Crazy Newspaper Article (mentions bbing.com)

[The_Pain_Train]

So I was reading the newspaper and I saw this crazy article that mentioned bodybuilding.com; I tried scanning it to my computer, but only a small section came out legibly:


The full article is printed below:

-------------------------------------------------------------


Late last night, a Starbucks located in Orange County, California, acted as the backdrop for a massive gang battle. Situated in an upper-class suburban town, violence is a rarity, but as several witnesses can attest to, the quiet coffee-house quickly morphed into a hardcore battle-ground, straight out of movies like Scarface, Training Day, and most appropriately, Malibu?s Most Wanted.

Around 1:30 am, a slender white male, known around the ?hood? as smackmymiscup entered the Starbucks. Witnesses say he wore a wife beater, baggy jeans pulled down abnormally low, complete with exposed skid-mark-stained tighty-wighty?s, a doo-rag, and what appeared to be a super-soaker water gun tucked into his back pocket.

Just minutes later, a large, muscled man, appearing to be under the influence of ultra-powerful, highligly illegal anabolic steroids, known to the fitness community as DAT DERE CELL TECH entered the establishment, and he and the wigger-***got began to exchange words. Witnesses claim that the confrontation centered around a mutual female friend of the two men. Apparently, the Vanilla Ice wannabe, still known to us only as smackmymiscup, had posted pictures, including (fake) nudes, as well as made slanderous claims about the girl on the most important and powerful message board on the internet, known only as THE MISC. The large man allegedly threatened the Eminem-nut-hugger, and according to witnesses the wigger?s exposed briefs began to show signs of nerve-induced **** stains.

Then, in an instant, the situation exponentially intensified. Smackmymiscup let out a cry of "E-Thugs, UNITE!!!" and just seconds later several other, similarly homosexual men appeared. They surrounded the large man, and identified themselves one-by-one. One eye-witness was fortunate enough to record the sequence on her cell-phone; the following is an exact transcript of the proceedings:

Male #1 - "Look son, you know who you?re messing with. My name?s mr_angry, you?ve probably heard of me on the streets. Check out these 17 inch diamond-cut guns I?m sporting, you don?t want to **** me and my crew. My jacked fibras will put you in a world of hurt."

Male #2 - (appearing to be reading the following from a lap-top he had with him, as if he had taken the time to write it all out ahead of time.) (in a queer, monotone voice, with occasional 12-year-old-girl-like contrived laughs spliced in) ?Do you see these abs? They don?t call me Mr_Three_Percent for nothing. Do you want me to unleash all 147 pounds of my ripped body on you? Don?t let the receding hairline and high, squeaky voice fool you, I?m more lethal then 10 Marines, I can do 26 semi-chin-ups."

Male #3 - "Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someone?s face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know."

Male #4 - I"'m sure you recognize me, my name?s Brad Pitt. Did you see how out-of-my-mind jacked I was in Fight Club and Troy? You know how many cycles I took to prepare for those roles? Do you really want to **** with me? Don?t make me call Shia Lebeouf down here, aren?t you aware he gained 30 lbs. of pure jacked muscle fibras for Transformers?"


Just as it seemed the large male was going to be jumped, another group of people entered. Consisting of a silverback gorilla, King Leonidas, Badboy2, and a group of pissed off mods; they surrounded the wigger and his crew, and preceded to neg the **** out of them.

THE END

[The_Pain_Train]

come on guys...

[OTG]

"Harcore" eh...? All that effort for nothing... teh fail... jk

[The_Pain_Train]

Originally Posted by Teen_BB

"Harcore" eh...? All that effort for nothing... teh fail... jk

****, I just caught that...whatever one typo won't ruin it. And yes, it seems like this is gonna be teh fail

[Freeze2000]

Originally Posted by The_Pain_Train

So I was reading the newspaper and I saw this crazy article that mentioned bodybuilding.com; I tried scanning it to my computer, but only a small section came out legibly:


The full article is printed below:

-------------------------------------------------------------


Late last night, a Starbucks located in Orange County, California, acted as the backdrop for a massive gang battle. Situated in an upper-class suburban town, violence is a rarity, but as several witnesses can attest to, the quiet coffee-house quickly morphed into a hardcore battle-ground, straight out of movies like Scarface, Training Day, and most appropriately, Malibu?s Most Wanted.

