He is under a great amount of stress right now and I really dont know what to do. Right now he is working in a place where he is very unhappy and its really wearing on him. He is about to change gyms (he's a personal trainer) but that seems to be stressing him out more. Its really wearing on both of us because im home all day watching our son and when hes home he is just irritated about everything and on me. I know its because of the stress but he wont talk with me about it so I dont know how to make it better. I have noticed his training has really backed off and im wondering if he is even working out now. We are going out of town this weekend alone without our son but im afraid he will just be all buisness the whole time. How can I help him? I feel if things dont get better we are both going to lose it.
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05-13-2008, 02:01 PM #1
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 300
- Rep Power: 234
How can I get my husband to relax?
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05-13-2008, 02:02 PM #2
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05-13-2008, 02:08 PM #3
- Join Date: Jan 2008
- Location: Buffalo, New York, United States
- Age: 45
- Posts: 154
- Rep Power: 204
I dont know if he likes to golf, or something along that line, but set him up a T-off time. Let him get out of the house with a few friends and just blow off some steem. He might be no working out because of the stess of work, being a trainer I would think that if you hated your job and it was working out, that you would in theroy hate working out.
Find something he really likes to do or maybe the two of you go out for and eveing of romance, get someone to watch the kids dinner and a movie, followed by a seyx meeting at a hotel. But dont be yourself on that night, get wild get creative, even roll play.
The point is to take him out of his daily routine, break it up and get his mind off work and the kids and everything. Just go let his hair down and dont bring up work if he wants to let him but dont try to provoke it sometimes men just need to deal with it on thier own and know that no matter what you will have our backs."As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest motherf*cker in the valley"
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05-13-2008, 02:11 PM #4
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05-13-2008, 02:12 PM #5
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 300
- Rep Power: 234
Well he loves golf but honestly I feel im doing a pretty good job of letting him out with his friends. He plays softball 4 nights a week right now.. YES 4 lol. so I feel like he is never really home. He works until 7 or 8 at night and then goes and plays. He plays all day on Saturdays and the nights hes home he is on the computer working. Honestly I just feel a little pushed aside but I will try your ideas this weekend and see how it goes. Thanks!
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05-13-2008, 02:14 PM #6
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05-13-2008, 02:17 PM #7
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05-13-2008, 02:21 PM #8
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05-13-2008, 02:38 PM #9
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05-13-2008, 02:41 PM #10
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05-13-2008, 02:45 PM #11
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 300
- Rep Power: 234
Haha yeah. Thanks again. I guess things have changed a lot for us the past four years. We use to travel and have so much fun. Its amazing what jobs and a baby does to your relationship. Im just glad I will have some time with him all to myself.
Do you think I should be worried because he doesnt spend any time at home with me? Or do you think its just the stress? He just seems so distant. I guess im just reading a lot more into it because I feel left out.
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05-13-2008, 02:46 PM #12
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05-13-2008, 02:52 PM #13
Trust your instincts Amber...you have a baby and he's out 4 nights a week. You're worried about how to make him feel better? Sounds like you 2 need a serious sit down (if the blow job doesn't work).
But seriously, if there's a voice telling you it's more, listen to it, because it's never too late to get things under control and fix them.
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05-13-2008, 02:59 PM #14
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 300
- Rep Power: 234
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05-13-2008, 05:07 PM #15
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05-13-2008, 05:09 PM #16
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05-13-2008, 05:17 PM #17
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05-13-2008, 05:52 PM #18
I agree here too. You show up dressed in one of his ties and give him mind blowing BJ finishing the job right and he is still out 4 nights a week then you need to do some serious heart to heart.
I get to play basketball like one night a week sometimes two during the season and well my a$$ better be home and at a decent time. If I was out 4 nights it would quickly turn into 7 when my key did not work anymore.
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05-13-2008, 05:53 PM #19
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05-13-2008, 06:40 PM #20
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05-13-2008, 06:55 PM #21
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05-13-2008, 06:56 PM #22
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05-13-2008, 08:14 PM #23
I'm a 23 year old guy so take this with a grain of salt. But, I'd say if he is spending four nights a week away from family and when he is home he is on the computer. I'd say there is more going on. That is the first impression I got, when I read it, and usually my first impressions are dead on. It just seems like everything else is coming first. I understand working hard to provide for your family, but playing four nights a week isn't exactly that. Just my opinion. Hope it helps.
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05-13-2008, 08:19 PM #24
- Join Date: Jan 2008
- Location: Buffalo, New York, United States
- Age: 45
- Posts: 154
- Rep Power: 204
Honestly let him know that it bothers you that he is gone so much. Explian that you want to understand and he should talk to you.
If he says nothings wrong, leave it at that. I suppose the BJ option is there, you could meet him at the door, push him against it tell him how much you missed him being there, drop to yoru knees and show him.
Honestly it could be any number of things. Yes him running around might be one, but if you feel solid its not then dont worry about it. Stress at work, then coming home to a house full. Maybe he feels he is failing at his job. I have had my share of down weeks and months.
Try a weekend get away just the two of you, i think time alone would do you both some good. Sounds like you both need a break honestly"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest motherf*cker in the valley"
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05-13-2008, 08:30 PM #25
- Join Date: Jun 2006
- Location: Nashville, Tennessee, United States
- Age: 39
- Posts: 300
- Rep Power: 234
Yeah you have no idea. We only have one little boy and he goes down at 6:30 so I find myself so bored at night and I just wish he would be home on time. I guess im kinda venting on here because I dont know how to talk with him about it because he is well hes just so hard to talk to.
We are going to Charleston this weekend. So I am hoping he will find time for me then. I feel bad because he works so much and I stay at home. I think he is a little resentful but he has no idea what all I do around the house.. anyway vent over. I will talk with him and im sure everything will workout. Thanks for your advice.
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05-13-2008, 08:35 PM #26
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05-13-2008, 09:49 PM #27
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05-13-2008, 09:52 PM #28
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05-13-2008, 10:03 PM #29
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05-13-2008, 10:04 PM #30
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