I Got Jumped Las Night

spada00 · 05-13-2006, 09:52 PM

yup.....believe it or not.....i got jumped. it can happen to the best of us. i still have the marks to show it. all my friends were around when it happened and they stood around laughing. they let it happen. i cant say i blame them.....maybe i deserved it....maybe i didnt....i dont quite remember. it was a crazy night.

my buddy jon is getting married next sat....im a groomsman. his dad is a pretty cool guy....he set everything up. i was intoxicated at about 6, finished a fith of burbon...my drink of choice was burbon and diet soda. ill remind everyone here that hasnt been reading my posts and following my life like a rockstar, that im a body builder and im cutting 25 pounds, from 200-175 for a show in september, so im on a cutting diet and doing what i can to grow muscle and lose fat. not much food is in me and i burn what is in me, so i got wasted pretty quick. jons dad set us up with a penthouse, 2 sweets and a private dj at the local resort hotel. 3 strippers walk in a little while later as planned and im getting trashed. they start doing their thing....man...one of them was drop dead gorgeous (im in love with a striiiiiiper --its a song---) okay hold on to your seats!!!

after they stop showing their ass shakes and splits and kissing eachother they decided they needed a break. i stand up to pour myself another round.....burbon and diet coke. i attempt to make my way into the kitchen when the next thing i know im face down on the ground. i look around and i see thighs on either side of my head and feel pressure on my upper back. this stripper is sitting on me, what the hell. next thing i know she slides down to my back, another stripped comes in and takes my shirt off then the 3rd puts a belt around my neck like collar. then of course my buddy offers up his belt, a crocadile leather belt and i start getting whipped. one b**h is whippin me while im shirtless on all fours, the other stripper is laying on her back infront me doing the splits and the other girl doing something else. i wanted to say no stop.....this hurts....but boy do i like pain. i told them they couldnt hurt me if they tried......well ****....a few sobering hours later and a peek in the mirror shows they did. after my little interlude with the strippers (im in love with a striiiiper, --its a song guys, that keeps playing in my head) i had to get out of there. yes they were cute....but something bout being i a hotel room with 12-15 guys and 3 girls with a bunch of raging hormones didnt sound so swell. my buddy eric and i walked across the street......i felt like i was playing frogger i was so drunk. we had to walk through a portion of the state park to get to the neighborhood thats on the water, this is where the bar i wanted to go was. after getting lost in the woods, eric and i decided to try and make it back to civilization. i see the bar we were originally at by the hotel so i start to run through the woods to get there, them WHAP.....mother f'r. im bleeding........i got caught upside the forehead with a damn tree limb....that or i got tied up in the thick ass bushes, i cant remember. im pretty much oblivious to how i made it to the bar i wanted to go to in te first place after that. to keep things straight in the time line....this is when eric and i got split up, i think he said screw it and went to the first bar....tried going in via hopping over the 5 foot wall on the outside pattio and then falling and busting his face then getting picked up by the police. they were nice enough to bring him back to the hotel. me....im a very driven person...i set my mind and follow through...im gonna write a motivational book soon. anyhow...not sure how, but i did manage to make it to the bar i wanted to go to the whole time.....kokomos. i got in....ran into a bunch of friends of mine. had a few more drinks....yes burbon and diet. i ran into the lady who was my 6th grade teacher, im 22 now incase you forgot. you should remember, afterall i am a rock star....or party like one at least. we hang out, then i run into the rest of my buddies. i see this other older chick too....she was pretty fugly....sunken eyes...pale skin, looks like she was in a jewish concentration camp, but hey, i figured she had to be a nice gal to make up for where she lacked in other departments. so i pull one of the other groomsman and asked if he liked older women..."uh, im not sure, ive never dated any" , my response to that was "ricky, meet....." she said her name and i dipped out laughing my ass off. apparently later on that night she went back to the hotel room with them and in the parking lot he went to pick her up off the ground and dropped her on her head. hey....at least you cant make a bad painting worse. i didnt see it happen.....why not you ask? i ended up hanging out with, well lets call her Mrs. Robinson. no no...shes divorced....but when we started hanging out last year, i would meet up with her at her husbands bar....hey guys you cant blame me....the drinks were cheap...he always paid. haha. i know i know, im going to hell. well....i leave with her and had to make it home this morning by 9, i had my personal training class today.....i just looked in the mirror...my forehead is gashed....my back and ass were whipped raw and man i had a great time. p.s, this is why i stopped drinking 6 months ago. holy cow. im still in the "never again" stage, but im sure that will change at the weddings reception.

worker1 · 05-13-2006, 09:54 PM

startin makin trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bell air. I whistled for a cab. .

Yogurt · 05-13-2006, 10:02 PM

lol nights are crazy when you are drunk, and strippers!

Ravage7 · 05-13-2006, 10:03 PM

dude WTF, i have seen some rambling **** on this forums but nothing quite like this

OnceTwiceThrice · 05-13-2006, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravage7

dude WTF, i have seen some rambling **** on this forums but nothing quite like this

^^ what he said

spada00 · 05-13-2006, 10:15 PM

sorry guys.......ive been in the house all day. i had my ACE class earlier today then ive been bored since. the last time i went crazy like this was boston for new years.....i vowed to not get drunk like that for a long time....i havnt, but it was my buddies bachelor party...i couldnt not party like it was his last single weekend ya know. ive got some other crazy stories.

David77 · 05-13-2006, 10:19 PM

I only read a few sentences, but your have some ****ty friends. My friends would join in to help me if I got jumped.

spada00 · 05-13-2006, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David77

I only read a few sentences, but your have some ****ty friends. My friends would join in to help me if I got jumped.

you stopped reading too soon.....

magicmatt · 05-13-2006, 10:31 PM

i didnt even read the whole thing, but you probably deserved it

David77 · 05-13-2006, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spada00

you stopped reading too soon.....

I'll never know then. I'm not reading the longest run-on sentence in human history.

One Man Army · 05-13-2006, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by magicmatt

i didnt even read the whole thing, but you probably deserved it

to sum it up he basically said that he and his friends got a nice rooma a hotel.

He went and chilled with some ladies and his guy friends at the pool. He was eyeing some other guy and the other guy was eyeing him back. They met up at the bathrooms and the threadstarter started giving this otehr dude fellatio out in the hall in front of the bathrooms. He took it too far and started inserting his fingers into this guy butt, the guy said "no". He wouldnt stop..he admitted to being an idiot and being too drunk. This other guys friends came over and jumped him and beat him up.

magicmatt · 05-13-2006, 10:45 PM

thats no reason to get jumped, ive already done that twice this month

I just read the whole thing, and i still dont understand it. im not reading it again.

Sinista_Def · 05-13-2006, 10:46 PM

Is the part where u got jumped, the part with the tree branch, other wise i dont get it. u mention it in the thing before the story but in the actual story, where is the jumping?

little0z · 05-13-2006, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by worker1

startin makin trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bell air. I whistled for a cab. .

Best show ever...*high five*