Why we do children when world is imperfect?

[pu_pu_pu]

I am 14, boy.For last so many years i could not get answer to this question. So i thought i will post on women forum coz women so sensible.My question is :

Why we do children when world is imperfect and life some times can be horrible?

If god was there tsunami would not have happened.I saw on TV infants dead body and mother crying.Every day millions of people around the world pray in church, mosque and temples.What is the use if god can not prevent tsunami.So many kids born last year, died this year due to tsunami-Why at first place they were given birth also taking into fact that those were poor families living in village. Now recently london blast.Any body could have died in those blast.

I think children are born due to sex lust. If sex lust is not there then we would not have so much population.I dont like my grandfather coz he did 5 kids. What was use of doing 5 kids when my grandfather was only person earning in his family and grandmother was housewife.

I know intital happiness is there when kid is born. But so many troubles later on. School troubles, then later on college admissions, then career problems.Some of people dont get these problems, but there are some who do get these problems. You never know your kid will be one of them or not.

One of my high school friends who is just 16 made a girl pregnant and she is just 15.She is now single mum at age of 15 and doesnt come to school any more. Now what is this? isnt it sex lust that the kid was born. When mum will be 35, the kid will be 20. So funny. Just because of sex lust, one more additional burden on scarce earth resources.

President bush havent signed weather climate treaty in G-8 summit.I am telling you some day this earth will come to end. I read some where maldives islands will cease to exist from 50 years now due to sea level increase.

I am not blaming every couple. Couples are who well settled can definately do one kid and can get happiness when kid is growing.In this case couples are providing the best they can provide to kid coz they undertook responsibility for it. But most of the kids/or additional kids get born due to sex lust.

You people must have read in news few days ago walmart board of directors whose grandfather Sr walton founded walmart died in plane crash in his personal plane. See any body can die at any time due to any cause. Coz life is so risky.

I asked my mum same question. She replied if you dont want to do kid, then dont do it.But why do poor families in africa and asia keep on doing kids after kids?I posed same question to my geography teacher and she said these poor people have no other idea of entertainment. Thats why they get pleasure from doing kids.See same concept of lust which i discussed earlier.

I have decided.i will marry coz life with women is good as she can help you in giving mature suggestions. But no kid.I like going to tourist places a lot and i will spend my money there.

My point is couples who are responsible, have financial muscle can do kid as they are doing justice to kid. But couples who cant provide good life to them selves , there is no justice to doing kids.and that kids in line. One is enough.

I am sorry if i hurted any body emotions.May be people negative rep me for this post but i just wanted to speak my mind.

Thank you- Andy.

[suckmypump]

Originally Posted by pu_pu_pu

coz women so sensible.

You'll learn to regret that statement later on. Nothing is more insensible than a woman. To answer your question, humans are mindless ****ing machines with no regard to their own actions.

[mommy*2*3]

I am a mother of a 15 year old boy and a 14 year old girl and a 4 year old girl. I love my kids and they are my life. In fact, I adopted two of my children so they weren't a result of mindless sex. I have always wanted children and I LOVE being a mother. God put us on this earth for a reason and one of them is to marry and have families. We were not meant to have premarital sex. We are supposed to wait until we're married and then have sex. I know this is a very lost concept these days.
Yes, there are ups and downs with having children but there are ups and downs with everything in life. I don't see my children as a burden. Yes, we have school issues and friends issues at times. I also gave my parents those same issues when I was a teenager and I remember those times like yesterday. But guess what? Despite all that my parents love me very much and my chidren and have been very supportive over the years and have always been there for us.
Raising children gives me pleasure not pain. Having children has taught me things as well.
Poor countries don't have resourses like we have here. They don't have bith control options and many are uneducated. Other countries have different religions. Although we may see it like an unwise thing to do....have kids when you're poor....they may see it differently and they may actually be happier then we think.
As far as teenagers having children here in the U.S....that's just irresponsibility.
I agree with you that there are many couples who shouldn't have children because they can't take care of them but it's always been like this since creation. All we can do is pray for them and help them best we can.

[suckmypump]

There was no creation, don't spill your religious garbage over this topic. There is a board for that crap.

