Don't know how to handle this

[82nd_Fister]

My fiancee lied to me today.

Here's the deal: I'm in the Army. 82nd Airborne division, 2nd brigade, Deployed to Iraq. I had just gotten to my first unit when I met my fiancee. I met her through a friend and we fell in love.

2 months later we found out we were going to be deployed and I already knew I wanted to be with her forever. We had been talking about "What if you get pregnant?" "Would you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"
I told her if she had gotten pregnant I wouldn't leave her. I'd do the respectable thing and be with her. Well, She never got pregnant.

I got to go on Christmas leave and she didn't so she stayed at Bragg.
I got called off of Christmas leave for an emergency deployment. They said be back in 48 hours, we're deploying in less than 10 days.
So my fiancee and I decided we were going to get married because, even though we're in different units the Army still has a policy that allows you to be with your spouse while on deployments when the sitation permits, and I wanted to be with her. We ended up not getting married, but we still deployed: Heres my dilemma:

I had to take one of my buddies home from Fayetteville, NC to Charlotte, NC one weekend. It was about a 6 hour drive. I called her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm about to go out with some of my buddies". I'm thinking buddies like.. Females, you know? Well, I asked who it was and she said it was two of the guys she works with, Which caught me off guard and sent up a huge red flag. I took a fairly harsh tone with her and said I'd call her when I got back to F.t. Bragg.

After that I called one of our mutual friends (We'll call him John) to see if he could go with her. Because she said she was going to wal-mart and John had some stuff to do there anyway. But when he called she said she didn't have room for him in the car.
After that he called me back and told me, I got even more infuriated and was driving like a maniac trying to make it back to Bragg before she did so I could catch these guys and beat the **** out of them (No one goes out with my chica, Especially when I'm away). So I got back to the barracks and she was already there. I took her to my room and had a talk with her about it and she said she'd never do it again.
I figured, Ok She says she'll never do it again. And I left it at that because I trusted her.


While I was on Christmas leave, I called her up and told her I loved her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach". I said "That's a long way to drive by yourself, are you sure you won't fall asleep?" She said "No, I have (lets call him Adam) with me."
I asked who Adam was and she said Adam was a guy she had talked to 1 time in formation and apparently he got her number off a piece of paper at Headquarters, which he wasn't supposed to see btw, called her and asked if she wanted to go to the beach. When I called she was already halfway there (2 hour drive)

I was furious that she would drive that far with another guy. So I, in a very harsh tone, told her just to call me back whenever she got home.
She called me back later and said "I'm sorry honey, I didn't realize it would make you upset" and that infuriated me even more because I had talked with her previously about this. So we had a long talk about it again and I told her basically that I wasn't going to share her with other guys and if she wanted to be with me, she better ****ing be with me.
So I left that alone.


Now we've been deployed for 6 months. She's at Camp Taji and I'm forward (In the ****, basically) at a small COP(Centeral Operating Post) deep inside Sadr City. I get to go back and see my Fiancee every 2 weeks to a month.

She's working detainee guard back at Taji and she's around a lot of guys. I don't like this but what am I going to do?

Well, We were talking on yahoo messenger and right about the time she got off I got this email that said: "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I've been busy lately. I've got saturday off, do you want to hang out? I'll be up there around 1900-2000"

I was thinking, wtf is this? I figured she had sent it to me by mistake, so I called her up (We both have tracfones we bought from the Iraqis at Taji) and I asked her what the **** is this email I just got.
She tried to play stupid and said "What email?"
She said she didn't send me any email and I kept saying "Don't ****ing lie to me"

Finally, after about 10 minutes of runaround, she meant to send it to some guy she met from the 1st Cavalry division about 4 months ago.
They haven't talked for a while, but she wanted to hang out with him.

So we pretty much fought about it and I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over. End of discussion.


About 10 minutes after we hung up she texted me and said "He has a couple of dvds and cd's I loaned him that I want back, that's it."

So.. What am I supposed to do about this? I mean, how do I handle this?
I don't want it to be over between us because I genuinely love her. But I'm not going to share her with other guys.


