Okay, this is a sensitive subject for me and I'm so sorry in advance if I offend anyone.
My mother has never been the skinniest person (at least, since she brought me into this world). Over the past 5-10 years she's gotten very big. I know for a fact she's been over 200 pounds for the past few years and i'd even guess her at 220 after seeing her today. She's got depression problems, is pre-menopausal and has put on some weight from her body changing, getting older and some depression meds. I understand. She also hates her job, my dad's not the nicest person in the world to her and she's, of course, unhappy with her weight.
She's worked in the same restaurant (very unhealthy one) for about 25 years, but has been working in the back office for about 10. I know it's hard to eat well there, I worked there for a while myself, but lunches could easily be solved if she brought her own. Unfortunately, that's an effort she doesn't care to make.
I know my father's been trying to help her out (they're still married and living together) For a while he was making her a fruit salad and sending it with her to work. I've seen him politely remind her to set her fork down between bites. I know he knows what he's talking about-he's the reason i'm athletic. He's also fit. I just hate to see how she becomes so upset with anyone trying to help her. He'll suggest (again politely) to fully chew and take small bites yada yada yada and she'll tear up and snap at him.
We all just want her to be around past 60, you know? And we tell her that, but she just says "I know" and continues her bad practices.
My parents bought a very nice teadmill and she was using for a while, but slowly stopped, it got moved to the basement and is just collecting dust.
I've said "Hey, I joined this nice new gym, why don't you come with me some morning and we can have some girl time"
She's always made some excuse and it never happens. I even offered to pay for a personal trainer for her, she has always talked about how she would love to have one, but she won't go.
Well today a lot of my family was at my older sisters house, who was trying on a bride's maid dress. My mother was lying on the bed playing with her grandkids having a good time. She was holding onto my niece (just turned 1) and started laughing about something. She proceeded to somehow wiggle around and nearly drop the baby and land on top of her. My cousin caught the kid and my mom seriously just fell right off the bed from not being able to balance her body almost landing on the baby.
She then proceeded to nearly pee her self while sneezing, ran off to pee and returned not realizing she about crushed her granddaughter.
Okay, fine, I ignored it. So I again said, hey, lets go to the gym tomorrow morning. Again she resisited with some BS excuse about having to 'watch stocks' for my dad. Fine, whatever.
Well i've been wanting to show her a few profiles on this site (chickentuna and judimax) whom I think could be really inspiring for her. (mom's only 46) I politely showed her how I felt these women could be inspiring to her and she walks away, bursts into tears and says she's sick of everyone calling her fat.
I told her I've never once called her fat and would just like her to come with me to work out - just try it once.
She continues to tear up.
Me: Mom, when have I ever called you fat?
My cousin (female, 25, kinda like me, thick around the hips-def not fat):You've never been fat, you just don't understand.
I don't understand? I don't understand? I know i've never been 'fat' but I beg to differ that I don't understand. My mother turns and says its genetics. Really?! Really. That's why I don't look anything like her. I KNOW she could EASILY drop 50 pounds if she just made an effort. But she won't. She continues to make excuses, smuggle boxes of oreos into the house and eat them all in one sitting.
I can't even begin to tell you the crap she eats. You know those DISGUSTING hamburger helper singles - with the MEAT IN THE BAG!? yeah, she LOVES those.
she wont give up soda. REFUSES to even try diet. I tell her - try it for one week you won't even notice. No.
She complained about the birthday cake (but still ate it) today because my sister made it healthy and put flaxseed in it. There was no way to tell! She purposely resists any healthy alternatives.
I know I can't force her to want to change, she has to want it for herself. But am I really supposed to just sit idly by while she eats taco bell burritos and tells me she's borderline diabetic with high blood pressure?
Maybe I really don't understand...