[toughnuts]

I am not quite sure if English is your second language, or you may just be a 14 year old who cannot write very well, no offense. Here is my advice: You have alot to learn. Do not blatantly disregard facts for opinions based purely upon emotion. You will likely go to a community college or University where crap is thrown at you everyday. My advice again, is to read and study. Do not stand for being blindly lead by people. Do your research.

Edit: Oh yeah, I disagree with the statements that your question is based upon, so to answer your question would be folly. btw, I am conservative.

[VanillaBean_21]

Originally Posted by mommy*2*3

I am a mother of a 15 year old boy and a 14 year old girl and a 4 year old girl. I love my kids and they are my life. In fact, I adopted two of my children so they weren't a result of mindless sex. I have always wanted children and I LOVE being a mother. God put us on this earth for a reason and one of them is to marry and have families. We were not meant to have premarital sex. We are supposed to wait until we're married and then have sex. I know this is a very lost concept these days.
Yes, there are ups and downs with having children but there are ups and downs with everything in life. I don't see my children as a burden. Yes, we have school issues and friends issues at times. I also gave my parents those same issues when I was a teenager and I remember those times like yesterday. But guess what? Despite all that my parents love me very much and my chidren and have been very supportive over the years and have always been there for us.
Raising children gives me pleasure not pain. Having children has taught me things as well.
Poor countries don't have resourses like we have here. They don't have bith control options and many are uneducated. Other countries have different religions. Although we may see it like an unwise thing to do....have kids when you're poor....they may see it differently and they may actually be happier then we think.
As far as teenagers having children here in the U.S....that's just irresponsibility.
I agree with you that there are many couples who shouldn't have children because they can't take care of them but it's always been like this since creation. All we can do is pray for them and help them best we can.

OK well I'm not religious at all so I won't make a comment about that but..

I find your comment about teenagers having children. I had sex once and I was very unlucky to get pregnant. In the position I was in at the point in time, I couldn't get an abortion. If I could have I would. I know plenty of teenage parents who are irresponsible but not all are. Some devote their lives to their kids and do whatever they can to give them the best life they can. I dropped out of school for one year but I am back at it now and I plan on graduating and going to college. It all depends on the teenager.

[mommy*2*3]

Originally Posted by suckmypump

There was no creation, don't spill your religious garbage over this topic. There is a board for that crap.

I'm not answering your rude posts...I'm answering the 14 year old who has mentioned God in his post. I'm sorry you don't like to hear about religious issues but I'm exercising my freedom of speech.

[mommy*2*3]

Originally Posted by VanillaBean_21

OK well I'm not religious at all so I won't make a comment about that but..

I find your comment about teenagers having children. I had sex once and I was very unlucky to get pregnant. In the position I was in at the point in time, I couldn't get an abortion. If I could have I would. I know plenty of teenage parents who are irresponsible but not all are. Some devote their lives to their kids and do whatever they can to give them the best life they can. I dropped out of school for one year but I am back at it now and I plan on graduating and going to college. It all depends on the teenager.

My intentions were not to offend anyone. I think this young man is troubled by something and maybe is looking for some positive comments about parenting.
As far as the teenagers having sex...yes all it takes is one time and I stress this to my teenagers all the time.

[M(0)NSTER]

1st: We have kids beause that's what we are here for. Survival of the species,
not all will live, but the strongest will, and they will adapt. This is the point
of evolution...get over it.

2nd: teens have kids becasue they have raging hormones and don't think twice
about have sex. As with most kids, you do what you want now...think
about the problems when they occure.

3rd: There is no god, that's why your prayers will never be answered and
miracles will never happen. If you think you've seen a miracle, it's a
stroke of luck and not gods miniscule way of saying "im here!!" More
people die killing eachother fighting about who's god REALLY exists than
any disease or disaster ever documented...COMBINED. Churches use
religion to get rich, poor people and weak minded individuals believe,
becasue neither of the two can beleive they are going through hell
on earth for no reason, there must be something better than this when
we die. NEWS FLASH: There ISNT! Make the best of your life, because
there isn't going to be another one. If you want something in life, ****ing
make it happen yourself...don't pray to "GOD" that you get it, becasue
you will end dying with nothing.

4th: I'm not bashing religion all together, becasue it DOES help some people
cope with life and do SOME positive things. I think of it as therapy for
some indviduals


You might not agree with me, but in the end...I'm still a Dr. and I'm always right

[guy_attitude]

lol.. you are still a kid and you thinking about your kids.

