How Long Before Sex...

15600Squats · 08-04-2006, 08:34 PM

Assume you are 23 and you meet a girl who is 22. Neither of you are virgins - you go out a few times, things are good....but she's got some issue with sex...she thinks that guys just use girls to get sex (and she feels this way based on her past) so she's basically anti-sex.

No sex, no BJs, no HJs - but making out/dry humping, etc - junior style ****.

The girl is really great though; but it's 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

How long would you give her (while dating exclusivly - meaning, she doesn't want you to **** any other girls; but at the same time, won't put out for you) before you break up?

I don't know how to handle this - I certainly don't want to sit down and say 'Umm, you need to do me'; I'd want her to want to do me, obviously.....but it's annoying as ****. The worst part is, she'll get off when we mess around....

Colonel_Clobber · 08-04-2006, 08:39 PM

Girls don't just wake up one day without their mental and emotional hang-ups. Unless her parents are loaded, I'd throw this one back and keep on fishin'.

15600Squats · 08-04-2006, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colonel_Clobber

Girls don't just wake up one day without their mental and emotional hang-ups. Unless her parents are loaded, I'd throw this one back and keep on fishin'.

I don't know though - I mean - I don't want to be with a girl that's super-easy; or one that's been with 30 dudes....so I like that, in the beginning, she'd take her time; move my hand, etc, etc.

But at the same time; yeah, I think it's just silly to have a girlfriend at my age and *not* be able to have sex with her; or at the very least, a BJ or HJ.

Eh, you are probably right....

Sauce-head · 08-04-2006, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 15600Squats

Assume you are 23 and you meet a girl who is 22. Neither of you are virgins - you go out a few times, things are good....but she's got some issue with sex...she thinks that guys just use girls to get sex (and she feels this way based on her past) so she's basically anti-sex.

No sex, no BJs, no HJs - but making out/dry humping, etc - junior style ****.

The girl is really great though; but it's 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

How long would you give her (while dating exclusivly - meaning, she doesn't want you to **** any other girls; but at the same time, won't put out for you) before you break up?

I don't know how to handle this - I certainly don't want to sit down and say 'Umm, you need to do me'; I'd want her to want to do me, obviously.....but it's annoying as ****. The worst part is, she'll get off when we mess around....

This whole sex issue of her's is a MAJOR red flag bro!! I wouldn't be surprised if she was raped, molested or something of the sort when she was younger. There's only 2 reasons why a girl won't fuvk if she's in an exclusive relationship:

a) she's a virgin
b) she's had a bad sexual past

Most the time with virgins you just have to wait a little longer than normal (2-4 months). But once they start fuvking, they love it. Now with these girls who have been through some ****, ahhh, it ends up being more of a nightmare than pleasure.

I understand that you like her, but dude, why waste time waiting on a girl with a questionable past, when there are plenty of other girls ready and willing. If you say that "you like her soo much blah blah blah," then your setting yourself up for disaster.

SH

15600Squats · 08-04-2006, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sauce-head

This whole sex issue of her's is a MAJOR red flag bro!! I wouldn't be surprised if she was raped, molested or something of the sort when she was younger. There's only 2 reasons why a girl won't fuvk if she's in an exclusive relationship:

a) she's a virgin
b) she's had a bad sexual past

Most the time with virgins you just have to wait a little longer than normal (2-4 months). But once they start fuvking, they love it. Now with these girls who have been through some ****, ahhh, it ends up being more of a nightmare than pleasure.

I understand that you like her, but dude, why waste time waiting on a girl with a questionable past, when there are plenty of other girls ready and willing. If you say that "you like her soo much blah blah blah," then your setting yourself up for disaster.

SH

Yeah - I hear ya. Eh - I kinda knew that was the right thing to do; but well, I wasn't 100% sure. We've been 'together' for a month now; and it's like I'm 15 again....lol

We do keep going further - but it's real slow progress; and yeah, I dunno. Just wasn't sure.

*supermomma* · 08-04-2006, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 15600Squats

Assume you are 23 and you meet a girl who is 22. Neither of you are virgins - you go out a few times, things are good....but she's got some issue with sex...she thinks that guys just use girls to get sex (and she feels this way based on her past) so she's basically anti-sex.

No sex, no BJs, no HJs - but making out/dry humping, etc - junior style ****.

The girl is really great though; but it's 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

How long would you give her (while dating exclusivly - meaning, she doesn't want you to **** any other girls; but at the same time, won't put out for you) before you break up?

I don't know how to handle this - I certainly don't want to sit down and say 'Umm, you need to do me'; I'd want her to want to do me, obviously.....but it's annoying as ****. The worst part is, she'll get off when we mess around....

