So I had a status on ********. My mom saw it and went CRAZY because I used the word 'b*tch", but in a humorous context.
This is the status:
So I'm listening to these On-Star commercials. Each time I hear the one about the woman who left her 6-month kid in the car, and how On-Star saved them, I don't think "Oh look, On-Star is so useful!", I think "What stupid b*tch leaves a 6 month baby in a car?"
You see, nothing terribly bad. I understand "b*tch" isn't a clean word, but I mean, I'm a junior in high school, and these words are extremely familiar, sometimes even on regular TV-PG shows. But my mom sees it WAY differently. She called me a male chauvinistic pig, said that I'm a very filthy boy, and said I'm going to do things like crime and rape later in my life and end up in jail.
My reaction was "WHAT THE F*CK?"
Also one time, I saw a weight bench on craigslist that I really wanted, for a really good price, and I told my mom about it. She was SO reluctant to go because the area of town wasn't really all that great, but still generally good, and she was saying that I'd be responsible for her death (by crime, even though the house we were going to is near a school), and we were "driving to our deaths" and whatnot. Today the bench is perfectly fine, and nothing happened.
Overreacting?
This is also in the teen misc, but I thought it'd also be nice to ask women who are mums themselves
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Thread: Is my mom overreacting?
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08-03-2010, 07:53 AM #1
Is my mom overreacting?
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08-03-2010, 08:01 AM #2
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08-03-2010, 08:19 AM #3
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08-03-2010, 08:23 AM #4
I'm a 42 year old woman and that's my reaction too.
Your mom sounds a bit manipulative, to be honest. Maybe she's trying to do what she thinks is best for you, but IMO she's going about it in the complete wrong way.
Obviously you're still in hs, still live at home, so it's something you'll just have to respect and bear with until you're in college and no longer living at home. Just breathe and remember that we all had parental issues we had to deal with.
(And I agree with you - what kind of stupid b*itch leaves a 6 mo old baby in the car alone?)
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08-03-2010, 08:25 AM #5
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Agreed ^^
The context you used it in wasnt the best - but its pretty common humor right now too.
I dont necessarily agree with 'b*tch' used in certain contexts so I can see why your mum would be upset - but as its a common thing, it really wasnt a huge deal.
If my grandma woulda heard my brother say something like that LOL she'd have beat the hell out of him. My mother would be shocked to hear that.
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08-03-2010, 08:33 AM #6
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08-03-2010, 11:50 AM #7
The problem your mom has, as with most parents, is she knows that when people see you use that language, you are seen as an idiot, even by your friends.
She does not want you to become a crude idiot who cannot conduct himself without resorting to cursing due to a perceived lack of education or thinking skills.
It also reflects poorly upon her as your mom. "What kind of crappy mom raises a kid who has to talk like that?" is EXACTLY what people tend to think.
So by being insulting, you are insulting her.lift big 2 get big
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08-03-2010, 11:58 AM #8
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I have to say, I'd be pissed if I heard my 15 year old son use the word bitch as well. It's somehow become cool in the teen circle to refer to women as bitches. To me, it makes you sound ignorant. I agree with CTG that your mother is trying to raise you to be respectful. She is doing the right thing.
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=17995794
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08-03-2010, 12:08 PM #9
seriously telling your son that saying the word "bitch" means he's going to become an abuser, a rapist, etc. is "doing the right thing"????????
I can see reprimanding him for using the word or saying it's inappropriate or, yes, telling him that using profanity makes him look ignorant (although I personally don't believe that, if it's not used to excess). But "you'll become a rapist".
Really now. That is over the top extreme.
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08-03-2010, 12:15 PM #10
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08-03-2010, 12:20 PM #11
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Honestly, we don't know the full context of what happened or the reasons the mother had for saying what she did. Have you ever exaggerated to make a point? We have no idea if that was the case or not. We have one snippet of an exchange. It's easy to pass judgement when you aren't sitting in the other person's shoes.
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=17995794
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08-03-2010, 12:21 PM #12
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08-03-2010, 01:26 PM #13
I'm sorry, Erin, but I really have to disagree. Telling a 15 year old boy that using the word "b*tch" is going to make him a rapist, a criminal, and land him in jail is, IMO, very near to being mentally/emotionally abusive. And yes, I have quite a bit of experience with abuse - both as a victim of domestic abuse and as a volunteer advisor for battered women and children.
There's overreacting to your kids and then there's this ... the two are miles apart, IMO. And whatever her experiences/environment, there's no excuse. I could claim I grew up in an abusive household with an abusive alcoholic parent - but that doesn't give me the excuse to emotionally abuse my kids.
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08-03-2010, 01:32 PM #14
I mean, I really don't cuss that often, I really don't. I know the b-word isn't a clean word, but it's not like I'm chanting it 24/7. I just used it in a minor humorous manner.
