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  1. #1
    Banned Mike_Jones_MISC's Avatar
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    (SeriouS) How do i become a hitman for hire?

    Disclaimer for mods: This topic is for theoretical disscusion. I have no interest in becoming a hitman for hire nor do i advise anyone to.

    So where do i start? (serious)

    Im tired of running the rat race. Im up for a different pace.

    Becomming a cop is not an option for me due to not being able to pass the poly. (tried twice at 2 diff stations in 2 different states). Its about as far as i can get due to experimenting with cocaine.

    Mob? I met a few contacts and from what ive seen.. i worked at a bouncer at an italian place but they were just doing some minor illegal gambling. It was nothing big, hell even the cops knew about it and did nothing.

    Military? Possible for training, but the chance of dieing for ****ty pay and horrible pollitical reasons. Far from worth it. Or would something like Navy seal or recon training help? They do more demolition then assasination work.

    Assasination is serious big business. Un documented but someone always wants someone killed. And are willing to pay massive amounts of cash.

    Im just curious.

    Also no: be a rapper(fake), join a gang, drug dealer. Those are all weak sub criminal positions.

    Im talking about targeted assasinations and hits.
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  2. #2
    Aware? SevereMedicalCondition's Avatar
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    Probably start with the misc
    And all who look shall see them there,
    And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
    His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
    Weave a circle round him thrice,
    And close your eyes with holy dread,
    For he on honey-dew hath fed,
    And drunk the milk of Paradise.

    Snatch 180 Clean and jerk 230
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  3. #3
    Banned Mike_Jones_MISC's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thesunlessea View Post
    Probably start with the misc
    one step ahead of you
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  4. #4
    Registered User someguy2000's Avatar
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    Join one of those mercenary armys in iraq right now, u better get some trainin.
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  5. #5
    Banned Fallen_Angel's Avatar
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    I'll give you 10K to kill Kalagan.
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  6. #6
    You're gonna love my nuts hamdemic's Avatar
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    Goto this website

    http://tinyurl.com/2zg4o
    Stay safe, Stay 2nd Amendment.

    Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be taken seriously, as it is entirely satirical.
    The information contained in this post is for general humor purposes only. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk. In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage whatsoever arising from lack of a sense of humor.
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  7. #7
    Banned LECTER's Avatar
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    pm me.
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  8. #8
    Becoming a better person Tex24's Avatar
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    someone just watched Hitman...
    When life gives you lemons, say fuk the lemons, and bail

    S&P
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  9. #9
    Banned Mike_Jones_MISC's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DMax7 View Post
    Goto this website

    http://tinyurl.com/2zg4o
    keylogger DO NOT CLICK
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  10. #10
    Banned Vadim Beliaev's Avatar
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    Good hitmen all usually served in the special forces.
    If you have no military background forget it because you suck.
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  11. #11
    Message Board King LongLong89's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fallen_Angel View Post
    I'll give you 10K to kill Kalagan.
    in b4 fbi
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  12. #12
    The Kielbasa PolishSasquatch's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Vadim Beliaev View Post
    because you suck.
    lol
    Goon Squad-U Mad?
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  13. #13
    Banned TheobeseLifter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mike_Jones_MISC View Post
    Disclaimer for mods: This topic is for theoretical disscusion. I have no interest in becoming a hitman for hire nor do i advise anyone to.

    So where do i start? (serious)

    Im tired of running the rat race. Im up for a different pace.

    Becomming a cop is not an option for me due to not being able to pass the poly. (tried twice at 2 diff stations in 2 different states). Its about as far as i can get due to experimenting with cocaine.

    Mob? I met a few contacts and from what ive seen.. i worked at a bouncer at an italian place but they were just doing some minor illegal gambling. It was nothing big, hell even the cops knew about it and did nothing.

    Military? Possible for training, but the chance of dieing for ****ty pay and horrible pollitical reasons. Far from worth it. Or would something like Navy seal or recon training help? They do more demolition then assasination work.

    Assasination is serious big business. Un documented but someone always wants someone killed. And are willing to pay massive amounts of cash.

    Im just curious.

    Also no: be a rapper(fake), join a gang, drug dealer. Those are all weak sub criminal positions.

    Im talking about targeted assasinations and hits.

    Have you ever thought of a career as a Ninja? you remind me of a younger me before I became a Ninja that is.
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  14. #14
    pic is me. natty. u mad? AniMaLizTik's Avatar
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    step one: join army
    step two: apply for sniper school
    step three: become an "ACE" sniper
    step four: seperate from ARMY
    step five: Apply for CIA special "investigations" unit, ps, you need a Masters degree in Criminal Justice.
    Step six: volunteer to off the president of the united states for actually working for the people and not against the people
    Step seven: assasinate the pres, become government fall guy
    step eight: become shot in the face as you are being escorted to your hearing
    step nine: be forever known by your first, middle, and last name
    step ten: there is no step ten, you are dead by now
    live.laugh.love
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  15. #15
    All yo reps belong to me f1nch's Avatar
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    if i were to hypothetically become a hitman i would

    a) join military and enter special forces training

    b) get out of military and work as a security /alarm installer person to know how to disarm gain entry to places/ppls homes

    c) take some acting classes and studio make up for disguises


    remember no women. no children.

    d) watch the professional like 20x im pretty sure that certifies you as a pro hitman guy.
    "I won't be the inconsequential, I won't be the wasted potential"
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  16. #16
    Registered User Lughd's Avatar
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    reputation and experience...the military way is the best. Your argument against it was dying? Um, I'm pretty sure a hitman for hire has to be willing to risk dying so why not start by getting into the military and getting the training/experience needed to kill without remorse.
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  17. #17
    Banned Ismokerocks's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by f1nch View Post
    if i were to hypothetically become a hitman i would

    a) join military and enter special forces training

    b) get out of military and work as a security /alarm installer person to know how to disarm gain entry to places/ppls homes

    c) take some acting classes and studio make up for disguises


    remember no women. no children.