Um, maybe she's right? It sounds like you certainly want it from her, even though she has obviously made it clear that she is not ready to take things to that level.

Here's a question -- what ever happened to actually having a relationship? Getting to know a person, talking, learning things about one another -- before jumping in the sack with him/her?

If you like her, set that **** aside and get to know her -- she might just be as great as you say.

warbird00 · 08-04-2006, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 15600Squats

Assume you are 23 and you meet a girl who is 22. Neither of you are virgins - you go out a few times, things are good....but she's got some issue with sex...she thinks that guys just use girls to get sex (and she feels this way based on her past) so she's basically anti-sex.

No sex, no BJs, no HJs - but making out/dry humping, etc - junior style ****.

The girl is really great though; but it's 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

How long would you give her (while dating exclusivly - meaning, she doesn't want you to **** any other girls; but at the same time, won't put out for you) before you break up?

I don't know how to handle this - I certainly don't want to sit down and say 'Umm, you need to do me'; I'd want her to want to do me, obviously.....but it's annoying as ****. The worst part is, she'll get off when we mess around....

obvisouly shes not cause
but shes 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

*supermomma* · 08-04-2006, 09:36 PM

He said "it's" annoying as hell, not "she's."

15600Squats · 08-05-2006, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *supermomma*

Um, maybe she's right? It sounds like you certainly want it from her, even though she has obviously made it clear that she is not ready to take things to that level.

Here's a question -- what ever happened to actually having a relationship? Getting to know a person, talking, learning things about one another -- before jumping in the sack with him/her?

If you like her, set that **** aside and get to know her -- she might just be as great as you say.

You bring up an excellent point....I guess it depends on how you look at sex. I guess what really bothers me is that it seems like she gets to have her cake, and eat it to.

As long as I'm with her, I can't have sex with anyone else....but, she won't provide me with any sex. That's like signing a contract with a cell phone company; saying that you will only use their phone....but....they won't let you make any calls.

If we were just 'seeing' each other - she could wait as long as she wanted; because I could still see other people. Even if I struck out and didn't get any - it'd be my issue, not hers. But she's got a monopoly on my dick; I can't even *try* to get any from anyone else.

But, it's more than just that....it's not just that she doesn't want to ahve sex, and that I can't have it with anyone else.....she still wants to sit in a car and make out for two hours/she wants me to go to her place and go at it in her bed (and then cuddle). If she wants me to not care about sex; it's a lot easier to do that if she isn't dry humping my lap for an hour....all it does is get me worked up; and she'll actually have an orgasm from the dry humping....

It's like salt in an open wound.

She doesn't care about sex - but if I were blowing my load everytime we messed around - I wouldn't care nearly so much either.

I guess I just don't know how to handle the situation. I know it's a touchy subject for her - so I don't think I'd be able to explain it all in a way she'd understand. I'd be okay with not having sex for another few months....if she'd stop with the intense making out/hands down my pants ****. But, I yeah, I just see it being a big fight either way. She'll think I'm saying we need to have sex; or she'll think I don't want to touch her....

15600Squats · 08-05-2006, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warbird00

obvisouly shes not cause
but shes 1.) Annoying as hell 2.) Illogical as ****

She's great - it's just the making out/dry humping that I meant was annoying and illogical.

It's annoying because it makes me horny and I don't get to finish.

It's illogical because she wants a guy that doesn't care about sex - if the guy doesn't care about sex, why would he want a girl to dry hump him? If he does care about sex, he might enjoy a few minutes of dry humping, but he's going to want to have sex, or do some other activity that might actually have a happy ending.

Aside from this one issue, things are great.

Oxycodone · 08-05-2006, 04:21 PM

Damn bb.com is the funniest forum of all. Thanx God!

And about that girl, I think its good the find a girl who does not sleep with everyone.. Its somehow a whore fest in quebec city right now.

15600Squats · 08-05-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oxycodone

Damn bb.com is the funniest forum of all. Thanx God!

And about that girl, I think its good the find a girl who does not sleep with everyone.. Its somehow a whore fest in quebec city right now.

I agree - it was cool that she didn't put out on the first night, or even after the first month - but we were 'seeing each other' for a month and now we've been 'dating' for a month.

I don't want a girl that will bang everyone - but I do want a girl that will sleep with her boyfriend; especially if I'm the boyfriend. Like I said though - what is an appropriate time for a couple to wait though? You think two months is fine - but at some point, don't you think it's too much? Would you spend 5 years with a girl without getting any?

