Wardogs BEST GAINS method

[wardog]

Well, I felt I would share some advice with the newbies on a program that will give them great growth, based on what I have learned laterly on these boards. First off, getting big is based on three things, rest, diet, and workout.

#1 REST: Your muscles need it to grow. So, first I suggest quitting school or your job, and explaining to your family the only way for you to get big is to rest. Laze around on the couch most of the day, preferrably with a 16 oz Budwieser in your hand. Switch it from hand to hand periodically, so you do not have any muscle imbalances between your right and left biceps. The remote control is great for building forearm strength. During the day, watch the Spice chnnel or another pornographic channel. Research has shown that watching pornograpghy raises testosterone levels. Watching Opra or soap operas WILL lower T levels, so be careful when channel surfing. It has been shown that just a 5 second exposure to "Days of our lives" can significantly lower T levels and raise Estrogen levels.

#2 DIET: I have learned a lot from EZLIFT. Based on his educated research, I have extrapolated his formulas even further. Caloric levels should be as follows:

120-140 5000 cal/day
140-160 4000 cal/day
160-180 3000 cal/day
180-200 2000 cal/day
200-220 1000 cal/day
220-240 Dont eat
240-260 regurgitate once per day
260-280 regurgitae twice a day
280-300 regurgitate three times a day
300+ start lopping off bodyparts with a chainsaw

For those allowed to eat, they should consume as many White Castle hamburgers as possible. The reason they need to be White Castle, is that they have those tiny hamburgers because they get them from baby cows..which are still loaded with growth hormone. Mc Donalds, and Burger King use adult cows, so the GH levels are not as high.

Excellent supplements are Doritos and Suzi-Qs. The spices in Doritos increase body tempurature, and are great for cutting. The high carb levels of Suzi-Q's make them the perfect post workout nutrition.

WORKOUT: Ahhh, the biggest falicy in the muscle building game. So many people falsely believe that muscle growth is due to lifting those weights. Actually, the weights have nothing to do with it. What is critical is the number of attractive women in spandex. Again, science has proven that just looking at a little cutie in skin tight workout wear raises testosterone levels as much as 172364%. You lift those weight thingies just to look busy while you oogle the little cuties in spandex. Therefore, you need to choose your gym carefully. The more cuties in the gym, the bigger you can grow. If you workout at home, posting pictures of playmates on the walls will suffice, then you do not even need to lift. Just sit on your bench and oogle. Since you now know that the weights have nothing to do with getting ig, those little pink dumbells will do just fine. Bodypart choices and workout routines become irrelevant. Just grab some pink dumbells and do whatever you feel like!! Always choose your workout area wisely however, so you have the maximum amount of mirrors to check out all around they gym, othwerwise you could miss that hottie that jacks your testosterone levels into the stratosphere.

Well, I hope this helped. Just so you know, I have a PHq in newtrshion and wurkout science from a major university, so I am on the cutting edge of workout science. I hope I will make a positive addition to this board!!

[Bobo]

This will not work unless you regurgitate at least 4 times, not 3...Then you will be huge.

[Judo]

You must know what you are talking about if you have a PHq in newtrshion and wurkout science from a major university, have you dun competitions? Finally someone on this board that isn't dum! I hate dum canadians!

Seriously, that was funny.

[Blacksmith]

Originally posted by wardog
First off, getting big is based on three things, rest, diet, and workout.

LMAO

Everyone forgets about death/dying.
Dropping dead will kill your gains and must be avoided
Getting hit by a bus and not dying is also bad for gains
but not quite as bad as dirt napping.
Getting shot.... well you can form your own opinion.

I like the suzy Q idea.
Although I've always been partial to Funnybones LOL.

[SirSavageX]

LOL

Good stuff, War.

I just have one problem. Since I live in the deep South, we don't have White Castles around. Since the Krystal is so similar to White Castle, from what I've heard from carpetbaggers anyway, can I substitute Krystal hamburgers for White Castle? Do they get their meat from baby cows as well?

[wardog]

Originally posted by SirSavageX
LOL

Good stuff, War.

I just have one problem. Since I live in the deep South, we don't have White Castles around. Since the Krystal is so similar to White Castle, from what I've heard from carpetbaggers anyway, can I substitute Krystal hamburgers for White Castle? Do they get their meat from baby cows as well?

I am familiar with Krystal, and unfortunatly, they are not made from baby cows. If White Castle is unavailable, I suggest finding somewhere that sells "hot wings". Those tiny wings are made from baby chickens, and are also a good source of GH. The only advantage you have in living in the south, is that cutting is much easier. Any Cajun food is great for cutting due to the spices (again, only if your bodyweight allows you to eat!)

[SirSavageX]

Originally posted by wardog


I am familiar with Krystal, and unfortunatly, they are not made from baby cows. If White Castle is unavailable, I suggest finding somewhere that sells "hot wings". Those tiny wings are made from baby chickens, and are also a good source of GH.

