Man laws..

pimpin · 08-27-2006, 01:54 AM

Man Laws that have been put into effect:
51. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
50. A man shall never get directions from a woman.
49. This amendment to Law #46 states that if a man is rejected, she becomes fair game.
48. Never will a man where fish net shirts under any circumstance.
47. This rule overrides, nulls and voids rule # 34
46. If a man calls dibs on a woman, the rest of the pack must respect that wish for the rest of the morning/evening.
45. When toasting, you must clink bottoms not tops.
44. The high 5 is officailly played out.
43. You must wait 6 months before asking your best friends ex out.
42. You poke it, you own it.
41. Swim trunks can never be shorter than 4 inches above the knee.
40. You can take your own beer home from a party if it will fit in your pocket aka tuck rule
39. A man may never be seen wearing sunglasses indoors.
38. Pets shall never wear clothes
37. Cooler protocol - Put beer in, then add ice
36. Acquire tan by accident, not by credit card
35. You must establish allegiance to one football team prior to preseason
34. If you've known a man for longer than a week, his sister is off limits, not matter how hot she is
33. Never under any circumstances tell another man his fly is down
32. Under no circumstances can the same man be forced to go on a beer run during the same gathering.
31. On a road trip, he with the strongest bladder decides when to stop.
30. If you do not sweat, it is not a sport
29. A man shall not bet against his own team under any circumstance
28. A man shall never give up on his team until they are offically eliminated
27. A man takes out the garbage
26. The only rings that are acceptible for a man to wear are his wedding and/or championship ring
25. There are no leftovers when eating steak
24. A man has bragging rights if his team defeats the team of another until the next meeting of the 2 teams
23. The wearing of socks with sandals is henceforth forbidden
22. A man may never use the word fabulous
21. NO man shall ever order a dirnk with an umbrella in it
20. Foul balls are to be caught in the air, not retreived
19. If you buy the first round, you have choice of who buys the next
18. Every man must specialize in knowledge or skill of some sport
17. You can take the last beer or the last wing, but not both
16. A man shall not don the colors of a championship team unless he has documented proof he wore them prior to the start of the season
15. Regardless of searing pain, a man may never alter his stride across hot sand
14. A man shall uphold sportsmanship during any contest, and never kick a man when he is down.
13. Under no circumstances may a man say " let's take my scooter"
12. No man shall ever again pull an Urban Meyer and cry after a loss
11. Men may not TIVO live sporting events, events must be viewed live, in their entirety, as the men that created sport intended
10. If your friend takes you to a football game, you must buy him a beer
9. Any caught home run ball from the opposing team must be thrown back
8. Sports cars may not be bought with automatic transmissions
7. If your team is not in the Superbowl, you must root for the team that defeated your team, unless that team is your rival
6. Sunday is for football, nothing else matters
5. You still play the sport, even if you suck
4. When you set a pick, you stand your ground, no matter the size of the oncoming opponent
3. During March Madness, a man must stick to filling out ONE master bracket
2. The arnold swarartzenegger movie, "The Running Man" is hereby manadatory viewing material for all men over the age of 18
1. Men are forbidden to own a dog under 20 lbs, and pink dog collars are not allowed on any dog owned by a man

OmniPotentTitan · 08-27-2006, 02:27 AM

I like
28. A man shall never give up on his team until they are offically eliminated
cause its cool to root for another team AFTER yours is eliminated, as long as it isnt the bastards that beat them.

rhapscallion · 08-27-2006, 02:33 AM

11. Men may not TIVO live sporting events, events must be viewed live, in their entirety, as the men that created sport intended

WTF that is the stupidist thing I've ever heard