Marriage is pointless....

[juice1348]

for most people....this is a spin off from Al Pals thread about dumping your chicks...

My feelings on marraige are...its stupid and you will end up miserable, possibly poor, paying alomony, child support or wanting to kill yourself...Marriage was brought about LONG AGO when people who were 40 years old were ELDERLY and about to die. That being said, its not natural to stay with one person for years and years. When the average life span was 35 years marriage was cool, but now, fuk it.

Now the other reasons why not to get married are below (just my views, lets hear yours!):

50% of marriages FAIL completely leaving 50% that 'work' out (number keeps getting lower year by year)...In that 50% that 'works', how many of those couple are truly happy, have cheated etc etc...gotta say AT LEAST 50% of that group which leaves 25% of good marriages now...of that group, Im guessing a good % of those peeps are simply ugly, unsociable or social retards so they fit know they wont be pulling anythign better than they have....

You do the math...I will stay single, date hot girls, work on my career, play sports til Im 60 and do what I want.

[igetSWOLL]

similar thoughts... my parrents think im 'out there' because I expressed some of those views. i simply told them "i dont want your life" and then threw a football at my dads nose... billy bob got a concussion.

but seriously, marriage can work for some, me personally, i refuse. and its not all about new pussy and all that. its the simple fact in this day and age women that are trustworthy are few and far in between. maybe that means im being a cynic, but after seeing and hearing about all of the absolute hell that goes on in family law (dad is lawyer) i have serious reservations about signing up for that.

[EET]

But if you're the only son on your side of the family, it is your duty to have children and continue the family name.

[YUL]

Originally Posted by igetSWOLL

its the simple fact in this day and age women that are trustworthy are few and far in between. .

that goes both ways to. guys are untrustworthy too.

anyway, I feel that marriage is not the same when both partners are financially independent.

that's how I see marriage anyway, a financial contract.

I Grew up in Quebec, where civil unions are the norm and married wifes never take their husband's names and people have kids without getting married.

[namtaB]

Watch everybody loves raymond and according to jim. If you can handle being the emasculated male seen on these shows for the rest of your life then you will be very happy in marriage today in this society. The producers and creators of these show have said that they receive fan mail, emals, etc. constantly telling them how the marriages on these shows reflect their own.

Otherwise fuggedaboutit!!!!

[juice1348]

Originally Posted by EET

But if you're the only son on your side of the family, it is your duty to have children and continue the family name.

Good thing my brother already has a son, lol.

[Jenflower2]

It only takes meeting someone absolutely amazing to change your whole mind on the marriage thing. Marriage will inevitably be the natural next step. You will want to get married.
I've never met anyone I've wanted to marry yet, so I'm on the fence about marriage (although I do so badly want a commited long term relationship) but I do know when I do meet someone incredible I will have immense faith in the whole marriage thing and see it's value and want to do it! I know this. Who knows if I'll ever meet someone who brings that out in me though.

[juice1348]

Originally Posted by Jenflower2

It only takes meeting someone absolutely amazing to change your whole mind on the marriage thing. Marriage will inevitably be the natural next step. You will want to get married.
I've never met anyone I've wanted to marry yet, so I'm on the fence about marriage (although I do so badly want a commited long term relationship) but I do know when I do meet someone incredible I will have immense faith in the whole marriage thing and see it's value and want to do it! I know this. Who knows if I'll ever meet someone who brings that out in me though.

ugh, fine Jen, lets do it...hahaha...

No but seriously, I know MANY people (my brother included) who have been looking to get married since they were 12 years old. They just wanted to be settled down, fat, married and whatever. Maybe your right and I will just meet someone "amazing", but I dont think so. 100% of the people who get married THINK they met someone amazing and will be together forever...dont work like that tho.

[Jenflower2]

Originally Posted by juice1348

ugh, fine Jen, lets do it...hahaha...

No but seriously, I know MANY people (my brother included) who have been looking to get married since they were 12 years old. They just wanted to be settled down, fat, married and whatever. Maybe your right and I will just meet someone "amazing", but I dont think so. 100% of the people who get married THINK they met someone amazing and will be together forever...dont work like that tho.

I truly envy the people who meet someone they want to marry. I wonder if I will ever feel that way for someone to actually want to marry them..because that is pretty big. It doesn't even matter that it doesn't work out..nobody is thinking about that when they are in love and getting married. When you find that amazing person, those 50% statistics go right out the window, they just don't matter anymore. Everyone thinks that their marriage will work out, they wouldn't be getting married if they didn't have faith in it.

