as a dateless loser. As much as it would be a nerd turned stud story, I started two years on varsity football, not ugly, and was pretty popular. Yet, the women never came. It used to piss me off to no end. I changed that fortunately with a lot of effort and hard work.

This thread is me taking and answering questions that you might have. Sometimes, I will post some stories, maybe either a moment in the past where I couldn't get a woman if my life depended on it or crazy moments where I had more ladies than I knew what to do with.

Some ground rules:

1) I will try to get to your problem as soon as I can. I work a lot now and the little amount of free time I have might be spent doing other things. This doesn't mean that I will a go a week without answering but if it isn't immediate or within a day, don't be too upset.

2) Don't ask stupid questions. If you think you are funny, chances are that you probably aren't. So I would not even waste your time and ask pointless questions.

3) I will never post pictures here. Personal information gets out too readily. You might say "u fraudin" but if you think that, just hit the back button and go elsewhere. I think lying about yourself on the internet is pretty sick and I have nothing to gain with this thread either. Feel free to run a paranoid search and try to bust me on something but smarter people than you have tried and found nothing.

4) I don't mind others helping out. I just ask that Millionaire Superpimps and Dateless Chumps refrain from offering advice.

Any questions? Feel free to post.

[stealth_maven]

1. What makes you think you're an authority on the topic?

2. Who actually has relationships these days?

[Solidarity]

How was having sex with random girls gratifying emotionally for you? I feel the best sex is had with women you have a strong connection with, not the random girl you pick up at the bar.

Do you agree or disagree with this?

[mattwebber]

Originally Posted by Solidarity

How was having sex with random girls gratifying emotionally for you? I feel the best sex is had with women you have a strong connection with, not the random girl you pick up at the bar.

Do you agree or disagree with this?

relationships are great as long as it dosent end
double eged sword i guess

[LeftNut]

Why do you think guys when they get in to a relationship, allow the girl to dictate to them what they can and cant do and why do the girls feel the need to play that role in the first place?

I've been trying to help my mate dictate his own life but his Missus plays the 'He's too immature to be in a relationship' card on him every time he does try to stand up for himself and then gets the guilt trip. Does he allow her to condescend him because he's afraid to just walk away and far too insecure to think he wont be able to find another girl?

How would you handle this if this was your mate? Would you bother getting involved or just let him learn on his own? I've told him to just dump her and move on by the way.

[Frank Drebin]

Originally Posted by stealth_maven

1. What makes you think you're an authority on the topic?

I've read parts of his thread, and the guy knows what he's talking about.

But I'd classify him more as an attraction/dating expert rather than a relationship expert.

Just my opinion.

[The Experiment]

Originally Posted by Solidarity

How was having sex with random girls gratifying emotionally for you? I feel the best sex is had with women you have a strong connection with, not the random girl you pick up at the bar.

Do you agree or disagree with this?

It was because it was fun and exciting. Something to break up the monotony that was all too common in my life. I take lifting weights seriously. As a result, I kept a very strict eating schedule. If I didn't eat at my scheduled time, I needed to eat about 10-15 minutes or I'd start freaking out. Not literally but my day would be ruined. Plus I always had very intense summers where I would work well over 50 hours a week. This summer, I work 60.

During the school year, I would typically work my ass off at my studies, and then still had a part time job.

Taking that all into account, it was a breath of fresh air.

Circumstances will be different for everyone. I don't necessarily buy into the "relationships = more fulfilling" line. While I don't think that the aforementioned mentality is incorrect in any way, it doesn't apply to everyone. Your mileage will vary.

Originally Posted by LeftNut

Why do you think guys when they get in to a relationship, allow the girl to dictate to them what they can and cant do and why do the girls feel the need to play that role in the first place?

I've been trying to help my mate dictate his own life but his Missus plays the 'He's too immature to be in a relationship' card on him every time he does try to stand up for himself and then gets the guilt trip. Does he allow her to condescend him because he's afraid to just walk away and far too insecure to think he wont be able to find another girl?

How would you handle this if this was your mate? Would you bother getting involved or just let him learn on his own? I've told him to just dump her and move on by the way.

Women play this role because it is suggested to them (mother, friends, society) that this is what they should do. Men play their role because it is suggested to them (mostly society) that this is what he should do. Whoever has the pussy makes the rules. I've heard this phrase thrown around a bit in real life and a lot of guys follow it. Most guys typically have low self worth when it comes to women, especially attractive women. It is best to just submit and do everything they say so they can keep their arm charm.

