|
in ketosis
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Age: 21
Stats: 10'0", 165 lbs
Posts: 768
BodyBlog Entries: 0
BodyPoints: 1822
|
Selectively Obsessed?
Hey guys, I lurk this forum alot but I thought I'd finally register. I regularly go too the gym working on building strength, i use it as a great stress release
This is a bit long, enjoy the read :P if you think I did something stupid fire away
If you are too lazy to read, read bold text
I just turned 19, and met this girl off myspace (bad I know but meh), she was gorgeous and it started off well we sms'ed eachother alot, and it kinda died down I for some reason got a bit wierded out about it, we met up with her friends and it was fine but after that it kinda died down a bit and I let it be, I might of said 2 her hmm its quieter between (stupid i know, alot of this is hindsight).
Anyways out of the blue she comes on msn/ringing and really really seemed keen, ethusiastic about it all; kinda liked what i hoped for but i never got just came at one big hit, i told her ill come over tommorow she cancells work i came over and it was kinda wierd at first just me and her laying on her bed (2nd time we ever met), but I lucky brang my balls with me and of course we hooked up, ALOT of grinding but she had 2 go interview so i didnt go any further and then there was about a week complete no communication (that night i smsed her saying how was interview, no reply). I rang her prob once or twice no reply, maybe an sms later that week and then didnt bother anymore.
She eventually came on msn acting like all is good, i told her obviously your full of **** why are you so quiet; she eventually outted with the bull**** story of "its got nothing too do with you, i dont want commitment" rah rah (even though i never really intended on dating her).
I have no idea how she got that idea, I was kinda curious what she was in it for, just hookups or wanted too start something so I did **** test her like "it'd be good if we're closer in a few months" (i regret saying this but meh, all learning experience). I did tell her of course, im cool with the whole just hookup buddies thing but didnt seem to phase her. I found out a few weeks later she started 2 see some guy (dicked), I found out a very wrong way; I'd have too be honest and admit i scoped her myspace out a few times while we didnt talk and figured with all the kissing photos she was seeing him, i did the stupid thing by ringing her fone 3 times that night plus left an sms, she rang me next day saying hey u called? i go yeh u seeing this guy, shes like how do you know, i said are you and she said yeh so i politely killed off the convo and left it at that.
So I did my usual cut out tactic (kinda works), deleted her number/off msn/off myspace and was pretty over it to be honest, but other day she comes to me on msn like "mwa ive been missing you so much, i been thinking about you and how I treated between us (ie. what i said before, we hookup, she goes quiet, she does wierd ****) rara when you come back I want too straighten it all out so sorry about it all" there was a whole lot of other luvvy duck **** in there which i didnt reciprocate because i had the notion she was full of ****.
Anyways, I said 2 her that what exactly do you want, you wanna apologise or pick up where we left off; she dicks me by saying we'll talk about it when you come back, and I said well is that bad she goes na its ok, then asked me if ive met any girls overseas (**** test) I said not really (should of said yes), i told her you really dont know what you want do you she again **** tested me saying who says I want anything and then had 2 go.
Now I know it sounds like I myself dont know what I want, tbh i would date the girl but only prob because i think im obsessed with her; so many ppl told me she was hot i guess i saw her how too but i think that may of had an impact. I dont mind just chopping her and thats it, but its obvious that my minds a complete wreck and I cant navigate my self to that goal; i guarantee you if i hooked up with her and more id probably be over it all (i think).
She somehow gets in my mind too a point ill go visit her myspace a few times and read comments, so what do i deduce ? she adds some guy that looks familiar (this is around when she just apologised to me a few days ago 2 paragraphs up) and already getting on top friends, and this bull**** "mwa'ing" eachother.
First of all im an idiot for stalking it/deducing crap/its only myspace I know, but for some odd reason it still kinda hits me.
Now you all can come down too conclusion "whipped", what I find really wierd is that there was a girl before this one.
With her, i dont know why but I played it absoloutley positively 100% perfect, i got a hookup very early without nagging her, we went real far real fast, she lives right up the road and shes gorgeous; especially her body. and when she went all mental and was like "YOUR A NICE GUY YOU DONT DESERVE ME BLAH BLAH" and started seeing some other guy, too the bottom of my heart up i did not give the slightest ****, it flinched me for about 5 minutes then i just was over it and never thought of her ever. And on a side note, shes back from overseas, single again and take a guess probably wants 2 mingle. I just know how too play her perfectly, take her out whenever i tell her lets do something (she never says no, the other girl i was talking about always held **** off!).
I dont know what I did, its like a part of me can really handle these flings without giving a ****, and one part completely falls apart. I thought about it and I kinda summed it down too basically I listen to my dick too much, but I suppose thats fine because I do have enough wit to get action off girls (without sounding stuck up, because they'd even tell me they like me or keep asking for us to meet up). But its like my brain intervenes with its fine mixture of obsessiveness and ****s it all up, If i had a dime for every time i ****ed up with a girl purely because i handled it the wrong way id be rich.
When I hit up the gym, it all disappears, and I eventually reach conclusion that first girl I talked about is a complete loon/im too hooked on and should get over it, and I do but it seems like I always end up coming back too the same thing like im circling myself. Keeping busy seems bandaid solution, cant you be rid of this sort of ****
What do you guys think? any experience? I do have a few other girls lined up for when I come back, and a contingent plan. I learnt alot from the mistakes I made but I just wanna clearly see where did I dick it up.
Last edited by andy182; 07-21-2007 at 07:11 PM.
|
Linear Mode
