big vince's monday rants

Big Vince · 12-10-2001, 01:17 PM

alright, i'm gonna start something a little different. on every monday i am gonna try to post some rants and make the post a place for others to vent. it can be humerous gym stories, crazy weekends, or whatever. just need to blow off some steam and thought that this may be a funny way to do it (i have a real dry, strange sense of humor mind you)

(begin rant) i was training with my buddy at his gym and there were, i **** you not 8 kids maybe weighing 150 soaking wet, wearing tight ass wife-beaters monopolizing 2 flat benches and a decline out of the 5 total benches in the gym (2 flat, 2 incline, 1 decline). he calls them the "wife-beater crew". the lil phucks were bounce-pressing, get this, 60lbs!!! and they thought they were the ****t too!!! i have never seen anyone struggle under a mear 5 and a 2 1/2 plate on either side of the bar. the biggest ones were doing heavy negatives with 95lbs!!! one of the lil ***gots girlfriends was talking to me an feeling on my arm until i showed her the ring (even then the rest of the time she was giving me the "please come and tear my lil 17-year-old pussy up; i'll pay you!) and he's gonna get up off the bench and growl at me! after he just had to have 85lbs lifted off of his chest 6 times!!! LMMFAO!!! i'm not saying that everyone should be able to come in the gym and rep 315, i mean everyone has to start somewhere. what i AM saying is that there is no need to bring your entire high school to the gym with you, during peak hours, and show off your malnurished frame in an infant's undershirt!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
i'm sorry, just thinking about it makes me piss my pants laughing. anyway, enjoy fellas. judging by the response i get, this may become a weekly occurance if you guys like it. keep it at the top!

-big vince

Big Vince · 12-10-2001, 01:21 PM

bump, let's keep it at the top. if ya ain't got nothing to say, just bump it.

-big vince

joe78 · 12-10-2001, 02:05 PM

With you all the way Vince, these little punks think that lifting a bar makes you automatically buff and they can show off their little muscles while grunting as loud as they can. Do what I do, if they are flexing and making a lot of noise in between sets while benching, ask to work in. When they say okay, grab the bar and curl it, then put it down saying it is not heavy enough!

Officer Iron · 12-10-2001, 02:10 PM

I like a good war story for a laugh, Here is one I still laugh about.
I was working highway drug interdiction on Interstate and I had this real green rookie who must of been the brother to the punk BV had in his gym, anyway he kept wonting to search a vehicle and I wouldnt let him so finally I said OK if i let you search one will you STFU, so I pulled into the rest area it was about 2am so I knew there would be whores and queers working the lots, I seen a queer who had been arrested several times and I turned the rookie loose on him, not telling him he was a male whore, the rookie goes off on the queer and then I asked the queer if he minded if my partner searched his vehicle, he agrees and off the rookie goes, right off the bat the rookie goes under the front seat and pulls out several wads of paper towels, they were all stuck togather I told him you got it man you got some dope tear it open, the dumb ass starts tearing open this queers " dirty rags " with his bare hands, I laughed until I was in tears and after the rookie found the suprise filling, he was really pissed but he never asked to ride with me again.
* Officer Iron *

Fit For Life · 12-10-2001, 02:20 PM

I hate **** like that too. You all know that I am not big, but I hate when high school kids take up equipment, and don't even lift. Damn that pisses me off. We have these 2 kids who come in here and there, and they are about 20-30lbs heavier then me, and then get on the bench, and struggle; I mean struggle with 135lbs. Then after their bench, they do DB curls. Do they use 30s, 35s, 40s??? Nope, they use 12 &15lb dumbells. Then they start dancing with them. These are the types of idiots who whine that they can't get any bigger.

I hate packed gyms too Vince. School will be out for break, and my peaceful gym will now be loaded with a bunch of cockroach people who either hog the stuff, or sit there, and talk. Happened last year. Bunch of dumb ass football players sat on all the benches, and talked. They did NOT use them. Luckily it wasn't a bench day for me. All I can say is if any of those phucks use my squat rack as a jungle gym, I will ring their necks. If that doesn't scare them, my poice buddy who works out with me will shoot them for me

Hey Vince, wait until Jan, and these people cme in who have resolutions. My gym is packed for 3 months, and then people vanish. Boy am I looking forward to the next couple of weeks.

fit

Steve35 · 12-10-2001, 02:34 PM

steve

JohnnyO · 12-10-2001, 02:42 PM

At my gym theres some 13 year old kid we call flex fest, he seriously wears the same tank top every day and barely works out, just flexs his 8 inch bis in the mirror and flexes his abs. when he started doing the hulk hogan double flex i couldn't help but laughing.

