Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands; they are now called The Islands

[zaeltart]

i just about fell out of the chair laughing when i saw this commercial about 10minutes ago






LOL at the youtube comments.
Comment: "i once shook chuck norris' hand. i'm not telling a joke. he had a girly handshake."
Reply: "Of course he had, if he used his real handshake your entire body would have been crushed under the pressure."

&

Comment: "I rated this video a Five star, or else Chuck is going to kill me with a roundhouse kick"

&

Comment: "Buahahah! -Laughts at those stupid people who actually though they could outrun the great Chuck Norris. What retards"








alright people lets try to get a good 2-3 pages of chuck jokes



Chuck Norris was once in a pissing contest... His opponent drowned.


Chuck Norris had a paper route when he was younger; there were no survivors

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, one of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection... There were no survivors

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did

in Italy, the leaning tower of Pisa leans AWAY from Chuck Norris

God said "Let there be light!". Chuck Norris said, "say please".

The estimated energy output of the sun durin its existance is estimated to equal between 4 through 5 CNRHK's (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicks)

Outer space exists because it doesn't want to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

[zaeltart]

Chuck Norris once got a woman pregnant by looking at her with his cockeye pre-battle stare.

[bigfor15]

Chuck Norris never reposts.

[Jim Jitsu]

Originally Posted by bigfor15

Chuck Norris never reposts.

X2

[HenryJDaniels]

The whole Chuck Norris thing is gay.
Everyone knows it's stolen from the Vin Diesel thing which was stolen from the skit on SNL about Bill Brasky.

Vin Diesel's MANY more awesome.

[Jim Jitsu]

Originally Posted by HenryJDaniels

The whole Chuck Norris thing is gay.
Everyone knows it's stolen from the Vin Diesel thing which was stolen from the skit on SNL about Bill Brasky.

Vin Diesel's MANY more awesome.

Now Bill Brasky, you know the fella, goes about 6'9" 358lbs.....

[Dnicholson]

Do you think chuck norris piitb christy brinkley after the total gym commercials?? just wonderin

[DangerDan]

Originally Posted by Jim Jitsu

Now Bill Brasky, you know the fella, goes about 6'9" 358lbs.....

"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky....... except for the part about planting apple trees......and not raping men."


lol

[tpt]

Originally Posted by bigfor15

Chuck Norris never reposts.

lmfao

[DangerDan]

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half — until sure enough, someone constructs a bar around us. Well, the day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found 'em!'"

lmao!


"goes about 7'8", 530!"

[solidus2k3]

Originally Posted by Jim Jitsu

X2

x3