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Thread: One Race daters

  1. #1
    Registered User thediabolical's Avatar
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    One Race daters

    I want to ask a "race" question, or bring up something to u that has a lot to do with race; black and white.

    A few months ago I was chatting with a female friend who happens to be white (and I, a black male), and she was telling me that this guy (black male) was hitting on her for a date. The guy stated to her that he is only interested in white females, because black females are too demanding and difficult to deal with. I was a little taken back by his statement to her...not so much in how he felt about black females because I have heard that before from my brothas (which is crazy talk and thinking to me), but the fact that he would outright say that to another woman; whether white or black.

    I then asked her how she felt about his comment, and she said she had no feelings about it. That shocked me even more. And I proceeded to tell her that the guy was insulting her by stating, in an indirect way white females are "easy" to deal with; if u understand what I mean. And I am not sure if black guys that have this "fetish" for only dating white females understand their problem.

    Please do not misunderstand me; I am not saying people should only date in their race. What I am saying is that if u only date a certain race out of ur insecurities u has a subconscious problem. "I only date such & such race because they are...."

    Do u understand what I am saying here?! Ur feedback?
    Last edited by thediabolical; 03-31-2008 at 07:45 AM.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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    I think you are putting wayyy too much thought into this. You are also basing your comments on a very small group of people and in a sense, generalizing. There are lots of black men that do date black women and there are also white men that date black women. That goes for all races, not just black and white.


    And I don't think having a preference for a particular race is a subconscious problem either...whatever the reasons may be. Just like some guys wouldn't date a woman with a flat butt or vice versa. Does that somehow give them issues?
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    Originally Posted by SexyChic View Post
    . Just like some guys wouldn't date a woman with a flat butt or vice versa. Does that somehow give them issues?
    sure does. Bubble butt ENVY!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL


    j/k

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    Registered User thediabolical's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SexyChic View Post
    I think you are putting wayyy too much thought into this. You are also basing your comments on a very small group of people and in a sense, generalizing. There are lots of black men that do date black women and there are also white men that date black women. That goes for all races, not just black and white.


    And I don't think having a preference for a particular race is a subconscious problem either...whatever the reasons may be. Just like some guys wouldn't date a woman with a flat butt or vice versa. Does that somehow give them issues?
    I am not basing my comment on a small group of people...I live in an area where interracial dating and marriage is very popular...and I also talk to a number of guys that voice their view on the subject. But of course if they r smart they would not let "u" know of that desire they only have for white females. A lot of black male sports stars r the same way.

    And I know that there r lots of same race dating and marriage...I am not discounting that. What I am talking about is this fetish to "ONLY" date a cetain race outside of urs because of some fault u believe ur race to have. That is my point here.

    And u can not compare butts to races; everyone has a butt...but not everyone is a certain color or race. That was a terrible comparsion on your part.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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    I have heard something similar to "I don't date black females because black females are too demanding and difficult to deal with" on several occassions, both when being hit on and in general conversation. I never quite understood the comment. I don't understand or agree with blanket statements about any specific group of people, including those based on race.

    An acquaintance of mine made a similar comment to me. He is bi-racial (1/2 black and 1/2 white) and has bi-racial daughters. I told him that I disagreed with his thinking. I asked him if he realized that he was lumping his daughters into the generalization he is making. I never got through to him, so I just concluded that it's lack of education that causes someone to to make that statement.

    If I were to hear that comment from someone hitting on me, I would be glad that they said it only b/c I would know not waste any more time on them. I wouldn't want to be with someone with that narrow minded kind of thinking. You are right that the statement is indirectly stating that white women are somehow "easy" to deal with, which I think is offensive, as well.
    Last edited by mcampana; 03-31-2008 at 12:13 PM.
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    here's the deal bro, i use to date all races; Asian, Black, White, Latina, Islander, whatever but that was my choice, thats what i can deal with and enjoyed, because i knew that i had the strength to handle a loud asian woman or a mellowed out black or a high strung white and still found beauty in all of them
    but
    if another man or women feels that black men are too aggressive or white women are too soft, then thats their choice. It tells you something about that person making the choice...bottom line its all about what makes you happy.

