Why all "good guys" should study PUAs...

[Amris]

Because getting a girl for a relationship is almost no different at all than getting her to have sex with you so you can move on the next.

A lot of you guys who want relationships won't listen to pick up artists on priciple. Because you don't want to USE the girl. The thing is... what you do after the first time you have sex is different. What you do to get to that point shouldn't be.


Just a word to the wise who want to get into a relationship. Practice getting numbers from women about whom you don't care. When your confidence is highly increased, then go try with the woman you're hot on. Just don't screw the women. Use these interactions and successes to boost your confidence and to "practice" for "the real thing."


You're welcome.

[MonarchX]

Numbers don't mean crap though.

I get numbers, REAL numbers, but I get blown off each and every single time (isn't that great?).

You are right about PUAs. You can use their advice to get into girl's pants and then instead of dumping them, simply staying with them and having a relationship.

Thing is...when you are being a PUA, you are not likely telling the truth and being yourself. The girl may stop liking you afterwards.

Also, if you base relationship after sex like that then the whole thing is based on sex, and not compatibility and such.
If you end up going out with several women and not having sex UNTIL you get to know them real well and see how you fit in a non-sexual manner then you have a very good chance of a LONG term relationship.

[nForced]

getting a girl to stay with you once shes reached the status of your girlfriend is realively easy, its choosing the right one and seducing is the hard part.

[Amris]

I agree with you somewhat, Monarch. Here's where we differ, however.

Most of the time, once the guy gains confidence, "being himself" in an honest manner becomes FAR easier.

The VAST majority of mistakes that guys make with women are based, quite literally... on insecurity. And the majority of guys can't really totally bury their true personality. Oh, sure, some try.


But I think that people in general take "be yourself" in the wrong way. They think it means "be your old insecure self" instead of meaning, "be your true self," and a person's true self NEVER EVER comes out when a person is insecure.

That's where "I should have said" comes from. They later come up with a brilliant line. Why later? Because at the time, they were too nervous to come up with something witty.

But confidence, like all things, must be earned and practiced.

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by Amris

I agree with you somewhat, Monarch. Here's where we differ, however.

Most of the time, once the guy gains confidence, "being himself" in an honest manner becomes FAR easier.

The VAST majority of mistakes that guys make with women are based, quite literally... on insecurity. And the majority of guys can't really totally bury their true personality. Oh, sure, some try.


But I think that people in general take "be yourself" in the wrong way. They think it means "be your old insecure self" instead of meaning, "be your true self," and a person's true self NEVER EVER comes out when a person is insecure.

That's where "I should have said" comes from. They later come up with a brilliant line. Why later? Because at the time, they were too nervous to come up with something witty.

But confidence, like all things, must be earned and practiced.

Yeah. I noticed that my confidence comes primarily from expecting to be blown off in the worst manner.
Thing is, girls don't blow off guys with "Ha, hell no!" but rather nice sweet way.

Also, it seems a lot easier to hang out with a girl when you know that she KNOWS for sure that you want her and want to date her.
It seems much harder to think about whats gonna happen when in reality nothing bad really happens.

What bothers me is that if you gain such a high level of confidence then you entirely forget about emotions and feelings and all you really want it sex. No attachment whatsoever.

Also, my idea is that you should try to date people who are just as nervous to approach you as you are to approach them. Meaning, both people are nervous...it seems like its going to have a better effect in the end. It would be more rewarding for your own...spirit.

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by nForced

getting a girl to stay with you once shes reached the status of your girlfriend is realively easy, its choosing the right one and seducing is the hard part.

When do you call a girl your girlfriend? I mean, plenty of people I know of who don't have sex and have GFs/BFs.
I just storngly disagree that relationship means dating AFTER having sex. I'll never agree with it.

[nForced]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

When do you call a girl your girlfriend? I mean, plenty of people I know of who don't have sex and have GFs/BFs.
I just storngly disagree that relationship means dating AFTER having sex. I'll never agree with it.