In the end, it is all in his hands. He chooses to stand up for himself and gets guilt tripped. This is what most emotionally abusive relationships will have. In this circumstance, he gets guilt tripped, and then his mentality is so conditioned from the abuse that he will submit and be convinced that he is in the wrong. Pimps do this all the time to their prostitutes. He will beat their faces into bloody pulps and still finds a way for the prostitutes to accept that it was their fault...somehow.

How I handled friends who are going through this is that I do nothing. I used to harangue these guys constantly but again, their minds are conditioned towards the abuse. He doesn't think it is as bad as you say and even if it is, he thinks himself so lowly that he is convinced that, despite their problems, she is the best he can do. It is best just to leave him but if he decides to liberate himself, I wouldn't turn a cold shoulder to him. People **** up all the time, especially in relationships.

Originally Posted by Frank Drebin

I've read parts of his thread, and the guy knows what he's talking about.

But I'd classify him more as an attraction/dating expert rather than a relationship expert.

Just my opinion.

I've had relationships before.

That thread is pretty outdated since I stopped updating for the longest time.

[Solidarity]

So you are saying, because of your time spent on bodybuilding and work, having a relationship would not be conducive? And I do agree with you btw

What have you been up to lately on the female front?

[southernstunna1]

It's not like The Experiment is a random troll. I remember reading his thread back here with my old user name about 3 or 4 years ago and this guy is for real. He's knows what he's talking about.

[giantsfanftw]

Is there any point in a relationship in high school? Or is it better to screw around? Also how do you let a girl know you want her physically, but don't want a relationship?

[EZ-Bar]

IMO its not a good idea to get into a relationship in high school besides just learning what its like.

Not only is it fun to be free, but I have seen so many guys start failing classes, and giving up a lot of fun times because of a girl its not worth it.

[The Experiment]

Originally Posted by Solidarity

So you are saying, because of your time spent on bodybuilding and work, having a relationship would not be conducive? And I do agree with you btw

What have you been up to lately on the female front?

I just don't think I would be a very attentive boyfriend. I've done the relationship thing and with a full plate already, I don't have large blocks of time to devote to a relationship. I often get little small amounts of time, which is why I usually just go online. Not enough time to really do anything else.

I've seen what happens to relationships if there is neglect, whether the person can help it or not. It is never good. I tried to make it work but the huge spaces of time that I need to spend on things do a lot of damage. It seems like most women need to spend some time with their boyfriends or husbands on a regular basis if a relationship is to last.

With the female front, currently seeing a girl right now, who is 18. I met her through a friend (sister of a friend of a friend) and things are going decently to say the least.

Originally Posted by southernstunna1

It's not like The Experiment is a random troll. I remember reading his thread back here with my old user name about 3 or 4 years ago and this guy is for real. He's knows what he's talking about.

Thanks. I understand the first post. If I saw some guy write this, I'd think "Who the **** is this guy?" A request was made to start this thread and I figured that I might as well.

Originally Posted by giantsfanftw

Is there any point in a relationship in high school? Or is it better to screw around? Also how do you let a girl know you want her physically, but don't want a relationship?

Most relationships in high school suck. I still think that you need to get your feet wet and get into one sometime. I know this time is supposed to be the time where you "play around" but there will always be time for that.

The best way for no strings attached sex is to be straightforward about it. Since you are young, this might not work the best. Just have sex and test the waters. She might be up for it, she might not. If she is, don't abuse the relationship too much. She will either feel used or think that you want something more and if you don't want the latter, then this situation will be the worst.

[fkn_give_me_abs]

In for epic thread

[giantsfanftw]

Thanks for the advice

Also does treating women like **** really will get someone laid a lot?

[gobstpr]

good thread so far

[KingCanuck]

What was the biggest thing that contributed to your turnaround?
What in your opinion is the most valuable tool or skill to possess when picking up women?

[BEhave]

subscribed

[Replicator]

Originally Posted by The Experiment

With the female front, currently seeing a girl right now, who is 18. I met her through a friend (sister of a friend of a friend) and things are going decently to say the least.