JohnnyO

buffgator · 12-10-2001, 02:54 PM

we got these pricks at my gym who load up three plates on each side for bp and five for squats than only use about a 5 inch range of motion, i kid you not. Plus one of them is 220 and 5'5" (probly 20%bf) and declares hes bigger than lee priest, he about got he face smashed in for that, than they critizies everyone, god I want to kill them.

Johan · 12-10-2001, 03:37 PM

bump

Ice Man · 12-10-2001, 03:46 PM

bump

Automated · 12-10-2001, 04:24 PM

i knew you were on trenbolen!!!! haha! six weeks my butt! you are taking it now! no really let me know when you are ready for it, i know a guy who has the ttokkyo trenbol 75 for $170!! i personally will always make my own stuff though. and that test prop addition instead of oil is sounding mighty good. i might have to throw that in my next stack as well! take it easy.
auto

Mafioso · 12-10-2001, 04:40 PM

Theres always some ****er in the gym that works out with his wife. He isnt much to look at but when im in there workin hard, focused on the work out and nothing else i always see him maddoggin me. He sees his wife lookin at me and that pisses him off. I dont hit on her or even look at her more than a glance, but this ****er is always staring at me. I could take him if he wanted some, but the looks get annoying. I think ill ask him if he has a ****in problem next time i see him. Maybe even slap his wifes ass......

J-Massive · 12-10-2001, 04:53 PM

Alright, I have no problem with old people working out, but there is this fat old lady who does 1 set/100 reps for 20 min. on every freaking machine! She wears the same nasty-ass pink soggy tights with the giant size Depends diapers underneath and every time I'm gutting through my last rep she just has to walk past me with that piss-ass smell. God-d*** it!

Then there's the old psycho guys with the yellow underarm stain shirts, hairy from head to toe, stomach hanging, balls hanging, walking around naked all around the locker room, bending down all over the place every chance they get. Every time I'm gulping down my protein shake they just gotta bend over right in front of me. WHAT THE F***. I'm gonna puke my ass off one day. I learned my lesson. Now I just stare at my locker when I'm drinking my shake.

And what the hell is up with these personal trainers?! They're all fat and out of shape with 3 rolls busting out of their tight-ass polo shirts - and they're ALWAYS walking around with a shopping bag full of McDonald's - what the hell?! Or they're f***ing Pee-wee Herman skinny. Who the hell would pay some fat-ass or skinny punk nearly $1000 for 2 months of training?!

Oh well, off to the gym...

joe78 · 12-10-2001, 05:56 PM

Bump!

2BIG · 12-10-2001, 06:08 PM

BUMP!!!!!!!!!

R6Castro · 12-10-2001, 07:40 PM

Bump......Bump!!!!

bestbuy · 12-10-2001, 07:47 PM

I can stand the skinny lil bitches that try starin at me hard core in the gym. I always ask them do I know you and when they say no I just say then stop phluckin lookin at me like you do. bestbuy

RawDog · 12-10-2001, 10:45 PM

Heres My Gym Rants:
There are no harcore gyms in my area. My new gym is a yuppy gym, brand new equipment, hot tubs, the works. Real nice place, but It attracts alot of white collared workers who look like they have never seen the inside of the gym. There are NO juiceheads, ive seen only 2 guys that were questionable and ive been going there for almost a year now!

Anyhow, just so u get an image. The young teens are a pain in the ass but the older businessmen piss me off the most. I do alot of supersetting, mostly for abs. Well today i was going between decline crunches, leg lifts, and a crunch machine...one after another, they're all right next to each other. This little skinny guy who shouldnt have been wearing a sleeveless shirt was watching me the whole time, which annoys me to begin with. I mean, ok, i dont mind watching for a minute to see what i do but when a guy watches set after set without taking his eyes off me it weirds me out. So this guy stared and watched me from abotu 10 yards away. I do abs at teh end of my workouts, i was dripping with sweat and just finished 2 sets of each machine. I was about to start round 3 when the guy jumps on the middle machine, the crunch machine! He saw me going like a madman from machine to machine and jumps right in the middle. He did the slowest 20 rep set of crunches, totally phucked up my concentration, and i just stared in disgust as i waited for him to move. I didnt even bother doing round 3, i was raging so bad inside. The guy had the nerve to give me a dirty look as he got up. I would have been done in 4 more minutes, the entire workout takes about 12. GIVE ME A BREAK!

This isnt the first time this has happened to me.....i have been doing bench before, gotten up to take a **** (Ref-B gives me the ****s sometimes), was gone literally 2 1/2 minutes. I come back to a guy on the bench unwracking the weights. My towel & Straps (which i had left on the bench) were pushed to the side on the ground. I walked back in and just stared, the guy didnt have a clue what he did wrong. I mean, i have jumped in early on a machine or bench when i thought someone was done and the second i see them walk back over i'll say something like, "my bad, i thought u were done" and offer it back or for them to work in.