It doesn't, it's whatever you want it to be, I could pick up a chick at the bar, see her once or twice, now I could have 2 goals, LTR or just one night stand or even **** buddy, how you play it once you have; opened -> created attracted -> seduced -> now its upto you where you go from there.

It's just alot of the time a relationship can expect to follow from sex.

[jlazz]

Here's an example: Before I had a gf...I was insecure and sorta nervous inside when talking to girls and was relatively quiet. After I got my gf, when we hung out I was crazy and thats who I really am. I did anything I wanted. In a clothing store, she told me try on a shirt, and I didn't think twice about taking off my clothes in the middle of the store...I would never do that normally because I'm insecure. But when I was with her and knew she accepted me and liked me for who I was, I was able to be who I really am down deep. I had a lot more fun too. Instead of caring about what people though of me I was laughing at myself and having a good time.

I'm working on getting like that without having someone there as my anchor. Its hard...I often wonder how other people are viewing me and such.

[FreeBirdbulker]

what if the true me is someone who loves music and bodybuilding and thats it. I dont drink. I used to all the time, but Im 100% dedicated to my bodybuilding now. I make sure I eat clean and every 2.5 hours. I love music. I personally wouldnt date a girl if she disliked my music because its such a part of me. what do you say to that? im not an AFC with the girls. I just dont do much more than bodybuild and music

[Amris]

Most of the methods don't require a bar... they're about approach, which can be done anywhere.

Again, the main points are how to create mystique and interest. When to call them, when not to. What kind of behavior from the woman is what kind of test, and how to respond to it to disarm it.

How to make yourself attractive, how to present yourself, what to accept as truth from women, and what is "woman games."




I am not talking about being exaclty like another guy. I am talking about the understanding that these guys have of "don't call her for 2 days after getting her number" or "don't spend every day with her (even if you want to)" or "do tease her".



Not "never buy her a beer, only a wine" (or whatever).

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by Amris

Most of the methods don't require a bar... they're about approach, which can be done anywhere.

Again, the main points are how to create mystique and interest. When to call them, when not to. What kind of behavior from the woman is what kind of test, and how to respond to it to disarm it.

How to make yourself attractive, how to present yourself, what to accept as truth from women, and what is "woman games."




I am not talking about being exaclty like another guy. I am talking about the understanding that these guys have of "don't call her for 2 days after getting her number" or "don't spend every day with her (even if you want to)" or "do tease her".



Not "never buy her a beer, only a wine" (or whatever).

Sounds like way too much to get someone...

I still don't understand...If I get approached constantly and get smiled at and etc etc...why is it that after getting their numbers and calling them up to hang out...they never do?
If they didn't like me, they'd give no number or give a fake.

[zar_man12321]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

Sounds like way too much to get someone...

I still don't understand...If I get approached constantly and get smiled at and etc etc...why is it that after getting their numbers and calling them up to hang out...they never do?
If they didn't like me, they'd give no number or give a fake.

Here's a few reasons:

1) There wasn't enough or any attraction and she gave you her number because she couldn't say no to your face, or wanted an ego boost.
2) There was attraction, but there were 8 other guys that she was more attracted to.
3) There was attraction, but she wants to play the game.
4) Social barriers - girls don't want to be seen as "easy to get", otherwise society may label them as s**ts. Of course, it's full of crap, but we have to deal with it nevertheless.

[Sauce-head]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

Sounds like way too much to get someone...

I still don't understand...If I get approached constantly and get smiled at and etc etc...why is it that after getting their numbers and calling them up to hang out...they never do?
If they didn't like me, they'd give no number or give a fake.

I remember a while back Monarch X mocked me as a E-pimp wanna be and said all the PUA tatics are a joke blah blah blah. Well buddy, your still sitting here stalling with girl after girl once you get the number.

If you get approached and get smiles and a girl's number she was most likely PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED to you but once you called and showed your personality and true self, she lost the attraction. Attraction is a word that is often misinterpreted. Attraction means the physical state of a woman's mind that she feels when she's around you, thinks about you or really anything having to do with YOU. Looks are only a small piece of that pie. I was out with a girl very recently who told me she values personality much more over looks. She was quiet attractive.

