The INNER SELF IMPROVEMENT MEGATHREAD

[ACslatering]

As promised ages back - Here's my self improvement thread!
This will also contain my method of beating non clinical/medicated depression. Enjoy and feel free to add what you have.

[ACslatering]

Cliffnotes to Dale Carnegie's - How to win friends and influence people

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Part Two
Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Part Four
Be a Leader
How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

[user437490845hjgf]

I got diagnosed with depression, OCD, ADD, and GAD when I was 17.

My parents used to make me see social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists, and GP's. I was put on Xanax, Zoloft, and Metadait.

My advice: Don't bother with the medications. Get the idea that "theres something wrong with me" out of your head. You are in complete control of your own emotions, you don't need to be dependent on a drug. The more you think you have a problem, the worse off you're going to be. It's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Most of these mental disorders have little to no rock solid scientific evidence to support them, and so many people are misdiagnosed everyday.

Most people just need to get "outside" of their head.

[ACslatering]

Cliffnotes: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Part One
Fundamental facts you should know about worry

1. If you want to avoid worry, do what Sir William Osler did: Live in "day-tight compartments." Don't stew about the futures. Just live each day u ntil bedtime.
2. The next time Trouble--with a Capital T--backs you up in a corner, try the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier:
1. Ask yourself, "What is the worst that can possibly happen if I can't solve my problem?
2. Prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst--if necessary.
3. Then calmly try to improve upon the worst--which you have already mentally agreed to accept.
3. Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry in terms of your health. "Those who do not know how to fight worry die young."

Part Two
Basic techniques in analyzing worry

1. Get the facts. Remember that Dean Hawkes of Columbia University said that "half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision."
2. After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
3. Once a decision is carefully reached, act! Get busy carrying out your decision--and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.
4. When you, or any of your associates, are tempted to worry about a problem, write out and answer the following questions:
1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?

Part Three
How to break the worry habit before it breaks you

1. Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing "wibber gibbers."
2. Don't fuss about trifles. Don't permit little things--the mere termites of life--to ruin your happines.
3. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: "What are the odds against this thing's happening at all?"
4. Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself: "It is so; it cannot be otherwise."
5. Put a "stop-less" order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth--and refuse to give it anymore.
6. Let the past bury its dead. Don't saw sawdust.

Part Four
Seven ways to cultivate a mental attitude that will bring you peace and happiness

1. Let's fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for "our life is what our thoughts make it."
2. Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.
3.
1. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day--and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
2. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude--but to give for the joy of giving.
3. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
4. Count your blessings--not your troubles!
5. Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves, for "envy is ignorance" and "imitation is suicide."
6. When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.
7. Let's forget our own unhappiness--by trying to create a little happiness for others. "When you are good to others, you are best to yourself."

Part Five
The perfect way to conquer worry

1. Prayer

Part Six
How to keep from worrying about criticism

1. Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. It often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.
2. Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.
3. Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticize ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E.H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

Part Seven
Six ways to prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirits high

1. Rest before you get tired.
2. Learn to relax at your work.
3. Learn to relax at home.
4. Apply these four good workings habits:
1. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
2. Do things in the order of their importance.
3. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.
4. Learn to organize, deputize, and supervise.
5. To prevent worry and fatigue, put enthusiasm into your work.
6. Remember, no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. It is worrying about insomnia that does the damage--not the insomnia.

[timhsvwalkinsha]

Originally Posted by AcEReconA

Most of these mental disorders have little to no rock solid scientific evidence to support them, and so many people are misdiagnosed everyday.

Most people just need to get "outside" of their head.

No rock solid scientific evidence - ummm have you even looked? If you did it was miserable failure.

