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The quickest you have been laid.
Please leave silly jokes aside, I think this thread could turn out well w/o them.
It was 10pm on a Friday night. My best friends and I sat around the living room which was emptied of furniture a couple hours prior.
"What the ****," I said, "where the hell is everyone? We promoted this **** for over a week."
My buddies gave me a shrug and continued to sip on their natty light. We stocked up on about 300 cans of natty light. It's cheap and it gets the ****en job done.
"I'm going to go chill outside," I mumbled, desperately hoping people would show up.
I waited outside sipping on my beer and saw the first glimpse of a car. It was a minivan packed with HOT girls. I directed them towards the house and continued to nurse my beer. Another 5 cars rolled up, then another 3, another 10, another 2349342. I decided it was time to walk inside to be productive.
I noticed my buddies had turned on the disco lights and started pumping the music. I strolled around the house thinking "haha yeah, that's right ****ers, we always throw gnarly parties." Anyway, I continued my way to the beer supply and downed 2 beers upon arrival. I grasped another 4 to stuff in every vacant pocket I had.
After 30mins of screwing around I peaked over at the dance floor to notice about 20 girls dancing and only 1 guy. What the hell, I thought. I turned around to observe all the pussy-ass guys sitting around and drooling at the chicks. It's enough of screwing around, I thought, It's disco time.
As ****ed up as I was, I managed to pull a swirl and hit the dance floor. Now, let me back up a bit. For some reason when I'm drunk I think I'm super ****en cool. Like that swirl, for example, I thought I was the hottest **** on earth. I don't know why, but I am trying to stop... it's pretty pathetic.
Anyway, after dancing with the hotties I step off the floor to deal with nature. I proceeded to the bathroom and swung the door behind me. It halted before fully closing. Some chick had followed me to the freaking bathroom, LOL. I didn't take much notice of it and continued on with my piss. I zipped up and BOOM, the chick was humping me like a monkey.
**** it, I thought. "yuou, knoww i have a room here,,.upstairs.." i slurred. She grabbed me and we went upstairs.
I kinda passed out for a couple minutes and when I awoke she was sucking my _____. It was as soft as a damn donut and there was nothing I could do to make it harder. Fortunately after a good 10 mins I was 1/2 at my full potential and we continued to do the nasty. It was kinda weird, to say the least....
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Post of the year:
Originally Posted by D-Guy
I have a guy at my gym that likes to take a 30-60 minute nap before he works out. He grabs a padded matt from the ab area and rolls it up and just falls asleep in the corner of the gym. It's really funny to see.
Post of the year2:
Originally Posted by X tupac X
I CALLED bodybuilding.com to ask them to remove a post I had made earlier...
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