Things we do or have done that we would never tell anyone In Real Life (srs)(gtfih)

[jamelin123]

here we go i remember one. every first tuesday of the month they would test the tornado sirens for like 10 mins. so in 6th grade there was about 5-6 special ed kids in my music class (they had a seperate teacher) but there were no windows or anything in that room. so the sirens went off and they started getting tweaked out so i told them that a tornado destroyed their houses and kill their whole family. they all were crying and freaking out. kinda funny at the time but huuuuuge dick move

[bonkerzzz]

i was on a 1,600 mile voyage, the ride was so boring and I most of the time my radio wouldn't pick up a station. So I masturbated while driving down I-10, going over 80 mph. Theres nothing as thrilling as masterbating in the face of death.

Did this exact thing. My car had a problem with the accelerator which needed concentration but I just could'nt resist, i've never been so horny in my life. I jizzed absolute buckets (NO HOMO!)

Fapped to 2 girls 1 cup
Check Theync all the time
+ probably over 50% of things already posted.

One thing I have learned from this thread is that man has a STRONG obsession with poo.

[lucious]

I'd say we also have a strong obsession with our nutsacks and *******s, we always need to smell them after a scratch

[stk13]

When I was a junior in High School I had to take a trip to try out for a Junior hockey team, and this 7/10 who was a senior and had state basketball showcase that weekend came with our family. They screwed up our hotel reservations so we ended up only getting one room for her, me, my mom, and my sister. So the plan was for me to sleep on floor. at like 10pm when mom and sis were asleep she asks me to get up in the bed to talk. End up finger banging her, getting a hj to completion, bj and finishing on her face. Never had even made out with her lol.

Next morning felt so guilty, decided to stay on floor that night.

Instead I ended up banging her like 3 times that night while they were asleep 10 feet away. Oh to be young

[cgh]

I have cum on my own face.

[pretendKILLA]

-in first grade i had to take a huge **** while i was in gym class but the teacher wouldnt call on me when i had my hand raised. i ending up ****ting my pants. then we jumped rope and i continued the entire gym class as well as other classes with ****ty pants. some kid say it smells like poo so i blamed it on another kid that always smelled. looking back it was pretty lulzy

Same thing happened to me but with piss. It was 1st grade and the class was outside and the bitch teacher wouldn't let me go to the bathroom. Pissed my pants, had black ones on(score). My friend was like" did you Piss your pants?" I just laughed and called him stupid. Had to sit in class for like 30 minutes with warm piss all over.

[canuckbrahh]

my gf's best friend is smoking fukkin hot. go on her fb and fap to her pics all the time lmao

[Aesthetical]

- In 3rd grade I used to piss myself at recess because I was scared of going to the bathroom down the hallway at school
- Jerked off in a friend room using a pillow to blow his view just in case he turned around from using the computer
- Busted a nut in a plastic cup and threw a tissue in it...the next day my friend comes over looks at the cup and smells it
- Pissed inside of a changing room in macy's
- Frequent the backpage prostitute section, but am too scared to call incase of police sting
- Made a POF profile using aggressives pictures and got a chick on chat and had her show me her tits and play with her vag (still have it vid capped)
- Picture text my abs to random girls in my contacts followed by "oops wrong person lol" on purpose (works like a charm)
- Pick my nose and stick boogers under my desk chair
- Obsessed with Zyzz, but no one IRL knows who he is
- Used to put tape over my nipples so they didnt show through my shirt


Thats all for now, surprised at how many people sh!t themselves.

[DimondLight]

Tupac? My doing.

[Kabananga]

When I was a junior in High School I had to take a trip to try out for a Junior hockey team, and this 7/10 who was a senior and had state basketball showcase that weekend came with our family. They screwed up our hotel reservations so we ended up only getting one room for her, me, my mom, and my sister. So the plan was for me to sleep on floor. at like 10pm when mom and sis were asleep she asks me to get up in the bed to talk. End up finger banging her, getting a hj to completion, bj and finishing on her face. Never had even made out with her lol.

Next morning felt so guilty, decided to stay on floor that night.

Instead I ended up banging her like 3 times that night while they were asleep 10 feet away. Oh to be young

why wouldn't you tell that to anyone irl? or am I missing the point of the thread here...

cool story though



OT: when I'm alone in the gym dressing room, I often let the door open, hoping a bitch would pass by and mire my naked body. I also spend at least 30 minutes a day looking in the mirror, no joke, no homo

[Dan916]

the fawked up sheit ive done will not be uttered here.

[JohnB46]

-zipped my balls up in a dog costume, when i was like 8.
-pissed in my girlfriends bed twice in one week, like 2 weeks ago


cant think of any others atm

[Power_Strike92]

- I once fapped into a gatorade and gave it to my roommate
- I pissed on my roommates tooth brush
-I used to watch gay porn for the lulz. No homo

[hulkz]

I had "sex" with my friend, we were both like 10 and just curious. I stuck my peenor in his ass for few times and ****ed him, then he did the same to me. We never ever talked about it.