[ACslatering]

Cliffnotes: The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking

Part One
Fundamentals of Effective Speaking
1. Acquiring the Basic Skills

* Take heart from the experience of others
* Keep your goal before you
* Predetermine your mind to success
* Seize every opportunity to practice

2. Developing Confidence

* Get the facts about fear of speaking in public
* Prepare in the proper way
* Predetermine your mind to success
* Act confident

3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way

* Speaking about something you have earned the right to talk about through experience or study
* Be sure you are excited about your subject
* Be eager to share your talk with your listeners

Part Two
Speech, Speaker, and Audience
4. Earning the Right to Talk

* Limit your subject
* Develop reserve power
* Fill your talk with illustrations and examples
* Use concrete, familiar words that create pictures

5. Vitalizing the Talk

* Choose subjects you are earnest about
* Relive the Feelings you have about your topic
* Act in earnest

6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience

* Talk in terms of your listeners' interests
* Give honest, sincere appreciation
* Identify yourself with the audience
* Make your audience a partner in your talk
* Play yourself down

Part Three
The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks
7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action

* Give your example, an incident from your life
* State your point, what you want the audience to do
* Give the reason or benefit the audience may expect

8. Making the Talk to Inform

* Restrict your subject to fit the time at your disposal
* Arrange your ideas in sequence
* Enumerate your points as you make them
* Compare the strange with the familiar
* Use visual aids

9. Making the Talk to Convince

* Win confidence by deserving it
* Get a Yes-response
* Speakin with contagious enthusiasm
* Show respect and affection for your audience
* Begin in a friendly way

10. Making Impromptu Talks

* Practice impromptu speaking
* Be mentally ready to speak impromptu
* Get into an example immediately
* Speak with animation and force
* Use the principle of the Here and the Now
* Don't talk impromptu--Give an impromptu talk

Part Four
The Art of Communicating
11. Delivering the Talk

* Crash through your shell of self-consciousness
* Don't try to imitate others--Be yourself
* Converse with your audience
* Put your heart into your speaking
* Practice making your voice strong and flexible

Part Five
The Challenge of Effective Speaking
12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and Accepting Awards

* Thoroughly prepare what you are going to say
* Follow the T-I-S Formula
* Be enthusiastic
* Thoroughly prepare the talk of presentation
* Express your sincere feelings in the talk of acceptance

13. Organizing the Longer Talk

* Get attention immediately
* Avoid getting unfavorable attention
* Support your main ideas
* Appeal for action

14. Applying What You Have Learned

* Use specific detail in everyday conversation
* Use effective speaking techniques in your job
* Seek Opportunities to speak in public
* You must persist
* Keep the certainty of reward before you

[KennyK]

ACSlatering is a megathread makin mofo!


my .02 . Don't put too much stock in the past and don't overanalyze the future.

When you're presented with an issue, no matter how big, it can always be broken down into simpler components.

do that and the problem won't seem so big.

[RS_MTB]

I attended a 10 (or 12) week "Dale C." public speaking class.
Was better than I thought...

Some people in there REALLY improved in speaking.

[The-Stig]

- Always, and I mean ALWAYS look your best. Take great care of your appearance and the rewards are abundant. Your chances of being selected for a job increase dramatically just by your appearance. That does not mean show up to a job interview for a brain surgeon in an Armani suit when you barely passed high school.

- There is not a single person in this world that you are better than. Everyone is equal and your money, education and intelligence will mean nothing if you can not respect and treat every individual like they are your equals.

- Provide honest and sincere help to people when they are down. They will never forget your deed and will bend over backwards when repaying back.

- Buy your friend dinner just because he/she is your friend. Expect nothing in return.

- Enjoy life, travel the world, meet new people. There is more out there to see than we possibly can in a lifetime.

[ACslatering]

Guide to beating depression [rough draft will clean up]

Intro:
Now for those that don't have depression at some time or the other, they'd most likely pass it off as being sad, or a state of mind that can be easily taken care of. Its far from the case.

Without playing "I was more depressed than you" with everyone in the misc let me try to disolve some myths without going into what I went through.

A) For a majority of depressed people - it isn't due to a neurological imbalance. Most likely some action of events in ones life led them to their current state of mind. So for most cases - depression can't be solved with medication.

Now, I'm not ruling out clinical depression - I understand that there are a majority that do have a condition that needs to be treated with medication. But i'm not going to deal with that in this post.

Also as the misc demands cliffnotes - I'll try to make it as brief and to the point as possible.

The Guide!
1) Understand that depression is causing you more harm than good. It's a problem that needs to be solved.

Now I spoke to councilors, I tried talking it out with friends but none of it helped. It got so bad that I was digging my own grave, and the walls were caving in. So one has to take the first steps themselves.

- So identifying the fact that it needs to be dealt with is the first step.