    This same thing has been discuss for years in the black community with the whole light skin, dark skin, white skin debate. "If you're with a white women your a sell-out. Why do rap videos only show light skin women? Why do dark skin women tend to be the struggling moms and prostitutes in the movies and have a harder time?" Because its the perception within the eyes of the beholder. The same thing can be said about size. People in shape tend to think that heavier people are unhealthy, lazy, etc. People in shape are looked upon as being self centered, overly driven, etc....but the only person that matters is the person thats judging because its them that has to live with that women or men and wake up to them everyday.
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    Originally Posted by armymuscle01 View Post
    here's the deal bro, i use to date all races; Asian, Black, White, Latina, Islander, whatever but that was my choice, thats what i can deal with and enjoyed, because i knew that i had the strength to handle a loud asian woman or a mellowed out black or a high strung white and still found beauty in all of them
    but
    if another man or women feels that black men are too aggressive or white women are too soft, then thats their choice. It tells you something about that person making the choice...bottom line its all about what makes you happy.

    This same thing has been discuss for years in the black community with the whole light skin, dark skin, white skin debate. "If you're with a white women your a sell-out. Why do rap videos only show light skin women? Why do dark skin women tend to be the struggling moms and prostitutes in the movies and have a harder time?" Because its the perception within the eyes of the beholder. The same thing can be said about size. People in shape tend to think that heavier people are unhealthy, lazy, etc. People in shape are looked upon as being self centered, overly driven, etc....but the only person that matters is the person thats judging because its them that has to live with that women or men and wake up to them everyday.
    I have two questions for u: 1) what race do u (only) date now...or r u married. And 2) my comment does not apply to u if u date all races, so what do u mean by "it is a person's choice"? I understand it is, my point is there is a "hidden" problem that lies there in the person; whether they understand it or not.

    I do understand your post...but the issues u stated in the "black community" r pretty much what I am stating about with reference to the ideology of some black males with only dating white female...or only Asian females at that matter.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    I have two questions for u: 1) what race do u (only) date now...or r u married. And 2) my comment does not apply to u if u date all races, so what do u mean by "it is a person's choice"? I understand it is, my point is there is a "hidden" problem that lies there in the person; whether they understand it or not.

    I do understand your post...but the issues u stated in the "black community" r pretty much what I am stating about with reference to the ideology of some black males with only dating white female...or only Asian females at that matter.
    I'm married now...to a black women, light skin to med brown range

    Somethings need to be kept in house. If he felt black women are more aggressive and only wants to date white women then thats cool, but to tell it to someone of the opposite race isn't. Now if he only likes white women because they are softer or Filipino's because they are thinner, or Latina's because they are heavier, then thats his choice and its not a "fetish", but something that was embedded into his mind over time as beauty and thats what he finds comfort in and has to wake up to. Maybe he's soft and can't deal with anyone stronger then him and finds that the black women he's been around were too strong, nevertheless he's going to come across a white women who doesn't fit his norm and definition or he might find a black one that does.

    If i only like fluffy, white women, who are redheads, because i think that black hair is ugly then who has to live that? As long as i treat black hair women with respect, why is there a problem?
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    Originally Posted by armymuscle01 View Post
    I'm married now...to a black women, light skin to med brown range

    Somethings need to be kept in house. If he felt black women are more aggressive and only wants to date white women then thats cool, but to tell it to someone of the opposite race isn't. Now if he only likes white women because they are softer or Filipino's because they are thinner, or Latina's because they are heavier, then thats his choice and its not a "fetish", but something that was embedded into his mind over time as beauty and thats what he finds comfort in and has to wake up to. Maybe he's soft and can't deal with anyone stronger then him and finds that the black women he's been around were too strong, nevertheless he's going to come across a white women who doesn't fit his norm and definition or he might find a black one that does.

