So now im here *cliffnote* *pretty long story*

[Giveitall]

It's 2 am and i have nothing do to but to talk about my summer love or should i call it summer confusion/corruption/pain..

It all started in mid March where i re-meet this young and lovely girl which a smokin body at the club and danced the night away with her. The previous time was around November. Well during that early Spring, i was kind of seeing this other girl but the reason why it didn't work out was because she wasnt advanturious enough and was too young for me ( difference of 4 years, my standards doesnt exceed 3 years). Anyways, the day after the club, the new girl added me on msn, she was really entertaining and likable. Things started to heat up when we started flirting on msn and on the phone. She would always insist on going out to chill and such. At first I kind of hesitated because of the pain i cause the other girl by leaving her. But then she got a new bf so it didn't bother me as much.

At my bday which was on early april, the girl i danced all night invited me for breakfast as a gift for my 20th bday. I finally let in and offered her to invite me. That day, after breakfast, i brought her home and she decided i should chill abit at her house. After an hour there, i was suppose to leave to go see my brothas, but she kept on insisting i should stay more, she wouldnt let me go, she would hug me and wouldnt let go. Basicly she was teasing with her body lauguage and it worked. I then threw her on her bed, but she was still holding on to me, and then after you know it, i was on top of her face to face. Looking at her eyes for a few secondes of hesitation, i layed my lips on hers and started making out passionatly. after a 5mins of make out session, she said " Happy bday giveitall". I was stund, i was confuse, and i was ****ed. All that because i didn't want to be commited to her and i wanted her as well.

The reason why i didnt want to be in a relationship with her was because she has a bad reputation amouth our peers. People call her an attention whore, and manipulator and a liar. My friends told me to be careful, just dont get to cary away. Other would say if i did actually go out with her, im the biggest idiot becuz all the guys shes been with regreted going out with her. The reason why i wanted her was because she showd sign of careness and love, and a big bonus was that she was really attractive.

Couple of days later i told her i wasnt ready for a commitment, because of bad past relationship ( long story short, i got played and used 3 times). and i pretty much didnt trust women. She asked if we could still be friends at least, i said sure...
and thats when things started to get complicated because everytime we would be alone in her house, we would still make out and touching each other. we would have dry sex and a lot of kisses.

I was in fact fallin for her, and i could see she was too. but i told her already i will not be in a relationship with her..not until i can trust her 110%. i got her confuse and sad, and i was also in pain. Then i decided i would try to avoid her, but she kept on fightin for me, and she would never be like what other people think of her to me. she would always still call me and msn me and insist we should chill. then i thought to myself, this could be the girl i was searching for ; caring, fun, loyal, and sexy, basicly a girl that i can trust and that will love me for a long time. i would say no until one friday night when we decided to watch Pirates of the carabbean. Again, we made out during the movie. After the movie i brought her home, while walking alone with her on a full moon, she said : "giveitall, where are we in the relation, i mean, we like each other, why cant we be together, u are makin this so hard but in fact it is so simple", i reply "im scare, im scare that if you got me, u wont care and that ull drift away, just give me more time"..

At the door of her house she invited me inside and ( her parents werent home), again, we started making out again..then she asked if i could be hers, i said no, not yet..then pause and she stopped kissing and said its better if i leave. and so i did, but while walkin to my bus stop, i felt this pain, a pain i never felt before and i just had to see her again, i felt like i lost something precious in my life...

I called her back and said i needed to see her and so she invited me back. at one point, we were both on her bed, and i tried to kiss her, she got upset and asked why am i doing this if i dont want to be with her, i said sorry and stoped...she got up and layed her body on mine and again the makeout scene...i guess she couldnt resist either, she was wet, i could felt it..she wanted to feel love, she wanted someone to take her breath away and i was right in front of her..

then she pulled out a condom that the school gave ( i was still a virgin and (she was a virgin too, or so i thought she was), i could still remember the scene.. she said with a lifestyle condom on her hand " giveitall, do u want to". i replied "i will only have sex when i am with the girl i love". she was happy i said that and continued the kissing...i thought this was a test or something and that she was just teasin me. again she pulls it out and ask the same question...i hesitated for a long 5 secondes..i knew if we did have sex, i would be hers and she would be mine and that i will have to commit myself to her. My emotions got in the way and i wasnt thinkin with my head and so we did it..

[riddlingminion]

So the cliffs are where?

[neilc777]

I didnt read it. But judging by the amount of writing, this guy has da one-itus.

[DavidL913]

Originally Posted by neilc777

I didnt read it. But judging by the amount of writing, this guy has da one-itus.

you hit the nail.

one-itis.

