Sensible posts and no Colin Powells please this is seriously occupying my mind and time and I need good answers.
This has been coming for quite a while and I've been stewing over it. I think I know what I should do but I want to know if you guys agree.
I've been continuing contact with and seeing the girl that I talked about in my thread (
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=600122 ) despite the flags from her past. For those of you that know about that story skip to the bottom, if you don't know here's a run down.
She cheated on her ex who she was with for 1.5 years by kissing another guy, the relationship ended a little while afterwards despite her ex forgiving her and she was really keen on me but then did a 180 and got back with her ex. Since then she came to see me before she went to university (having said she felt that getting back with her ex was a mistake) and we kissed and had some foreplay but nothing serious. She dumped her then boyfriend a week or so later realising that she wasn't happy with him if she could continue to be attracted to me.
We met up a couple of times and had sex twice, once a week after she broke things off the second time with her boyfriend and then once again when she came to see me at my family home for my father's 60th birthday in mid-October. That weekend she told me that she had kissed a coursemate and I accepted it as we aren't together yet. I told her though that if we do end up together she would not be forgiven for cheating on me and that I would cut ties with her forever if she did it.
Anyway that weekend was very emotional because we both feel strongly for eachother and she felt she wasn't over her ex and that the distance between where we go to universities is a problem. She needed time to work out what she wants. Since then she told me about another guy that she ended up kissing (who has a girlfriend himself and is a 2nd year on her course). She told me about it because she wanted to come clean and didn't want to keep secrets from me. They both realised it was a drunken mistake as soon as it happened and she tells me that they both agreed it would never happen again. Despite all of these flags I still really like her and want to be with her because we share a lot of interests and almost seem to be the same person in how we think sometimes. There is a very strong bond between us.
This last weekend that just passed she asked me to go and see her for Sunday afternoon. We spent time together and had a day shopping, joking around and talking and she ended up playing the piano for me in a practice room in the university. She played her favourite piece of music for me and at the perfect moment we kissed eachother. I'm not joking when I say it was like something out of a film. We felt so close at that point. Since I returned to my house here though on Tuesday she has seemed a bit distant and has been contacting me less and talking less. She's been seemingly avoiding me on MSN (she is setting her status to appear offline when I am around) and is not texting or calling much unless I make the first move (which I do all too easily).
My question is not whether I should dump this girl and forget about her because of her past etc, I'm ok with the fact she kissed other guys because we're not together yet as a couple and she admits they were mistakes, but I am concerned that she's finding attention from other people and the distance is making things hard. On top of that I have found her over the last couple of days, despite a really good meeting on Sunday, ignoring me more.
The question is should I now back off a bit and let her contact me more? I've been a bit of an AFC about this and have even written poetry (it's a way to express myself and girls do love it). I don't want to risk not communicating so much that she feels I've lost interest and finds someone new to replace me. I'm also worried that because she's seemingly avoiding me she is trying to cut things off with me.
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