Got kicked out of planet fitness today... They didn't refund me money either.

[MrMeatwhistle]

Hey guys I got lucky to go to a planet fitness that actually had a barbell ( they are supposed to be on the bench but I take them off and deadlift with them. Luckily for me, the rules of no deadlifting doesn't apply since nobody in their knows what a deadlift is. )

Well anyway, I usually fap in the bathroom when I go because they don't allow chalk and I don't want to fail because of bad grip, and I don't have straps. So I cum all over my hands and then smear the cum onto the knurling and then grip the bar. ( I've been doing this for like a month, you should see how the bar looks lol. )


So I was warming up and had 2 plates on, warming up and it was easy as ****.

A crowd appears full of everybody there, and everybody starts calling me saxon, and a monster. This was the most amount of weight any of them have ever seen moved ( well aside from when they walk in front of the mirror lol )

Well anyway I have the crowd and I got 3 plates on the bar now, i'm deadlifting and these people are amazed. After I get 5 reps, I say to myself. It's PR time caputano, lets roll.

So I load a 5 to each side now, to make 325 lbs. The crowd roars with fright, everyone was scared... I heard a few shouts of you will break your back, and we need our hero to be safe.

I go to budge it, and I couldn't hold it much. I realize that the cum grip isn't helping and I need to get something to stick to my hands.

So I yell your hero will be back, go to the bathroom... and spank the monkey, now I come back to the bar and stick my hands on the bar and smear some of it in. I go and get 3 reps, and have everyone cheering my name and my name goes onto the board that says best weightlifter ( I beat out the guy who did 80 lbs dumbbell bench press, never been so proud. )

But when I raise my hands up to celebrate and wave to them, they saw all of the cum on my palms from the load I just shot.


And they sounded the lunk alarm.

[UNC_Bball]

no cliffs, no read

[tacubaya]

[Gorty]

red no cliffs lol

[MrMeatwhistle]

no cliffs, no read

Cliffs-

Went to planet fitness.

Deadlifted the most amount of weight in that gym ever, and had everyone mirin.

I can't use chalk there and I needed something for grip, so I fap and use the cum and smear it on the bar.

Everyone watching me deadlift 325 lbs for a set of 5.

I wave to them and they see the cum on my palms.

I get kicked out.

[rckrdude]

lmao you may be red but that was a funny ass post.

[HollywoodBody]

lol all I read from OP was "deadlift" and "lunk alarm"

no idea what the ****ing 2nd thing is, but you can't deadlift in planet fitness, everyone knows that. You can only work out your glutes and abs, cause it's a ****ing gym for chicks. Not even strong chicks. Strong chicks would go to a real gym.

Go join a real gym, deadlift squat and grunt away! hoorah

[Calborn]

i lul'd

[MrMeatwhistle]

lol all I read from OP was "deadlift" and "lunk alarm"

no idea what the ****ing 2nd thing is, but you can't deadlift in planet fitness, everyone knows that. You can only work out your glutes and abs, cause it's a ****ing gym for chicks. Not even strong chicks. Strong chicks would go to a real gym.

Go join a real gym, deadlift squat and grunt away! hoorah

What second thing, I was fapping...

[MrMeatwhistle]

i lul'd

What is the misc coming to where manlets don't rep fellow manlets who are in red and made them laugh?


This ain't the misc I remember...

[WhiskeyBent3]

hahahahaa

[LivinGood]

Just watch it.

[HollywoodBody]

What second thing, I was fapping...

lunk alarm. I googled it though lolz