2) Identify whats causing your depression
As cliche as this sounds, its best to jot down all thats wrong in your life onto a piece of paper that you'll be referring to for a while. Go all out because you will be the only one reading it.

- Identify events that took you a step closer to your current state of mind
- Reasons why its getting worse
- Bad habbits that have been adopted because of this (i.e. antisocial behavious, drugs, wrong crowd of friends, not going to class, not giving a damn, reckless careless behaviour to your own well being)

3) Forming a 'Proactive' plan towards a solution

This is the hard part.
Here we focus on the list and think of solutions to those problems. Its not easy. The reason one may be so depressed may be because the solution isn't an obvious one and nor is it easy.

Take a college student that's on the verge of dropping out/ changing majors because he can't cope.

Now this guy can't just write down - will study, will make it through, the weekend before his finals.
An active step has to be taken to better understand why the problem is a proble and how it can be solved. So for the most part, he should try asking around, seeing what he has to do to make it through his courses, how should he study, when should he study and whats keeping him from studying. Games, socializing, partying etc etc - its all there, its not going to mysteriously freaking disapear - so perhaps organizing a timetable, a routine of what needs to be done when and then trying to allocate events, deadlines should get the guy started. But its not the complete solution. This is just the baby steps needed to get the ball rolling on an incline slope. This guy will still have to keep on trucking to get out of the whole he dug for himself.

What I'm trying to get at is the solution isn't a quick fix, but more of an active step in the right direction to get out of a current predicament. The proposed solution to a problem will have to be refined many times and one has to realize that the journey will be hard.

4) Focus on illiminating bad habbits.
Now even identifying all of them is hard enough. Who woud think that surfing the misc all night is a bad habbit? Back in the day I'd be online from 11pm - 7am and then sleep all day. Wake up and hop on the misc - repeat. This was during my lowest point of depression back in '06. Or what about not waking up late? Could that be a serious bad habbit? Its funny - that these bad habbits are what eat away at our time which we need the most to acheive our goals.

5) Set Goals for the long term
Now take say a college super nerd. I found this guy and asked him what the hell he does to make his grades. This guy tells me he doesn't study much at night - maybe for a couple of hrs in the evening - does jack all from say 9 - 11, then he just goes to sleep. Now get this. He told me he woke up at 5 every morning to study so that by 9 o'clock he'd have at least 4 hrs of study done before anyone else had woken up. He'd study in between classes and at most 2-3 hrs after class but he keeps it up. This guy essentially said that he wanted to top all his classes from day one. And he continuously refined his goals over and over again to ensure it stayed that way.

Now - fine we can consider that guy a super nerd but none of want to be that guy. But yet when I was in college, i'd do everything i wanted to do, watch tv, bother the ladies down the hall, play pool, pre and post workout bumming around in the gym, etc - and when i got back home i'd begin my work at around 11-12. So that right there was a number of bad habbits which i thought were harmless - yet it was eating away at my time.

To sum things up
- So eliminate your bad habits, identify how they eat away at your time and allocate that time towards a goal to that will take you a step closer to beating depression
- set reasonable goals to strive for - to better your current position,

e.g. workouts, study habbits, career development, social development etc etc ..

Well i'm sure the above is filled with typo's but i'll clean it up. Hopefully this may have been useful to some members.

[ACslatering]

Oh and hold up:

where the hell is sauce head's sticky?

original thread: http://forums.bleachportal.net/archi...hp/t-3342.html
Lesson summaries : http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...ight=saucehead

Whether you believe in the dying PUA hype or not - his threads motivated the hell outta the misc back in the day.

Man i remember there was a thread back in the day with all this stuff.






The confidence thread
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...ight=saucehead

[importrev]

Originally Posted by timhsvwalkinsha

No rock solid scientific evidence - ummm have you even looked? If you did it was miserable failure.

yes neurotramistters do dictate directly with how you feel but alot of times, just tlaking with a paitent and diagnosing them is complete bull****. I have ocd which drains all my energy and makes me depressed. I got diagnosed with major depression because my energy levels were low. BASED ON ENERGY LEVELS?!?!!

i've had days where i wake up and feel completely hopeless. and then there are people that commit sucide because of depression.

lacking energy is far from "major depression". what sucks is that now this "diagnosis" is going to stay on my record for lfie

[CTpump]

Originally Posted by KennyK

ACSlatering is a megathread makin mofo!


my .02 . Don't put too much stock in the past and don't overanalyze the future.

