I found a stethoscope and a prescription pad under our bed today.
His friend says, "Well my wife is apparently cheating with a railroad conductor"
First guy says "How do you know?"
"I found a ****in railroad conductor under the bed"
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Results 1 to 30 of 262
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11-25-2010, 10:17 AM #1Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
A man says to his friend: "My wife is cheating with a doctor"
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11-25-2010, 10:19 AM #2lifetime contract
- Join Date: Jun 2009
- Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
- Age: 33
- Posts: 3,880
- Rep Power: 2178
*top tier ivy because grandpa donated half the buildings crew*
*family coat of arms in our foyer crew*
*have to breathe into a paper bag if i see a guy juicier than me crew*
*adrenaline rush when a girl looks in my direction crew*
*rush home from the gym to admire my pump crew*
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11-25-2010, 10:23 AM #3Virgin
- Join Date: Nov 2010
- Location: Toronto, Ont, Canada
- Age: 33
- Posts: 1,755
- Rep Power: 349
A man is walking and stumbles uopn a magic lamp. And out comes a genie. The genie says i will grant you three wishes and what ever you wish for you're wife gets double.
Man: i wish for a new car.
Genie: you're wife gets double
Man: i wish for a mansion
Genie: you're wife gets double
For his final wish the man says: Beat me half to death.No fap day 6 (updated daily)
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11-25-2010, 10:34 AM #4Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both have handlebars. Except the duck doesn't.
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11-25-2010, 10:35 AM #5Registered User
- Join Date: Jan 2010
- Location: United States
- Posts: 2,863
- Rep Power: 1836
bump
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11-25-2010, 10:38 AM #6Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
A guy gets sent to prison for 5 years. As soon as he's locked in his cell a huge black guy gets off of the bunkbeds and says "You have a choice, you can either be the husband or the wife." The newly jailed guy thinks to himself: well I sure as **** ain't gonna be the wife and he tells the black guy "Ill be the husband."
Then the black guy says...
"Okay then, get over here and suck your wife's dick."
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11-25-2010, 10:38 AM #7Banned
- Join Date: Sep 2009
- Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
- Age: 33
- Posts: 6,356
- Rep Power: 0
Originally Posted by radkhman
lmao
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11-25-2010, 10:41 AM #8Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2008
- Location: Los Angeles, California, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 498
- Rep Power: 285
damnOriginally Posted by Betep
B:325
S:385
DL:495
come at me
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11-25-2010, 10:42 AM #9♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪
- Join Date: Apr 2010
- Posts: 19,089
- Rep Power: 6010
strong buzzcutOriginally Posted by CezTec
RIP mainsqueeze530
"Rustle your opponents jimmies from afar." - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Mods - I don't have multiple accounts, asked for old accounts be banned, never had two open at one time.
Misc - you don't have to rep me back lol, in return no rep begging pls tx
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11-25-2010, 10:45 AM #10Registered User
- Join Date: Jan 2007
- Location: United States
- Posts: 4,137
- Rep Power: 2183
not gonna lie. i lol'dOriginally Posted by radkhman
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11-25-2010, 10:48 AM #11Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"The police. I'm afraid there's been a serious road traffic accident; your partner is in intensive care."
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11-25-2010, 10:50 AM #12Stylin on You 24/7
- Join Date: Dec 2006
- Posts: 6,334
- Rep Power: 1932
betep all your jokes suck dick
**I move away from the mic. to flex**
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11-25-2010, 10:50 AM #13Banned
- Join Date: Nov 2010
- Location: Baltimore, Maryland, United States
- Age: 33
- Posts: 1,307
- Rep Power: 0
lol'dOriginally Posted by radkhman
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11-25-2010, 10:53 AM #14Doin' it for my momma!
- Join Date: Jun 2010
- Location: Netherlands
- Age: 38
- Posts: 2,087
- Rep Power: 714
Betep your jokes suck brah.
1 star thread = 1 star thread''I work out so women have more Marcel to touch, love and grab.''
- MssV187
Former Royal Netherlands Army Medic
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11-25-2010, 10:54 AM #15♠ 500 lb Bench Club ♠
- Join Date: Nov 2008
- Location: Oregon, United States
- Age: 37
- Posts: 4,248
- Rep Power: 26327
why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
for drizzle†Misc Car Crew†
2000 Corvette Frc. 427 stroker. 560rwhp/500rwtq
♠Misc Strength Crew♠ Forever bulking
Bench - 530- 10/17/14
Squat - 570- 6/8/16
Deadlift -475 (not current)
Total- 1570
My 530 lb bench press at 237 lbs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS1i0sRS1xw
I rep back 10k+
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11-25-2010, 11:00 AM #16Registered User
- Join Date: Aug 2010
- Location: United States
- Age: 34
- Posts: 991
- Rep Power: 0
loldOriginally Posted by Betep
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11-25-2010, 11:03 AM #17Team Culdasack
- Join Date: Oct 2010
- Location: Washington, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 626
- Rep Power: 195
What did one gay mortitioner say to the other?
