How do you bodybuild and date people?

[Nate the Snake]

Ive been at this bodybuilding thing for about two years now and have lost a whopping 90 lbs. Training and dieting has opened up the door to many more women, as I was gelatinously fat and ugly before.

That being said, now dating has become difficult because I live in the south and all people want to do here is drink and eat unhealthy fried foods.As I have progressed through my training and weight loss, I have to eat stricter and stricter and train harder and harder to see anymore progress.

My issue is that most women in my town want me to take them to really unhealthy restaurants, and drinking is a huge past time here. I pretty much can hardly ever drink because I gain weight easily and it makes my weight skyrocket. Advice?

[GSXRMax]

take them out to a bar and drink water. bring them to a restaurant and eat a salad. fast all day the IIFYM a chitty meal with them. shouldn't be that hard

[anonymous]

Ive been at this bodybuilding thing for about two years now and have lost a whopping 90 lbs. Training and dieting has opened up the door to many more women, as I was gelatinously fat and ugly before.

That being said, now dating has become difficult because I live in the south and all people want to do here is drink and eat unhealthy fried foods.As I have progressed through my training and weight loss, I have to eat stricter and stricter and train harder and harder to see anymore progress.

My issue is that most women in my town want me to take them to really unhealthy restaurants, and drinking is a huge past time here. I pretty much can hardly ever drink because I gain weight easily and it makes my weight skyrocket. Advice?

I'm in a very similar position OP, best bet is to realize that weight and appearance are not important. You are going to have to come to the conclusion that you workout, eat mostly clean foods, you can eat out and still eat clean mostly. Don't drink, just order unsweet tea or something. You have genetics that naturally want you to store more fat than others, which is why you can't eat out all the time and still look like a beast like some, lifes not fair.

You can't date people for appearance, you can smash for appearance, but you don't date people because of how they look, or at least if you want a healthy relationship you don't.

[Thebunz]

Just adjust your diet on date days so that the food fits into your macros or order something light like a salad with chicken breast.

I always eat light on first dates. The women I go out with find it attractive that I'm so into my nutrition. I don't really see how this is a problem. A little planning goes a long way. If she survives the first date, plan the next one on your cheat day. Fixed

[FU3L]

Just make the dates on your cheat day, whatever meal you have/a couple drinks is your cheat. No biggie.

[anonymous]

Just adjust your diet on date days so that the food fits into your macros or order something light like a salad with chicken breast.

I always eat light on first dates. The women I go out with find it attractive that I'm so into my nutrition. I don't really see how this is a problem. A little planning goes a long way. If she survives the first date, plan the next one on your cheat day. Fixed

I think what he's getting at is having multiple dates a week or getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't value nutrition / exercise as intently as he does. I actually got called a girl on two dates because I ordered a salad. I know I've made almost all of the dates I've been on feel uncomfortable because I talk a lot about my diet / nutrition and how I've lost 200 lbs etc... They usually end up getting kind of defensive and start talking about how they plan to get back in shape but they have too many responsibilities etc, I've learned it's best not to go there.

[deadliftbrah19]

Unfortunately this does happen when you change your appearance dramatically and adopt a bodybuilding lifestyle.

Then you realize that the same people who eat clean and share your lifestyle include about 1% of the population, and usually they are not the best relationship partners. Thus you find someone who eats and trains like you do, but they are narcissistic, fitness models taking millions of selfies on IG/ escorting, bodybuilder men doing gay for pay.

If you move to a more fitness oriented area like San Diego it gets easier.

[AngusPeppered]

Get healthier options when you go out to eat or when you drink, drink vodka. Understand that most people, especially girls, don't live the lifestyle you live and make it work. If you don't want to get something unhealthy when you go on a date, then don't get something unhealthy. That being said, a lot of girls think you're obsessive/narcissistic if you go on a date and don't get something "normal" to eat.

[vsportsguy]

Life's about balance. You aren't drinking and eating out every night are you?

1-2 nights drinking is fine. Just balance out the rest of the week or days accordingly.

