Things we do or have done that we would never tell anyone In Real Life (srs)(gtfih)

[carnage1985]

Stayed the night at my girlfriends house and she was on her period that night and tired so we didn't phuk. I went into her sisters room and fapped and came on her face in her sleep. I told her I was getting lotion for my girlfriend and spilled it, dumb bish believed me.

Awesome

[wildphucker]

ok ill confess, be gentle misc











once I was fapping on my bed and felt a poop coming on. A turtlehead popped out of my angus, and in some temporary moment of insanity, I grabbed it out of my pants and popped into my mouth. It was a vile disgusting bitter tasting mess, and I instantly ran to the bathroom and threw up shtty poo vomit.


Never told or will tell anyone. I take that to my grave,

[Zamakaze]

ok ill confess, be gentle misc











once I was fapping on my bed and felt a poop coming on. A turtlehead popped out of my angus, and in some temporary moment of insanity, I grabbed it out of my pants and popped into my mouth. It was a vile disgusting bitter tasting mess, and I instantly ran to the bathroom and threw up shtty poo vomit.


Never told or will tell anyone. I take that to my grave,

Wtf did I just read...

What did it taste like? Does it taste way it smells?

[TAS44]

-have fapped in several odd places. was never caught (public restrooms, my car, in class, with people in the same room sleeping, in my friends couch, on the back of a school bus)
-have done homo things with friends when I was like 9-10. no anal/oral, just touching.
-have 4 level 80's in WoW. I don't play anymore though.
-was drunk and kissed a random girl at a party while she was sleeping.
-have **** myself before

[MuscleTransform]

- Before discovering masturbation, I used to get really horny at night and since I didn't want to have pre cum on my bed I would roll a bunch of tissues around my dick and I used a rubber band to hold it while I humped the bed. (One time did this in a hotel with my younger brother sleeping)
- Used to hump the bed until I got exhausted, to be able to sleep at night.
- When I couldn't sleep, I would fantasize about ****ing my hot teacher (she had dat ass !!!)
- When I was young, me and my cousins peed in a bottle and mixed it with other **** soap, shampoo, perfume, etc... thinking we would achieve ultimate strength when we drank it ... (Fortunately I didn't drink it although I did drink it without the pee .. :/ )
- While taking a dump at school, I realize there isn't anything to clean my ass with, so I had no choice but to use my boxers to wipe my ass.
-I still play with action figures .... (I actually played today it was Iron man vs Leonardo TMNT)

That's it ..... I guess
Rep if you enjoy ;$

[TrollorT]

- Before discovering masturbation, I used to get really horny at night and since I didn't want to have pre cum on my bed I would roll a bunch of tissues around my dick and I used a rubber band to hold it while I humped the bed. (One time did this in a hotel with my younger brother sleeping)
- Used to hump the bed until I got exhausted, to be able to sleep at night.
- When I couldn't sleep, I would fantasize about ****ing my hot teacher (she had dat ass !!!)
- When I was young, me and my cousins peed in a bottle and mixed it with other **** soap, shampoo, perfume, etc... thinking we would achieve ultimate strength when we drank it ... (Fortunately I didn't drink it although I did drink it without the pee .. :/ )
- While taking a dump at school, I realize there isn't anything to clean my ass with, so I had no choice but to use my boxers to wipe my ass.
-I still play with action figures .... (I actually played today it was Iron man vs Leonardo TMNT)

That's it ..... I guess
Rep if you enjoy ;$

was ok with everything and lol'd hard right here. dat wording.



you reminded me though... one halloween me and the boyz ran amuck spraying people with a squirt gun. it was a mixture of water, shaving cream, piss and....... all of our jizz. no homo. took turns fapping into separate water bottles then poured it in. WAT.


not me but, one kid in our class fapped into batter before making cupcakes for the school. we had a bake sale and he thought it would be lulzy to do so. thank god I didn't eat any of his busted ass cupcakes; he was the pour dirty kid.

both happened between 7th and 8th grade

[SuperHybrid]

bumping for more epicness

[F63]

weirdos ITT

[NedStark]

I tried to suk my dink
I maked out with my bro, (he was like 4) when I was 7 I saw some *******s on tv do it, fuk Im a *******.... Idk maybe it was a nightmare i cant rlly remember it but i think we did... if i did im definetly on ******* level.