[namtaB]

Originally Posted by Jenflower2

It only takes meeting someone absolutely amazing to change your whole mind on the marriage thing. Marriage will inevitably be the natural next step. You will want to get married.
I've never met anyone I've wanted to marry yet, so I'm on the fence about marriage (although I do so badly want a commited long term relationship) but I do know when I do meet someone incredible I will have immense faith in the whole marriage thing and see it's value and want to do it! I know this. Who knows if I'll ever meet someone who brings that out in me though.

I have no problem meeting women with this attitude. The problem is meeting women like this who make substantially more money than I do. That's the only way I'd get married b/c if things go wrong I can fleece them in divorce court since they are the higher income earner in the marriage.

[Al_Pal]

think of all your married male friends... how many of them give you the same warning/speech?

"DONT EVER ****ING GET MARRIED" i hear it all the time. to say that there is no chance for you to have a successful, happy marriage wouldnt be true. But all these guys who are SO sure that there girl is different and they are gonna do it right, are ****ing delusional. Everyone THINKS that, why would they get married if they didnt... and still everyone who is married tells you not to. There has got to be a reason for this.

[Dangerous E]

^^ Most guys with that attitude are too ****ing lazy to make something of themselves anyway, they use their wife as an excuse. I've been married six months, and I have done more, for myself, than I have ever done before. It's great. I can't imagine being apart from my wife.

[juice1348]

Originally Posted by Dangerous E

^^ Most guys with that attitude are too ****ing lazy to make something of themselves anyway, they use their wife as an excuse. I've been married six months, and I have done more, for myself, than I have ever done before. It's great. I can't imagine being apart from my wife.

Im 100% not being a dickkk and i wish the best for you and EVERYONE (for the most part, lol), BUT you are 22, that is the 'danger zone' for failure. The statistics of marriages not working increase by a lot when the couple is under 24 years old...

I am 29 and ALMOST every marriage Ive seen that the couple was under 23 or 24 has desolved...sucks, but its just a fact of life. I love how a person will get SOOO defensive too and say "not me bro, not my marriage, i know..." Like Jenflower said, NOBODY believes they are in the 50% they doesnt work, or else they wouldnt be getting married.

[Al_Pal]

Originally Posted by Dangerous E

^^ Most guys with that attitude are too ****ing lazy to make something of themselves anyway, they use their wife as an excuse. I've been married six months, and I have done more, for myself, than I have ever done before. It's great. I can't imagine being apart from my wife.

you have been married for...... 6 months. Check back in 10 years.

[namtaB]

Originally Posted by Dangerous E

^^ Most guys with that attitude are too ****ing lazy to make something of themselves anyway, they use their wife as an excuse. I've been married six months, and I have done more, for myself, than I have ever done before. It's great. I can't imagine being apart from my wife.

I can't speak for Al_Pal's married friends but of the ones I know only one has recommended marriage. The others have either advised against it or complain and end with "but I adore my children." Every single one of them are far from lazy, most earning 6 figures per year in professional occupations or as owners of a business. The underlying problem is that their wives expectations are simply unattainable despite what they do.

[audixe]

Originally Posted by juice1348

You do the math...I will stay single, date hot girls, work on my career, play sports til Im 60 and do what I want.

LOL, have fun being the old lonely guy. Most people normally mature and realize it's time to settle down...I'm not saying there is anything wrong with what you want to do, but don't make it sound like marriage is for no one. Only retards can't make a marriage work, which is what most people are anyways.

[Al_Pal]

Originally Posted by audixe

LOL, have fun being the old lonely guy. Most people normally mature and realize it's time to settle down...I'm not saying there is anything wrong with what you want to do, but don't make it sound like marriage is for no one. Only retards can't make a marriage work, which is what most people are anyways.

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

[Ellimist]

Marriages don't last because people are lazy. If one thing goes wrong in the marriage, rather than to work hard and fix it, people just sign divorce papers and move on to the next inevitable problem.

[Nasty1]

Originally Posted by EET

But if you're the only son on your side of the family, it is your duty to have children and continue the family name.

Dont need to be married to have a kid and carry on the name.


To the OP....I feel the same way brother.

[Jenflower2]

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

This is true Al Pal!
When you reach a certain age, you might feel momentarily like an outcast if you're not married, but life can be very fulfilling w/out taking the marriage plunge, if you surround yourself with what you said, lots of hobbies, family and friends.

or you all can do it like my older sister has done. She's been in a commited relationship with a good friend for 10 years, they have 2 kids together but they never plan on getting married.