1)every women is not sensible. the kind of affection you are showing for women will take you no where as your wife/Gf will sit on top of ur head and dance like devil. change your attitude towards women and your signature also.

2) its love between couples. sex lust is not right word. until and unless you are not gay your human body have urge to make physical love with opposite sex to feel satisfy emotionally.so it starts with sex lust but ends with love.and proof of love is kid born.

3)United states, the country where you live have the culture of teenage single mum. You have to accept it as its part of your country.I dont see anything wrong in it because thats how people live in your country.

4)As Monster said: survival of fittest.Thats the essence of life.Dont think too much. enjoy life as it comes. If you dont want family sort of life, live as you want.these are negative thoughts which will hamper your life.

[TigerAngelLeigh]

A lot of people, especially in 3rd world countires, have children as a result of a lack of education - they weren't taught about contraception, which is why the AIDs rate is so high. As lovely and utopian as it would be to only have children if you can afford it, the world doesn't work out like that - and why should some people be denied the right to have children just because they were born poor?

[FabulouslyFit]

Originally Posted by mommy*2*3

I am a mother of a 15 year old boy and a 14 year old girl and a 4 year old girl. I love my kids and they are my life. In fact, I adopted two of my children so they weren't a result of mindless sex. I have always wanted children and I LOVE being a mother. God put us on this earth for a reason and one of them is to marry and have families. We were not meant to have premarital sex. We are supposed to wait until we're married and then have sex. I know this is a very lost concept these days.
Yes, there are ups and downs with having children but there are ups and downs with everything in life. I don't see my children as a burden. Yes, we have school issues and friends issues at times. I also gave my parents those same issues when I was a teenager and I remember those times like yesterday. But guess what? Despite all that my parents love me very much and my chidren and have been very supportive over the years and have always been there for us.
Raising children gives me pleasure not pain. Having children has taught me things as well.
Poor countries don't have resourses like we have here. They don't have bith control options and many are uneducated. Other countries have different religions. Although we may see it like an unwise thing to do....have kids when you're poor....they may see it differently and they may actually be happier then we think.
As far as teenagers having children here in the U.S....that's just irresponsibility.

I agree with you that there are many couples who shouldn't have children because they can't take care of them but it's always been like this since creation. All we can do is pray for them and help them best we can.

Well said.

[joysoliel]

Please please please please!! learn to master the English language before even attempting to write anything for public viewing, I couldn't even complete reading your drivel, it was so badly written and mangled! Aweful! And your spewing of nonsense, so juvenile! Why are you on a fitness forum anyway. Nutcase!

[Beklet]

A lot of people in Africa have lots of children and AIDS because the Pope told them contraception was evil, and condoms didn't work.

Not a bash at religion, but the truth.

Meanwhile, I am obviously not meant to be on this earth, because I have no intention of procreating.

[Miranda]

Originally Posted by Beklet

Meanwhile, I am obviously not meant to be on this earth, because I have no intention of procreating.

hahaha you're not the only one

[M(0)NSTER]

Originally Posted by TigerAngelLeigh

A lot of people, especially in 3rd world countires, have children as a result of a lack of education - they weren't taught about contraception, which is why the AIDs rate is so high. As lovely and utopian as it would be to only have children if you can afford it, the world doesn't work out like that - and why should some people be denied the right to have children just because they were born poor?

WOW, OK.

I'm not sure where you learned that, but that is FAR from the truth. Please note that us americans are a hand full of a few countries who feel that having kids is a "hinderance". As with most 3rd world countries the men want to keep having kids until they get a SON. They feel this is the only way his bloodline will survive. From his standpoint hes right...to an extent.

From natures' standpoint, this is what is required. Keep having kids until a generation that is produced will survive. It's evolution happening right before our eyes and most of you are too blind too see it. One day, maybe when we are all dead of old age and having a great comfortable life...an african will be born having complete immunity to aids. Hell, it's already happening in other places of the world.

We are a rich country, and we can afford the research to try and beat nature to natural evolution. Other countries have to rely on the "old school" evolution and survival of the fittest. One day, our technology will not be able to save us from anything. We would have relied so much on meds. that our immune systems will be the weakest of all and we will all die because of it. Nature doesn't have these diseases floating around for no reason. As with our own body, the world is a system of checks and balances; and we've tipped the scales too far in our favor. These diseases will keep getting stronger and stronger until there nothing our technology can do to stop it.

