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For the Metal Fans
Here's something I came across on another forum. Don't know if it's been posted here before. I just thought it was pretty funny:
"This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a
castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with
different kind of metalheads as knights.
* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted
forest.
* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and
f*cks her.
* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and f*cks the princess.
FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions,
violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls
asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave... without
the princess.
* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty
axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death,
steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f*cks the princess and
kills her, then leaves.
* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales
it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks
her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the
princess next to the dragon.
* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in
front of the castle, f*cks the princess and kills her. Then he
f*cks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts.
Then he f*cks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and
f*cks it for the last time.
* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he
could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide.
The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the
end of the sad story.
* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes.
The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to
the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and
tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess
escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance
and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to
paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to
fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy
clothes catch fire."
__________________
WORDS OF WISDOM:
"Our bodies are our gardens;
to which our wills are gardeners"
~ William Shakespeare
"Mens sana in corpore sano"
~ Juvenal
"I discovered a meal between
breakfast and brunch!"
~ Homer J. Simpson
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