    If i only like fluffy, white women, who are redheads, because i think that black hair is ugly then who has to live that? As long as i treat black hair women with respect, why is there a problem?
    The problem is u can't respect a woman, any race of women, when u say one race of females r harder to deal with than the other. That is a gross generalization of a gender and race of people.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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    Originally Posted by armymuscle01 View Post
    I'm married now...to a black women, light skin to med brown range

    Somethings need to be kept in house. If he felt black women are more aggressive and only wants to date white women then thats cool, but to tell it to someone of the opposite race isn't. Now if he only likes white women because they are softer or Filipino's because they are thinner, or Latina's because they are heavier, then thats his choice and its not a "fetish", but something that was embedded into his mind over time as beauty and thats what he finds comfort in and has to wake up to. Maybe he's soft and can't deal with anyone stronger then him and finds that the black women he's been around were too strong, nevertheless he's going to come across a white women who doesn't fit his norm and definition or he might find a black one that does.

    If i only like fluffy, white women, who are redheads, because i think that black hair is ugly then who has to live that? As long as i treat black hair women with respect, why is there a problem?

    ArmyMuscle, u will like this one. The female also told me that she only likes black men now; after leaving her husband of three years. Go figure
    Last edited by thediabolical; 03-31-2008 at 01:32 PM.
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    The problem is u can't respect a woman, any race of women, when u say one race of females r harder to deal with than the other. That is a gross generalization of a gender and race of people.
    I agree with that statement. I think it's disrespectful and even more so coming from someone of the same race.

    I often think its a problem with the person making the comment. Most likley the women he is referring to were "demanding and difficult" b/c his caused them to react in such a way. Basically he is most likely looking for someone he can walk all over and has decided in his generalization that white women will let him do that. I am sure he will learn the hard way. Some women will put up with things and some won't. It really has nothing to do with race.
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    Originally Posted by mcampana View Post
    I agree with that statement. I think it's disrespectful and even more so coming from someone of the same race.

    I often think its a problem with the person making the comment. Most likley the women he is referring to were "demanding and difficult" b/c his caused them to react in such a way. Basically he is most likely looking for someone he can walk all over and has decided in his generalization that white women will let him do that. I am sure he will learn the hard way. Some women will put up with things and some won't. It really has nothing to do with race.
    Excellent post...I could not agree with u more!!!!
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    The problem is u can't respect a woman, any race of women, when u say one race of females r harder to deal with than the other. That is a gross generalization of a gender and race of people.
    but its truth to that person who's making the comment, due to his weaknesses, strengths and pass personal experiences.
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    ArmyMuscle, u will like this one. The female also told me that she only likes black men now; after leaving her husband of three years. Go figure

    she's been hit with something that she's hooked too.
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    I've actually heard that before as well...I guess that's what I get for hanging around the wrong crowd at clubs hehe. Yea, it's offensive that some men think I'm easy because I'm white, but I'm sure others think the same thing because I like to wear tight jeans. If I cared that much, I'd be a mental case by now. There's an easy solution...just avoid the people who make ludicrous generalizations, racial or otherwise. You'll be avoiding most people though.
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    I am not basing my comment on a small group of people...I live in an area where interracial dating and marriage is very popular...and I also talk to a number of guys that voice their view on the subject. But of course if they r smart they would not let "u" know of that desire they only have for white females. A lot of black male sports stars r the same way.

    And I know that there r lots of same race dating and marriage...I am not discounting that. What I am talking about is this fetish to "ONLY" date a cetain race outside of urs because of some fault u believe ur race to have. That is my point here.

    And u can not compare butts to races; everyone has a butt...but not everyone is a certain color or race. That was a terrible comparsion on your part.
    Well you just contradicted yourself in your first sentence....You live in an area and are using those people as the basis of your claims (which is an extremely small population in the U.S. or world). So yes, that is a small group of people.

    And I think that it is personal choice and ArmyMuscle01 is right. The person making that statement is the only person that has to live with that choice.

