 |
05-07-2006, 05:47 AM
|
#1
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 710
|
some guy tryed to attack me
Too bad they didn’t know I lifted.
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 05:49 AM
|
#2
|
|
I bent my wookie
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: sydney australia
Stats: 188 lbs
Posts: 12,370
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 13652
|
Mmmmmm ok
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 05:49 AM
|
#3
|
|
HIGH, I'M HI.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: California, United States
Posts: 10,556
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 31173
|
Yeah, oddly enough, the same exact thing happened to me yesterday.
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
__________________
"Looks don't matter when you're in love, which is why I'll never fall in love, because looks always matter." -Gandhi
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 05:52 AM
|
#4
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: United Kingdom (Great Britain)
Age: 19
Stats: 6'4", 226 lbs
Posts: 6,278
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 18939
|
get him in the camel clutch.. on a serious note: wtf?
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 06:25 AM
|
#5
|
|
Fallen to Ruin
Join Date: Oct 2001
Age: 32
Posts: 12,569
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1281
|
lol
__________________
But the solace lay beyond the darkness
In a land where light and life dwell
Yet soon will come death and the numbing fires
Only then will my mind lie to rest
For I am alone on this world
Enslaved and surrounded by the living dead
Yet still I stand tall as I bleed
Deep from within the cuts upon my skin
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 06:36 AM
|
#6
|
|
The Elite
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: eating your children
Posts: 7,104
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 15
|
lmao you only read this **** on bb.com
__________________
HONEY!
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 06:59 AM
|
#7
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
gotta be victorian guy!
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 07:24 AM
|
#8
|
|
'\_(o.o)_/'
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New York, United States
Posts: 15,874
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 34598
|
Yeah, oddly enough, the same exact thing happened to me yesterday.
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
__________________
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
▒I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.▒
▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 07:31 AM
|
#9
|
|
-::|[Jack The Ripped]|::-
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Dubai
Age: 19
Posts: 1,801
|
what he said ^
__________________
[Rest In Peace Eddie Guerrero.]-[Rest In Peace Kurt Cobain.]-[Rest In Peace Mitch Hedberg.]
-Cool Board Members: jkeithc82, Slated, 40-Yard Dash_2, TheChamp316, FreshMintBlue, Seroph4x, ChingChang_Chow.
-The More You Sweat In Training, The Less You'll Bleed At War.
eat BIG. lift BIG. sleep BIG. GET BIG.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 07:43 AM
|
#10
|
|
Meritocrat
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: MD/DC
Stats: 6'2", 240 lbs
Posts: 13,528
BodyPoints: 13438
|
These tales all sound remarkably similar to a little experience I had yesterday. It went a little something like this.
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
__________________
Cave ab homine unius libri.
R.I.P. Steve/Raprazant...you will be missed.
R.I.P. TwiloMike...you were a man among men.
Misc Scrambled Porn Crew
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:12 AM
|
#11
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 710
|
part 2 of this story will include details of how I pleasured my wife while high on pump tech.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:23 AM
|
#12
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
The whole quoting thing aint funny, you gimps.
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:32 AM
|
#13
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2005
Stats: 5'11", 193 lbs
Posts: 2,193
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7276
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by foodeater
It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”.
I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
|
that made mel ol
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:36 AM
|
#14
|
|
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 320
|
lmao@bonerjams
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:38 AM
|
#15
|
|
on recharge
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States of America
Posts: 13,598
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7960
|
That was a good story bro. Similar thing happened to me, but mine was more intense
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 09:42 AM
|
#16
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
^^ not funny
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:10 AM
|
#17
|
|
on recharge
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States of America
Posts: 13,598
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7960
|
^stfu bitch ill PIITB
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:13 AM
|
#18
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
^^ are you gay?
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:14 AM
|
#19
|
|
on recharge
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States of America
Posts: 13,598
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7960
|
^ Who isn't?
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:16 AM
|
#20
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Age: 10
Posts: 2,775
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by foodeater
Too bad they didn’t know I lifted.
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Italian restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
|
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:17 AM
|
#21
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by UnlimitedSteel
^ Who isn't?
|
probuck
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:19 AM
|
#22
|
|
on recharge
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: United States of America
Posts: 13,598
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7960
|
lol that guys a complete homo isn't he
HK
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:26 AM
|
#23
|
|
OMNISCIENT.