You don't think Mother Nature knows it's over populated with greedy, resource wasting humans? World population WILL be reduced across the board sooner or later.


...Our fear of dying is what's going to kill us in the end...

[caligrl26]

UH.... I don't do children, but I have them. And i'm a single mother and I don't have alot of money and FYI just because you do not have alot of money DOES not mean You should not have children. Some of the most driven ,hardworking, and humble people I know come from family's who struggled to keep food on the table!! You take a bunch of little spoiled rich kids and what do you get ? Adults who have relied on their parent for everything and think they are better than everyone else. 16 year old's driving bmw's who have never worked a day in their life. I'm not saying all well off people are like that. But different backrounds and different upbringings, make for a variety of different people, And thats what makes this world unique. If a 14 year old girl has a baby and puts it up for adoption, her mistake has brought happiness to a family that could not have children. The 15 year old who keeps her child and takes responsibility for her actions is also not to be frowned upon. Tsunami was a act of nature, there is a reason that everything happens. There is a time to live and a time die. Be it in a huge tidal wave, a plane crash, a war even. I don't think the question is why do we have children. It should be why do we kill our own people, our own children, why do we take the gift of life and treat it like garbage. The world is so screwed up now days that we get 14 year old boys who ask "Why do we do children".

[M(0)NSTER]

Originally Posted by caligrl26

UH.... I don't do children, but I have them. The world is so screwed up now days that we get 14 year old boys who ask "Why do we do children".

I just turned this into the best post ever

GOOD ONE!

[caligrl26]

Rofl!

[M(0)NSTER]

"Why we do children when world is imperfect?"

So you're saying in a perfect world, we should be able to "DO" children?

...Two thumbs down bro, you're too extreme for me...


JK

[caligrl26]

I say pu pu pu on that question,which I believe was more of a statement! Lets go ahead and stop doing children, then we wouldn't have so many warped adults. Pu pu Did you have a troubled childhood or were you raised in poverty? When I was 14 I was concentrating on being a kid, and doing things teenagers do. Not worrying about adult business. UMMM yah sex lust??? If that's what i think it is. It's a natural human urge, reproduction. If everyone stopped having kids, it would all come to an end ( which it will eventually anyways, cause we will all probly kill each other) Face it little man, humans are like animals. Just smarter! Well in some cases, not all. You should live your life to make yourself happy, and not worry about other people's sex lust. Your just a mere child, take advantage of that. I think you may have underlying issues and rereading your post has for some reason given me the idea you have a problem with men, You don't like your grandfather for having 5 children, well sweetie thats how they did it back then, men worked, women stayed home. People worked to survive. You should thank him, because without him you would have never been. I am thankful for my little girls, who will one day grow into women and have children of their own. And I am thankful for my parents who were not well off when I was young, because they have taught me that family is more important than money, and if you work hard you can achieve your goals!!!!!!

[pu_pu_pu]

Thank you for your replies. I appreciate. I like what monster said:Survival of fitest. I think who is fit will survive, others will perish.

My grandfather is 78 years old, live in old age home, doesnt have a penny in his pocket. He doesnt give me any thing for xmas and bday coz he doesnt have anything to give. He couldnt make a home in his whole life.The reason being simple-5 kids. When you do 5 kids, automatically standard of living decreases.If he could have controlled his sex drive and do 1 or maximum 2 kids, then today his situation would have been better. How can couple do more then 2 kids.'We two; Our Two' or We two; Our one' should be motto. Incase if some body is adopting children , nothing like it.I dont say anything to my grandfather because i dont want to hurt him but there was no point in doing 5 children when only one person is earning in family.

I dont like life much. But i am not negative type of person. I enjoy nature and BB .My parents are still together and i have elder brother aged 19.If my parents would have done only one kid i.e my elder brother then our standard of living would have been very high.I see some parents who have one kid and then compare our standard of living with theirs and i can pinpoint differences.Our family doctor said my elder brother will be alone so do another baby and hence i was born.My parents give me every thing and i have no problem.

We are like tiny tiny creature in this big universe. Universe is vaccum and hence i also think life is vaccum-Empty.

If life is perfect then this webiste would not have been there: www.mymiserablelife.com.