When you're presented with an issue, no matter how big, it can always be broken down into simpler components.

do that and the problem won't seem so big.

Gotta give the dude some credit.

Best thing is to stay focused on today and not sweat the small stuff

This is a worthwhile megathread anyway

[user437490845hjgf]

Originally Posted by timhsvwalkinsha

No rock solid scientific evidence - ummm have you even looked? If you did it was miserable failure.

Let's see some evidence of these so called "chemical imbalances" that you hear so much about in the SSRI commercials.

Do you realize how many people are misdiagnosed everyday? I was diagnosed with all the above disorders after a 20 part questionaire. (no thread hijack)

[ACslatering]

Conflict Resolution

Proven Techniques

fightingcouple.jpgArguing with your spouse? Feuding with your boss? Fighting with your parents or teachers? Adopt a new frame of mind and try solving that dispute one more time.

As a team leader for a large software organization, I sometimes had to help feuding teammates settle an argument. Over the years, I taught my teammates 7 tried and true conflict resolution techniques (some invented, others learned) — and the good news is that you can use these techniques to settle your own arguments, at work or at home.

Each of the 7 techniques below provides a separate and unique frame of mind with which to approach the steps of conflict resolution.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #1: The Observer

Imagine yourself as an observer of the argument instead of a participant. Analyze your own position in the argument as if from the outside looking in. Find a room where you can be alone and write a short paragraph expressing each person’s point of view, including your own – these paragraphs are for your eyes only.

Acting as a dispassionate observer will help you understand the goals of every party involved in the dispute.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #2: The Doppelganger

Temporarily become your opponent. Put yourself in his shoes, internalizing the logic of his argument until you can feel it. If you are unable to create an emotional connection to your opponent’s point of view, at least attempt to supplant your own logic with his.

Your goal is not to become subservient to your opponent’s cause (not at all), but rather to understand and empathize with him so you will be more capable of understanding his needs as you work to address your own.

Tip: If you find yourself unable to truly understand your opponents’ point of view while using the Observer or Doppelganger techniques, try asking your friends or family to help you. Their natural reaction may be to take your side in the argument, so make sure you tell them you’re not looking for sympathy – you’re looking for help understanding a perspective other than your own.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #3: The Common Thread

You and your opponent may seem to disagree on everything under the sun, but look hard to find an element of the debate you agree upon. See if a solution can be reached that uses common ground as a foundation.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #4: Low Hanging Fruit

If you and your opponent have multiple disputes, resolve the easiest ones first. This will build an atmosphere of trust and accomplishment that will help you resolve tougher disputes.

magnifying.jpg

Technique #5: The Psychologist

Often in personal relationships (and sometimes in professional ones too), people argue about one thing, when the real cause of the argument is some other unspoken thing. For example, a married couple might argue about who will wash the dishes when the underlying problem is that someone in the relationship feels under-appreciated or taken for granted.

If you suspect there is an underlying cause for the argument, you can short-circuit the entire debate by attacking the underlying cause directly. Be calm and understanding, as the underlying cause is clearly a hot-button subject.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #6: The Robot

If you’re too emotional to work out a solution, try turning your heated emotions completely off (which may take time and distance). The key here is using logic in place of emotion, and it’s a helpful technique when emotion is a significant barrier.

magnifying.jpgTechnique #7: The Overflowing Cup

If you have a lot of positive history with a person, you may be able to focus on the positive feelings you have for that person instead of the negative feelings associated with this specific dispute. Use those positive feelings as an impetus for a solution. This technique can be helpfulwhen both parties recognize that the underlying relationship is more important than the argument at hand.

These 7 simple conflict resolution techniques cannot make the core components of an argument any simpler, but they do provide helpful frames of mind that can make it easier to find a solution.

The best technique to use will vary depending upon your own comfort level with the technique, the general environment, and the nature of the argument you’re trying to resolve.

For example, I have found the Observer and Doppelganger techniques incredibly helpful in team-oriented work environments where multiple points of view must be reconciled before the team can move forward (ie software development).

And if you find yourself arguing a lot with a spouse or friend over petty things, try using the Psychologist technique because there may be a deeper problem brooding beneath the surface.

