Need some advice

[fontane]

I strongly feel my wife had an affair with a coworker about 3 years ago. We've been married 17 years and 3 years ago a rumor started at work about my wife sleeping with a coworker. We both work for the same employer, but different shifts. I have always been level headed and usually think before I react. I am 38, she is 44 and she is very attractive and likes hearing it from others. I asked my wife point blank and she denies having one, but my gut feeling keeps saying, LOUDLY, something isn?t right and she?s holding back information. The following are my reasons my gut feeling won?t go away.
1)Rumored affair happened during a low point of our marriage, a point she admitted she almost left.2)She's over 40 (I don't mean to stereotype) and always complains about her looks and getting older 3) She has changed or been totally inconsistent about the events surrounding the rumors or she gets very mad and doesn't answer when I ask her specifics of the "rumored" affair 4) during the time of the rumors, she was seen many times with the coworker at breaks, lunches, out on the workroom floor, but never outside of work. 5) When I asked her point blank if she did, she got very angry and defensive, then only after did she unconvincingly say "NO" 6) She loves the attention of other men. 7) When I ponder on how we acted towards each other 3 years ago, she wasn't nice to me, often critical of me, belittling me, putting me down (granted, I was an a**hole too) 8) Nearly 20 years ago, when we met at work(same employer), she was living with a boyfriend of 6 years and slept with me before telling or leaving her boyfriend. 9) I asked her if she spent time with him at work, she said ?no?. Then after I discovered she was often seen with him on the work floor, break and lunches, then when I asked her again, bringing to her attention what I was informed, she admitted to spending more time that usual with him, but only at work she stated. 10) When asked specific questions, she knowingly or purposely withholds information, then when I bring it to her attention, she get mad and says she doesn?t remember. There are many other red flags. But she has consistently ?denied? an affair ever occurred.
Would it be possible to find out if she did have an affair 3 years ago? If so, how would I go about it?
I have no absolute proof, and she will not "confess", but I know in my heart she did stray and it's difficult to rid this feeling.

[FlexinMike]

Can you summarize please?I do not have time to read this due to all of the other quality threads being posted.

[fontane]

Originally Posted by TNbuffstuff

Can you summarize please?I do not have time to read this due to all of the other quality threads being posted.

I heard a rumor my wife of 17 yrs had an afair with her co-worker 3 years ago, she denies it but details of her story change. What should I do? I dont know what to do

[dcarrera]

Go to joey delgreco and cheaters? (serious) Talk to her man, face to face. If possible, do it at her parents house so she'll feel more guilty if she's telling you lies.

[kombatnt]

This is going to sound harsh, but it sounds like your marriage is over.

You asked her point blank and she said "no," and you don't believe her. So, no matter what she says, you're not going to believe her. From now on, you'll always have that nagging suspicion in the back of your mind. Do you really think you can go back to a happy marriage with that little bit of doubt in there, for the rest of your life?

Start a big fight with her. Get her p***ed off. If she really did have an affair, that'll bring it out. She'll throw it in your face to make you mad (probably with details you really don't want to hear). But that'll definitely be the end of your marriage.

There's no answer she can give you that can save this marriage. If she says "yes," you'll always picture her with the other guy and you'll never trust her again. If she says "no", you'll always have that bit of doubt. How can you be married to someone you don't trust?

Sounds like a crappy situation. Sorry.

[Baby_Jesus]

relationship help for this, that sucks man, i have no idea what i would do

[Baby_Jesus]

Originally Posted by Dragk913

Guys, don't answer this idiot. Just a sec ago he had a post that said he was a homo [strong homo].
he's just a damn troll.

srsly?