[Radok]

Originally Posted by suckmypump

There was no creation, don't spill your religious garbage over this topic. There is a board for that crap.

If more people followed that religious crap, there would be alot less problems in the world. Of coarse, there would also be alot less problems without people like you.

[M(0)NSTER]

Originally Posted by pu_pu_pu

Thank you for your replies. I appreciate. I like what monster said:Survival of fitest. I think who is fit will survive, others will perish.

My grandfather is 78 years old, live in old age home, doesnt have a penny in his pocket. He doesnt give me any thing for xmas and bday coz he doesnt have anything to give. He couldnt make a home in his whole life.The reason being simple-5 kids. When you do 5 kids, automatically standard of living decreases.If he could have controlled his sex drive and do 1 or maximum 2 kids, then today his situation would have been better. How can couple do more then 2 kids.'We two; Our Two' or We two; Our one' should be motto. Incase if some body is adopting children , nothing like it.I dont say anything to my grandfather because i dont want to hurt him but there was no point in doing 5 children when only one person is earning in family.

I dont like life much. But i am not negative type of person. I enjoy nature and BB .My parents are still together and i have elder brother aged 19.If my parents would have done only one kid i.e my elder brother then our standard of living would have been very high.I see some parents who have one kid and then compare our standard of living with theirs and i can pinpoint differences.Our family doctor said my elder brother will be alone so do another baby and hence i was born.My parents give me every thing and i have no problem.

We are like tiny tiny creature in this big universe. Universe is vaccum and hence i also think life is vaccum-Empty.

If life is perfect then this webiste would not have been there: www.mymiserablelife.com.

1. English can not be your 1st language

2. Your only 14, Being Melow-Dramatic. Try to get a grip and stop letting your hormones get the best of you.

3.If you're trying to make a point that we are worthless becasue we are a small spec of nothing in the universe, then you are thinking WAY too ****in hard. Concentrate on where you stand in THIS world, not where we all stand in the universe. My brother used to have this dumb logic, it was rediculous.

[pu_pu_pu]

This is i want to say.I found on net:

[TigerAngelLeigh]

How immature you are to think that people only have children because they can't control their sex drive - even at 14 I wasn't that stupid or naive!

And how sad that you wish you had less family just so that your grandfather would give you presents.

[TigerAngelLeigh]

Originally Posted by M(0)NSTER

WOW, OK.

I'm not sure where you learned that, but that is FAR from the truth. Please note that us americans are a hand full of a few countries who feel that having kids is a "hinderance". As with most 3rd world countries the men want to keep having kids until they get a SON. They feel this is the only way his bloodline will survive. From his standpoint hes right...to an extent.

We are a rich country, and we can afford the research to try and beat nature to natural evolution. Other countries have to rely on the "old school" evolution and survival of the fittest. One day, our technology will not be able to save us from anything. We would have relied so much on meds. that our immune systems will be the weakest of all and we will all die because of it. Nature doesn't have these diseases floating around for no reason. As with our own body, the world is a system of checks and balances; and we've tipped the scales too far in our favor. These diseases will keep getting stronger and stronger until there nothing our technology can do to stop it.

You don't think Mother Nature knows it's over populated with greedy, resource wasting humans? World population WILL be reduced across the board sooner or later.


...Our fear of dying is what's going to kill us in the end...

Actually, it's closer to the truth than you are. Many families in 3rd world countries (thinking specially of Afircan countries) are made up of single mothers and it makes no difference whether the children are male or female. The major problem is that most people are Catholic and don't use contraception and/or can't afford it (they don't seem to have a problem with sex before marriage). In fact, the country with the worst problems with families preferring sons over daughters is China (not a 3rd world country) - their attempt to limit the amount of children people have has led to hundreds of girls being left in orphanages where they sit hungry in their own waste, made worse by the restrictions China places on Westerners adopting from China. Most 3rd world families continue having children even when they already have a son.

Just because America is a rich country (I'm not American by the way) doesn't mean that their people are worth more than others. You were lucky to be born into a country which can afford to care for you, but that doesn't mean you deserve that care any more than the thousands of African children who die of curable diseases every day. What makes you so important that you have the right to 'cheat nature' and attempt to cure any illness you get? Or can I assume that you refuse all medical treatment when you are ill? If you can receive treatment for illness, why should people in 3rd world countries be denied that right?