    d) watch the professional like 20x im pretty sure that certifies you as a pro hitman guy.

    im scared of u now
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  18. #18
    Banned UkraineKielbasa's Avatar
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    Not to get into anything illegal here but there was apparently a serious (I think) manual published for being a hitman...
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hit_Man...nt_Contractors

    It was apparently banned in the U.S. but a simple entry of the title into google or so yields you the entire contents as the book is no longer published (obviously). No I'm not becoming a hitman so please FBI man don't come after me.
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  19. #19
    ★Auf Granit beißen★ Das Gildenmeister's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Originally Posted by Fallen_Angel View Post
    I'll give you 10K to kill Kalagan.
    ill throw another 10 on there
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  20. #20
    Misc Doctor #1 subterfuge's Avatar
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    buy a plant.
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  21. #21
    All yo reps belong to me f1nch's Avatar
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    1 more thing

    definately study forensic criminal science to learn how NOT to get caught

    Originally Posted by Ismokerocks View Post
    im scared of u now
    as you should be.
    "I won't be the inconsequential, I won't be the wasted potential"
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  22. #22
    Registered User ineed$'s Avatar
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    You just feel the urge to kill?

    Let me ask you...

    would you be able to kill a hot girl?

    Would you be able to blow up a car with the target and his family (including kids)

    Would you be able to kill a mark that is a 15 years old?

    Can you fight well in hand to hand combat?

    Can you interrograte and torture people?


    I thought about becoming one but technology is too good these days. They will get you if you leave a fraction of your finger tip.
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  23. #23
    Eagles/Yanks Deal With It MA5Bergey's Avatar
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    If you want to be a hitman, maybe you should leave an ad in the newspaper. I'm sure someone will see it :P
    -NY Yankees, NY Knicks, Philadelphia Eagles, UConn Huskies Fan-
    XBL Gamertag: II Bergey II

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  24. #24
    Custom User Title newbodybuilder2's Avatar
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    watch dexter
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  25. #25
    Strong Assed Cawk Crew TheJuicedchase's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mike_Jones_MISC View Post
    Disclaimer for mods: This topic is for theoretical disscusion. I have no interest in becoming a hitman for hire nor do i advise anyone to.

    So where do i start? (serious)

    Im tired of running the rat race. Im up for a different pace.

    Becomming a cop is not an option for me due to not being able to pass the poly. (tried twice at 2 diff stations in 2 different states). Its about as far as i can get due to experimenting with cocaine.

    Mob? I met a few contacts and from what ive seen.. i worked at a bouncer at an italian place but they were just doing some minor illegal gambling. It was nothing big, hell even the cops knew about it and did nothing.

    Military? Possible for training, but the chance of dieing for ****ty pay and horrible pollitical reasons. Far from worth it. Or would something like Navy seal or recon training help? They do more demolition then assasination work.

    Assasination is serious big business. Un documented but someone always wants someone killed. And are willing to pay massive amounts of cash.

    Im just curious.

    Also no: be a rapper(fake), join a gang, drug dealer. Those are all weak sub criminal positions.

    Im talking about targeted assasinations and hits.

    Why not cruise around town with a police scanner and go vigilante? At least satisfy your urge to be a police officer.
    "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." - Professor Bernardo de la Paz

    "All restraints upon man's natural liberty, not necessary for the simple maintenance of justice, are of the nature of slavery, and differ from each other only in degree. - Lysander Spooner"
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  26. #26
    Oh Word? JohnnyRyall's Avatar
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    #1 - buy implements of death
    #2 - advertise
    #3 - profit
    Living on borrowed time and borrowed money
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  27. #27
    Banned Hugh Jazz's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ANiMaliZtIk View Post
    step one: join army
    step two: apply for sniper school
    step three: become an "ACE" sniper
    step four: seperate from ARMY
    step five: Apply for CIA special "investigations" unit, ps, you need a Masters degree in Criminal Justice.
    Step six: volunteer to off the president of the united states for actually working for the people and not against the people
    Step seven: assasinate the pres, become government fall guy
    step eight: become shot in the face as you are being escorted to your hearing
    step nine: be forever known by your first, middle, and last name
    step ten: there is no step ten, you are dead by now
    Lmao
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  28. #28
    Registered User NocturnalKnight's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ineed$ View Post
    You just feel the urge to kill?

    Let me ask you...

    would you be able to kill a hot girl?

    Would you be able to blow up a car with the target and his family (including kids)

    Would you be able to kill a mark that is a 15 years old?

    Can you fight well in hand to hand combat?

    Can you interrograte and torture people?


    I thought about becoming one but technology is too good these days. They will get you if you leave a fraction of your finger tip.
    Good points.

    I can't say I haven't thought about becoming a hitman myself (mainly because I fit the look and have some serious stealth/martial arts training), but then I thought about what it ACTUALLY entails *sigh*.
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  29. #29
    Banned Random907's Avatar
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    It's not hard, you just have to know people that need other people killed for money and then you go do it.

    The more proficient you are, the more dangerous the target, the amount of people are all factors to how much you can charge.
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  30. #30
    Smile Mister_E's Avatar
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    How to become a Hitman...

    Step 1. Get your mind prepared for mental flexing (meditation, breathing exercise, rest)

    Step 2. Go to your nearest library.

    Step 3. Look for a book title "I am a Hitman"

    Step 4. Enjoy your journey.


    Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high
    Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow

    I can be anything!
    Take a look, it's in a book - Reading Rainbow....


























    Last edited by Krokem; 03-20-2008 at 05:22 PM.
    Raiders
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