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08-03-2010, 01:38 PM #15
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I think parents can overreact in certain circumstances. I dont know the OP's family environment or situation, but if I'm to take 100% of what he said to heart and assume it's exactly how it went down, then yes, his mother overreacted by saying he's going to turn into a criminal of sorts. He didnt deserved to be called a rapist. That's for sure.
Did he deserve to be reprimended? Yes. More than likely. If his mother doesn't agree with his sharing those words and opinions with the world, then it's her place to put him in his. But because of the way she handled it, it's very likely that she didnt drive the point home, and he'll continue to use foul language and whatever else because no one told him the real reasons why he's being an arsehat.
Emotional abuse has many faces. I'm not saying she's abusive, because again, I have no idea if this is how it went down, or if it went down at all. But calling your kid names in an outrage of dissaproval, can be a form of abuse, even if she doesnt mean it or know it as such.
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08-03-2010, 01:39 PM #16
Very near to being mentally and emotionally abusive? Gimme a break.
Saying that using the word 'bitch' is going to make him commit crimes, rape women and end up in jail is a bit of stretch, but not THAT big of one. Go hang out in the teen misc for a bit. Take a look at the way some of those kids view and speak about women and authority. It's downright scary to read sometimes and even scarier to think about who those boys will be 10 years from now with that kind of mentality.
Also, OP is 15. I know when I was a kid stories were exaggerated to make me look like the innocent victim and my parents the evil bad guys. Like Erin said, this is a snippet of a situation from one person's POV. Hard to make any sort of judgement based on that.Last edited by RebeccaG; 08-03-2010 at 02:03 PM.
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08-03-2010, 01:41 PM #17
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Again, we are unaware of the entire context and what exactly was said so I am going to refrain from passing judgement. I can tell you my parents said the equivalent to me on one occasion when I was a teenager and it was after I mouthed off and pushed their buttons. I was in no way mentally or emotionally abused and it was in no way a habit. I won't say that's what is happening based on one post of one incident with only one side.
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=17995794
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08-03-2010, 01:47 PM #18
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08-03-2010, 02:33 PM #19
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08-03-2010, 02:38 PM #20
Actually Rebecca, I don't know what your experience is with abuse, but I can assure you that telling your child that they are a criminal and a potential rapist and things of those nature is emotionally abusive. There are all kinds of levels of abuse - not just physical. It might not be a beating, but beating is not the only form of abuse.
http://eqi.org/eabuse1.htm
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation etc
I will concede to Erin that we don't know all the circumstances of the interaction between the OP and his mom ... and maybe he is exaggerating for effect. But even so ... it seems like she is prone to overreacting (if his comments are correct) and bordering on a manipulative pattern that could be abusive.
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08-03-2010, 02:40 PM #21
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08-03-2010, 03:05 PM #22
No kidding.
His mother did not call him a criminal and potential rapist. Even if she had, that is hardly emotional abuse.
A mother sees her teenage son referring to women as bitches so she (perhaps) overreacts a tad and tells him he's chauvinistic, a filthy boy and that he's going to grow up to do things like commit crimes and rape and end up in jail and you call that emotional abuse??
I'm sorry, but THAT is over-reacting.
I don't think her wording was the best, but I highly doubt this woman is trying to control or subjugate her son through fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion or manipulation.
How in the hell is she bordering on a manipulative pattern? Maybe she is prone to overreacting. So? I'd be more inclined to say she is overprotective and overly concerned about her son and his upbringing than to say she is manipulative and abusive.
And if you really felt that she is emotionally abusing her poor teenage boy, why was this your advice?
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08-03-2010, 04:54 PM #23
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08-03-2010, 06:34 PM #24
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08-03-2010, 07:16 PM #25
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08-03-2010, 07:24 PM #26
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08-03-2010, 07:47 PM #27
You are in wrong here buddy. Which mother would want her son to use words such as bitch. The guy above told it right when he said that she wants you to grow up respectfully. Putting this on ******** means that you are showing people that your parents are cool with words like this. Which is kind of insulting to her as it shows that she has not raised her boy properly. Cuss words are cuss words whatever it may be, ranging from bitch to ****.
Listen to her, overreaction on her part was justifiable.KEEP REP TRADING OUT OF YOUR SIG LINE
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08-04-2010, 05:37 AM #28
Curse words are used on a daily basis in my household, because it seems the words aren't given much magnitude in India where they grew up. So I, being around them for almost 16 years, caught on, and I only seldom curse, and in this case, it was in a trivial humorous context.
******** AESTHETICS CREW
"No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training… What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"- Socrates
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08-04-2010, 05:37 AM #29
You got off lightly.
I got banned from watching Southpark and all other programmes that contained any form of 'curse' at the age of 16 because I called my sister a tart / bitch - words to that effect (was in a rage due to sister being bitchy and unhelpfull, and shouted at her).
My mom told my aunt what I said, and she told me that if she had caught me saying that i'd be a lot worse off.
And why does your mum or any adult member of your family have access to your ********? Keep older family members off your ******** - especially if you want any privacey.-101,221, I can see the light - thanks
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08-04-2010, 05:50 AM #30
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