[maori-rap]

When I was like 19-20 I went through a wierd stage of would-be exhibitionism.

This included **** like dancing nekkid at my bedroom window at like midnight and later for 15 minutes plus with the lights on...in an attempt to get myself of. Venturing into front garden nekkid during broad daylight and basically sitting on the pavement totally starkers for several seconds-this was a fairly busy road and I was in view of so many other houses it wasn't funny. Sitting on the front porch roof nekkid and just allowing cars to go by and possibly see me. This continued until I was spotted and a guy came to the front door angrily and complained that he had seen a naked teen (I was actually 20) on the roof.

Pretty much got a grip after that and kept it indoors.

[lolumirinph4got]

- once i was sharing a bed with a friend, queen size bed. he fell asleep, i fapped, then rubbed teh semen in his hair.

- when i was like 15, a friend and i flopped out our pennisses and compared sizes

- i took a **** in the shower once and stomped it down the drain.. smeltbadman

[TrollorT]

wat the fuk?

brb totally starkers

[SteroidMcbeefy]

drank too much before sleeping and ended up dreaming i was taking a piss. well was irl aswell and i woke up with pee all over my bed. was around 14 years old i think.

I've done this more than once...beyond age 14.

[cottagecheeez]

Had a tranny porn phase ~6 months ago.


Apart from that not much.

[smbrown3706]

fuked ops mom

fukkd ops dad

fukkd op

fukked myself

lol, best combo ever

[TrollorT]

Had a tranny porn phase ~6 months ago.


Apart from that not much.

strong sig to post ratio

groce

[cottagecheeez]

strong sig to post ratio

groce

[TrollorT]

[Alexallthetime]

Gave a girl 4 severed rabbit feet for her birthday in a ziplock bag. (SRS)

We lived in the mountains and me and my buddy hunted a rabbit with a BB gun the night before.

She had dem teddies.

[slinshot]

-Was in Ghana working, had funky dinner, as I'm walking up to the bar sneak fart attack, told friend walking with me. Walk to bathroom it is confirmed, not a single **** was given proceeded to go to the bar and drink for 2 hours along with my new-born baby.

[EssexBrah]

Some guy threw his urine at my house windows, so i **** in a bag and wrote kunt on his.

sometimes when my balls are sweaty i like to smell em, it smells nice.

fingered a girl whe i was like 6, didnt know that it was sexual.

[Gooner89]

My parents were never around as a kid because of work so I spent a lot of nights at a friends house and would stay over. His mom was like a second mother to me and was the nicest lady I had ever met. I was obsessed with her for some reason even though looking back she was 5/10 at best. So i'm staying over one night (i'm 13 at the time) and my friend falls asleep. I don't know what came over me but the next thing I know I am creeping towards her room. I open her door and crawl near her bed and start to jerk it. I am almost finished when she suddenly wakes up and starts screaming as if her life is about to end. I quickly fall backwards into her dresser and start screaming JUST as I explode some proteins and tuck in my junk. She turns on her lamp and starts yelling (is divorced so no husband next to her) and I pretend to look stunned and scared, asking where I was claiming to have just woken up from "sleep walking" which I did frequently back then. I begin to fake semi tear up from my "embarrassment" so she calms me down and gives me a hug. I'm fairly sure she saw my pants and figured I had pissed myself from fear. I go to the bathroom and clean up then go back downstairs. Not a single word was ever said about what happened. I remember not being able to sleep with the biggest grin on my face that whole night.

[GlassAtmosphere]

My close friends know these things but I make sure nobody outside of that circle finds out.