Wanna go in the back and suck down a few cold ones?ϞϞSocial Anxiety CrewϞϞ
* Ulcerative Colitis Crew *
"be friendly and make quality posts."
~Larry
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11-25-2010, 11:06 AM #18Registered User
- Join Date: Jul 2010
- Age: 34
- Posts: 497
- Rep Power: 314
an englishman, irishman and scots man walk into a bar,
and the entire scene unfolds with tedious inevitability
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11-25-2010, 11:06 AM #19Banned
- Join Date: Feb 2010
- Location: Miami, Florida, United States
- Age: 40
- Posts: 4,143
- Rep Power: 0
lolOriginally Posted by spectre86
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11-25-2010, 12:07 PM #20Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
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11-25-2010, 12:10 PM #21BasedWorld
- Join Date: Sep 2009
- Location: California, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 1,453
- Rep Power: 1211
Rep back 100% of the time.
1K+
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11-25-2010, 12:12 PM #22lmfaoOriginally Posted by Betep
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11-25-2010, 12:12 PM #23thought it was going to be something about running trainOriginally Posted by Betep
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11-25-2010, 12:15 PM #24Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2003
- Location: California, United States
- Age: 40
- Posts: 16,726
- Rep Power: 9548
fuking lolOriginally Posted by Betep
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11-25-2010, 12:17 PM #25Kobe The GOATBE
- Join Date: Apr 2009
- Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, United States
- Posts: 63,142
- Rep Power: 179845
Originally Posted by spectre86
"ERMUHGAWD Crew"
"ERMUHGAW LOL...."
"Oh you, ERMUHGAWD!"
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11-25-2010, 12:18 PM #26my job title is douchebag
- Join Date: Jun 2009
- Posts: 10,972
- Rep Power: 24467
lmfao
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11-25-2010, 12:25 PM #27Registered User
- Join Date: Nov 2010
- Age: 35
- Posts: 206
- Rep Power: 217
A Jewish pilot and a Chinese co-pilot are getting ready for take-off and immediately you can tell the two hate eachother. When the plane reached cruising altitude, the jewish pilot set the plane on auto-pilot and quietly muttered to himself "i dont like chinese"
The chinese co-pilot said "you no like chinese, why you no like"?
jewish pilot: "Because you guys bombed pearl harbor"
chinese: "dat not us dat japanese"
Jewish: "Chinese, japanese, all the same s.hit"
Chinese: "well i no like jews"
Jewish: "why not"
Chinese: "You guys sank the titanic"
Jewish: "That wasnt us, that was an iceberg"
Chinese: "Iceberg, goldberg, all the same s.hit."
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11-25-2010, 01:53 PM #28Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
A plane flying over a jungle malfunctions and crashes. The only survivor, a middle aged man, climbs out of the wreckage and starts to explore the area around the crash site. The man finds some water and food and shortly afterward he is surrounded by a tribe of natives who heard the huge commotion and followed the smoke spewing out of the plane. One of the spear wielding natives comes forward and explains to the man in crude English, "You only have two choices, death or tomba." The man, fearful for his life after just surviving a plane crash agrees to the tomba.
The next day, after being ass ****ed by all the men in the tribe, the same native asks the man again, "Today is a new day, death or tomba?" The man, sobbing from the cruelty and physical pain decides he cannot go through another tomba ritual, and that he would rather keep his dignity and die, so he asks for death.
So the natives tomba'd him to death
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11-25-2010, 03:22 PM #29Ю Майрын?
- Join Date: Apr 2008
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 35
- Posts: 10,410
- Rep Power: 24358
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11-25-2010, 03:37 PM #30Registered User
- Join Date: Oct 2010
- Age: 34
- Posts: 1,991
- Rep Power: 0
Two men are canoeing through a rain forest when they hit rapids and wash up on the river's edge. A nearby village of cannibals hears them and they are immediately taken prisoner. The two men are taken to the tribe's leader, who tells them, "First we're going to kill you, then we're going to eat you, and finally we're going to use your skins to waterproof our canoes. We're not savages, though - we'll let you choose how you die."
The first man says, "I'm Japanese, so give me a samurai sword." They give him a sword and he carries out seppuku. The second man says, "I'm a New Yorker, so give me a fork." The cannibals are confused, but get the man a fork, and he proceeds to stab himself multiple times all over his body.
"Why are you doing this?" asks the tribe's leader.
"To hell with your canoes," replies the New Yorker.
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