Each of these techniques has helped me, and I’m hopeful you will find something in this list that will help you the next time you need to resolve a tough conflict.

[ACslatering]

11 Causes and Cures for Procrastination

I wanted to write an article on procrastination, but kept putting it off.

The irony is obvious, but what’s not obvious is why I put it off. So I’ll tell you why — because my life (like yours) is jammed full of responsibilities.

We juggle our jobs, children, marriages, aging parents, and household chores. We pay bills, do laundry, clean the house, and mow the lawn. We battle traffic, buy groceries, and negotiate with associates.

And in the midst of all this chaos, we convince ourselves that none of our varied obligations is so pressing as to require our time right now. In other words, procrastination’s short-term benefit is a feeling of control and peace. We tell ourselves, “I’ll do the laundry tomorrow. Right now, my life is right as rain, and I’m taking a break, thank you very much.”

So take a break. There’s nothing wrong with taking time to read a book, watch television, or chill in your favorite chair while the sun sets outside your beautiful picture window. Just be aware that the feel-good benefits of procrastination can quickly erode into panic.

You’re looking for the sweet spot between procrastination and frenzy, the magic pace at which the assembly line of your life runs smoothly.

Here are 11 common causes of procrastination and corresponding tips to help you find the pace you’re looking for:

* Complicated-task anxiety: Break big, complicated tasks into smaller pieces. Complete a starter task, no matter how small.
* Fear of imperfection: Accept that perfection is rarely attainable and seldom necessary. You’re a person, not a robot. Use the 80/20 rule whenever appropriate.
* Indecision: Determine your decision-making criteria, then set a deadline for your decision. Ask a friend to hold you accountable.
* Priority confusion: Distinguish obligations from options. What are you really responsible for? List and prioritize tasks.
* Boredom from minutiae: Automate simple repetitive tasks whenever possible.
* Lack of focus: Minimize distractions. Check e-mail and voicemail only twice per day instead of every 5 minutes. Find a quiet room where you can concentrate. Resist the urge to keep taking breaks.
* Poor organizational skills: Clean your work area. Put tools and utensils in their proper place so you can find them when you need them.
* Laziness: Remind yourself of the consequences of procrastination. Resist the urge to be a couch potato. Try to complete several small tasks to provide a feeling of accomplishment. Reward yourself.
* Lack of energy: Maintain a regular sleep routine. Eat healthy. Exercise regularly. Do not skip breakfast.
* Early morning lag: Before you stop working each day, make a list of the tasks you want to begin first thing the following morning so you can hit the ground running the next day.
* Post-lunch fatigue: Before leaving for lunch, make a list of the things you plan to do when you get back so you can pick up where you left off. Avoid eating a heavy lunch.

In case you’re wondering, I kept putting off this article because I lacked focus. I finally decided to follow my own advice, shut my office door, stop checking email, and make myself write. As usual, starting was the hardest part.

By taking time to understand your own reasons for putting things off and devoting energy to moving forward, you too can beat procrastination.
StumbleUpon It!

[ACslatering]

Tyler Durden's Top 5 Tips for Living

Tyler Durden’s Top 5 Tips for Living

Being a typical Generation X male, it’s no wonder I’ve always loved the movie Fight Club. Here we have Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden, all lean muscle and crazy blue eyes, smiling like a shark, raging against the great dark plagues of his generation:

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy [things] we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history… No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war… our great depression is our lives.

Tyler was insane, of course – anyone who has seen the movie instantly understands that emulating Tyler Durden would involve psychosis, a padded cell, or life in prison, but that’s not really the point.

The point is that Tyler Durden symbolizes our outrage against the darker version of the American Dream: the endless parade of television commercials, consumerism, and materialism; the lack of meaning and purpose; the rat race; the great spiritual vacuum.

I do not pretend to be an expert on David Fincher’s remarkable movie or the Chuck Palahniuk novel from which it sprang, nor will I attempt to examine Fight Club’s themes comprehensively. I’m just a fan of the movie. Nothing more. And this is my attempt to capture what I affectionately call Tyler Durden’s Tips for Living: filtered for sanity and common sense by yours truly and brought to you in Tyler’s (or his alter ego’s) own words.

1. Don’t be a Mindless Consumer

We’re consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.