Do you feel at all weird dating an 18 year old, as a guy who is 5 years older and obviously has more life experience? Do other people see it as weird in any way? I remember about a year ago at a party some 17 year old girl was hitting on me, my friends saw us talking, assumed it was the other way round and thought it was a little creepy. I ended up doing nothing with her even though she was really goodlooking and seemed cool. I'm sure if I had pursued it everyone I know would have thought less of me for it.

[Beklet]

Something I'm really curious about because I see a lot of it.

Why on earth do blokes seem attracted to psycho bunny boiling types? I don't mean the ones that start off normal and creep up on you, I mean the all-out mental psychotic nutjobs?

I have various male friends who meet girls and women like this, they know they're loonies, they know it's all bad, but they put up with it and make excuses for them. And it can't be because they're getting laid because in many cases the bint is withholding that too

[alex1986]

I'm going to an engineering school with a ratio of 80/20 guys/girls. And of the few girls there, maybe 10% are decent looking. The pussy on the pedestal mentality is blown completely out of hand, and women here frequently refer to themselves as goddesses. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed about this scenario?

[Solidarity]

Originally Posted by alex1986

I'm going to an engineering school with a ratio of 80/20 guys/girls. And of the few girls there, maybe 10% are decent looking. The pussy on the pedestal mentality is blown completely out of hand, and women here frequently refer to themselves as goddesses. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed about this scenario?

lol GPS (golden pussy syndrome). i go to a tech school too, ratio is like 70/30 and I managed to find a beautiful and LOYAL girl

[Shaun1990]

A question to The Experiment: you said you didn't start dating until late, around 18 or something? Same here. In fact I cannot realistically see me dating until I go to university in September. So, when you start kissing, do girls like ... notice or freak out at your lack of experience at it? Do they notice?

Originally Posted by alex1986

I'm going to an engineering school with a ratio of 80/20 guys/girls. And of the few girls there, maybe 10% are decent looking. The pussy on the pedestal mentality is blown completely out of hand, and women here frequently refer to themselves as goddesses. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed about this scenario?

You're not limited to girls in your school. Is your school in a city? My future university's halls of residence are right in the middle of the city, so as well as all the uni chicks, I have easy access to the bars and clubs.

[The Experiment]

Originally Posted by KingCanuck

What was the biggest thing that contributed to your turnaround?
What in your opinion is the most valuable tool or skill to possess when picking up women?

The biggest thing was my roommate was pretty skilled with women. I got just tired of being ignored outright by these girls because to them, I added nothing to the table. In the past, I said, "**** them" but at the end of the night, I had to spend quality time with my right hand. As much as I pretended to take the high ground, it got tiring fast.

Another motivator was at this time, I was dropping weight. I decided that I had to make a dramatic life change at this point. If I didn't want to go out, I went out anyway. A lot of times, I was glad that I got up and did something. It was one of those "clean slate" moments. It felt like I was at the cross roads where I'd either be a virginal loser or not.

Greatest tool, that is a good question. A lot of times, it mostly just putting myself in their shoes, to be able to step outside and think about things without my ego getting in the way. I don't think I'm some stud. I just see and take advantage of the opportunities given to me. If not, I try to make them. If I can't, then it wasn't going to happen. If I turned out to be some cocky prick, I would have not gotten as far as I have. I'd be so into myself that my head would be lodged up my ass and I would have never learned the things I know now.

Originally Posted by giantsfanftw

Thanks for the advice

Also does treating women like **** really will get someone laid a lot?

Yes but the emotionally unstable ones. I like what Tucker Max said about himself. He was a good guy with an edge.

Originally Posted by Replicator

Do you feel at all weird dating an 18 year old, as a guy who is 5 years older and obviously has more life experience? Do other people see it as weird in any way? I remember about a year ago at a party some 17 year old girl was hitting on me, my friends saw us talking, assumed it was the other way round and thought it was a little creepy. I ended up doing nothing with her even though she was really goodlooking and seemed cool. I'm sure if I had pursued it everyone I know would have thought less of me for it.

11 and 12 year olds on up hit on me. It honestly creeps me out and my friends joke about it all the time. My friends, including the friend of a friend whose sister is the girl, does not really mind. It seems like everything 18 and up is fair game.

Originally Posted by Beklet

Something I'm really curious about because I see a lot of it.

Why on earth do blokes seem attracted to psycho bunny boiling types? I don't mean the ones that start off normal and creep up on you, I mean the all-out mental psychotic nutjobs?