[M(0)NSTER]

Originally Posted by TigerAngelLeigh

Actually, it's closer to the truth than you are. Many families in 3rd world countries (thinking specially of Afircan countries) are made up of single mothers and it makes no difference whether the children are male or female. The major problem is that most people are Catholic and don't use contraception and/or can't afford it (they don't seem to have a problem with sex before marriage). In fact, the country with the worst problems with families preferring sons over daughters is China (not a 3rd world country) - their attempt to limit the amount of children people have has led to hundreds of girls being left in orphanages where they sit hungry in their own waste, made worse by the restrictions China places on Westerners adopting from China. Most 3rd world families continue having children even when they already have a son.

Just because America is a rich country (I'm not American by the way) doesn't mean that their people are worth more than others. You were lucky to be born into a country which can afford to care for you, but that doesn't mean you deserve that care any more than the thousands of African children who die of curable diseases every day. What makes you so important that you have the right to 'cheat nature' and attempt to cure any illness you get? Or can I assume that you refuse all medical treatment when you are ill? If you can receive treatment for illness, why should people in 3rd world countries be denied that right?

1. I think you missed the whole point of my post

2. You are right. When I am ill I DO refuse any treatment. I deserve to suffer just like anyone else. I prefer it that way. You know what? It makes me a stronger person as a whole. Iv'e broken my wrist 3 times, and each time I never went to the doctor, I had my dad put it back in place.

...Who knows, maybe I just like to suffer ...

[TurbulentFluid]

Originally Posted by guy_attitude

lol.. you are still a kid and you thinking about your kids.

1)every women is not sensible. the kind of affection you are showing for women will take you no where as your wife/Gf will sit on top of ur head and dance like devil. change your attitude towards women and your signature also.

2) its love between couples. sex lust is not right word. until and unless you are not gay your human body have urge to make physical love with opposite sex to feel satisfy emotionally.so it starts with sex lust but ends with love.and proof of love is kid born.

3)United states, the country where you live have the culture of teenage single mum. You have to accept it as its part of your country.I dont see anything wrong in it because thats how people live in your country.

4)As Monster said: survival of fittest.Thats the essence of life.Dont think too much. enjoy life as it comes. If you dont want family sort of life, live as you want.these are negative thoughts which will hamper your life.

This is the dumbest post I've ever read in my life! *LOLOLOL* Minus the 4), which is almost a quote anyway. Gimme a BREAK... I specially love YOUR attitute to women, as apparently we're all b**ches who'll sit on top of your head and dance like the devil. It's not only untrue, but also highly insultive and totally uncalled for. If your own lack of judgement of character brought you to dissappointment, just because you got dissed don't pass your pathetic bitterness on to other people.In bad English, no less. (Yes, I know mine isn't perfect either, but still). Also, social deviation such as "a single teenage mother" is NO element of "culture". USA or otherwise.


As for the original post...

My answer to you won't consider biology but, rather, appeal to your obvious dissappointment at the world... I think a very opportune view is to accept that life's dangerous. Nobody EVER got out of it alive. That's what makes it so sweet: the adrenaline, the drive... you get my point. If there was no tears, laughter wouldn't count. Personally, if I lived in Garden of Eden, I'd die of boredom...

I understand your dissappointment at the world in general, but you are young (I know you tire of hearing this), and you will have to learn that Nature was not built to be fair, or just, or perfect, or even friendly... just to BE. And we have to survive in it the best we can, and, ultimately, have as much fun as we can while doing it (and possibly help others have a bit more fun as well). So if we die at the age of 10 from a Tsunami wave, well, best if we made those 10 years count... I know this sounds cruel, but believe me, I knew many very old people who died of old age and they were no happier to go than children who die. Death is an ineviteable part of life, just like poverty, misfortune and such are, and this you simpy must accept.

In addition, I suggest you make use of your current emotions and, instead of lamenting through forums, make yourself useful in some association such as UNICEF or something, and aid these people you've mentioned! Trust me, every little counts! I was 12 when there was a war in my country and I know how it feels when you get aid from people in other countries in such a situation...

[Miranda]

Originally Posted by Radok

If more people followed that religious crap, there would be alot less problems in the world. Of coarse, there would also be alot less problems without people like you.

tsk tsk tsk a good christian with charming, loving, christian attitudes?