They need to set up a 10 Commandments to Lifting and make it a law for all gyms to hang up. So when these little pricks ruin my entire concentration and pumps for their lack of knowledge and understanding of the game i can point to the wall and yell "Read Commandment 3 MotherPhucker!"

OK, OK IM DONE RANTING..... =o)

BigBrother · 12-11-2001, 12:05 AM

my gym is pretty hardcore
Its a small gym of mostly young guys
Most guys arent that big, but train hard
We all are like a family, offering each other spots and encouraging each other, giving, asking, sharing good advice
Its really cool
except for a few guys
I beleive every gym has them:

1. older guys that tell you how strong they used to be before
they injured themselves; Get real i know they never repped
315 on bp, or squated 525; kiss my ass
2. ***got, skinny personal trainers that tell you how bad your
form looks on heavy cheat bent over rows; kiss my ass
3. wimps who say they dont go heavy not to get injured; NO YOUR WEAK THATS WHY YOU DONT GO HEAVY, i see you stugglin with 135
4. Little ***s who only want to get "ripped" not big, ***S
5. people who think your big only b/c of roids--> no beeatch im natural
6. stupid beeatches who ask you to take 14 plates off the leg press to do calf extensions with 25's----> I hate them

My story:
Im in the middle of 475 lb squats and this and this guys comes up and asks if he can work in, Tryin to be a nice guy I said yes
so this prick takes off all my weight and never goes over 185. I gottaputlike 300 on for every set by myself, he doesnt even help. Anyway I had gas (had to fart) so I asked him to spot me on my last set. First rep I went down and farted all over this guy!!!!!! LOL It was one of those protien+creatine+red meat&bean farts. He almost passed out!! It was awesome
Hes never gonna ask to work in with me again

**admin** · 12-11-2001, 12:19 AM

Face it, this is half of what makes the gym fun! My high school lifting partner and I are always talking about those days and the funny people we used to know...

There were two guys there that lifted for about 6 months without gaining an ounce of muscle. We called them Beavis and Butthead because they seriously looked exactly like the cartoon characters. They would do nothing but flex in the mirror and make funny faces trying to look buff. They were like 5' 10", 135 lbs!

Is it just me, or does there seem to be a lot of eccentric personalities in the gyms. The former prisoners, the super-loud WWF wannabes, the guys that are there for YEARS and YEARS but NEVER EVER look any different (depressing), guys that are not big but think they are, guys that are very big and KNOW IT, women who wear almost nothing and you know they are doing it for attention... the list goes on. It is great.

Another story that I am reminded of is kinda weird more than funny. One of my friends who thinks he is the biggest baddest dude wanted me to spot him on squats in the smith machine. He loaded on a ton of weight and said he would probably get around 8 reps. I was prepared to be impressed! He got all pumped up, went down slowly and a HALF second later leaned forward to lock the bar to quit while at the bottom of the first rep. He jumped up and freaked out on me asking where the spot was! "I could have been killed!"

He seriously didn't even get all the way down before giving up. Usually you expect to spot somebody after at least one second of them "trying" to get it up without luck. It was just funny because he said he would probably get 8 reps, then thought I was crazy not to be there to help him soon enough.

Ryan

Bone · 12-11-2001, 01:36 AM

Bump.........Vince!

evilgeorge · 12-11-2001, 06:50 AM

BUMP

KOOL IDEA I MIGHT POST SOMTHING CAUSE I HAVE SOME NICE FUNNY STORIES.

RESPECT

E-GEORGE

Rsncion · 12-11-2001, 10:29 AM

My school gym is about the size of a public urinal at a baseball stadium, but has the basic machines (squat rack, bench, shoulder press, range of db's, etc.). So my roommates and I go in to workout when there usually aren't many people there so we have the run of the place, and it never fails that some kid, weighing around 135lbs, will come wandering in and do sets of 95lb bench, 20lb db curls, a few leg extensions, and then sit in the gym tyring to strike up conversation with anyone that glances at him. So anyway, this kid came in one time, did all the mentioned ****, and then proceeded to tell me that my form was horrible on bench, meanwhile when he was doing it he was bouncing the **** off his chest and hyper extending his arms at the top. So I mentioned to him that he should do a little reading up on correct form, and he got a huge attitude talking about how he used to be so big and could bench more than I was doing (230lbs, while he was around 95lbs). So I laughed at him and went back to working out. Haven't seen him since.

bigswoledaddy · 12-11-2001, 11:30 AM

Yeah, we got scruny little ****ers that try the same **** at our gym. They put 225 on the bar and the guy laying on the bench bout ****s his pants while the guy spotting him does deadlifts.
Funny as hell.

"The Stronger I get; the weaker you become."

Adam · 12-11-2001, 05:55 PM

bump... lol sorta feel bad about all the skinny f*ckers that we make fun of, eh?