[Dangerous E]

I'll check back in 10-20-30 years. I took my vows seriously. If there is a problem, we'll work it out. I'm not in one of those marriages that is perfect for a year, and then the people involved get bored or pissed off. We fight all the time, but it makes our relationship stronger. Also, I didn't get married for sex. I didn't get married for money. I didn't get married for land. I got married because I wanted to share my life with the girl I love. I'm not the typical male. I'm not worried about how much ass I can pull on the weekends. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't party. I want a family. I want a woman to experience all the things I've dreamt of doing, and she wants a man for the same reasons. Marriages fail these days because no one thinks about it, they just do it, or they are forced into it because of a pregnancy. We aren't going to have kids for at least three more years.

[WizardGlick]

Wow, I'm really sorry a lot of you have been exposed to bad marriages. Seriously, what Jenflower said is true. But until that time you won't think differently. You just won't. Before I met Diane I thought pretty much the same way. I wasn't going to get married until at least in my 30's. Obviously that changed.

My own personal opinion on why marriages go bad? Selfishness and the mere fact the a lot of people settle. Don't ever settle for someone. If there's a doubt about the relationship when you're dating it won't last as a marriage. So I agree in that it's probably better off to stay single. Also, this world is driven by money. And unfortunately a lot of people surround their thoughts and problem around money. So when money issues hit, they need to blame someone. That's where the selfishness comes in.

My advice for you guys out there?

1) Don't live your life based on money
2) Don't marry a woman that demands an expensive ring. This alone should show you what to expect years to come.
3) Take a look at her older siblings and female relations. What are their attitudes? If your girl is hot then take a look at the mom. Is she basically good looking or has she just let herself go? I've seen way too many guys marry hot girls only to see them unhappy because their woman let themselves go. And that attitude comes from upbringing. You can basically see what you're going to get in a few years by looking at their mothers, aunts, etc. I know this sounds sexist, but I'm a guy and I'm going to look at this from a guys point of view.
4) How is her attitude towards you? Is she a giver? Does she feel it's important that you're happy? In ALL areas? This is a biggy, too.
5) How is she in bed? It's obviously difficult to tell after a couple of times, but if the sex is mind blowing every time .... you have a winner.

Also, don't confuse infatuation with love. The feelings ARE different and when you find the right person you'll know this. It will just seem natural.

All marriages have bad times. It's work, no lie about that. But it'll depend on the people involved and their attitudes on life that will make or break a marriage. It's work but it's work that's worth doing. And if you're with the right person then it won't feel like work ..... all the time, or even most of the time. It'll just feel natural.

Hope this helps. I've been married 24 years now and to tell you the truth, I find it very sad that people find this surprising that 2 people can last that long and still be into eachother.

[Feny]

this thread is stupid... divorce is the reason more and more familys have messed up kids... kids are supposed to have 2 parents that love each other...



what would happen to childeren if there was no love between the parents AT ALL???


Grow up... this aditude that it is okay to cheat ect, is the reason it is now acceptable just to divorce because you're "bored"

[Jenflower2]

Originally Posted by Dangerous E

I'll check back in 10-20-30 years. I took my vows seriously. If there is a problem, we'll work it out. I'm not in one of those marriages that is perfect for a year, and then the people involved get bored or pissed off. We fight all the time, but it makes our relationship stronger. Also, I didn't get married for sex. I didn't get married for money. I didn't get married for land. I got married because I wanted to share my life with the girl I love. I'm not the typical male. I'm not worried about how much ass I can pull on the weekends. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't party. I want a family. I want a woman to experience all the things I've dreamt of doing, and she wants a man for the same reasons. Marriages fail these days because no one thinks about it, they just do it, or they are forced into it because of a pregnancy. We aren't going to have kids for at least three more years.

It sounds like you got married for all the right reasons and that you have what it takes to keep it strong.

[juice1348]

Originally Posted by Nasty1

Dont need to be married to have a kid and carry on the name.


To the OP....I feel the same way brother.

Thanks brother, in my honest opinion if you are really self confident and really think about marraige as a whole, you will be very careful about the whole situation.

Al Pal, I loveee when people say to me 'have fun being the lonely guy...blah blah blah...' I am FAR from lonely. I own my own house, I come home to my dogs (which I absolutely love), do what I want, have friends over sometimes, read, watch tv, enjoy myself etc. I play sports still, go to the gym, see my family (parents, brother etc) all the time, so why am I lonely??? Im not...Im smart.