Cliffs:

1.Met a girl in the Army
2.Fell in Love
3.Got deployed together
4.Got an email saying she had the day off saturday and wanted to hang out
5.I called her up and, after she lied to me and said she didn't know where it came from or why it was in my inbox, she told me it was from a guy she met 4 months ago
6.I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over.
7.She texted me after we hung up and said that she just wanted to get some Dvds and cd's back from him.

[stliftn8]

Originally Posted by 82nd_Fister

My fiancee lied to me today.

Here's the deal: I'm in the Army. 82nd Airborne division, 2nd brigade, Deployed to Iraq. I had just gotten to my first unit when I met my fiancee. I met her through a friend and we fell in love.

2 months later we found out we were going to be deployed and I already knew I wanted to be with her forever. We had been talking about "What if you get pregnant?" "Would you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"
I told her if she had gotten pregnant I wouldn't leave her. I'd do the respectable thing and be with her. Well, She never got pregnant.

I got to go on Christmas leave and she didn't so she stayed at Bragg.
I got called off of Christmas leave for an emergency deployment. They said be back in 48 hours, we're deploying in less than 10 days.
So my fiancee and I decided we were going to get married because, even though we're in different units the Army still has a policy that allows you to be with your spouse while on deployments when the sitation permits, and I wanted to be with her. We ended up not getting married, but we still deployed: Heres my dilemma:

I had to take one of my buddies home from Fayetteville, NC to Charlotte, NC one weekend. It was about a 6 hour drive. I called her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm about to go out with some of my buddies". I'm thinking buddies like.. Females, you know? Well, I asked who it was and she said it was two of the guys she works with, Which caught me off guard and sent up a huge red flag. I took a fairly harsh tone with her and said I'd call her when I got back to F.t. Bragg.

After that I called one of our mutual friends (We'll call him John) to see if he could go with her. Because she said she was going to wal-mart and John had some stuff to do there anyway. But when he called she said she didn't have room for him in the car.
After that he called me back and told me, I got even more infuriated and was driving like a maniac trying to make it back to Bragg before she did so I could catch these guys and beat the **** out of them (No one goes out with my chica, Especially when I'm away). So I got back to the barracks and she was already there. I took her to my room and had a talk with her about it and she said she'd never do it again.
I figured, Ok She says she'll never do it again. And I left it at that because I trusted her.


While I was on Christmas leave, I called her up and told her I loved her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach". I said "That's a long way to drive by yourself, are you sure you won't fall asleep?" She said "No, I have (lets call him Adam) with me."
I asked who Adam was and she said Adam was a guy she had talked to 1 time in formation and apparently he got her number off a piece of paper at Headquarters, which he wasn't supposed to see btw, called her and asked if she wanted to go to the beach. When I called she was already halfway there (2 hour drive)

I was furious that she would drive that far with another guy. So I, in a very harsh tone, told her just to call me back whenever she got home.
She called me back later and said "I'm sorry honey, I didn't realize it would make you upset" and that infuriated me even more because I had talked with her previously about this. So we had a long talk about it again and I told her basically that I wasn't going to share her with other guys and if she wanted to be with me, she better ****ing be with me.
So I left that alone.


Now we've been deployed for 6 months. She's at Camp Taji and I'm forward (In the ****, basically) at a small COP(Centeral Operating Post) deep inside Sadr City. I get to go back and see my Fiancee every 2 weeks to a month.

She's working detainee guard back at Taji and she's around a lot of guys. I don't like this but what am I going to do?

Well, We were talking on yahoo messenger and right about the time she got off I got this email that said: "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I've been busy lately. I've got saturday off, do you want to hang out? I'll be up there around 1900-2000"

I was thinking, wtf is this? I figured she had sent it to me by mistake, so I called her up (We both have tracfones we bought from the Iraqis at Taji) and I asked her what the **** is this email I just got.
She tried to play stupid and said "What email?"
She said she didn't send me any email and I kept saying "Don't ****ing lie to me"

Finally, after about 10 minutes of runaround, she meant to send it to some guy she met from the 1st Cavalry division about 4 months ago.
They haven't talked for a while, but she wanted to hang out with him.