    Now I do not agree with them going around and telling anyone that choice (esp. not women they are trying to date) because that just shows lack of class and intelligence on their part.

    BUT at the same time, I think that people let mere words get them too emotionally charged (especially when it comes to race) and it just seems to perpetuate the whole racial thing/stigma or whatever.
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    this thread is nauseating
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  18. #18
    Registered User thediabolical's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MaddenMuscle View Post
    this thread is nauseating

    "this thread is nauseating"

    ...that is pretty good, u made a sentence; congratulations. Can u try to make two sentences now?!
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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  19. #19
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    Originally Posted by MaddenMuscle View Post
    this thread is nauseating
    And don't get upset bcuz us brothas r screwing ur sistas...well

    Racist!!!
    Last edited by thediabolical; 04-03-2008 at 06:29 AM.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    I want to ask a "race" question, or bring up something to u that has a lot to do with race; black and white.

    A few months ago I was chatting with a female friend who happens to be white (and I, a black male), and she was telling me that this guy (black male) was hitting on her for a date. The guy stated to her that he is only interested in white females, because black females are too demanding and difficult to deal with. I was a little taken back by his statement to her...not so much in how he felt about black females because I have heard that before from my brothas (which is crazy talk and thinking to me), but the fact that he would outright say that to another woman; whether white or black.

    I then asked her how she felt about his comment, and she said she had no feelings about it. That shocked me even more. And I proceeded to tell her that the guy was insulting her by stating, in an indirect way white females are "easy" to deal with; if u understand what I mean. And I am not sure if black guys that have this "fetish" for only dating white females understand their problem.

    Please do not misunderstand me; I am not saying people should only date in their race. What I am saying is that if u only date a certain race out of ur insecurities u has a subconscious problem. "I only date such & such race because they are...."

    Do u understand what I am saying here?! Ur feedback?
    WTF? There's nothing offensive by that at all. Stop whining, pussy.
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  21. #21
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    Originally Posted by pay tribute View Post
    WTF? There's nothing offensive by that at all. Stop whining, pussy.

    Now why am I a pussy, bcuz u say so...or seeing that I get so much u can smell it on me

    If that is the case...than u r a dick...bcuz u get so much...homo!!
    Last edited by thediabolical; 04-02-2008 at 02:22 PM.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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  22. #22
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    Now why am I am pussy, bcuz u say so...or seeing that I get so much u can smell it on me

    If that is the case...than u r a dick...bcuz u get so much...homo!!
    WTF? Kill yourself.
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  23. #23
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    Originally Posted by pay tribute View Post
    WTF? Kill yourself.
    Wow...that was an excellent comeback; I am speechless!!!
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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  24. #24
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    Wow...that was an excellent comeback; I am speechless!!!
    It wasn't a comeback, it was a suggestion.
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  25. #25
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    Originally Posted by pay tribute View Post
    It wasn't a comeback, it was a suggestion.
    A suggestion?! Ok son we r going to teach u grammar skills. Suggestions r always followed by a question mark at the end. Try again...I will wait for u.
    so i have done it all...now what?!
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  26. #26
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    Originally Posted by pay tribute View Post
    WTF? There's nothing offensive by that at all. Stop whining, pussy.
    tell him son!
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  27. #27
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    A suggestion?! Ok son we r going to teach u grammar skills. Suggestions r always followed by a question mark at the end. Try again...I will wait for u.
    Suggestions are statements, not questions. Dumbass. Take 3rd grade spelling, also.
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  28. #28
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    Originally Posted by thediabolical View Post
    And don't get upset bcuz us brotha r screwing ur sistas...well

    Racist!!!
    calm down little man
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  29. #29
    Im aware of your breast TheSheepdog's Avatar
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    hai guise, what in the hell has happened to this thread???!!!!
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  30. #30
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    Originally Posted by armymuscle01 View Post
    hai guise, what in the hell has happened to this thread???!!!!
    Battle of the epeens!! **munches popcorn**
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