Join Date: Jan 2003
Age: 24
Posts: 6,281
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1691
|
lmao yeah
__________________
NEW; Looking to meet someone hideously ugly, with very little or no personality. If you think you fit the bill, let me know! All applicants welcome.
NO CELLTECH SOURCE-CHECKS.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:32 AM
|
#24
|
|
Hectically built knt
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Age: 23
Stats: 5'10", 190 lbs
Posts: 4,373
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 11447
|
Geez ,same sorta thing happened to me awhile back:
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Greek restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 450lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
I went to a Greek restaurant though
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:35 AM
|
#25
|
|
MONSTER!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Stats: 5'8", 300 lbs
Posts: 6,697
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 9863
|
This happened to me last Friday, something strange is going on!
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Greek restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 900lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:38 AM
|
#26
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
Stats: 5'11", 196 lbs
Posts: 10,850
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 23825
|
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:39 AM
|
#27
|
|
Skunk racing legend
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Morgantown, West Virginia, United States
Age: 21
Stats: 5'11", 208 lbs
Posts: 8,148
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 23372
|
That reminds me of an experience I had in my early youth......
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Greek restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 900lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
__________________
Excuses are just tools of incompetence,
Used to build monuments of nothingness,
And those who specialized in the uses seldom achieve anything
[A.W.P] Anti White-Knight Police Force
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:41 AM
|
#28
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 609
|
Wow cool story bro. It reminds me of this one time a while back, well...
My wife and I had a wonderful dinner last night at a nice little Greek restaurant. I had been low-carb dieting lately so this meal really hit the spot. Not to mention, before even going to eat I drank a cell-tech shake. Needless to say I was pumped, pimped, and on the prowl. My necklace lay between my pecs like a river running through mighty mountains. After leaving, we were walking to the cars when out of nowhere these two guys jump out with a knife and say “gimme your money”. It was a dark alley and the visibility was very poor. Since I was wearing a big Hawaiian shirt that covered my build and it was dark, they obviously had no idea I lifted weights. That would be the biggest mistake on their lives!!!!
I look at the guy with the knife, put my hands on my hips, bounced my pecs, and let out a hearty Viking laugh “HA HA HA, AAARRRRRGGGH!!!!” It was at that point he knew he had just made the biggest mistake of his life - he had jumped a man who was “one with the Iron”. I could smell the fresh feces and urine running down his legs as I walked up to him. He just stood there frozen with fear. I stopped about three feet from him and descended into a deep dream state. I pictured myself under a 900lb bench press, getting ready to lift. I could feel my muscles filling with blood. I was ready.
With my eyes still closed, I open-hand jab the guy right in his chest, slicing right though his flesh, grabbing his heart, and ripping it right out of his body. Is it then that I opened my eyes, looked right into his eyes, and took a bite of his still beating heart like I would an apple. I chewed the piece, swallowed, and let out a hearty "AAAAARRRRRRGGGRRH” The motionless man collapsed right there. His friend began screaming but soon passed out from sheer horror.
I dropped the heart, wiped my hand clean on the dead mans shirt, and walked away. As we were getting in our Expedition, the cops showed up with lights and sirens. They were screaming for me to get on the ground. I reached into truck to the floorboard in the back seat and grabbed my weight belt. I then held it high in the air outside the truck and said “I lift”. I could hear one of them say “Don’t shoot, he’s a bodybuilder”, and soon they turned their lights and sirens off.
I asked one of the officers if I could press the swat van for a few reps cause I never really hit failure during the fight. He said sure, so I crawled under the front of the van and knocked out about 15 perfect-form reps. I signed a few autographs and would soon be on my way home with my wife.
Once again, bodybuilding saved my life.
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 10:46 AM
|
#29
|
|
Hectically built knt
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Newcastle, Australia
Age: 23
Stats: 5'10", 190 lbs
Posts: 4,373
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 11447
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by RiK
lmao yeah
|
dont abuse the rep system by negging unnecessarily bitch
|
|
|
05-07-2006, 11:47 AM
|
#30
|
|
Banned
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 710
|
bump
|
|
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
Member Login
Sign in for more FREE features and tools!
|
|