weirding people out

phateless · 08-05-2007, 03:24 PM

do you ever feel like you can pinpoint the exact moment at which you weirded someone out or alienated them? lately i feel like every time i meet new people i just weird them all out and none of them like me. what's that about??

i went through a phase at one point, a while after my breakup where i felt like i was able to charm everyone and everybody liked me, and now i feel like if i try to be nice to people they just think i'm weird or a tool and want to avoid me. don't really know what's going on...

even some of my friends, i can tell they think i'm weird sometimes. i mean, i've always known i'm weird but i'm not maladjusted or anything like that. don't really know what to make of this...

i'm not talking just girls here, i'm talking people in general, guys too.

anybody have any insight? maybe you have a friend like me?

discuss.

allLiving · 08-05-2007, 03:47 PM

Are you trying too hard? Just be natural.

phateless · 08-05-2007, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allLiving

Are you trying too hard? Just be natural.

i really don't know any more. i'm starting to feel like a loser

klax410 · 08-05-2007, 03:57 PM

Just don't try to be the center of attention, and lay low. Always works.

Hubbard · 08-05-2007, 03:57 PM

your just overanalyzing everything just have fun

jordaro2002 · 08-05-2007, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hubbard

your just overanalyzing everything just have fun

I agree. It's all in your head. You can't try to guess what other people are thinking. All you have to do is live by your rules and you'll be just fine.

Recognize that no matter what you're personality type is, there are going to be some people that won't want anything to do with you. Shocking huh? Now here's another truth that will make you feel much better. No matter what your personality type there will be people who want to have everything to do with you. Just be yourself and be unapologetic for enjoying life on your terms and you'll have plenty of people who enjoy your company.

Also, don't try to mind read what other people are thinking. Most of the time you're wrong. They probably aren't even thinking about you. They're probably too concerned with what you think about them.

phateless · 08-05-2007, 05:43 PM

true... still... i can't help feeling that i'm actively weirding people out... not sure how...

BenchnCurls · 08-05-2007, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klax410

Just don't try to be the center of attention, and lay low. Always works.

i disagree. being the center of attention is what you want, unless your unsocial.

Black17 · 08-05-2007, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

do you ever feel like you can pinpoint the exact moment at which you weirded someone out or alienated them? lately i feel like every time i meet new people i just weird them all out and none of them like me. what's that about??

i went through a phase at one point, a while after my breakup where i felt like i was able to charm everyone and everybody liked me, and now i feel like if i try to be nice to people they just think i'm weird or a tool and want to avoid me. don't really know what's going on...

even some of my friends, i can tell they think i'm weird sometimes. i mean, i've always known i'm weird but i'm not maladjusted or anything like that. don't really know what to make of this...

i'm not talking just girls here, i'm talking people in general, guys too.

anybody have any insight? maybe you have a friend like me?

discuss.

fix ur **** dude, its ur problem u should know whts needed more than any of us, just be real to urself

phateless · 08-05-2007, 10:37 PM

if it were that simple i wouldn't be posting on an internet forum asking for theories, smartass. i'm all f*cked up in the head right now. I'm looking for someone who's either been through or knows someone similar and has some perspective or something.

Prudens · 08-05-2007, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

if it were that simple i wouldn't be posting on an internet forum asking for theories, smartass. i'm all f*cked up in the head right now. I'm looking for someone who's either been through or knows someone similar and has some perspective or something.

May I suggest that you go enjoy a nice broadway show, a movie, an opera, or any other entertainment that fancies you.

And all that while, remember you are happy.

Regain your confidence and joy, and you'll be weirdo-no-more

phateless · 08-05-2007, 11:03 PM

i went to the gym tonight for the first time in two months. i think that seriously helped

amberlynn72 · 08-05-2007, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

do you ever feel like you can pinpoint the exact moment at which you weirded someone out or alienated them? lately i feel like every time i meet new people i just weird them all out and none of them like me. what's that about??

i went through a phase at one point, a while after my breakup where i felt like i was able to charm everyone and everybody liked me, and now i feel like if i try to be nice to people they just think i'm weird or a tool and want to avoid me. don't really know what's going on...

even some of my friends, i can tell they think i'm weird sometimes. i mean, i've always known i'm weird but i'm not maladjusted or anything like that. don't really know what to make of this...

i'm not talking just girls here, i'm talking people in general, guys too.

anybody have any insight? maybe you have a friend like me?

discuss.

Haha I feel like this sometimes also..I go through periods when I think no one likes me because i am so different...and then other times i feel people are very much drawn into my personality ...etc etc...

So I think its just a phase and you'll get over it...and move on to everyone liking you again. It's in the stars...hehe

phateless · 08-05-2007, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amberlynn72

Haha I feel like this sometimes also..I go through periods when I think no one likes me because i am so different...and then other times i feel people are very much drawn into my personality ...etc etc...

So I think its just a phase and you'll get over it...and move on to everyone liking you again. It's in the stars...hehe

thanks amber, i feel that way too

Kilburn · 08-05-2007, 11:46 PM

ya, ive been in your situation before, and still am, everyone is.

life is just a giant stupid game man, in every interaction you're either winning or your losing. sounds like you're doing more of the losing.

get yourself together man, whenever ur talking u should be out of your head, and just have a good flow. every time u say something stupid, every time u stutter, every time you hesitate, every time you say "i don't know" ur salting your game, just remember that. you are on camera at all times.

everyone is playing their game and u have to do the same. when your game is strong u will find people will break eye contact with you and look down, they will ask you questions. and then you can go ahead and look down upon them like they are some idiotic wierdo.

