My first time was the worst, i was 13 years old i had to go out in the middle of nowhere to find the chicks house at 1 am, then she told me to grab a box of condoms at some store in middle of night, i couldn't even find them so i asked the people working there and they directed me to the condoms, needless to say i bought them and spent another hour finding her house, at last it was found the holy grail, the pussy i long dreamed of.
10 mins later my pants were off and she felt my cock and said "Is that it?" i was like wut.. no ... it's still growing and she said "oh.. ok" -- [ it actually finished growing lol ] ( Fail 1. )
We're ****ing and the condom keeps slipping off ( Fail 2. condom was XLARGE )
Finally got with the rhythm and kept on going, while we were ****ing she was on the phone with another guy moaning for him trying to get him off while he was masturbating, and told me to stay quiet so he doesn't know i'm here. ( Fail 3. )
I Finally came, she was like "oh you did??" I didn't know she wanted me to stick it in her mouth and blow my load. ( Fail 4. )
I took out my dick and the condom was lost within her pussy, i was like.. uhh... it's gone. so she stuck her entire hand in and brought it out, "there" ( Fail 5. )
She told me to take the condoms with me so her parents wouldn't find them including the one i came in ( Fail 6. )
She said i had to leave shortly after at 4 in the morning, and i had school too, so what I'm completely ****ed now? I was stuck in the darkness who knows were so what do i do, call my dad for a ride in the middle of the night/morning ( Fail 7. )
Told him my friend is moving and everyone had to go or some lame excuse, i threw the condom in her boat b4 i left for revenge on what she made me go through though.
Since that day i have ****ed a few other women, but i have done it over 20 times and i am the master of sex, i can make your woman come over 10 times in minutes. Thank you for your time, and you may now laugh at me.
Highlights:
Middle of night at a store trying to find condoms with my 13 year voice that sounded like a girl, asked clerk to direct me to them.
My personal favorite: "Is that it?"
Talking on cell phone with another guy while we're ****ing to get him off without him knowing im there.
Condom lost in vagina.
Makes me leave right after in the middle of the night.
Called my daddy.
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Results 1 to 30 of 121
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06-30-2009, 04:40 PM #1Banned
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The Story of me losing my virginity at 13 years old. = FAIL
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06-30-2009, 04:40 PM #2Pronouns I/Me/My
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Lmao 2st
Disagree with a Marxist and you will be targeted as part of the problem.
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06-30-2009, 04:43 PM #3Registered User
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sense... this story makes none
rustlin jimmies
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06-30-2009, 04:43 PM #4Registered User
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in..20 times WOW!!!! Teach me!
Extreme Pull-Ups Crew: 260lb 1rep max pull-up
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06-30-2009, 04:43 PM #5Got Heem
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lol
♦ Bay Area Crew ♦
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06-30-2009, 04:43 PM #6Bitch Lasagna
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First thread got deleted or you removed it? Anyway it made me lol.
"Don't give up, don't ever give up. Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul; and those three things are going to carry on forever." - Jimmy V (RIP 1946-1993)
***ЯR*** Big Dawg Crew ***ЯR***
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06-30-2009, 04:43 PM #7Banned
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it is 100% true.Originally Posted by iginca
deleted because i mistyped the thread name lol
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06-30-2009, 04:44 PM #8
imfao holy **** dewd o/\o
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06-30-2009, 04:45 PM #9Registered User
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rofl
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06-30-2009, 04:45 PM #10Job Title: Douchebag
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is that it?
and she stuck her whole hand in there like it was nothing?
strong ******** garbage bagUS Army Dep Jan 5th (brb see you later dudes, S you in your A's, don't wear a C and J all over your B's)
***Honorary Grammar Police***
***Honorary Misc Doctor-Licensed H.S. Bio Class***
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06-30-2009, 04:45 PM #11Large Genitilia
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20 times! my god you must be the friigin vag scientist!Originally Posted by R!P
See you, Space Cowboy.........
Kawaii on the streets, Senpai in the sheets
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06-30-2009, 04:45 PM #12Registered User
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hahahaha
Fight the Fear, Don't Fear the Fight
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06-30-2009, 04:46 PM #13Physicist in Training
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lolol
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06-30-2009, 04:46 PM #14Banned
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almost there.Originally Posted by MajorCajones
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06-30-2009, 04:48 PM #15500 Internal Server Error
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20 times?! how can i b like u brah?
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06-30-2009, 04:49 PM #16Registered User
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lol pretty fail first time brah.
butt alpha losing it at 13
at least now your the sex man
"bustin my ass for the perfect body"
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
?You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.?
i rapes back
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06-30-2009, 04:49 PM #17Tyrael: Mod of Justice.
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strong misc virgin story.
i dont know if i should laugh, or feel bad....
OP, i give to you a Virgin Mary.... to emphasize your FAIL... hope you feel better.
|Red Wings|Badgers|Packers|
PSN: mrawdtsi
Diablo 3 - mrawdtsi#1153
*Mods/CS will not, nor can they change your username, so don't ask*
*Mods/CS will not, nor can they mass delete your post history or account, so don't ask*
*Requests for the above will result in negs, its getting out of hand*
- if you're really asking for something like this, you need to re-evaluate your post behavior on these forums.
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06-30-2009, 04:50 PM #18Registered User
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what the **** are highlights? it's cliffs, *******
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06-30-2009, 04:51 PM #19Banned
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she was hot though, would provide pics if i still had her myspace, =[Originally Posted by mrawdtsi
strong misc virgin story.
i dont know if i should laugh, or feel bad....
OP, i give to you a Virgin Mary.... to emphasize your FAIL... hope you feel better.
i actually couldn't even cum yet when we did it, like it was a mini orgasm. lmao
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06-30-2009, 04:51 PM #20idunnolol
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lol @ she was on the phone moaning for another guy
phahahahahahaha
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06-30-2009, 04:52 PM #21Registered User
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lol, funniest part.Originally Posted by R!P
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06-30-2009, 04:53 PM #22
Holy mother of god she just stuck her whole damn hand in there to retrieve that badboy?? Strong cum dumpster!
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06-30-2009, 04:54 PM #23Banned
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yeah i thought that was normal at the time lolOriginally Posted by Cuz Ripped
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06-30-2009, 04:56 PM #24Registered User
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Originally Posted by MajorCajones
Originally Posted by CAPump
lmfaoOriginally Posted by Cuz Ripped
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06-30-2009, 04:57 PM #25Registered User
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I lol'd hardOriginally Posted by R!P
fecalpheliac
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06-30-2009, 04:57 PM #26Registered User
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Nice story
Mine was in my pool.
My first bj was in a walmart bathroom.keep on keepin on
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06-30-2009, 04:59 PM #27GOMAD
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in on 1st page... was on the phone with another guy moaning to get him off.
what a huge slut cumbucket
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06-30-2009, 04:59 PM #28You ever been with a chick where sex doesn't feel like throwing a hot dog down a hallway? If so you must have been like "Feels good man".Originally Posted by R!P
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06-30-2009, 04:59 PM #29Banned
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my first bj was by a 19 year old in the back seat of her car at 13 year's old like right about when i turned 13.Originally Posted by trentman123
( srs )
lost my friend over her
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06-30-2009, 04:59 PM #30Registered User
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This is the part that made me mentally lose wood, myself! lolOriginally Posted by CAPump
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