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03-12-2005, 09:35 PM
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#1
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 134
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101 Sure Fire Ways to Piss Off Your Wife/Girlfriend During Sex
101 Sure Fire Ways to Piss Off Your Wife/Girlfriend During Sex
1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (in a janitor's closet) And they say romance is dead...
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time..right?
Person 2: Yeah.. today
12. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
17. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
21. (holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
22. Do you get any premium movie channels?
23. Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
25. Got any penicillin?
26. But I just brushed my teeth...
27. Smile, you're on Candid Camera!
28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
29. I want a baby!
30. So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
31. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
32. Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
33. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
34. I think you have it on backwards.
35. When is this supposed to feel good?
36. Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
37. You're good enough to do this for a living!
38. Is that blood on the headboard?
39. Did I remember to take my pill?
40. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
42. That leak better be from the waterbed!
43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
44. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..
45. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
46. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..
47. No, really... I do this part better myself!
48. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
49. This would be more fun with a few more people..
50. You're almost as good as my ex!
51. Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
52. Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
53. You look younger than you feel.
54. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
55. You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
56. They're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
57. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
58. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
59. You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated.
60. What tampon?
61. Have you ever considered liposuction?
62. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
63. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
64. I have a confession...
65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
66. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
67. Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
68. Is that a hanging sculpture?
69. You'll still vote for me, won't you?
70. Did I mention my transsexual operation?
71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
72. Did you come yet, dear?
73. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who you're fantasizing about...
74. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
75. Does this count as a date?
76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
79. Q: You can cook, too right?
A: (Whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
80. When would you like to meet my parents?
81. Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...
Woman: Yourself?
82. Have you seen "Fatal Attraction"?
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
84. Don't mind me.. I always file my nails in bed.
85. (in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
87. Don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
88. Sorry but I don't do toes!
89. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
90. Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
91. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for "The Enquirer".
93. So that's why they call you MR. Flash!
94. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
95. Is this a sin too?
96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
97. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
98. Long kisses clog my sinuses...
99. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
100. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?
101. You mean you're NOT my blind date?
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03-12-2005, 11:43 PM
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#2
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registered user
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Maricopa, AZ
Age: 22
Posts: 3,382
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some are pretty good and some of them are lame...worth the read though just for the good ones. did you think of them all yourslef or what?
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03-12-2005, 11:47 PM
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Age: 22
Posts: 1,188
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2. You woke me up for that?
 : REPS
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03-12-2005, 11:53 PM
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#4
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Board Member
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Southern Cali
Age: 26
Posts: 1,468
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 986
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Quote:
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71. I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
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Why would this piss anyone off???
__________________
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..H-C-C-OH + sluts = Fornication..
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[QUOTE=Atheotony]OH and yes I AM a mesomorph, I took the test on Bodybuilding.com...[/QUOTE]
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4499562022478442170&q=global+warming+swindle&hl=en
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03-13-2005, 01:58 AM
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#5
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 9,464
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lol
83. Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.
__________________
Vote the b**** out
"Banning guns addresses a fundamental right of all Americans to feel safe."
11/18/93
"If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an out right ban,
picking up every one of them... "Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in,
"I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren't here."
--U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), CBS-TV's "60 Minutes," 2/5/95
FYI she had a Concealed Carry Permit because she fears being attacked.
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03-13-2005, 02:08 AM
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#6
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I do wallflips.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: California
Age: 30
Posts: 510
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I've done 26, 28 and 3. Anyone else?
Some other good ones are:
"I think these walls would look better in pale blue."
"That marking on your ceiling looks like Charlie Brown."
or
"Did you use Snuggles on these sheets? They're snuggly soft."
__________________
Weight = 220
Height = 5'9"
Bodyfat = 7-10%
Waist = 33 in.
Chest = 49 in.
Upper Arms = 18.5 in.
Quads = 29 in.
Calves = 19 in.
Flexibility = Awesomeness
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03-13-2005, 07:11 AM
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#7
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 134
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by TripleH
did you think of them all yourslef or what?
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Nah, I got them off of another website
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03-13-2005, 08:05 AM
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#8
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Vojnik Srece
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Brooklyn, New York, United States
Stats: 5'8", 183 lbs
Posts: 5,228
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 7650
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some are funny but alot of them are lame.
i plan on using some of those
__________________
★cVc★
Combat Tested, Combat Proven, Combat Infantryman.
---
Xbox 360 game tag: DEMENT3D 1
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03-13-2005, 08:15 AM
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 134
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by TuZaN c0vJeK
some are funny but alot of them are lame.
i plan on using some of those
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That seems to be the general consensus on a lot of lists such as this one. Theres a few good ones trapped within a hoard of lame, terrible ones. But I'm glad to know you're going to use the select few good ones.
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03-13-2005, 08:19 AM
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#10
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UWO Mustang
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Chatham , Ont , Canada
Posts: 2,435
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 987
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Did you notice the ceiling needs painting ..
hahahaha
__________________
Happiness depends upon ourselves - Aristotle
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03-13-2005, 09:02 AM
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 71
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my favourite
my favourite:
16. On second thought, let's turn off the lights.
__________________
The Relationship Expert.
Get Paid To Auto-Surf The Net! Get $4 FREE to Join & Payout is Only $8: [url]http://4daily.com/?ref=36961[/url]
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03-13-2005, 09:11 AM
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 403
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half of em are what the girl would say to the guy :P
The, I want to have a baby, and the...dont smear my make-up dont sound like something the guy typically says lol
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03-13-2005, 10:16 AM
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#13
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Beastly Girl
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,675
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Way_2_Skinny!
Did you notice the ceiling needs painting ..
hahahaha
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I've done that....
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03-13-2005, 01:25 PM
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: So Cal
Posts: 744
Rep Power: 8 
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hahahaha
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03-13-2005, 02:50 PM
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4
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ok. look this stuff and answer ===> www._mpml.deal_ws.com
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03-13-2005, 05:43 PM
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 94
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Forget all that stuff, theres a simple way to piss off your girl, fart in her face.
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03-13-2005, 05:44 PM
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#17
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Bulking
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: If the green light's on, I'm eating a meal.
Posts: 809
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by FireBeatz
Forget all that stuff, theres a simple way to piss off your girl, fart in her face.
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lol
do u know that by experience 
__________________
"Whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger."
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