Morbid_Mind · 08-05-2006, 05:38 PM

3 Date Rule.

No sex after 3 dates and you cut her loose

god hand · 08-05-2006, 05:39 PM

I'll try to make it happen 3 times. After the third time **** it

stone fox · 08-05-2006, 05:57 PM

i was seeing a girl like that last year nothing beyond dry humping for about 3 weeks blue balled to hell. eventually got head out of her but it was alot of work. dont know how you can do it for 2 months, i mean it gets to the point when it's embarassing...she'd be slapping my hand away id be thinking "this reminds me of when i was 13 trying to cop a feel at the junior disco"

only i was 21 and she was 24!

its up to you but for me i was ready to throw in the towel after about 2 months (and we werent even bf gf) just when she started providing oral.
but i was working under a time constraint so if your patient you may believe "good things come to those who wait"?

GuRu_ · 08-06-2006, 01:34 AM

It depends on how high on the scale she is...Above 7.5 i'd wait...And for a 9+ i'd sure w8...

This can't be a 10 because of the "bad" way of thinking...

Milamber · 08-06-2006, 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morbid_Mind

3 Date Rule.

No sex after 3 dates and you cut her loose

concurr...an after that there is Rohipnol (cant spell)

TheDeepBlue · 08-06-2006, 03:59 AM

just say to her, if shes not going to get you off in anyway then she cant get you worked up.

15600Squats · 08-06-2006, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stone fox

i was seeing a girl like that last year nothing beyond dry humping for about 3 weeks blue balled to hell. eventually got head out of her but it was alot of work. dont know how you can do it for 2 months, i mean it gets to the point when it's embarassing...she'd be slapping my hand away id be thinking "this reminds me of when i was 13 trying to cop a feel at the junior disco"

only i was 21 and she was 24!

its up to you but for me i was ready to throw in the towel after about 2 months (and we werent even bf gf) just when she started providing oral.
but i was working under a time constraint so if your patient you may believe "good things come to those who wait"?

A lot of it is that we don't really have a place to go at it. When we were in a parking lot, for example, I figured she was stopping me because we were in public; not because she didn't want to do me.

We still don't really have a place; but we were completely alone in her bed the other day and it was the same ****.

15600Squats · 08-06-2006, 04:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheDeepBlue

just say to her, if shes not going to get you off in anyway then she cant get you worked up.

Yeah - that's what I want to do; but I see it as a lose-lose situation.

Either she's going to think I'm saying it because I want to force her into putting out; and she'll get pissed.....

Or....

We'll stop messing around and, if we aren't messing around; she won't feel more comfortable with me - and she'll never feel ready to have sex.

You are right though - I should tell her. But I see us having a big fight over it...

TheDeepBlue · 08-06-2006, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 15600Squats

Yeah - that's what I want to do; but I see it as a lose-lose situation.

Either she's going to think I'm saying it because I want to force her into putting out; and she'll get pissed.....

Or....

We'll stop messing around and, if we aren't messing around; she won't feel more comfortable with me - and she'll never feel ready to have sex.

You are right though - I should tell her. But I see us having a big fight over it...

I did that with my first gf, she ended up getting horny anyway and ended up going all the way. sex is like a drug, once she gets horny if she has to she will.

stoker6913 · 08-06-2006, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 15600Squats

Yeah - that's what I want to do; but I see it as a lose-lose situation.

Either she's going to think I'm saying it because I want to force her into putting out; and she'll get pissed.....

Or....

We'll stop messing around and, if we aren't messing around; she won't feel more comfortable with me - and she'll never feel ready to have sex.

You are right though - I should tell her. But I see us having a big fight over it...

I think this is a bullet you're just going to have to bite. You are both adults, so you shouldn't be afraid to vocalize your feelings in a relationship, and let her know that.

If she plays the card of "forcing her", just explain that if you wanted a relationship based on sex, you would have jumped ship a long time ago (in a more subtle way of course) but also tell her you don't think sex should be completely ignored either.

If she plays the "uncomfortable" card, tell her you have felt uncomfortable for some time now because she is reluctant to commit to you in a physical way even though emotionally you guys are on the up and up.

That's the best advice I can give you; if it works out, you guys can be more physical and if it doesn't, you'll likely end the relationship with a mutual understanding due to the preceding conversation and you both can move on.

Just be civil and respectful and nobody gets hurt.

Gibblets · 08-06-2006, 06:55 PM

I have no experience whatsoever in the post-college dating scene, but I'd say if you like this girl, and she's nice, give her as much time as she needs. Sex isn't the only way to get close to a girl. Show her you can be trusted, and that you'll take care of her...prove it many times over, and she'll open up to you. What's the rush anyways?

To give you an extreme example, I waited 2 years...