[Boagrius]

There are a lot of people to rep in this thread

- was hiking in Utah 2 winters ago and had to shyt r e a l l y badly, so I pulled off the trail and shyt while people walked by unknowingly, had to wipe my arse with snow. Whole experience feltgoodman.exe until I had to walk down to the bottom with the worst swamp arse ever
- have fapped in HS/college library, work bathroom, disneyworld bathroom, etc. etc.
- so drunk at college once I puked up bile in the bathroom of the student union building and passed out with my face mashed against the toilet (had turned the seat up). fukking groce
- tasted my own piss after watching bear grylls do it. not as bad as I thought it'd be, but still groce.
- ex gf wouldn't bang one night so I beat my d up while she was asleep on the couch. I was getting ready to nut on her face, but she woke up in time and moved out of the way. Bitter.

[FuarkinMike]

Don't let this epic thread drop to page 2...bumpety bump! So full of lulz and bertstares.jpg

[lucious]

When I was young I was in a public toilet and a ginger **** came in next to me and started urinating. I processed the thought for a moment, and pushed him into the trough and ran off tee-heeing

[YesWayNoWeigh]

Once made a mangina by folding my weenus under my legs in the bathroom, and danced around like a *******


no longer ashamed to post this after reading the messed up sht in this thread

lmao this got me, you *******

i have nothing on the level of u freaks but i worked at a house noone lived in and had to **** real bad and the water was off. So i shiit in the shed behind the house and wiped my ass with my wife beater(left it there), also shiit in a mcdonalds bag, same type of situation

[Suware]

drank too much before sleeping and ended up dreaming i was taking a piss. well was irl aswell and i woke up with pee all over my bed. was around 14 years old i think.

[thatguy121]

Of course I'm not going to tell y'all. You crazy? If I barely told 2 of my fraternity brothers, who I consider family, why would I tell a bunch of strangers when it was one of the hardest things to do telling them?

Why would you say you have secrets than proceed not to tell us said secrets,there was actually no point in posting.

[jamelin123]

I had "sex" with my friend, we were both like 10 and just curious. I stuck my peenor in his ass for few times and ****ed him, then he did the same to me. We never ever talked about it.

uhhhhh wut lol

[bigslim504]

- lots of the above
- pissed in a shampoo bottle at the gym
- crashed someone's car while DUI & stoned without anyone in my family knowing
- sҺit in the shower once and had to squash and push the sҺit through the tiny holes of the drain
- almost sleepraped a girlfriend of mine
- fapped thinking of a threesome including a 12 year old
- sold dope to minors
- fapped to bestiality
- watched 2girls1cup multiple times and kind of enjoyed it
- enjoyed watching a vid of a guy fuking a corpse while another dude is sawing the corpse in pieces
- had sex with the same grenade multiple times cause I was too lazy to fix someone else
- devised a master plan to break into my high school and steal all expensive sҺit, even managed to get the alarm code
- killed a rabbit after accidentally setting fire to it
- post on the misc

[Rushed77]

Once i put PB on my nuts and let the dog lick it off. - Probably the worst thing i can think of, the thought sickens me now.
brb hiding location

[thenerdal]

bump for MOARR!

[semperfi122]

I had "sex" with my friend, we were both like 10 and just curious. I stuck my peenor in his ass for few times and ****ed him, then he did the same to me. We never ever talked about it.

[Power_Strike92]

-I fapped to horse porn once. Chick was hot in it.
-Watch female bodybuilding porn sometimes

[train2late]

ex gf didnt like having sex with lights on
Devised an ingenious plan to get her over during the day for a good session and tape it all so i can 'review' it later as i dnot get to see much normally.
ended up getting hold of 4 VHS camcorders (Hi8 was the new tech at the time) and planted them around my room in ridiculous places. one in wardrobe, one in loft space facing down through hole in ceiling (i made for that purpose) which i stuck a poster over, I took the sub out of one of my speakers and sat one in there and the other I had on a dresser with clothes stacked on it.
Filled them up with 4hour scotch video tapes and set them recording just before she got in. had extension leads all over the place that I just put random clothes and stuff on
set about power fcuking her and when ever she wasnt looking at me, giving the american psycho type poses.
transferred all the best bits of the footage onto PC (P2-350) with a pinnacle DC1000 that i dropped serious cash on (+£500) took like 6 weeks of editing.
bought an extra hard drive to store it on (£200ish - 6.4gb). fapped to homemade vcd porn so much sex life with gf = 0
fapped more. VHS tapes were now in a box of old vhs at parents house, sister said she's gonna go through them to see if theres any decent films to keep.
phone mother and told her to throw the box away implying that there would be unsuitable material on there ie porn (not 'me').. havent heard anything.... I assume she did
the hd not long after ****ed up, couldnt send it back on warranty.. so gutted. still have it in storage (along with DC1000) somewhere with a hope of one day recovering the data from it.
never told gf before or after, was so much hotter if not acting for a camera and she prob would have flipped out.
Couldnt tell anyone (family, friends) what i dropped a £1k of my car money on (was 17 at time loads of relatives chipped in money for it)
broke up with girlfriend after fapping to me+her so many times I pretty much lost interest

[sveltest]

jerked off IN class and came in my pants. the guy beside me asked me if i was jerking off and i denied it lol

[lucious]

post above reminded me I've jerked it to horse porn too, he blew a massive load

[StudmuffiN45]

When i wss 16 I had no idea how to fap, was watching porn and just kinda slid my hand on my pants. Nutted and was scared as fukkk

I have a fetish for girls that piss themselves (scared to tell anyone this)

I like to fap in open places (family room and such) because its more exciting

When girls have big boobs and asses I forget about everything else, andlater ill look back and wonder why i messed with an ugly chub

Im sure there are more but thats what ive got for now