The people I know who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue. You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you’re satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you’ve got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you’re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

You are not your job. You are not how much money you have in the bank.

You are not the car you drive.

Reject… the importance of material possessions.

2. Do Something Meaningful

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.

Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments?

What would you wish you’d done before you died? You have to know the answer to this question!

If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?

3. Think for Yourself

Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want?

4. Transcend Temporary, Unfulfilling Relationships

Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They’re single-serving friends.

5. The Path to Enlightenment is Hard Work

I don’t wanna die without any scars.

Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a… seminar.

Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.

And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.

It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.

Ironically, Tyler himself would hate having his knowledge pre-packaged as a self-help article, as he suggests in this slightly modified quotation:

Maybe self-improvement isn’t the answer…. Maybe self-destruction is the answer.

But thankfully for me, Tyler’s a fictional character (in more ways than one), and is unlikely to show up on my front stoop bloody-knuckled and ready to brawl. And to be honest, this isn’t really Tyler Durden’s Tips for Living. It’s a list of tips derived from Fight Club, heavily filtered by my own notions of self-improvement, and dredged for sanity and common sense.

I suppose I could have made this article about 2 pages longer by adding exposition and analysis to Tyler’s quotations, but why? The Internet is already overflowing with such analysis.

Given the tremendous cult-following that this movie enjoys, I’m quite sure someone will pop in here to tell me how I’ve misunderstood the movie or misinterpreted Tyler’s intentions. Fair enough. Just know this: fan of the movie or not, I’m not planning to throw any real-life punches anytime soon, so we’ll have to restrict our debate to the comments section of this Website, if it’s all the same to you.

And for those of you who haven’t seen the movie and who might consider doing so upon my recommendation, know this: the movie is vulgar, violent, sexual, bloody, and brimming with ideas that some people struggle to understand. According to the director, the movie was intended to be like a sharp stick in the eye. And it is.

But for so many members of the lost generation, what a wonderful and welcome stick in the eye it turned out to be.

[ACslatering]

Effective Presentation Techniques

Every once in a while, we are entrusted with the task of presentation. It may be to demo a new product, to present a plan or to explain a new process that you’ve helped create. Whatever the reason and however many presentations you’ve given before, it’s something that not everyone is comfortable doing.

Here are some of the presentation techniques that I’ve learnt in my experience to help you conduct an effective presentation.
Setting the stage

Always start with an intro. Take half a minute to introduce yourself to all the attendees. If the demo is between 2 teams, your team has to be introduced as well, in which case it is better to let everyone introduce themselves. I say a half a minute for each person attending. Same goes for the other team in the room or on the phone or on the screen (video conferencing). This way you set the stage for a collaborative, interactive meeting. I will talk more about this later in this post.

Do a brief intro on the subject of the demo. If you are doing a demo of a new product or an updated version of the product, take a few minutes to talk about the product, its purpose, the business need, etc. Take 3 minutes tops.

Reserve a minute to explain the structure of your presentation. Obviously, you have thought through the topics you will cover, the depth to which you will go, etc. So, don’t keep it a secret; provide a “roadmap”. You don’t want anyone getting lost. It is a good habit to give handouts of this “roadmap” to everyone - a one pager.

Setting the stage should take you around 5 to 10 mins, depending on the number of people attending. I say keep the audience to around 10 people to have an effective presentation, unless of course you are Martin Luther King or Obama.
Force a pause

When you dive into the meat of your presentation, do not talk away as if there is no end. It may sound like you are rambling. You do this maybe because you are fast talker by nature or maybe you’re just plain nervous. In any case, a presentation needs “forced pauses”. To be effective, you have to cultivate this habit. You want to give an opportunity for the audience to digest all the information and think through it for a minute or two. A good practice is to plan your “forced pauses” out such that you can invite questions from your audience.

In the beginning, I know it will be tough to implement this but trust me: you will get used to it.
Don’t do all the talking

Make it interactive. Pass the ball around whenever you can. Let everyone participate. Remember when you attended a demo meeting and hoped no one will notice you dozing off. Well, you did that because you were bored. It is not (always) your fault. I say the presenter made it boring. He or she did not invoke your thoughts and make it interesting enough for you. So, when you are the presenter, please don’t make the same mistake. Let everyone participate. Think of it as a few moments you introduce to help you relax and refocus.
Ice-breakers

The most effective presentations or meetings that I’ve attended were those that were informative and enjoyable at the same time. These are meetings where the presenter or an attendee sneaks in some witty remarks - the ice-breakers.