So we pretty much fought about it and I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over. End of discussion.


About 10 minutes after we hung up she texted me and said "He has a couple of dvds and cd's I loaned him that I want back, that's it."

So.. What am I supposed to do about this? I mean, how do I handle this?
I don't want it to be over between us because I genuinely love her. But I'm not going to share her with other guys.


Cliffs:

1.Met a girl in the Army
2.Fell in Love
3.Got deployed together
4.Got an email saying she had the day off saturday and wanted to hang out
5.I called her up and, after she lied to me and said she didn't know where it came from or why it was in my inbox, she told me it was from a guy she met 4 months ago
6.I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over.
7.She texted me after we hung up and said that she just wanted to get some Dvds and cd's back from him.

Let me just say im not in the army but under the impression that its severly a lack of girls in there. Im assuming ur girl is decently hot which would make it even worse for u because with a bunch of guys all around and a shortage of girls means at the very least she is getting hit on by all the guys there. And from all the **** that seems to be goin on it doesnt sound good and u seem to keep makin threats if it happens again and it does but u never follow through. Ive learned now u cant just let girls do this **** so i say if it does happen again end it seriously. Hope nothings happening and everythings just a misunderstanding man but dont back down if it happens again.

[IAmABiscuit]

Hi, just to point out, personally i wouldn't say "fell in love", maybe a fall, but definitely not love - but then again, who am i to judge? The basis of love is mutual trust and honesty, which is seemingly not present in this relationship.

Before thinking of what you should do, you should realise that by telling you (instead of lying to you, like she could have) about the first few times when she went out, she didn't want to hide anything from you. That to me, is a positive thing, despite the negative that she's going out with another guy. I normally wouldn't restrict who my girl is seeing, as long as she knows what shes doing and doesn't cross the friends line. Have she crossed the friends line?

And the third time - think about it this way, maybe she only tried to lie to you because she was skeptical about angering you, seeing how easily offended you were one the first few occasions.

I'm laying everything out in all positivity. Now i understand your jealousy and anger, something which evidently shows how much she means to you. The thing about jealousy, i've learn over time, it will never, ever help things. If things are doing fine, jealousy screws it up. If things aren't doing fine, jealousy screws it up even more.

Trust me, jealousy is a fuel, not a deterrence of a failure of a relationship. The best you could do - if you're unused to her ways of seeing other guys would be to talk to her, and if things doesn't work out, drop it.

[chyeaaaa]

I really dont wanna hurt you man.. but it sounds like shes cheating/seeing other guys... Dont just drop her.. if things keep going on the way they are, u might need to move on. The whole long distance thing would be wayy to hard for me..

[Below 30]

All you can do is suffer the "AFC" attack. Nothing we can say will change the idea you have, that you can make her soley have feelings for you. Logic means nothing to a man that is "In Love".

She basically owns your mind and you won't learn until she commits the ultimate wrong. I will say that what ever you do (when the worst case scenerio happens), keep your hands off her or any man involved with her, because you against the LAW is no contest. Don't mess up your professional career for any woman.

You have us here to continue or make a new thread about how to move on after the worst takes place -30-

[kmk25II45]

no offense bro, really. But if you're 18 and you're ready to marry a girl after 2 months, then...well, that's not going to work out too well.

[82nd_Fister]

We've been together for 8. Sorry I wrote that in a way that made it seem like 2, I just realized that.

[prep120]

u cant stop her from hanging around other guys. she will work with guys and eventually become friends so if u want to spend the rest of ur life with her then u better get used to it.

i would be really worried though if i was u.

You dont sound very mature about all this though. Why would you go beat up some poor guys just for hanging out with your GF? for all you know she might have told them she was single.

[chasebattle]

she seems like shes bull****tin u and gettin hit up by army guys man. Not tryin to be an ass but who drives to myrtle beach with some dude when she has a steady bf?

[82nd_Fister]

I thought breaking them would make my anger towards her disappear.

And at the time, I was too infuriated to think about anything she might have said to them. All I could think was these guys are out with my woman and I have to let them know that's a no-go.