I have various male friends who meet girls and women like this, they know they're loonies, they know it's all bad, but they put up with it and make excuses for them. And it can't be because they're getting laid because in many cases the bint is withholding that too

A lot of men have low self worth when it comes to women. Some people are convinced that this is the best they are able to get. So they go for them and put up with everything, pretending it isn't bad. Deep down, they know it sucks but in their mind, again, they think that this is the best they can do.

Originally Posted by alex1986

I'm going to an engineering school with a ratio of 80/20 guys/girls. And of the few girls there, maybe 10% are decent looking. The pussy on the pedestal mentality is blown completely out of hand, and women here frequently refer to themselves as goddesses. Do you have any suggestions on how to proceed about this scenario?

I've dating a small amount of engineering girls. I mostly just went for the LAS majors. The attitude is ridiculous and it is always unmerited. The girls I did date were pretty nice and grounded but there were so many dudes trying to make moves on them that it got uncomfortable in general.

I'd look elsewhere, like clubs, parties, bars, etc. I wouldn't normally advise something like this but basically I'd start looking at other options.

Originally Posted by Shaun1990

A question to The Experiment: you said you didn't start dating until late, around 18 or something? Same here. In fact I cannot realistically see me dating until I go to university in September. So, when you start kissing, do girls like ... notice or freak out at your lack of experience at it? Do they notice?

I'm fine with it now. At the time, it was pretty nerve racking because you'd think that at age 18-19, you think girls expect guys who know how to kiss, right? This is what I thought and had to go for it anyway. I got better in time. It is kind of natural so you just have to go with it.

[LovesMuscles]

Ok Experiment, you sound like you know you're stuff so hear this because this is so confusing to me. I live and went to a school where a lot of the guys dated girls that had what's referred to here as princess syndrome (and it's strong where I live). A guy I dated had previously dated a girl before me who was like this (she's 18 years old driving a brand new Infiniti G35, wtf, and no I'm not like this. If anything, I don't even stand out :/).

I've seen this plenty. Why do these guys still date these type of girls knowing full well what they're most likely dealing with? I need to know because there's another chick who's like this and she is as dumb as rocks. Conversations with her as wrist-slashing worthy.

These type always have bf's. What the...?

[Pnigro]

1) Do you watch porn? If so, how often?

2) Did you learn all this stuff by yourself? Or did you learn it from someone else or the internet? Or are you a natural?

[cJamie]

give us the link to your dating journal? now im all curious

[Sounds Good]

Originally Posted by cJamie

give us the link to your dating journal? now im all curious

its on the sticky.

and i've got a question about what i did last night. well, me and some buddies went out drinking and i got HAMMERED. when i get drunk as hell, my ******* meter runs to 100%. at the start of the night, im usually cocky/funny with heavy tones of sarcasm. the ladies were loving it. but as i get more drunk, i just become cocky and lose the sarcasm and insult the ladies to hell to the point where one girl was constantly threatening to punch me. she of course, never did anything. i could honestly care less about these girls (hb4,4,6.5), but what'd i do wrong.

[Beklet]

Originally Posted by The Experiment

A lot of men have low self worth when it comes to women. Some people are convinced that this is the best they are able to get. So they go for them and put up with everything, pretending it isn't bad. Deep down, they know it sucks but in their mind, again, they think that this is the best they can do.

True - it's a sad thing. I've just been out actually and asked a bunch of blokes for their opinions - they said it's because it's easier to stay with them than to try and get rid of them because of all the grief they cause - they just live day to day. One of them even said it took him 3 YEARS to dump his ex

The thing I don't understand though, is given the choice of two girls, equally attractive etc, they like them both, equal possibility for a relationship and they STILL pick the nutter. Why?

[LovesMuscles]

Originally Posted by Beklet

True - it's a sad thing. I've just been out actually and asked a bunch of blokes for their opinions - they said it's because it's easier to stay with them than to try and get rid of them because of all the grief they cause - they just live day to day. One of them even said it took him 3 YEARS to dump his ex

The thing I don't understand though, is given the choice of two girls, equally attractive etc, they like them both, equal possibility for a relationship and they STILL pick the nutter. Why?

Yes, why...Why...WHY?!?!

The stable ones usually get overlooked.

[Shaun1990]

At young ages, stable is often misinterprited as boring.