You guys are the experts...mind lending a shortie a hand?
What are the signs you can trust a man?
Signs of a player?
When to stay? when to bolt?
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06-15-2008, 09:31 AM #1
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06-15-2008, 09:35 AM #2
- Join Date: May 2008
- Location: Florida, United States
- Posts: 14,033
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Does he keep his cell phone conversations pretty private?
You'll know if he's dividing his attention with other people or not.
As for trusting a guy - I guess you have to find out for yourself.
Dating is just the interview process that helps you determine if you can trust someone or not. Knowing right away if you can or can't would defeat the whole purpose of it all.
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06-15-2008, 09:39 AM #3
You're probably dealing with a player if:
-he's very rigid about when and where to see you...never in a very public place and seems to be on a schedule.
-inexplicably busy a lot of the time(not saying you should always be keeping tabs on him demanding to know his whereabouts 24/7 but you'll get the feeling if something's not right)
As for when you can trust someone, you'll have to use your best judgement for that. I will say that someone who's always trying to appear super trustworthy is usually the LEAST trustworthy person. I had a friend like this who was always like "dude, you know I always got your back" blah, blah, blah. Come to find out he was talking ish about me behind my back. He was also always trying to endear himself to the girls we both knew a lot; come to find out he was always cheating on his GF and got mad when they found out.Friendship b/w women:
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a girlfriend's place. Her husband calls 10 of her best friends. None know anything about it.
Friendship b/w men:
A man doesn't come home one night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's place. His wife calls 10 of the husband's best friends. 8 of them confirm he slept over, the other 2 claim he's still there.
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06-15-2008, 09:41 AM #4
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06-15-2008, 09:46 AM #5
I agree with these two. As for keeping his phone calls private; this doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating or has someone else on the side. For some reason I always prefer to keep my calls private, I just don't like to be around others when talking on the phone (no idea why), and I usually step out of the room if I get a call. It drove my last girlfriend crazy, she was always suspicious that I was doing something behind her back when I wasn't (and never would). So, just keep that in mind.
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06-15-2008, 10:00 AM #6
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06-15-2008, 10:03 AM #7
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06-15-2008, 10:04 AM #8
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06-15-2008, 10:05 AM #9
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06-15-2008, 10:20 AM #10
- Join Date: Oct 2006
- Location: California, United States
- Posts: 3,335
- Rep Power: 9396
Basically a player would tell you what you want to hear. He would lie just about anything to get in to your pants.
You would sense it if a guy is a player, ******* if he does one of the few things listed below:
- texting and making calls ( this is sooo disrespectful especially at the first date)
- only calls you in the weekend around nighttime or close to 11 pm or midnight. ( BOOTY CALL ALERT!!!!! lol)
- He says he have a lot of girl friends and only a very few guy friends. ( common now guys and girls can't be friends....... in most cases) ( Most likely he's ****ing half of his girl friends or better yet "friends with benefit")
-You never hang out with his friends at all
- He doesn't take out you out. The only place that you and him been to is his pad. (Very very very bad sign)
-He doesn't make any attempt at all to call you or text you. VEry few times he will text you and it will be around night time ( Booty call)
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06-15-2008, 10:22 AM #11
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06-15-2008, 10:28 AM #12
- Join Date: Oct 2007
- Location: Temple, Texas, United States
- Age: 36
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- Rep Power: 1120
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06-15-2008, 10:30 AM #13
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06-15-2008, 10:33 AM #14
If he rides in a Jeep and people call him brah, don't trust him.
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06-15-2008, 10:38 AM #15
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06-15-2008, 10:40 AM #16
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06-15-2008, 10:40 AM #17**B.S. in Nutrition and Food Science**
**Registered Dietitian**
"We learn wisdom from failure much more than from success; we often discover what will do, by finding out what will not do; and probably he who never make a mistake never made a discovery."
"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."
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06-15-2008, 10:55 AM #18
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06-15-2008, 11:58 AM #19
Wow.
Dividing his attention and reserved about it, yes.
You're right for sure, dating is an interviewing process.
Hhmm...what does that mean if a lot of my friends and guy friends claim they always got me? **worried**
That was a joke. Please refer to my "shortie rant" in female misc. I dont normally speak that way...oh wait, I do. *crap*
I'm a complete goofball out of the office...I joke all day long and don't take myself too seriously. Is this a problem moving from friends to something more, if I already established myself that way?