BEEFCAKE · 12-11-2001, 08:58 PM

Well i realise that it's Wednesday and it's a bit late for Monday rants. Just thought i'd say i had sex with some chick Monday and then sex with another chick on Tuesday. Oh yeah and a big F**k you to those fat a$$ weak personal trainers who look at you weird while your working out, probably wishing they weren't the fat bastards they are. And what's the go with people not using towels or wiping down the machines after they use them ?? some dude was using the benchpress and i walked up just as he finished. He wasn't using a towel and just got up and walked off leaving the bench drenched with sweat, not to mention he didn't take the weights off the bar, just left them on so i had to do it myself. I should have smacked his head in right there. What a prick !

BOZZ · 12-11-2001, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Big Vince
judging by the response i get, this may become a weekly occurance if you guys like it. keep it at the top!

-big vince

F*CK weekly, this should be an everyday thing. I mean lets face it one of us is bound to get pissed off or have some funny story to tell pretty much everday. but now for my rant

I was at my gym today and I'm doing some preacher curls when in walks a group very similar to Vince's wife beater bandits. The biggest one was probably 145lbs soaking wet. Well of course they go an do to the bench to do some bench press. Well they're getting into their workout and they load up 225 on the bar. Well the first two punk go and do some rather pathetic reps which pretty much involved their spotter deadlifting the bar off of the other kids chest while making some pretty loud grunts. Well 2 of the kids go into the showers to take a leak or suck each other off or something and apparently the 3rd kid (we'll call him "spanky" for the rest of the post) comes over to me in the middle of a set of preacher curls. I've got my headphones on so i'm just looking down not seeing anything and concentrating on my form when "Spanky" taps me on the head. Thats right, right in the middle of my set. Well at this point i'm not too happy so i finish my set and set the bar down and he says he needs a spot. I go over to the bar and he asks for a lift off. As soon as i take my hands away from the bar, the forces of gravity take over and the bar was soon crushing the kids chest. So i see that the kid isnt going to get the weight so of course i pull the bar off of his chest and re-rack it. To make a long story short, "Spanky" gets off the bunch rushes behind the bench and yells "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING MAN?? I COULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT!! I DO THAT WEIGHT FOR SETS OF 5" Well at this point i'm pretty pissed off and most everyone in the gym is looking at me to see if i'm going to kill this kid. Out runs the owner of the gym and steps between us. I explain the situation and he calmly asks the kid to leave and he gets his boyfriends and storms out the door.

Needless to say i was a bit pissed off and still am when i think about it. i cant believe he interupted my preacher curls!! and then he asks me what I am doing when i re-rack the weight??? next time i'll just walk away and leave the bar on his skinny ass chest.

joe78 · 12-11-2001, 11:14 PM

I cannot stand little jerks who think they are all big and try to stare you down. I do not know what I would do if confronted with what happened to you Bozz, but I imagine I would be a little less patient than you were. Bump to keep this near the top.

Ze_ev · 12-12-2001, 04:10 AM

*bump*

Good stories everyone, made for a very interesting read. Yeah I've been in the same situations and share 99.9% of the sentiments above.. no particularily unique story to post, though.. not yet anyway. It might be worthy to mention that last spring break and during June I literally stopped going to the gym for a few weeks because of the college kids "determined to work out" flooding it straight outta school... guess what, after taking couple weeks of training at home with my own (****ty but AVAILABLE) bench and weights and generally taking it easy (I know this is a roid section of the board, and I'm totally cool with people who use gear, but personally Im natural, so once every few months I take recouping breaks for a week or two of infrequent or no training), anyways I head back to the gym and it's all nice and available again. Most people dont last past a week after school.. some longer, but it's pretty much the same crowd there. A couple kids staid, I can respect that

I see them change...

12-12-2001, 07:34 AM

i laughed for a good minute on that one officer!

Quote:

Originally posted by Officer Iron
I like a good war story for a laugh, Here is one I still laugh about.
I was working highway drug interdiction on Interstate and I had this real green rookie who must of been the brother to the punk BV had in his gym, anyway he kept wonting to search a vehicle and I wouldnt let him so finally I said OK if i let you search one will you STFU, so I pulled into the rest area it was about 2am so I knew there would be whores and queers working the lots, I seen a queer who had been arrested several times and I turned the rookie loose on him, not telling him he was a male whore, the rookie goes off on the queer and then I asked the queer if he minded if my partner searched his vehicle, he agrees and off the rookie goes, right off the bat the rookie goes under the front seat and pulls out several wads of paper towels, they were all stuck togather I told him you got it man you got some dope tear it open, the dumb ass starts tearing open this queers " dirty rags " with his bare hands, I laughed until I was in tears and after the rookie found the suprise filling, he was really pissed but he never asked to ride with me again.
* Officer Iron *