Around 1:30 am, a slender white male, known around the ?hood? as smackmymiscup entered the Starbucks. Witnesses say he wore a wife beater, baggy jeans pulled down abnormally low, complete with exposed skid-mark-stained tighty-wighty?s, a doo-rag, and what appeared to be a super-soaker water gun tucked into his back pocket.

Just minutes later, a large, muscled man, appearing to be under the influence of ultra-powerful, highligly illegal anabolic steroids, known to the fitness community as DAT DERE CELL TECH entered the establishment, and he and the wigger-***got began to exchange words. Witnesses claim that the confrontation centered around a mutual female friend of the two men. Apparently, the Vanilla Ice wannabe, still known to us only as smackmymiscup, had posted pictures, including (fake) nudes, as well as made slanderous claims about the girl on the most important and powerful message board on the internet, known only as THE MISC. The large man allegedly threatened the Eminem-nut-hugger, and according to witnesses the wigger?s exposed briefs began to show signs of nerve-induced **** stains.

Then, in an instant, the situation exponentially intensified. Smackmymiscup let out a cry of "E-Thugs, UNITE!!!" and just seconds later several other, similarly homosexual men appeared. They surrounded the large man, and identified themselves one-by-one. One eye-witness was fortunate enough to record the sequence on her cell-phone; the following is an exact transcript of the proceedings:

Male #1 - "Look son, you know who you?re messing with. My name?s mr_angry, you?ve probably heard of me on the streets. Check out these 17 inch diamond-cut guns I?m sporting, you don?t want to **** me and my crew. My jacked fibras will put you in a world of hurt."

Male #2 - (appearing to be reading the following from a lap-top he had with him, as if he had taken the time to write it all out ahead of time.) (in a queer, monotone voice, with occasional 12-year-old-girl-like contrived laughs spliced in) ?Do you see these abs? They don?t call me Mr_Three_Percent for nothing. Do you want me to unleash all 147 pounds of my ripped body on you? Don?t let the receding hairline and high, squeaky voice fool you, I?m more lethal then 10 Marines, I can do 26 semi-chin-ups."

Male #3 - "Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someone?s face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know."

Male #4 - I"'m sure you recognize me, my name?s Brad Pitt. Did you see how out-of-my-mind jacked I was in Fight Club and Troy? You know how many cycles I took to prepare for those roles? Do you really want to **** with me? Don?t make me call Shia Lebeouf down here, aren?t you aware he gained 30 lbs. of pure jacked muscle fibras for Transformers?"


Just as it seemed the large male was going to be jumped, another group of people entered. Consisting of a silverback gorilla, King Leonidas, Badboy2, and a group of pissed off mods; they surrounded the wigger and his crew, and preceded to neg the **** out of them.

THE END

Are you aware
Late last night, a Starbucks located in Orange County, California, acted as the backdrop for a massive gang battle. Situated in an upper-class suburban town, violence is a rarity, but as several witnesses can attest to, the quiet coffee-house quickly morphed into a hardcore battle-ground, straight out of movies like Scarface, Training Day, and most appropriately, Malibu?s Most Wanted.

Around 1:30 am, a slender white male, known around the ?hood? as smackmymiscup entered the Starbucks. Witnesses say he wore a wife beater, baggy jeans pulled down abnormally low, complete with exposed skid-mark-stained tighty-wighty?s, a doo-rag, and what appeared to be a super-soaker water gun tucked into his back pocket.