Got it. Must look at bigger picture.
Many of my guy friends are extremely humble, but I feel it is often an act...is this game?
Thanks, dear. I'll remember that. *rollseyes* No really, I am speaking of talking to men WAY before this point.
Chill? explain more please.
Hhmmm..sounds like something a player would say?
Thanks for the thoughtful and detailed response. *sigh*
Sounds like either you or some girlfriends have had some run-ins?
Yes, I'm watching you~
*crap* Does this mean you can never trust a good-looking man? Male nature plus easy access to women equals not being able to trust?
Really?
*lol* I'm not! Is that you?!
Seems we are forming a consensus?
Interested.
Actually, I have, and the male misc. scares the hell outta me!
I really do not want to believe a lot of men are that cold, heartless, opportunistic, and self-serving...refuse to believe. Hoping for the best, I suppose.
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06-15-2008, 12:06 PM #20
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06-15-2008, 01:21 PM #21
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06-15-2008, 01:22 PM #22
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06-15-2008, 01:25 PM #23
try to get your man to get a myspace account. if he doesnt have one say oh come on its fun get one you can talk to your friends etc etc etc
then 5 months later, go to the mall or 21 year old girl modeling place and find the hottest girls and talk to one and say "hey uhh can you help me i wanna see if my boyfriend is a cheating player. he doesnt know you. msg his myspace and talk for a little bit then ask him to come over to your place and if he goes there and has sex with you then im breaking up with him"
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06-15-2008, 01:30 PM #24
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06-15-2008, 01:39 PM #25
- Join Date: Jun 2004
- Location: Rocky River, Ohio, United States
- Age: 46
- Posts: 257
- Rep Power: 1276
Having a good judge of character helps a lot. Refer to qualities of your guy friends you say seem humble. Do the guys you talk to carry certain traits? Do your guy friends seem to click very well with guys that you bring around them?
Most guys who act and dress like guidos, have high chances of being players. If you are looking towards the best looking/dressed guys in he room, chances are your gonna get played(Not being prejudice towards good looking people.
Also depends on you as well. Your character itself could decide for any guy player or not if he wants to be monogamous.
I mean, ****, you could be crazy? (no serious)
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06-15-2008, 01:46 PM #26
I personally think it's hard to spot a player or even an honest person. Because players pretend to be honest, and to be interested in the person, for more than just the booty call or whatever. It's all a game and an act, so it's not that easy to spot a player.
Also you can't say that a person is a player, if they always have something to do, or maybe rescheduling or is hard to get in contact with. If that's the case, a busy man would be considered a player. People have their own lives, and sometimes they need to focus on that more than making a relationship with someone. That's just how things are.
I suggest if you're worried if a guy is playing you, is to not put too much emotion into it. Also, if you give it up to him and have sex, and he starts showing no interest, that could be an obvious sign that he just wanted to hit it and leave. So if you could make the time between meeting him and sleeping with him longer, and he doesn't seem like he wants to run off or something, then you can say you have a good man there who's definitely not in it for games.ready to look like Omarion "http://allthatsfab.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Omarion-e12.jpg"
"It's one thing to be a good person, it's another to be nice. You don't have to be nice, to be good."
- musclebound2007
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06-15-2008, 01:47 PM #27
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06-15-2008, 01:57 PM #28
The past works the best.
If he has had a past of getting around, you're probably not compelling enough to change his tune. I know a lot of women seem to want to "conquer" a guy but don't be surprised if you can't. Does he have a lot of ex girlfriends? That is a sign right there.
Again, not too difficult. If you pick up a guy from the club and expect him to be loyal, you are seriously kidding yourself. The club and the bar is meant to get laid, not to have a serious relationship.- 10K A Day Crew
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06-15-2008, 02:00 PM #29
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06-15-2008, 02:11 PM #30
Seriously.
True players will pick a girl up, **** her, and dump her while making her think that she is something special. "Well, all those girls didn't mean anything to him. He is ready to settle down and be with me!"
I've heard girls say the above and two weeks later, they are crying wondering why he moved on. Somehow, she does not think that she is just Notch #40 on the bedpost, she thinks that she is so special that he is willing to give it all up because she saw the same thing happen in a movie (The Notebook, Sixteen Candles, or whatever generic romcom that came out recently).
Players know how to play the game, which is why they are called players.- 10K A Day Crew
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