As far as food, nobody can make you eat unhealthily. Only people who are insecure will feel uncomfortable and force you to eat chit food so they don't feel guilty. Fuk them. Eat whatever you want.

[1slo5oh]

My issue is that most women in my town want me to take them to really unhealthy restaurants, and drinking is a huge past time here.?

First of all congrats on the weight loss...


Second....Quit handing out free meals to anything with a vagina...


Stay away from the whole dinner thing in the beginning... meet for drinks... a few vodka waters here and there wont kill your progress I promise... And once its time to progress you should be going for Netflix and Chill anyways... invite them over and offer to cook for them.


Honestly I just didn't date...the whole traditional dating scene just wasn't for me... there was about a 99% chance I would want to leave within the first 5 min of the "date" anyways... 50% chance I would depending on if she picked her phone up or not during the "date"... and a 25% chance I would attempt to get her to come back to my place before food was ordered..

Worked 60% of the time...everytime!!

[nyjets88]

Plan ahead, eat as healthy as you can when you go out, drink in moderation, and don't get serious with anyone who isn't into a healthy lifestyle

[BieberFeverBrah]

You could do what I do, disregard dating and try your best to get some homo action in the gym locker room.

(No homo)

[otakutrevan]

Drink mixed drinks with diet coke. Jack and Diet Coke/Coke Zero is my go to.

When they go out and eat **** plan ahead. Fast that day, or eat something sensible when you get there.


Its really not hard.

[newmemberforlif]

Get one light drink or beer and drink it slowly. Or tell them you don't really drink a lot. If they get all rude and judgemental or joke around, just play it off and switch subjects. I'm guessing you want a girl with the same values as you? I don't drink a lot so I prefer a gf that doesn't get wasted every weekend

[Nate the Snake]

take them out to a bar and drink water. bring them to a restaurant and eat a salad. fast all day the IIFYM a chitty meal with them. shouldn't be that hard

I think I might start packing a huge met rx bar with me before dates.

[anonymous]

I think I might start packing a huge met rx bar with me before dates.

Why not just carry a mixed up protein shake, nothing cooler than a dude who brings his own meal to restaurant!

[Nate the Snake]

I'm in a very similar position OP, best bet is to realize that weight and appearance are not important. You are going to have to come to the conclusion that you workout, eat mostly clean foods, you can eat out and still eat clean mostly. Don't drink, just order unsweet tea or something. You have genetics that naturally want you to store more fat than others, which is why you can't eat out all the time and still look like a beast like some, lifes not fair.

You can't date people for appearance, you can smash for appearance, but you don't date people because of how they look, or at least if you want a healthy relationship you don't.

Dude, Im going to admit something that I will be completely flammed for: I LIFT FOR WOMEN...PERIOD. Until about a few months ago, hot women would not so much as even look in my direction. However, now Im actually able to pull some women hottness level 7.5 to 8.5. THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. My goal is to get to 10% bf, get larger arms, and a v shaped back. Then I bet I can pull hotties left and right. Im shallow, and Ive come to accept it.

[sam21avery]

You don't.


In reality, as a woman who lifts, I might look better than most women... but at the end of the day, I intimidate men too much to get dates.

What a sad life.

[Nate the Snake]

Just adjust your diet on date days so that the food fits into your macros or order something light like a salad with chicken breast.

I always eat light on first dates. The women I go out with find it attractive that I'm so into my nutrition. I don't really see how this is a problem. A little planning goes a long way. If she survives the first date, plan the next one on your cheat day. Fixed

Ive played with my diet a lot. Maybe every now and then (once a week), I can eat a pizza, and can make up for it later in the week. If I get trashed on alcohol (for some reason) it takes me two weeks to recover from it. When I say I gain weight easily, I f*cking mean it.

[anonymous]

Dude, Im going to admit something that I will be completely flammed for: I LIFT FOR WOMEN...PERIOD. Until about a few months ago, hot women would not so much as even look in my direction. However, now Im actually able to pull some women hottness level 7.5 to 8.5. THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE. My goal is to get to 10% bf, get larger arms, and a v shaped back. Then I bet I can pull hotties left and right. Im shallow, and Ive come to accept it.