TheDiplomats · 08-05-2007, 11:48 PM

Do you say random **** sometimes? I have a few friends who weird me out all the ****ing time with some of the stuff they say. They think they are being funny, but in reality they are saying really over the top stuff that is almost too vulgar/strange to be funny.

phateless · 08-06-2007, 01:09 AM

i think i've been doing that lately

but not dirty nasty stuff... just stuff that either rings too true to be funny or comes out wrong and sounds like i'm pointing out something bad about someone else...

like i'm talking **** for fun but not pulling it off

Ace_2007 · 08-06-2007, 04:10 AM

If you think you are weird, then you will act weird and be seen as weird.

Its all in you're head.

amberlynn72 · 08-06-2007, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kilburn

ya, ive been in your situation before, and still am, everyone is.

life is just a giant stupid game man, in every interaction you're either winning or your losing. sounds like you're doing more of the losing.

get yourself together man, whenever ur talking u should be out of your head, and just have a good flow. every time u say something stupid, every time u stutter, every time you hesitate, every time you say "i don't know" ur salting your game, just remember that. you are on camera at all times.

everyone is playing their game and u have to do the same. when your game is strong u will find people will break eye contact with you and look down, they will ask you questions. and then you can go ahead and look down upon them like they are some idiotic wierdo.

You're absolutely right!

anb1683 · 08-06-2007, 11:10 AM

What do you say thats so weird, can you give an example? I'm weird, people tell me that all the time. I don't really care though...

Sach · 08-06-2007, 11:51 AM

dwelling on this is sending you further down the hole. I was the exact same way mabe 4 years ago. It would really frustrate me when someone didn't like me and I'd overcompensate to everyone to make up for it.

What you have to realize is not everyone is going to be your friend or like you. You just should stop caring if people are alienated. just be yourself. When people percieve your attitude and behavior as being something real instead of some fake coughed up beg for attention and affection, then you'll be suprised on how many people gravitate towards you.

Ace_2007 · 08-06-2007, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kilburn

ya, ive been in your situation before, and still am, everyone is.

life is just a giant stupid game man, in every interaction you're either winning or your losing. sounds like you're doing more of the losing.

get yourself together man, whenever ur talking u should be out of your head, and just have a good flow. every time u say something stupid, every time u stutter, every time you hesitate, every time you say "i don't know" ur salting your game, just remember that. you are on camera at all times.

everyone is playing their game and u have to do the same. when your game is strong u will find people will break eye contact with you and look down, they will ask you questions. and then you can go ahead and look down upon them like they are some idiotic wierdo.

How are you in the red?

kelso · 08-06-2007, 12:18 PM

I didnt think so many people were so insecure about themselves. I have no room to talk, but have gotten a bit better. I know the feeling though.. What I've learned is its mostly your head playing games with you. The mind can do wierd things to you..

Kanji4488 · 08-06-2007, 01:10 PM

yeeppp. you get that one silent moment then your like, oh **** guys. i wish i could take all of that back

phateless · 08-06-2007, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anb1683

What do you say thats so weird, can you give an example? I'm weird, people tell me that all the time. I don't really care though...

ok here's an example...

last night my roommates and i were watching dark side of the rainbow (yes we were smoking) and my one roommate says to his gf
"look, jen, flowers"
"i don't know what those look like you never give me any"
"i'm scared to, soon as i do you'll take off running"

she looks confused so my stupid ass says
"chad and i have both tried the nice guy thing, didn't pan out too well for either of us" cuz we had both been through bad breakups in the last year or two

make sense?

when my head is right, people like me and i know i can be charming and win over a crowd. but lately i'm all out of whack.

Kilburn · 08-06-2007, 03:04 PM

Quote:

How are you in the red?

cause i'm very opinionated and some people can't handle the truth that i speak.

and ya phatless, that's a moronic thing to say, there's no "trying out the nice guy thing" or atleast you shouldn't bring that up. you either are or you arnt. the game is to be sold, not told. when u start chopping up game people get creeped out.

phateless · 08-06-2007, 03:23 PM

yeah, i figured that part out. but that's what i mean... lately i've just been saying stupid things that make me sound like an a$$hole. it bums me out. i'm really afraid of what half of my friends think of me right now.

anb1683 · 08-06-2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

ok here's an example...

last night my roommates and i were watching dark side of the rainbow (yes we were smoking) and my one roommate says to his gf
"look, jen, flowers"
"i don't know what those look like you never give me any"
"i'm scared to, soon as i do you'll take off running"

she looks confused so my stupid ass says
"chad and i have both tried the nice guy thing, didn't pan out too well for either of us" cuz we had both been through bad breakups in the last year or two

make sense?

when my head is right, people like me and i know i can be charming and win over a crowd. but lately i'm all out of whack.

Thats not bad, I would've laughed and thought it was sarcasm...
I think you're over reacting, quit thinking and over analyzing ****.
I have really dry sarcastic humor and not everyone gets it...but I dont care, that's just who I am...

phateless · 08-06-2007, 03:41 PM

well if you get me, that makes me feel a little bit better. yeah i know i'm over-reacting and trying too hard, it just feels good to hear someone else empathize.

so how is it that you know where slo is?

anb1683 · 08-06-2007, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

well if you get me, that makes me feel a little bit better. yeah i know i'm over-reacting and trying too hard, it just feels good to hear someone else empathize.

so how is it that you know where slo is?

SLO? San Luis Obispo? I live in Southern California, San Luis is about 4 1/2 hours north of me.