Just minutes later, a large, muscled man, appearing to be under the influence of ultra-powerful, highligly illegal anabolic steroids, known to the fitness community as DAT DERE CELL TECH entered the establishment, and he and the wigger-***got began to exchange words. Witnesses claim that the confrontation centered around a mutual female friend of the two men. Apparently, the Vanilla Ice wannabe, still known to us only as smackmymiscup, had posted pictures, including (fake) nudes, as well as made slanderous claims about the girl on the most important and powerful message board on the internet, known only as THE MISC. The large man allegedly threatened the Eminem-nut-hugger, and according to witnesses the wigger?s exposed briefs began to show signs of nerve-induced **** stains.

Then, in an instant, the situation exponentially intensified. Smackmymiscup let out a cry of "E-Thugs, UNITE!!!" and just seconds later several other, similarly homosexual men appeared. They surrounded the large man, and identified themselves one-by-one. One eye-witness was fortunate enough to record the sequence on her cell-phone; the following is an exact transcript of the proceedings:

Male #1 - "Look son, you know who you?re messing with. My name?s mr_angry, you?ve probably heard of me on the streets. Check out these 17 inch diamond-cut guns I?m sporting, you don?t want to **** me and my crew. My jacked fibras will put you in a world of hurt."

Male #2 - (appearing to be reading the following from a lap-top he had with him, as if he had taken the time to write it all out ahead of time.) (in a queer, monotone voice, with occasional 12-year-old-girl-like contrived laughs spliced in) ?Do you see these abs? They don?t call me Mr_Three_Percent for nothing. Do you want me to unleash all 147 pounds of my ripped body on you? Don?t let the receding hairline and high, squeaky voice fool you, I?m more lethal then 10 Marines, I can do 26 semi-chin-ups."

Male #3 - "Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someone?s face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know."

Male #4 - I"'m sure you recognize me, my name?s Brad Pitt. Did you see how out-of-my-mind jacked I was in Fight Club and Troy? You know how many cycles I took to prepare for those roles? Do you really want to **** with me? Don?t make me call Shia Lebeouf down here, aren?t you aware he gained 30 lbs. of pure jacked muscle fibras for Transformers?"


Just as it seemed the large male was going to be jumped, another group of people entered. Consisting of a silverback gorilla, King Leonidas, Badboy2, and a group of pissed off mods; they surrounded the wigger and his crew, and preceded to neg the **** out of them.

[The_Pain_Train]

bumping this to save it from teh fail

[IntensityX]

This space for rent call 1-800-555-2144 for low fixed APR financing.

[The_Pain_Train]

. .

[IntensityX]

(insert post here)

[The_Pain_Train]

come on guys...

[mmmmmyst]

neat

[VariantInterval]

There are too many words in the OP's post.

[The_Pain_Train]

I'll tell you guys what, I'll rep anyone who actually reads it and tells me what they think (and can prove to me that they read it)

[SecondsOut]

Originally Posted by VariantInterval

There are too many words in the OP's post.

[OTG]

You know what man, I'll rate it 5 stars, you do the same you'll have a 5 star thread, maybe you'll get more people to read, also bump in the morning, misc. is slow now...

[The_Pain_Train]

Originally Posted by Teen_BB

You know what man, I'll rate it 5 stars, you do the same you'll have a 5 star thread, maybe you'll get more people to read, also bump in the morning, misc. is slow now...

Well you and me both rated it 5, and some n00b must have rated it 1...

[The_Pain_Train]

bwnp

(upside down)

[CountryPunk]

Originally Posted by The_Pain_Train

bwnp

(upside down)

wow strong upside down

[vlad878]

strong fail

[Sammy_Koelle]

Originally Posted by vlad878

strong fail

^.

[captain_marvel]

Honestly, who the hell do you think would take the time to read an entire ****ing essay of a BS story that is a lame attempt at being funny. You have to think this **** through first.

FAIL.

[The_Pain_Train]

Originally Posted by captain_marvel

Honestly, who the hell do you think would take the time to read an entire ****ing essay of a BS story that is a lame attempt at being funny. You have to think this **** through first.