[luckyshark]

Originally Posted by juice1348

for most people....this is a spin off from Al Pals thread about dumping your chicks...

My feelings on marraige are...its stupid and you will end up miserable, possibly poor, paying alomony, child support or wanting to kill yourself...Marriage was brought about LONG AGO when people who were 40 years old were ELDERLY and about to die. That being said, its not natural to stay with one person for years and years. When the average life span was 35 years marriage was cool, but now, fuk it.

Now the other reasons why not to get married are below (just my views, lets hear yours!):

50% of marriages FAIL completely leaving 50% that 'work' out (number keeps getting lower year by year)...In that 50% that 'works', how many of those couple are truly happy, have cheated etc etc...gotta say AT LEAST 50% of that group which leaves 25% of good marriages now...of that group, Im guessing a good % of those peeps are simply ugly, unsociable or social retards so they fit know they wont be pulling anythign better than they have....

You do the math...I will stay single, date hot girls, work on my career, play sports til Im 60 and do what I want.

91% of New Year's resolutions are failed/forgotten about in the first 6 months of the year...should you never make them, then?

33% (and rising) of college freshmen will drop out before graduating and never get a degree...should people stop trying to go to college and be happy @ Wal-Mart/McDonald's?

Less than 8% of the American population works out on a regular basis...should you just give up being fit?

1 in every 6,800 people will die in a motor vehicle accident every year...should you give up driving and stick to walking everywhere?

Man, my point is this: If you're using those stats as a crutch and an excuse, then you really don't want it in the first place. There's risk in EVERYTHING that you do in life. Hell, more people die in hospitals than out of hospitals, and that's supposed to be the safest place possible! If you really wanna be cool and "Alpha," then get out there and be sombody who says "F*ck statistics" and make a relationship work! Be a minority and be better than "average." I mean, to each his own and if you don't think you've got what it takes to make a great life together with a girl and have a family, then by all means...don't even try. Personally, I've got what it takes and I'm living my life to beat the statistics. I'll never let numbers hold me down. I'm living my life like it's on purpose and I'm here to WIN!

[JamesIII]

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

remember - as males get older - we make less friends, and eventually our current ones fade away or move away or die etc etc

I'm 26 and already i have about 25% of the active friends i had when i finished highschool...

If i'm single when i'm 40, chances are i'll have one friend who will be too busy with his wife and kids/grandkids to keep playing video games and watch sports on the weekend!!!!

[Al_Pal]

Originally Posted by Dangerous E

I'll check back in 10-20-30 years. I took my vows seriously. If there is a problem, we'll work it out. I'm not in one of those marriages that is perfect for a year, and then the people involved get bored or pissed off. We fight all the time, but it makes our relationship stronger. Also, I didn't get married for sex. I didn't get married for money. I didn't get married for land. I got married because I wanted to share my life with the girl I love. I'm not the typical male. I'm not worried about how much ass I can pull on the weekends. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't party. I want a family. I want a woman to experience all the things I've dreamt of doing, and she wants a man for the same reasons. Marriages fail these days because no one thinks about it, they just do it, or they are forced into it because of a pregnancy. We aren't going to have kids for at least three more years.

like i siad. it isnt impossible, but you are up against some serious odds. GOOD LUCK!!

[Jenflower2]

Originally Posted by juice1348

Thanks brother, in my honest opinion if you are really self confident and really think about marraige as a whole, you will be very careful about the whole situation.

Al Pal, I loveee when people say to me 'have fun being the lonely guy...blah blah blah...' I am FAR from lonely. I own my own house, I come home to my dogs (which I absolutely love), do what I want, have friends over sometimes, read, watch tv, enjoy myself etc. I play sports still, go to the gym, see my family (parents, brother etc) all the time, so why am I lonely??? Im not...Im smart.

Sounds like a pretty boring life to me.... haha j/k.

[audixe]

Originally Posted by Al_Pal

lol. seriously, why are so many of you guys afraid to be lonely? Do you not have friends or family or hobbies or anything?

is the only way to validate your life with a female?

Actually I'm perfectly comfortable being alone. Not my fault most of you dudes like getting diseases and can't stay with one chick because she's out cheating on you. Anyways, I'm just saying that most people usually grow up...eventually...

EDIT: After reading most of you guys' posts that don't want to get married, it's probably best that you never do, as you only doubt yourself apparently. You will no doubt be contributing to the divorce factor, when you do meet that special someone. Ha ha.