[Giveitall]

..i was nervous, my hands were shaking, but she was there to calm me down..she said "dont be nervous". i pull the condom out of its thin package and placed it on my dick. I couldnt find the hole..it was pretty embarassin but after 15mins i finally did it with a little help from her...it felt great, 20 years and i finally did it, i was the man of the night. i slept next to her till the next mornin. it was official, i am her boyfriend and she was my girlfriend.

things went well for the first month, we were both passionatly in love or so we thought we were, i would see her everyday and enjoy every last bit of it. but then i found out i had summer school, and i wont be able to spend much time with her, she said its ok, as long as we see each other once a week is good. but the thing is that i had to go to school and work fulltime..and i barely saw her last month and not even phone convos was included. I saw it in her face and hear it in her voice that she started to lose interest in me, the guy she said was her everything a month ago. maybe becuz it was me, maybe bcuz i didnt have time for her, maybe bcuz i was never there for her bcuz i was always at work. ( she works in the mornin and afternoon and i work during everynin). so we barely have time for each other...

and everytime we would see each other, it would always end in fight. for the past 3 weeks, i felt we werent even a couple anymore, i mean we talked and saw each other for a total of like 4 hours max during 3 weeks. it is difficult bcuz i want to spend time with her, i do my best, i text her once in a while at least, but she never replies..

and i stand here today, having the voice of my friends in my head sayind " dont go for her she is not for you, you are makin a mistake if u go out with her"...i am started to feel fed up with her too, other girls invite me to chill with them, i havent yet, but i think i will soon and i am sure to get "some" if i do...i dont know if i should abandon this current girlfriend bcuz it is clear she doesnt care of the relationship..

*Cliffnote*
-have a girlfriend for 2 months and a half
-peers warned me about her saying she aint for me
-didnt see each other much last month and a half and chemestry is fallin
-willin to give another chance bcuz she was my first, but it seems she doesnt care even tho she says she wants to fix it
-other girls are waitin for me
-going to college this fall and she is finishin her highschool
-use to adore her alot but pisses me off most of the time now a day
-none of my friends aprove of her, she has a bad rep amouth peers too

[Giveitall]

Originally Posted by neilc777

I didnt read it. But judging by the amount of writing, this guy has da one-itus.

nah i dont have one it-is...
its just i want to fix this bcuz she was my first but sometimes im ashamed of being with her

[Kanji4488]

I call b.s on this story. ( yes read it all)
buuuttt.....what the hell. if its real, it sounds like you all were really attached and i agree with you, hard to be withsomeone you dont have real feelings for if you never see them. sounds like it was a very physical relationship. are you going to plan on seeing her after the summer, or is someone leaving for school?

[Gr8Ape]

Originally Posted by riddlingminion

So the cliffs are where?

**** you the man posts his soul and you ask for a briefing

[Agent Lazy 78]

OK....so amazingly, I actually read that entire thing.

anyway.....you need to drop that chick, she's playing major games and there's no use wasting your youth on something like that. MOVE ON!

[Giveitall]

Originally Posted by Kanji4488

I call b.s on this story. ( yes read it all)
buuuttt.....what the hell. if its real, it sounds like you all were really attached and i agree with you, hard to be withsomeone you dont have real feelings for if you never see them. sounds like it was a very physical relationship. are you going to plan on seeing her after the summer, or is someone leaving for school?

none of this is bs, i didnt add anything to make it more interestin or anything..still remember the words that came out of her mouth..i dont know what the future holds, we both live in the same city for university and high school.

[Ellimist]

If you let other voices into your head, they eventually take place of the one that matters.

[Giveitall]

Originally Posted by Ellimist

If you let other voices into your head, they eventually take place of the one that matters.

its uncontrolable

[Ellimist]

Originally Posted by Giveitall

its uncontrolable

We all have control over what we choose to believe

[MonsterBakk55]

You're 20, don't worry about this ****. I've learned this the hard way as well.

I've got my whole life ahead of me to worry about one girl, blah blah blah. There's so many out there that if I have to stop talking to a girl I like, it's really not that hard.

Just cut off connections with her because you're only going to get yourself in trouble. Ask yourself this, do you really think there's more good than bad that can come out of this?

Go hookup with some other girls and you'll forget about her in no time.

[5x10]

dont take this the wrong way, but its good that you got burned

it will help you seperate love from lust
congrats on losing your cherry

[Giveitall]

Originally Posted by 5x10

dont take this the wrong way, but its good that you got burned

it will help you seperate love from lust
congrats on losing your cherry

i guess ur right..in a way