all you need to know about being a pua

[MuscleManxx]

1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @..%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.

11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b**ching about the cold right now you're going to be b**ching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.

21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @..%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.

26. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call youre going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now dont call

[DTGG]

ur 15

[MuscleManxx]

did you read it?

[live2learn]

Got to number four and realized how much of an idiot you are, then I looked at your aged and it just proved my point.

[unclejeff]

haha, started out kind of lame....but a few of them had me laughing.

[MuscleManxx]

it surprises me how stupid people are here not to mantion the fact that most of you are adults that was meant to bee funny not for u to actualy do geesh

[live2learn]

Haha, I kept reading and realized it was funny, I take back what I said.

[live2learn]

24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

I like that one.

[Big Ad]

lmao at you guys not realising that this is a joke

[MuscleManxx]

hahaa yaa some are very funny o wonder what would happenh if u actaly did that

[live2learn]

Ya I laughed at myself, oh well.

[Superkid2]

I already knew all that.

[Super Man]

chloiform is your friend

[looks at my sig and cries]

[worker1]

That was funny.

[Man2kx]

14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

Lol.

[MuscleManxx]

bump

[Fall of Society]

Holy **** that was funny.

I never laughed so hard before. "like basketball" LMAO

[magicmatt]

i'm going to make a prediction and say that you're going to bed alone tonight. then again, so am i. but that was damn funny. f*ck girls.

[jlazz]

ROFLMFAO...MuscleMan you're the man,....thx for the laugh...fking hilarious

[K_Ching]

Originally Posted by MuscleManxx

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

This one's good.

[jlazz]

5 Stars

Tomorrow when I'm w/ my girl watching Poseidon and she starts crying..ima say "STOP CRYING YOU DUMB BITCH" because thats what a PUA would do.

[Atlasz]

Good Work.

[Big_League]

lmao

[C. Griswald]

i live my life based on that list

[ex421]

These should be inscribed with sacred blood on the back of an ancient papyrus sheet and adorned atop the highest mountain for all the land to witness.

[Amris]

That's hilarious. I laughed at work.

[Dre]

Yeah those really were quite funny I was sitting here laughing and I am managing the gym right now!

[MuscleManxx]

im glad you guys found it funny. im still luaghing at it

[GoodShoot]

yo that is hilarious