Unified Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Popsicle52 · 11-03-2006, 09:46 AM

In the beginning, the Flying Spaghetti Monster reached out His Noody Appendage. May He touch you with his Noody Appendage and bathe you in his Sauce forever- RAmen.

What if I told you there was a Flying Spaghetti Monster that created the universe? Would you believe it? Well, you can't disprove it. In that light, it holds as much credence as the idea of God.

People even claimed to have talked to and experienced Him the Flying Spaghetti Monster, much like (though, obviously not to Him) the Pope, prophets, believers of God and schizophrenics.

Before you just dismiss this as ridicule, read the following news group post. And realize that, yes, it is redicululous. And that's how we feel when religious people argue about God: are they trying to ridicule us?

Really, then, it's not ridicule. It's taking the same exact horribly abstract story you believe in, but fail to logically understand because it's so abstract, and replacing the nouns with more concrete, picturable ideas that make it easier to reason out and see how ridiculous the entire idea of religion really is.

From a very well informed news group post by Ralph_S

"The Flying Spaghetti moster is intended to show that subjective
evidence is as good as no evidence. Of course Joseph is right when he
writes that nobody can seriously pretend that they have experienced the
Flying Spaghetti Monster, while there undoubtedly are theists who
genuinely believe that they have experienced God. However, to somebody
who doesn't believe in a god, and who doesn't equate, for instance, the
feeling of awe he or she gets when seeing the milky way stretch across
the sky with God, theists might as well be talking about the Flying
Spaghetti Monster. To an athesit, just like God, the Flying Spaghetti
Monster only exists as a construct in people's minds.

Substituting the Flying Spaghetti Monster for God often clearly shows
how strange some of the reasoning aimed at proving that God exists
really is.

We've had this a couple of days ago:
"Existence is an essential property of God. God
identified Himself as He Who Is. Thus, if He did not actually exist, He
would not be who He is, i.e. He Who Is. "

This doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, but it may to you.
However, if I write:

"Existence is an essential property of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster identified Himself as He Who Is. Thus, if
He did not actually exist, He
would not be who He is, i.e. He Who Is. "

it's probably clear to you as well that this doesn't make any sense.
To an atheist, the latter makes as much sense as the first. You might
as well be praying to the flying Spaghetti Monster, because he is as
real as God is. "

If you would lke to learn more, and perhaps join our Unified Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Google His name.

Goonmonger · 11-03-2006, 09:52 AM

This is an old hypothetical analogy. All it will do is strengthen the atheists into not believing in God, and it certainly won't change any Muslim's or Christian's or Jew's faith. Have fun though. Just wanted to point out that its a waste of time for you.
Anyway those other hypothetical analogies "proving" the existence of God really are a joke, I agree with that.
"I think that God exists...I exist...therefore God exists or something like that." They really have no basis in reality. Maybe you should try to attack a real part of Christianity or Islam, rather than a weird part that no one cares about.

JohnGalt · 11-03-2006, 09:53 AM

I would like to subscribe to your train of thought!~!

Popsicle52 · 11-03-2006, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goonmonger

This is an old hypothetical analogy. All it will do is strengthen the atheists into not believing in God, and it certainly won't change any Muslim's or Christian's or Jew's faith. Have fun though. Just wanted to point out that its a waste of time for you.
Anyway those other hypothetical analogies "proving" the existence of God really are a joke, I agree with that.
"I think that God exists...I exist...therefore God exists or something like that." They really have no basis in reality. Maybe you should try to attack a real part of Christianity or Islam, rather than a weird part that no one cares about.

How about you show how my analogy is wrong. Doesn't matter if you dismiss it was "weird", either, it's still a part. Guess what? I consider this X part of evolution weird, please don't attack it because I consider it weird!

B_Master_Flash · 11-03-2006, 09:57 AM

This is rediculous. The FSM is real and doesn't appreciate being blasphemized like this.

best regards · 11-03-2006, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamGigantor

In the beginning, the Flying Spaghetti Monster reached out His Noody Appendage. May He touch you with his Noody Appendage and bathe you in his Sauce forever- RAmen.

What if I told you there was a Flying Spaghetti Monster that created the universe? Would you believe it? Well, you can't disprove it. In that light, it holds as much credence as the idea of God.

People even claimed to have talked to and experienced Him the Flying Spaghetti Monster, much like (though, obviously not to Him) the Pope, prophets, believers of God and schizophrenics.

Before you just dismiss this as ridicule, read the following news group post. And realize that, yes, it is redicululous. And that's how we feel when religious people argue about God: are they trying to ridicule us?

Really, then, it's not ridicule. It's taking the same exact horribly abstract story you believe in, but fail to logically understand because it's so abstract, and replacing the nouns with more concrete, picturable ideas that make it easier to reason out and see how ridiculous the entire idea of religion really is.

From a very well informed news group post by Ralph_S

"The Flying Spaghetti moster is intended to show that subjective
evidence is as good as no evidence. Of course Joseph is right when he
writes that nobody can seriously pretend that they have experienced the
Flying Spaghetti Monster, while there undoubtedly are theists who
genuinely believe that they have experienced God. However, to somebody
who doesn't believe in a god, and who doesn't equate, for instance, the
feeling of awe he or she gets when seeing the milky way stretch across
the sky with God, theists might as well be talking about the Flying
Spaghetti Monster. To an athesit, just like God, the Flying Spaghetti
Monster only exists as a construct in people's minds.

Substituting the Flying Spaghetti Monster for God often clearly shows
how strange some of the reasoning aimed at proving that God exists
really is.

We've had this a couple of days ago:
"Existence is an essential property of God. God
identified Himself as He Who Is. Thus, if He did not actually exist, He
would not be who He is, i.e. He Who Is. "

This doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever, but it may to you.
However, if I write:

"Existence is an essential property of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster identified Himself as He Who Is. Thus, if
He did not actually exist, He
would not be who He is, i.e. He Who Is. "

it's probably clear to you as well that this doesn't make any sense.
To an atheist, the latter makes as much sense as the first. You might
as well be praying to the flying Spaghetti Monster, because he is as
real as God is. "

If you would lke to learn more, and perhaps join our Unified Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Google His name.

It feels good to be able to take someone out of the red

Question: if I don't follow this religion, am I going to hell?

If so, count me in!

HELIX35 · 11-03-2006, 11:46 AM

I myself am a pastafarian. RAmen

p.s. If you really want to fight global warming, become a pirate. There is a direct correlation between the declining of the global pirate population and the yearly increase in global warming.

Popsicle52 · 08-01-2007, 09:43 PM

haha i think this was my 1st post in the r / p

MR SMART · 08-01-2007, 09:45 PM

HILARIOUS THREAD!!!!!!!!!!! too funny, makes me laugh at how stupid religions are...all just a bunch of fairy tale crap

user1245464 · 08-01-2007, 10:00 PM

Strong bump. Regardless, I hope the OP is being sarcastic, otherwise I will have taken great offense to his claiming that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist. I know he does, because I have experienced his noodly appendage many a times.

Here is a little education for the non-Pastafarians in here:

While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he can't find a pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards". The FSM's commandments address the treatment of people of other faiths, worship of the FSM, sexual conduct, and nutrition. They are as follows:

1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bastard.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.