Yeah I went through that phase also, it doesn't last very long, you'll find they're not worth it. But, I hope you find what you're looking for man.

If you equate your value as a person and base your happiness on what other people think of you, you will never know happiness.

[Nate the Snake]

I think what he's getting at is having multiple dates a week or getting into a relationship with someone who doesn't value nutrition / exercise as intently as he does. I actually got called a girl on two dates because I ordered a salad. I know I've made almost all of the dates I've been on feel uncomfortable because I talk a lot about my diet / nutrition and how I've lost 200 lbs etc... They usually end up getting kind of defensive and start talking about how they plan to get back in shape but they have too many responsibilities etc, I've learned it's best not to go there.

Lol I cant win either way; when I was fat and let myself go, and ate whatever I wanted, I was called a fata$$. At this point, I literally count every last calorie. Even, if I do much as drink a glass of tea, its gets caculated. It is what I must do to look good.

Oh and speaking of your salad comment, I must eat it with red wine, oils, or vinagrette. Eating ranch or blue cheese is so calorie packed, and filled with unhealthy fat that, I cant even eat it without gaining weight.

[NitrogenWidget]

Ive been at this bodybuilding thing for about two years now and have lost a whopping 90 lbs. Training and dieting has opened up the door to many more women, as I was gelatinously fat and ugly before.

That being said, now dating has become difficult because I live in the south and all people want to do here is drink and eat unhealthy fried foods.As I have progressed through my training and weight loss, I have to eat stricter and stricter and train harder and harder to see anymore progress.

My issue is that most women in my town want me to take them to really unhealthy restaurants, and drinking is a huge past time here. I pretty much can hardly ever drink because I gain weight easily and it makes my weight skyrocket. Advice?

How do the women stay skinny?
Or are you dating bigger gals?

It isn't that hard unless you are serial dating multiple women every day of the week you shouldn't be spending so much time with a woman that it affects your goals.

Also how do you "gain weight really fast" when you drink?
You lost 90lbs.
you should know it isn't the booze that makes you gain weight really fast, it's the crap food you scarf down when drunk.
adjust cals for the day.

[Teague242]

I was in the same boat... But I found a girl who understands...

Explain your dieting and training habits to the girl. It she doesn't respect that then move on to the next one.

[anonymous]

Lol I cant win either way; when I was fat and let myself go, and ate whatever I wanted, I was called a fata$$. At this point, I literally count every last calorie. Even, if I do much as drink a glass of tea, its gets caculated. It is what I must do to look good.

Oh and speaking of your salad comment, I must eat it with red wine, oils, or vinagrette. Eating ranch or blue cheese is so calorie packed, and filled with unhealthy fat that, I cant even eat it without gaining weight.

You need to start seeing a shrink and a nutritionist, you have exactly the same problem I had bro... You're gonna be ok, and you will find your way out of this one day, but there's going to be a lot of emotional growth in your near future. It's an eating disorder.

I lost 200 lbs in 2 years and when I finally got begged by my family and co-workers to stop I was not even close to happy. I was convinced that I needed to keep cutting and I was wondering why I was always tired, weak, cold, feeling sick, my junk stopped working completely... I was not at all happy, but I was determined to get ripped 6 pack abs and get women to flock to me...

What happened instead was I got a lot of new attention, but none of these girls wanted to date me anyway, I got told I looked frail, sick, and weak... I was weak... I couldn't squat more than 100 lbs and I couldn't press more than the bar...

I started seeing a nutritionist and shrink and after 6 months they caused me to gain 30 lbs and I was literally having panic attacks and hated them and my family. I've only recently started to develop a healthy relationship with food, and I still struggle daily not to micromanage every calorie and get perfect macros, and I've had to stop looking at myself in the mirror / weighing myself every day... It's been a nightmare of a journey, but I'm feeling SO much better than I was, and I'm not even out of the woods yet.