Gotcha', thanks. Buffalo's Cafe, it is.

The only advantage you have in living in the south, is that cutting is much easier. Any Cajun food is great for cutting due to the spices (again, only if your bodyweight allows you to eat!)

War, you sure know you're stuff (newbies, pay attention to this guy!!), but I must clarify something. By Southern, I didn't mean Cajun. Actually, far from it. I wasn't born on the bayou, I was born in the cotton fields. In other words, sort of the "good ol' boy" South. And our food, while EXCELLENT tasting, and quite good for bulking, isn't what you'd call ideal for cutting. It's extremely hard to cut, when you go home and momma's making country fried steak, with gravy on, along with some cornbread, dipped in fatback.

[The Conqueror]

Originally posted by SirSavageX
LOL

Good stuff, War.

I just have one problem. Since I live in the deep South, we don't have White Castles around. Since the Krystal is so similar to White Castle, from what I've heard from carpetbaggers anyway, can I substitute Krystal hamburgers for White Castle? Do they get their meat from baby cows as well?

Sir Savage! Great to see another from the "home of the Braves". I'm from Conyers on the East side....how bout you?

[The Conqueror]

Hey guys!

I got up to 260 lbs about 3.5 years ago by eating Taco Bell, 2 whoppers and king sized fries and all kinds of sh*t like that!

Hell yeah! Eat at waffle house 7 times a day!

[SirSavageX]

Originally posted by The Conqueror


Sir Savage! Great to see another from the "home of the Braves". I'm from Conyers on the East side....how bout you?

A local boy!

Born in Marietta, raised in Marietta/Kennesaw/Woodstock.

[Sabercat]

Originally posted by SirSavageX
sort of the "good ol' boy" South.

Then you need to supplement with RC Cola, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Moon Pies.

[SirSavageX]

Originally posted by Sabercat


Then you need to supplement with RC Cola, Pabst Blue Ribbon and Moon Pies.

How could you forget the food of the gods that is grits??

[Sabercat]

Originally posted by SirSavageX


How could you forget the food of the gods that is grits??

Honestly, I have no idea what a grit is. I've heard of them, I've even said 'kiss my grits' before, but I've never seen a grit.

[TPRES]

LMFAO!!! Wardog you crack me up, that was some funny ****!!

[MotorcityAl]

Originally posted by wardog


I am familiar with Krystal, and unfortunatly, they are not made from baby cows. If White Castle is unavailable, I suggest finding somewhere that sells "hot wings". Those tiny wings are made from baby chickens, and are also a good source of GH. The only advantage you have in living in the south, is that cutting is much easier. Any Cajun food is great for cutting due to the spices (again, only if your bodyweight allows you to eat!)

Now wait just a minute. Everyone knows that those hot wings come from flying buffalos, and we all know how nutritious (or is it knewtrishus) buffalo meat is. And what is it about chickens anyway. there's the Rooster, the Hen, and the chicken. Who's having sex with who? And what is it with these Cornish game hens?

[Lonny]

LMFAO

This is what i was waiting for.

[wardog]

Lonny, you were the one who gave me the inspiration bro!

[Lonny]

yeah, i was too busy the past few days to do it myself.

It was some funny stuff!

[SirSavageX]

Originally posted by Sabercat


Honestly, I have no idea what a grit is. I've heard of them, I've even said 'kiss my grits' before, but I've never seen a grit.

If you saw a grit, you probably wouldn't know it. A grit is pretty small. They're most noticeable when combined in large quantities.

Well, since you've never even seen grits before, much less tried them, then I think it's time for you to take a little trip southward. They're worth the trip.

Plus, you'll get to see the other kind of G.R.I.T.S., Girls Raised In The South, and trust me, that is also WELL WORTH it.

[wardog]

Originally posted by SirSavageX


Plus, you'll get to see the other kind of G.R.I.T.S., Girls Raised In The South, and trust me, that is also WELL WORTH it.

I must say, my last three g/f have been G.R.I.T.S. and I must agree..they are fun playthings. Havent found one worth keeping, but DAMN fine playthings. Of course, the current, and ex are both Louisiana girls..so perhaps I am too far deep south. These cajun girls may not be worth much long term, but as Miss right now..they are awesome!!

[SirSavageX]

Originally posted by wardog


I must say, my last three g/f have been G.R.I.T.S. and I must agree..they are fun playthings. Havent found one worth keeping, but DAMN fine playthings. Of course, the current, and ex are both Louisiana girls..so perhaps I am too far deep south. These cajun girls may not be worth much long term, but as Miss right now..they are awesome!!

I got two words for you, War: Georgia Peaches.

Nothing like a purty Georgia Peach.

[wardog]

*sings* Goin to the country..gonna eat a lot of peaches!!! *waggles eyebrows*

Anyone else remember that song??

[dez/null]

so what if your like a few ounces over 300? do you cut a finger off? witch one?