How many, how often and what kind of jokes you introduce will matter here and if you push it too far over the limit, it can kill your presentation and most likely you would never present again. So, I must warn you that this technique is not for everyone. Its success is very dependent on your wits, the timing, the audience and most importantly your presentation style, which will differ from person to person. But if you can work it, you have a powerful presentation tool.

These are some of the many techniques that will make you an effective presenter. You may already be one or you maybe one in the making. Do send in your comments and share your tips and tricks with the rest of the world. Don’t keep it a secret.

[ACslatering]

July 9th, 2008 Featured in Money
16 Great Personal Finance Resources & Blogs

It’s one of the most common reasons for arguments and divorce in marriages. It can keep us from achieving our dreams, or it can enable us. It can cultivate the worst in people, and it can cultivate the best. Money is one the most fundamental, crude, material parts of our existence, yet we look at it like some kind of metaphysical, unknowable force.

If this describes your relationship with money, it might be time to dedicate some time to improving your knowledge of your finances and set about improving them. You could even make a 30-day trial out of getting a grip on your money. From reducing your debt to automating your tax accounting records, there’s something for every reader.

Get Rich Slowly - JD Roth’s immensely popular blog covers personal finance topics for the everyday individual, by breaking down the world complex and intimidating information so that anyone can understand it. With articles on investing for beginners and money saving tips, Get Rich slowly is also well-known for its reviews of personal finance and money-related books and products. Visit here. http://www.getrichslowly.org/

The Simple Dollar - Trent Hamm’s blog also focuses on breaking down intimidating personal finance topics for everyday people, but it focuses on those who are in massive debt and need to do a complete 360 degree turnaround. If you’re experiencing serious financial difficulty, check out The Simple Dollar and learn from someone who has been there before and done something about it. Visit here. http://www.thesimpledollar.com/

Wise Bread - This community blog features many talented contributors (such as Linsey Knerl, David DeFranza and Andrea Dickson) who share their tips on living frugally. Wise Bread excels at and is best known for providing those handy tips and tricks your grandmother would’ve given you to save a buck—maximizing tight budgets. Frugality is baked into this Wise Bread, and you can check it out here. http://www.wisebread.com/

Investopedia - Forbes’ site is useful for those who are interested in, but totally clueless about, the topic of investing, all the way up to the experts. It features articles, tutorials, tools, reports and simulators and will give you all you need to get started. It’s also got a Community section where you can ask advice from other ordinary people who happen to know a bit about investing (no substitute for professional advice, of course). Take a look here.
http://www.investopedia.com/

AllFinancialMatters - AllFinancialMatters is a blog that covers the gamut of personal finance topics from budgeting to portfolio management. It’s run by a guy called JLP and is a breath of fresh air for me—having spent a lot of time in the blogosphere I know that there aren’t many bloggers who tell it like it is. JLP offers answers to his readers even when they’re not the ones they wanted to hear. Have a read.
http://allfinancialmatters.com/

CNNMoney - Despite belonging to CNN, this subsite is a handy reference for those who need to keep on financial news. Besides, if you’re not keeping up on news at all, this may truly be the one aspect that affects you (unless you’re an athlete or celebrity!) and can give you an upper-hand for financial decision-making. Take a look.
http://money.cnn.com/

Five Cent Nickel - Last time I visited Five Cent Nickel, the story on the frontpage was about rotating your car’s tires in order to make them last longer and hence save money. Beneath that? How to save 5% on gas with a credit card. This is really a blog that endeavors to serve up good info on saving the last penny. Check out this frugal living blog here.
http://www.fivecentnickel.com/

Consumerism Commentary - Consumerism Commentary finds its niche in commentary on financial news (such as whether women find rich men attractive or whether the rich are more stressed) with personal finance tips thrown in between. Take a look here. http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/

Free Money Finance - This blog’s tagline is Grow Your Net Worth and covers all sorts of useful and practical topics. For instance, recently it has looked at what to do about your financial situation when you’ve been laid off until you’ve got a new job, and how to best manage severance packages. Check it out here. http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/