FAIL.

Wow, strong front-runner with your sports teams

[superduck]

Originally Posted by captain_marvel

Honestly, who the hell do you think would take the time to read an entire ****ing essay of a BS story that is a lame attempt at being funny. You have to think this **** through first.

FAIL.

wow strong been here for a month thinkin' he can throw his weight around

[captain_marvel]

Originally Posted by The_Pain_Train

Wow, strong front-runner with your sports teams

Dont think so buddy. The Spurs and the mountaineers are the only teams that have won **** in the last couple of years. I grew up on these teams. Sorry they've been good over the last decade.

Originally Posted by superduck

wow strong been here for a month thinkin' he can throw his weight around

Wow strong thats right.

[The_Pain_Train]

Originally Posted by captain_marvel

Dont think so buddy. The Spurs and the mountaineers are the only teams that have won **** in the last couple of years. I grew up on these teams. Sorry they've been good over the last decade.

Let's see...first of all, you're obviously not picking these based on where you live 'cause they're all in different parts of the country. (I'm not bashing you on this, just pointing it out.)

So you have the Spurs, they've been good basically since the mid-90's (sans one year)...won two out of the last three titles...ok, I'm sure that's all a coincidence

WVU football is probably a top 10 if not better team this year. Coincidence that their completely average basketball program is not represented on you profile? I'll cut you some slack here and assume you go to WVU (even though I'm guessing you probably don't)

Patriots? Well they haven't been too good over the past 3/4 decade. And they probably won't be any good this year either, it's not like they're looking like the most loaded team we've seen in a while or anything...

Packers I'll give you a pass on 1) because they're not good and 2) b/c I myself am a Packers fan

Please though, I'd love for you to clear things up here, please explain how exactly you became a fan of each of these teams. Also, care to explain how you root for two NFL teams? Who did you root for in the '97 Superbowl? Or let me guess, you were still a Cowboys fan at that point?

[captain_marvel]

Originally Posted by The_Pain_Train

Let's see...first of all, you're obviously not picking these based on where you live 'cause they're all in different parts of the country. (I'm not bashing you on this, just pointing it out.

Thanks, that was completely not obvious.

So you have the Spurs, they've been good basically since the mid-90's (sans one year)...won two out of the last three titles...ok, I'm sure that's all a coincidence

My mother grew up in SA watching the iceman George Gervin play. She started me to rooting for the Spurs when I was little. I rooted for the Spurs when they were gettng there asses kicked by the Lakers in the early 2000's and I still rooted for them when they kicked ass in there 4 ships.

WVU football is probably a top 10 if not better team this year. Coincidence that their completely average basketball program is not represented on you profile? I'll cut you some slack here and assume you go to WVU (even though I'm guessing you probably don't)

I am from and live in WV. The reason I only have football up is because its football season idiot. WVU basketball program is also top 25 usually. I still have the Spurs up for basketball because they just won the ship 7 weeks ago.

Patriots? Well they haven't been too good over the 3/4 decade. And they probably won't be any good this year either, it's not like they're looking like the most loaded team we've seen in a while or anything...

I started liking the Patriots since I was 4 years old and I would watch football with my uncle. I liked the fact that they had (what I thought was George Washington) hiking a football as there logo. Ive loved Brett Favre since I played football in elemtary school because I admired his heart.

Packers I'll give you a pass on 1) because they're not good and 2) b/c I myself am a Packers fan myself

Lmao, like this means **** to me.

Please though, I'd love for you to clear things up here, please explain how exactly you became a fan of each of these teams. Also, care to explain how you root for two NFL teams? Who did you root for in the '97 Superbowl? Or let me guess, you were still a Cowboys fan at that point?

Dont think so buddy. I rooted for the Patriots and that was the 96 superbowl GB vs NE buddy. Not 97. Ding Ding we have a winner

Nice try. and your thread still horribly sucks.