But yeah, I seriously encourage you to seek professional help.

[Nate the Snake]

Unfortunately this does happen when you change your appearance dramatically and adopt a bodybuilding lifestyle.

Then you realize that the same people who eat clean and share your lifestyle include about 1% of the population, and usually they are not the best relationship partners. Thus you find someone who eats and trains like you do, but they are narcissistic, fitness models taking millions of selfies on IG/ escorting, bodybuilder men doing gay for pay.

If you move to a more fitness oriented area like San Diego it gets easier.

Well Im not quite bodybuilder status yet but Ive progressed immensely. Ive gone from 265 lbs with 43% bf and a 48 inch waist to 175 lbs with 20% bf and and 34 inch waist. Its great progress but Im not quite there yet.

I wish I could hurry up and get u guy's level because I think then I could pull hot women that are into the same fitness lifestyle, because they are really hot and they would understand my food and lifestyle choices.

[NitrogenWidget]

Lol I cant win either way; when I was fat and let myself go, and ate whatever I wanted, I was called a fata$$. At this point, I literally count every last calorie. Even, if I do much as drink a glass of tea, its gets caculated. It is what I must do to look good.

Oh and speaking of your salad comment, I must eat it with red wine, oils, or vinagrette. Eating ranch or blue cheese is so calorie packed, and filled with unhealthy fat that, I cant even eat it without gaining weight.

You sound like you have an eating disorder.
sorry but the rules of the universe don't bend because you got drunk one night out of the week or had a cheat meal.

[Nate the Snake]

Get healthier options when you go out to eat or when you drink, drink vodka. Understand that most people, especially girls, don't live the lifestyle you live and make it work. If you don't want to get something unhealthy when you go on a date, then don't get something unhealthy. That being said, a lot of girls think you're obsessive/narcissistic if you go on a date and don't get something "normal" to eat.

Lol how on earth will they think Im narcicistic? Ive been told, "I eat like a girl" but never that Im narcisistic.

[anonymous]

How do the women stay skinny?
Or are you dating bigger gals?

It isn't that hard unless you are serial dating multiple women every day of the week you shouldn't be spending so much time with a woman that it affects your goals.

Also how do you "gain weight really fast" when you drink?
You lost 90lbs.
you should know it isn't the booze that makes you gain weight really fast, it's the crap food you scarf down when drunk.
adjust cals for the day.

Women stay skinny cause all they gota do is cardio and restrict calories, which we all know leaves you skinny fat, which looks fine on women... As a man, you gota develop LBM and then maintain it, which means you have to maintain certain macros and you can't just cut calories. So, " cheat " meals are almost impossible to work around unless you're bulking.

Say you're on a cut, and you're eating say 2300 calories a day. You eat your normal daily calories and then you hit it off with this tinder chick during the day, setup a drink date for that night after the gym. Well, by the time you get done with the gym, you've got 600 calories left for the day and you need 60 grams of protein and say 40 grams of fat. This would allow you to have a 10oz sirloin with some butter and that's it... You can't get anything more than a side salad but no dressing, nothing to drink or not. So, yes, you can make that work but you're still going to look weird, and that's assuming you have 600 calories left, I've had situations where I had like 300 calories left and the only thing I could eat was 2 chicken breast and some cheese.

[Nate the Snake]

You don't.


In reality, as a woman who lifts, I might look better than most women... but at the end of the day, I intimidate men too much to get dates.

What a sad life.

Are you muscular and dont have a feminine physique and that scares guys away, or do you have such a nice looking physique that men think they wouldnt have a chance with?

[anonymous]

Lol how on earth will they think Im narcicistic? Ive been told, "I eat like a girl" but never that Im narcisistic.

Women have the expectation that you are a "man" which means you don't give a crap what you eat, and you just look like that because you go to the "gym and lift"... In truth, we work our asses off and have to micro manage our diets more strictly than they do. If you do this though, then they shame you because you're just a narcissist and too into yourself. Like I said, you can't win with these chicks and you shouldn't even try, they're so insecure with themselves they're just broken.