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  1. #1
    jumpshot like stocktonnn whosromeo's Avatar
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    Exclamation Rules that All Men Wish Women Knew

    Rules that guys wished girls knew..........

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
    3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
    4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
    if he can find the perfect present, again!
    5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.
    6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
    7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
    to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
    monster trucks.
    8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
    every other cat.
    9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
    10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.
    11. Shopping is not sport.
    12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
    13. You have enough clothes.
    14. You have too many shoes.
    15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to
    like it.
    16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
    your Dad probably is too.
    17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
    18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
    anniversaries on a calendar.
    19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
    point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
    20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think
    we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
    with your dress?
    21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
    22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
    24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    25. Check your oil.
    26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
    27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
    28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
    together.
    29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
    argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
    30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
    expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
    the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
    32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know
    how pretty you are?
    33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
    34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
    it done- not both.
    35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.
    36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
    37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right
    to complain about having their boobs stared at.
    38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
    you do.
    39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are
    airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's
    certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
    40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
    the first two months we were going out.
    41. Anyone can buy condoms.

    http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Rul...irls_Knew.html
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  2. #2
    Registered User UnaChispita's Avatar
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    Age 20
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  3. #3
    Banned latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    actually I liked some of those
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  4. #4
    Registered User UnaChispita's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    actually I liked some of those
    Oh I did too and some of them are right on the money about men. I just think the first time OP's girlfriend asks him: "Do these pants make my butt look big?" and he says "yes" he will regret it!

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  5. #5
    Banned latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UnaChispita View Post
    Oh I did too and some of them are right on the money about men. I just think the first time OP's girlfriend asks him: "Do these pants make my butt look big?" and he says "yes" he will regret it!

    depends on how much he likes his girlfriend
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  6. #6
    Registered User Squatticus's Avatar
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    Need to add something about colors... Only colors I know are the ones that make my tv Purdy, no I don't know wtf salmon or whatever these made up colors are
    IG: kenneth_prime
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  7. #7
    Banned SultanaK's Avatar
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    I've never understood the not cutting your hair one. Short hair looks great on some women.
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  8. #8
    Registered User Botika's Avatar
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    My husband always put the toilet seat down. There is a reason toilets have lids... so that the dirty water isn't sprayed into the room (ie all over your toothbrush) and so the room doesn't stink!!
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  9. #9
    Registered User yummycow's Avatar
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    Hmm.. I've never know a toilet lid to stop any stink that comes from a toilet.

    The only time I have a problem with guys leaving the seat up is at 2A.M. when I'm not exactly observant -_-

    Oh and missing the pot, if you can't put the piss where it belongs then clean it up. What the hell man? I ain't your nanny.
    “A free people ought not only be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government” -George Washington

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=149057133
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  10. #10
    Buell American Sportbikes g35sedan's Avatar
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    I'd like to add one more... If I'm stopping somewhere to get something to eat on the way home and I call you and ask you if you want anything in which you reply "no I'll just eat something here or no I just ate," don't eat my food when I get home you had your chance, you declined. Don't think just because you changed your mind my food is now free game. /end rant
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  11. #11
    Mr Flexy's Happy Protégé LisaSkinnoble's Avatar
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    Strong urge to neg OP. I thought with the new mod regime we were done this asinine crap.
    No drama: You know where we are.

    Hello and welcome to our newest member jackbauer.

    Meet stats:
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    Aug 2017 - 245/125/285
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  12. #12
    occasional visitor stephanielynn76's Avatar
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    "Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out."

    I lol'ed.
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  13. #13
    Registered User Squatticus's Avatar
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    edit: ^in after heavenly blessed beauty/ potential future ex wife
    Originally Posted by LisaSkinnoble View Post
    Strong urge to neg OP. I thought with the new mod regime we were done this asinine crap.
    Pretty sure he meant this jokingly...dont see anything in there thats meant to be offensive
    IG: kenneth_prime
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  14. #14
    Don't be a fool... evansanity's Avatar
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    Ha. But srs, no way would I go out with a girl that did any of that...
    You ever see A Bug's Life? Guess who the ants are...
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  15. #15
    Buell American Sportbikes g35sedan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Squatticus View Post
    Pretty sure he meant this jokingly...dont see anything in there thats meant to be offensive
    Strong this
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  16. #16
    Mr Flexy's Happy Protégé LisaSkinnoble's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Squatticus View Post
    edit: ^in after heavenly blessed beauty/ potential future ex wife
    Pretty sure he meant this jokingly...dont see anything in there thats meant to be offensive
    Originally Posted by g35sedan View Post
    Strong this
    Thanks for setting me straight lads. Where would I be without you boys telling me how to interpret the written word?

    Your efforts notwithstanding, my finger's on the neg cannon.
    No drama: You know where we are.

    Hello and welcome to our newest member jackbauer.

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  17. #17
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    Originally Posted by SultanaK View Post
    I've never understood the not cutting your hair one. Short hair looks great on some women.
    I think it looks great, too. But "the joke" (I think) is more about getting your hair done at all, rather than the length. If the guy doesn't notice ("honey, notice anything different about me?") either he's obtuse, or perhaps the new 'do is not significantly different. Either way, he's gonna be in trouble ...
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by whosromeo View Post
    Rules that guys wished girls knew..........

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
    3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
    4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
    if he can find the perfect present, again!
    5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.
    6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
    7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
    to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
    monster trucks.
    8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
    every other cat.
    9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
    10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.
    11. Shopping is not sport.
    12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
    13. You have enough clothes.
    14. You have too many shoes.
    15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to
    like it.
    16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and
    your Dad probably is too.