[superduck]

Originally Posted by captain_marvel

Thanks, that was completely not obvious.

My mother grew up in SA watching the iceman George Gervin play. She started me to rooting for the Spurs when I was little. I rooted for the Spurs when they were gettng there asses kicked by the Lakers in the early 2000's and I still rooted for them when they kicked ass in there 4 ships.

I am from and live in WV. The reason I only have football up is because its football season idiot. WVU basketball program is also top 25 usually. I still have the Spurs up for basketball because they just won the ship 7 weeks ago.

I started liking the Patriots since I was 4 years old and I would watch football with my uncle. I liked the fact that they had (what I thought was George Washington) hiking a football as there logo. Ive loved Brett Favre since I played football in elemtary school because I admired his heart.

Lmao, like this means **** to me.

Dont think so buddy. I rooted for the Patriots and that was the 96 superbowl GB vs NE buddy. Not 97. Ding Ding we have a winner

Nice try. and your thread still horribly sucks.

[captain_marvel]

Originally Posted by superduck

/thread

[The_Pain_Train]

Originally Posted by captain_marvel

1. My mother grew up in SA watching the iceman George Gervin play. She started me to rooting for the Spurs when I was little. I rooted for the Spurs when they were gettng there asses kicked by the Lakers in the early 2000's and I still rooted for them when they kicked ass in there 4 ships.

2. I am from and live in WV. The reason I only have football up is because its football season idiot. WVU basketball program is also top 25 usually. I still have the Spurs up for basketball because they just won the ship 7 weeks ago.

3. I started liking the Patriots since I was 4 years old and I would watch football with my uncle. I liked the fact that they had (what I thought was George Washington) hiking a football as there logo. Ive loved Brett Favre since I played football in elemtary school because I admired his heart.



4. Dont think so buddy. I rooted for the Patriots and that was the 96 superbowl GB vs NE buddy. Not 97. Ding Ding we have a winner

Nice try. and your thread still horribly sucks.

1. OK, first of all, The Spurs won the championship in '99, and they were a very good team from then on, even when the Lakers were winning everything, so the fact that you "stayed with them" during that stretch doesn't exactly say too much about your loyalty.

2. Convenient...wouldn't maybe think of mentioning their NIT championship?

3. So your family sat down one day, and it was decided your mom would get you into bball, and your uncle would get you into football? It's convenient that your mom's basketball team happens to be a modern day dynasty, and you uncle's football team happens to be...a modern day dynasty. Did you grandpa the Yankees fan get you into baseball?

4. OK, you rooted for the Patriots, that would make you a Patriots fan, in my book you can't be a fan of two teams. And I always refer to Superbowls by the date they're played (this was played in 1997)...

Honestly, it's hard to respond to your points b/c frankly, anyone can make up bs reasons about why they like certain teams, there's not much I can say to refute them...

[captain_marvel]

Originally Posted by The_Pain_Train

1. OK, first of all, The Spurs won the championship in '99, and they were a very good team from then on, even when the Lakers were winning everything, so the fact that you "stayed with them" during that stretch doesn't exactly say too much about your loyalty.

2. Convenient...wouldn't maybe think of mentioning their NIT championship?

3. So your family sat down one day, and it was decided your mom would get you into bball, and your uncle would get you into football? It's convenient that your mom's basketball team happens to be a modern day dynasty, and you uncle's football team happens to be...a modern day dynasty. Did you grandpa the Yankees fan get you into baseball?

4. OK, you rooted for the Patriots, that would make you a Patriots fan, in my book you can't be a fan of two teams. And I always refer to Superbowls by the date they're played (this was played in 1997)...

Honestly, it's hard to respond to your points b/c frankly, anyone can make up bs reasons about why they like certain teams, there's not much I can say to refute them...

Exactly. Since your only argument is "wow its convenient" and recycling facts im already aware of. Your attempt at humor with this thread failed and your attempt to argue my sports teams failed too. Good job.