Par Deus & Friends - How To Detect Supplements Scams!

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Find out how to detect supplement scams with this in-depth look at the fitness industry. Learn the psychology of business, of the consumer and what a honest scam is...

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/par28.htm

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[Clayton South]

Well done, overall.

While i did enjoy this article, I found that the style of writing was somewhat imprecise and loose.

To describe the writing style I would use the following phrase: "Drunk with inexactness."

What does this phrase mean?

To be drunk is to be intoxicated. To be inexact is to fail to arrive at the intended point within a reasonable period of time (or to not arrive at the point at all).

Being drunk with intexactness is the process of extending an idea to the point where a clear picture of the idea (that would have been provided by being exact and timley) is obscured and a hazy, imprecise foggy remnant of the supposed meaning is left in its place. It is like looking at an object through a kalidaoscope.

Because the writing was somewhat imprecise and long-winded in getting to point, the points present were somewhat obscured.

I do not suggest writing for the lowest common denominator, but an article need not be "wordy." Think parsimony.

When composing a piece of any type, mean what you say, say what you mean, and pontificate the idea in such a way that you communicate what you wish, using any relevant analogies to help you get to a point that your audience understands. Thats the key: punctuality of ideas, parsimony of ideas, and audience understanding. Being wordy is not neccessary. "Gobeldygook" as it is called, serves only as filler.

The author was right on with the points he made, its the method of delivery that could use some work.

Thats my experienced, unbiased view. But keep up the good work.

- Clayton South

[EricS]

Originally posted by Clayton South
Being wordy is not neccessary.

Sometimes it is good to take your own advise

[Clayton South]

There needs to be a distinction between being using large words to make a point (ie. using large words with precision to make a point) and simply using a lot of small words to extend a sentence and fill out an article.

I do the first simply becase its neccessary, and this article seems to do the latter - ie. using smaller words that are unnesseccary to fill-in the article. Lots of extra padding here that isnt neccessary.

Hence the comment of being "drunk with intexactness." Its almost as if the writer is a boxer and simply dances around the points without really making them.

Truly complex issues (such as the ones i write about) require complex discussion and the use of large words (which still results in parsimony and exactness) - but ideas such as the ones presented here can be presented with parsimony and exactness.

- Clayton South

[EricS]

Complex subject matter does not require the use of complex verbage at all.

And no offence but your articles are hardly complex. You mask the simplicity of the subject matter in large, lees frequently used words. In other words, you know how to use a dictionary.

The most complex you have gotten is your article on obesity, and it wasn't very technical at all.

---Edit----
But you are doign it again.

<<<There needs to be a distinction between being using large words to make a point >>>>

That was all you needed to say. But you kept rambling on.

[Clayton South]

EricS:

Thanks for your opinion.

I won't be drawn into a debate about this article, or your displeasure over how you view my writing. If you don't like what I write or the manner in which I write, I invite and encourage you to not read what I write. Wether you (or anyone else, for that matter) reads what I write is a minor distinction, so far as I am concerned.

I stand by my assessment of this article. Thanks again for your feedback.

- Clayton South

[str8flexed]

alright guys calm down here.

1. if you dante (the author) than you would know that this is just how he writes... you either love it or you hate it. He posts in the same manner. At first I hated it but after a while I got used to it.

2. Clayton I can see where your coming from and I can see where eric is coming from.

I'm not as stern as eric in my view of your articles, however I do not include many big words as I feel my new articles are becoming harder and harder for the masses to understand as is since i'm beginning to advance in my scientific knowledge. I believe eric and I both feel that if an article is advanced enough; people are going to be thoroughly confused at first (if the article is good enough they'll get the idea after reading it a few times) but they still get the point. If we were to add in huge words and advanced vocabularly normally not seen anywhere but on a GRE than I think we would lose people even further.


Dante writes as he does b/c for him writing is a release and it's art. That's his thing.. i don't knock it; but I can definately see where your coming from clayton.

Layne "*singing* why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends?"