    17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
    18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
    anniversaries on a calendar.
    19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
    point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
    20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think
    we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good
    with your dress?
    21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
    22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
    24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    25. Check your oil.
    26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
    27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
    28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
    together.
    29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
    argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
    30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
    expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
    the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
    32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know
    how pretty you are?
    33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
    34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want
    it done- not both.
    35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
    commercials.
    36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
    37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right
    to complain about having their boobs stared at.
    38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like
    you do.
    39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are
    airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's
    certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
    40. The relationship is never going to be like it was
    the first two months we were going out.
    41. Anyone can buy condoms.

    http://www.anvari.org/fun/Gender/Rul...irls_Knew.html
    Feeling insecure?
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  19. #19
    Registered User absntraps69's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LisaSkinnoble View Post
    Strong urge to neg OP. I thought with the new mod regime we were done this asinine crap.
    Originally Posted by Squatticus View Post
    edit: ^in after heavenly blessed beauty/ potential future ex wife
    Pretty sure he meant this jokingly...dont see anything in there thats meant to be offensive
    Yep....
    I only rate 8 and 9's. you're arent a 10 deal with it

    Keep that up and I will give you something to cry about.
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  20. #20
    Banned aristomeow's Avatar
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    If I posted a male version in the misc I'd get negged.

    So in the interests of internet street justice...

    Negged.
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  21. #21
    what lol levijay's Avatar
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    I lol'd at this

    33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
    *used to lift crew*
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  22. #22
    Registered User Jayromes's Avatar
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    Sounds legit to me haha
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  23. #23
    Banned latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aristomeow View Post
    If I posted a male version in the misc I'd get negged.

    So in the interests of internet street justice...

    Negged.
    post one here if ya want
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  24. #24
    Banned aristomeow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    post one here if ya want
    Sure.

    1. Don't force us to shut up about the past. If we keep trying to talk about it, it's because we know eventually YOUR curiousity will get the better of you and you'll want to know every dirty disgusting detail.

    2. If you tell me to wear a longer skirt, I will wear higher heels.

    3. Your best female friend is a far bigger threat to our relationship than a random guy at a nightclub.

    4. Stop telling me I look good without makeup and I dont need to wear it. You fell in love with me when I was wearing it. It's staying.

    5. Yes, there's a fking difference between aqua and navy.

    6. Don't say you don't want any dessert and then eat mine.

    7. Don't make fun of my "girly" drink then keep sneaking sips of it.

    8. Yes, I'm fking asleep, it's 3 am, go fap, I have work in the morning.

    9. Peeing with the door open is not okay. "You've seen me naked who cares" is not a rational excuse.

    10. Ears should only be cleaned with qtips or specialised medication. Not a pen. Not a toothpick. Not your finger.

    11. Not everything can be flushed down the toilet.

    12. You're always "the best I've ever had". So don't ask.
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  25. #25
    building curves melodyjayne's Avatar
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    22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    Not correct advice...male needs to improve on his bedroom skills and help out with the dishes, problem solved : )
    Cheers,
    Mel x

    -Just because it burns, it doesn't mean your gonna die- (Pink)

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  26. #26
    Registered User UnaChispita's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by aristomeow View Post
    Sure.

    1. Don't force us to shut up about the past. If we keep trying to talk about it, it's because we know eventually YOUR curiousity will get the better of you and you'll want to know every dirty disgusting detail.

    2. If you tell me to wear a longer skirt, I will wear higher heels.

    3. Your best female friend is a far bigger threat to our relationship than a random guy at a nightclub.

    4. Stop telling me I look good without makeup and I dont need to wear it. You fell in love with me when I was wearing it. It's staying.

    5. Yes, there's a fking difference between aqua and navy.

    6. Don't say you don't want any dessert and then eat mine.

    7. Don't make fun of my "girly" drink then keep sneaking sips of it.

    8. Yes, I'm fking asleep, it's 3 am, go fap, I have work in the morning.

    9. Peeing with the door open is not okay. "You've seen me naked who cares" is not a rational excuse.

    10. Ears should only be cleaned with qtips or specialised medication. Not a pen. Not a toothpick. Not your finger.

    11. Not everything can be flushed down the toilet.

    12. You're always "the best I've ever had". So don't ask.
    13. Leave the 'effing tv remote alone during commercial breaks. The incessant flipping through channels is infuriating.

    14. Yes. All of those shoes are necessary.

    15. No. A magical dish fairy does not clear the table. That is me.

    16. Anyone can pay for birth control pills.
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  27. #27
    Banned aristomeow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UnaChispita View Post
    13. Leave the 'effing tv remote alone during commercial breaks. The incessant flipping through channels is infuriating.

    14. Yes. All of those shoes are necessary.

    15. No. A magical dish fairy does not clear the table. That is me.

    16. Anyone can pay for birth control pills.
    I'm glad you put in #13 lol, I was like aw crap I forgot the most important one.

    17. I'm not doing all the cooking because I'm generous. I'm doing it because you are a fire hazard.
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  28. #28
    Registered User Botika's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by melodyjayne View Post
    22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    Not correct advice...male needs to improve on his bedroom skills and help out with the dishes, problem solved : )

    Ha ha! Yes housework is the best foreplay! LOL
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  29. #29
    Registered User Ascendedlife's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Botika View Post
    Ha ha! Yes housework is the best foreplay! LOL

    So thats why my friend's GF was looking at me funny when she saw me doing the dishes the other day.

    hmmm...
    Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one's potential.

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  30. #30
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    Originally Posted by Botika View Post
    Ha ha! Yes housework is the best foreplay! LOL
    Originally Posted by Ascendedlife View Post
    So thats why my friend's GF was looking at me funny when she saw me doing the dishes the other day.

    hmmm...
    This is true LMAO.
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