What Amris is trying to help you guys realize is creating mystery, making her wonder and knowing how to ELEVATE attraction are the important skills that seperate the guys who get girls from that guys who COULD get girls from the guys who get nothing.........so you can continue to mock the principles of a PUA and call them cheesy, stupid bullshyt. But they get you laid, get you gfs and help you acquire self-confidence, which will help you in every avenue of your life.




SH

[zar_man12321]

^ ^

Add to the list:
5) She lost attraction when you called her.

I still remember the days when I was sketchy about not "being yourself". The truth is, all those tactics are really things that were built into guys at birth. All guys KNEW at one point how to attract women. Having "PUA tatics" taught to us really is unlearning all the wrong social programming that was thrown into our brains and it unlocks your TRUE SELF - the one who KNOWS how to attract women. That's probably the MOST valuable lesson I've learned so far - it helps you become MORE yourself.

One of my friends, on rare occasions who I went clubbing with (has a gf now), had the mindset of "Okay, who's the lucky girl tonight?" and he truly believes it. He told me that the girl is the one who is "getting laid" because he knows she wants him a LOT more than he wants her.

[sword chucks]

thats how I got my g/f, by using c/f techniques and purposely not being available that often (even though alot of times it is just what naturally happened anyway)

we all know how it went after that lol

it is also the best way to deal with relationship problems too IMO, use humor to cover up the probs

[MonarchX]

Ha, well, I still think its too much to think about or do or worry.

The way things are going, it seems only like one out of 10 men get something from girls, and the rest are virgins rest of their lives or till marriage.

However, I see REALLY clingy guys standing there, doing absolutely nothing, even not talking at parties and girls just get attracted to them and then end up making out and f*cking.

[Inox]

I've found that one of the best things when meeting a woman is talking to her like you'd talk to one of your male friends (provided you're straight). Simply converse, without dropping lines or leering or doing anything else that puts her on the defensive. Also, if it's casual convo, and she wants to bow out, it doesn't have to be awkward.

I think that a lot of the time, focusing too much on the intent of the conversation causes people to emphasize the wrong aspects of interaction, and leads to frustration and embarrassment.

[Taffin]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

Ha, well, I still think its too much to think about or do or worry.

If you're into BBing, you should know anything worth having takes hard work (or at least good tactics). Even girls who "like you for who you are" have to be monitored a little bit, lest you end up broken hearted. But also like dieting, once you do it successfully enough times, it becomes second nature.

However, I see REALLY clingy guys standing there, doing absolutely nothing, even not talking at parties and girls just get attracted to them and then end up making out and f*cking.

Sounds like these were just easy girls you missed out on by looking instead of doing. Think of them as slot machines that were "due." Just because a guy walks up, puts a nickel in and wins a million bucks doesn't make his technique successful. He was just in the right place at the right time and probably capitalized on someone else's work without even knowing it.

[BigPoppaPump84]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

However, I see REALLY clingy guys standing there, doing absolutely nothing, even not talking at parties and girls just get attracted to them and then end up making out and f*cking.

I gotta start coming to THESE parties!

[Sarge Jones]

Great post. And she's a girl, too.

[Sarge Jones]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

Ha, well, I still think its too much to think about or do or worry.

The way things are going, it seems only like one out of 10 men get something from girls, and the rest are virgins rest of their lives or till marriage.

However, I see REALLY clingy guys standing there, doing absolutely nothing, even not talking at parties and girls just get attracted to them and then end up making out and f*cking.

Those guys have something called good looks, or social proof, or both. Or maybe you just interpret them being shy. Maybe they are, but they are known by alot of people and have made a name for themselves. You haven't. Here you are mocking the PUA teachings but at the same time complaining as to why you still can't get **** done with the opposite sex. Do yourself a favor and either:

1. Stop posting in this thread
2. Take people's advice and just admit you suck with women and stop second guessing yourself every minute of your life

I'm not going hard on you. You need to be slapped.