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Old 08-14-2006, 03:59 PM   #1
HELIX35
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Ultimate Mass/Strength Gainer

All right gents, it's time to cut through the bull**** and let everyone in on the true bodybuilding secrets that the real pros have been trying to keep under wraps for years.
It's a program based in pure simplicity, 4 excercises, 7 days a week. I guarantee you've never seen gains like you will with this routine.

Overtraining is garbage, perform the workouts in a 7 day split for max gains, with an example schedule of;
Monday-workout A
Tuesday-workout A
Wednesday-workout A
Thursday-workout A
Friday-workout A
Saturday-workout A
Sunday-Workout A

Now, this program is based around the three main compound lifts- bench, deadlift, and squat. I've added Barbell curls because everyone wants big guns, and the ONLY way to get them is lots of curls.

First, find you 1RM for each excercise so you can plan your sets. For each excercise, do 10 sets with however many reps you can until failure. Figuring the weight of each set is simple,
set 1 - 10% of 1RM
set 2 - 20% of 1RM
set 3 - 30% of 1RM
ect...

REMEMBER, FOR EACH SET, DO AS MANY REPS AS YOU CAN UNTIL FAILURE.

Do not use the above formula for curls. Instead, do 5 sets of 10 with 200% of your 1RM. I know that sounds crazy, it's twice as much as you're capable of lifting, but I will cover the proper technique to overcome this below.

Proper Lifting Techniques

First and foremost, before performing each rep, take a deep breath in and hold it through out the entire movement. Do NOT exhale until the weight is back to the starting position and you're ready for the next rep.

Bench - Arch your back to ensure you form a good base with which to lift the weight. Also lift your head and try to look at your feet in order to engage the neck muscles. Feel free to kick your feet around if you feel it helps, after all, it is your chest doing the work, your feet have nothing to do with it.

Squat - Place the weight on the back of your neck. Many people will tell you to place it on your upper back, but then it might roll off and hurt someone. Besides, that much weight on your neck will only make it stronger. When going down, ensure your legs do not move past a 45 degree angle. Doing this will put most of the strain on your knees, and soon you'll see rippling new muscle over your kneecaps.

Deadlift - There really isn't any proper way to do a deadlift. Do what ever it takes and whatever feels comfortable to you to get the weight off the ground.

Curls - As i said before, you'll be lifting twice your 1RM with these curls, so pay attention to the proper form. When you place your hands on the bar, make sure they are least twice shoulder width. Think about it, hang you arms in front of you normally, then hang them at twice shoulder width, they are higher. This means you don't have to move the weight as far up and it will make the excercise easier. Now with the bar resting on your thighs, lock your knees and and thrust your hips backward. Next, forcefully push your hips forward and hit the bar with your thighs to give it a kickstart up, lean back and pull as hard as you can. If you can't get it all the way up, you didn't hit it hard enough with your thighs, just reset and try again.

Get plenty of sleep and rest, and come back the next day and do it again. With the proper nutrition and supplements, which I will detail below, you body will be completely recoverd and ready for the next days workout.

Nutrition - The only way to gain a lot of mass is to eat a lot of food. A lot of people will say egg whites, brown rice, clean carbs, good calories, blah, blah, blah. All of that is bull****. A calorie is a calorie, it doesn't matter where it comes from. The easiest way to get as much food as you'll need is to simply go to McDonalds, and order a super value meal 4 times a day. Remember to get a milkshake, and always supersize.

Supplements-The only two supplements you need are protein and creatine. Anyone who tells you different is just part of the latest scam.
Always get protein suppositories as the body will ingest these a lot easier than any orally taken shake or bar. With the creatine, mix the powder directly with butter to make a paste, and spread it on you entire body. This way it will be directly absorbed into the muscles, instead of being weakend and broken down by the digestive tract before it even gets to where it needs to be.

There it is folks, If you really want to make gains, you'll follow this program because everyone else is wrong and full of ****.

Godspeed and good luck.
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Old 08-14-2006, 04:56 PM   #2
SuicideGripMe
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Word to all of this. All the absolute truths that the best bodybuilders tell are all bs. Do this program!

If I might make a suggestion, before work out, punch yourself in the balls a few times, it gets the test flowing!

PS All newbs dont listen to this, its a joke!
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Old 08-14-2006, 05:00 PM   #3
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Nice poem...

Useless for bodybuilding though
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:17 PM   #4
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I'm having a coronary just reading that bit on McDonalds.... uggg.

Funny post.
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:28 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuicideGripMe
If I might make a suggestion, before work out, punch yourself in the balls a few times, it gets the test flowing!
Since i do that my penis is getting bigger too.
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:28 PM   #6
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I don't know about the whole McDonalds bit...
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Old 08-14-2006, 09:32 PM   #7
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can I do this routine twice a day instead, that way I can have atleast 3 days off for other things? also should I use a belt when doing the curls the way you suggest.
thanks
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