I take pictures of my poops if I think they look beautiful enough.
I write on the walls with my turds or I write on paper if I'm lazy (takes too much work to get poop off the walls)
I'm extremely paranoid & everynight I lay in bed expecting somebody to break in & try to kill me & my family, so I plot how I'll get everyone out safely & kill the person that's entered my home.
I'm sexually attracted to cats. I know it would be wrong if I did anything sexual with them so awhile back when they'd really turn me on, I'd gently bite on their sides, not hard enough for them to feel it. Kind of like gumming them.
When I was a kid I thought my teddy bear impregnated me. Took a year for me to realize I wasn't pregnant.
I've gone weeks without showering a few times. Sometimes I like to go without showering for a few days & sit with my legs spread & smell my crotch funk.

See, I tell my close friends stuff like this because I can't help but to laugh at myself, & I want to share the lulz.

[sum41gp]

When I was really depressed last year, I would stand in front of my bathroom mirror and cut a line into my face with a box cutter. Did this for two weeks straight because I was worried it wouldn't scar. Can't honestly say why I did it now, but I just remember doing it night after night listening to this damn song:



Now I've got this scar that's really noticeable when my face gets red or out in the sun. Dad asked me about it this past summer while we were working on his boat, and I told him I had gotten into a fight and the kid punched me with a ring.

[Devon501]

- Before discovering masturbation, I used to get really horny at night and since I didn't want to have pre cum on my bed I would roll a bunch of tissues around my dick and I used a rubber band to hold it while I humped the bed. (One time did this in a hotel with my younger brother sleeping)
- Used to hump the bed until I got exhausted, to be able to sleep at night.
- When I couldn't sleep, I would fantasize about ****ing my hot teacher (she had dat ass !!!)
- When I was young, me and my cousins peed in a bottle and mixed it with other **** soap, shampoo, perfume, etc... thinking we would achieve ultimate strength when we drank it ... (Fortunately I didn't drink it although I did drink it without the pee .. :/ )
- While taking a dump at school, I realize there isn't anything to clean my ass with, so I had no choice but to use my boxers to wipe my ass.
-I still play with action figures .... (I actually played today it was Iron man vs Leonardo TMNT)

That's it ..... I guess
Rep if you enjoy ;$

Brah I use to hump the bed to, could actually climax after enough vigorous thrusting (no homo). Best day ever when I discovered the art of fapping (semi srs)

Any of you *******s ever 'circle jerk'? My friend says he use to masturbate with his other friends when he was really young. I bertstared him and told him thats weird/****gy as phuck but he makes out its more common than you think. I've never heard of anyone else do that though

[vegliv]

If I get too drunk I'll piss with friends in semi-public places (side of a house, behind a bar, front of an apt building, parking lot...).
I've experimented with swinging.
Before I tried ganj I smoked oregano from a tin can out my bedroom window to see if I could tolerate the smoke.
I wasn't sure if I was straight a couple years ago and went down on a girl.

Why does it seem men have a fascination with their ****.

[chevy72blu]

When I was about 15 I walked at least 6 miles each way to bang a legit 4/10. Strongest butter face you have ever seen... horrible acne.

I am still disgust.


edit: would have been a 2/10 if not for decent body and teddies.

I've never told a soul and I'll take it to my grave (srs).

[Zamakaze]

You phucked someone when you were 9? Da ****?

[SuperHybrid]

If I get too drunk I'll piss with friends in semi-public places (side of a house, behind a bar, front of an apt building, parking lot...).

Used to do this when drunk too because all the clubs close at like 3-4am here, McDs is usually open but doesn't let anyone use the bathrooms so gotta get creative.

[ThCweights]

If I get too drunk I'll piss with friends in semi-public places (side of a house, behind a bar, front of an apt building, parking lot...).
I've experimented with swinging.
Before I tried ganj I smoked oregano from a tin can out my bedroom window to see if I could tolerate the smoke.
I wasn't sure if I was straight a couple years ago and went down on a girl.

Why does it seem men have a fascination with their ****.

Go on......