No Credit Needed - the No Credit Needed blog offers more handy advice, and their recent post on the Bills-in-a-Box system for organizing personal finances almost sounded like a Lifehack post. Check it out here. http://www.ncnblog.com/

The Family Wallet - Are you managing the budget for a family or just for yourself? If it’s just you, you might want to move right along, but the Family Wallet is a fantastic blog for those who want family-specific financial ideas and advice. Check it out. http://thefamilywallet.com/

Writing for Your Wealth - This is a pretty new but well-written blog that those interested in passive incomes and working from home may be interested in. Have a look here. http://www.writingforyourwealth.com/

Moolanomy - This personal finance blog is oriented towards wealth building and investing (as opposed to debt reduction, a common focus for blogs in this field) and about creating more money for yourself. It does cover topics such as frugal living, but for inspiring ideas on building your income, take a look here. http://www.moolanomy.com/

Zen Habits - Leo Babauta just posted a big round-up of the best money-related posts he’s written since starting the blog. Get ready for some in-depth link exploration here. http://zenhabits.net/2008/07/golden-money-list/

Fix My Personal Finance - Here’s another resource on managing your money and fixing your personal finance problems. Take a look here. http://fixmypersonalfinance.com/

Binary Dollar - This blog has a quirky sense of humor and provides “free money tips for everyone” and seems to have a fetish for link round-up posts. Check it out here.
http://www.binarydollar.com/

Of course, we don’t advocate that you make serious decisions based off nothing more than the advice of a blog, and while these are all useful resources you should certainly check with a professional who you trust before taking action.

[timhsvwalkinsha]

Originally Posted by AcEReconA

Let's see some evidence of these so called "chemical imbalances" that you hear so much about in the SSRI commercials.

Do you realize how many people are misdiagnosed everyday? I was diagnosed with all the above disorders after a 20 part questionaire. (no thread hijack)

Have you actually sought evidence...or is this an assumption?

If I provide you with the appropriate research will it change your opinion as far as the monoamine theory of depression goes? (Edit: i.e. is it worth my time?)

Also, you are asking me if I realize how many people are being misdiagnosed...I must ask...is this opinion or do you have some research to substantiate your claim?

[captain_marvel]

In for actual decent informative thread.

[captain_marvel]

bump

[user437490845hjgf]

Originally Posted by timhsvwalkinsha

Have you actually sought evidence...or is this an assumption?

If I provide you with the appropriate research will it change your opinion as far as the monoamine theory of depression goes? (Edit: i.e. is it worth my time?)

Also, you are asking me if I realize how many people are being misdiagnosed...I must ask...is this opinion or do you have some research to substantiate your claim?

lol strong bump.

Anyways, I'm keeping an open mind. Of course I can't provide statistics pertaining to how many people are misdiagnosed. If such a statistic did exist, it would only be the tip of the iceberg as not everyone is going to come forward and say that they were misdiagnosed.

In any case, I'm not trying to offend you, I realize this is a touchy subject. Let's keep the thread on topic and settle any debate we have via PM.

[u5711]

Keep it up!

[Phal4nx]

Awesome thread. Subscribed.

Can I suggest you add meditation to this thread?

[ACslatering]

Originally Posted by AcEReconA

lol strong bump.

Anyways, I'm keeping an open mind. Of course I can't provide statistics pertaining to how many people are misdiagnosed. If such a statistic did exist, it would only be the tip of the iceberg as not everyone is going to come forward and say that they were misdiagnosed.

In any case, I'm not trying to offend you, I realize this is a touchy subject. Let's keep the thread on topic and settle any debate we have via PM.

Conflict resolution.

Reps on recharge!

[timhsvwalkinsha]

Originally Posted by ACslatering

Conflict resolution.

Reps on recharge!

Conflict?? where

[u5711]

sweet

[A FREAK]

great read!

[alex1986]

heres something i do that works. make a small mark somewhere visible, like a circle on your hand. whenever you look at this mark, think "how does thinking negatively benefit me in this situation?" the answer is NEVER. this is the quickest and fastest way to cultivating a positive mindset and get rid of pessimism / doubt. you'll always see this symbol and you'll realize how pointless it is to be negative and doubtful.