[ItalWHOP]

Geez, you sound like a controlling prick. Why don't you just lock her up in the basement.

What should you do about this?

Get some f'ing confidence and drop the jealousy.

[SquatTillYaPuke]

"I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach" With a guy I talked to one time. You dont sound like a prick to me, you sound like an idiot. I hate bashing people , but after that I would have been asking around to everybody I could , to find out about her. What I do know is, you dont go on your time off to some guy you havent talked to for 4 months, to pick up some dvds. She knows how sensitive you are , she should have told you way up front what she was doing. Plus you dont write a message to somebody about getting dvds , and say you want to hang and sorry we havent talked for a while , you say hey got dem dvds?

[Npeart]

Originally Posted by SquatTillYaPuke

"I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach" With a guy I talked to one time. You dont sound like a prick to me, you sound like an idiot. I hate bashing people , but after that I would have been asking around to everybody I could , to find out about her. What I do know is, you dont go on your time off to some guy you havent talked to for 4 months, to pick up some dvds. She knows how sensitive you are , she should have told you way up front what she was doing. Plus you dont write a message to somebody about getting dvds , and say you want to hang and sorry we havent talked for a while , you say hey got dem dvds?

Yeah, not to flame, but WTF, bro? Is she serious? Time to cut the chord, my friend. You don't trust her now and, believe me, once that's gone, it's over. I wasted a year and a half on someone I never trusted. Don't make the same mistake I did. Cut her loose, she's too shady. . .

[Rascals2010]

I would send her packin... it will be rough but man you don't need to deal with these head games. There are plenty of women out there that know how to treat a man and respect him by NOT going out with every guy that drops her his phone number.

[Npeart]

Originally Posted by Rascals2010

I would send her packin... it will be rough but man you don't need to deal with these head games. There are plenty of women out there that know how to treat a man and respect him by NOT going out with every guy that drops her his phone number.

Yup, but sadly this kind of woman seems to be on the endangered species list.

[82nd_Fister]

So I should just drop her?

[skinnygymboy]

of ot was the first or second time this had happen then maby its okay but youve talked to her and she keeps doing it man that **** isnt right. youve got a load of life yet to live with better girls to meet so my best advice is to lose this girl and cut all contact with her you life will be a lot eaiser and better and youl b happy

[Below 30]

Originally Posted by Younger-Jamez

of ot was the first or second time this had happen then maby its okay but youve talked to her and she keeps doing it man that **** isnt right. youve got a load of life yet to live with better girls to meet so my best advice is to lose this girl and cut all contact with her you life will be a lot eaiser and better and youl b happy

Exactly.


Your're a military man, that's not exactly no weak-ass type of profession. So just like how you've got the military toughness infused into you, use it to walk away from her and don't look back SOLDIER! (serious) -30-

[FunkDaddy]

3 strikes bro + she keeps lying to you

[Leon Phelps]

End it dawg.

[Iron_Ike]

You're probably better off just ending it. Sure, you will be stressed out for a couple weeks, but better than having to put up with this **** and be stressed out for the rest of your life. She knows what she is doing pisses you off, yet she keeps doing it... Obviously she is attempting to see how much she can get away with because you always end up taking her back.

[xagdxvips]

I've come to the realization that all girls are skanks. Its no lie my brotha, the only female I would ever trust in this world is my Mother. Honest truth, you're not going to like it, but she IS cheating on you. Its because women get lonely and want to feel needed, thus trying to get it from someone else. Have you ever seen the movie "Jarhead"??? Watch it sometime. That how it goes. You need to control your views. Remember this quote: Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

Never let some female control your life bro.

[rampagefc77]

tough position. sounds like a bitch to me. nobody should feel the way u do in a relationship. once a girl lies, trust is gone and its over. end of story.

[Points]

Originally Posted by 82nd_Fister

So I should just drop her?

with the quickness. seriously.

[luckylynch]

Originally Posted by 82nd_Fister

My fiancee lied to me today.

Here's the deal: I'm in the Army. 82nd Airborne division, 2nd brigade, Deployed to Iraq. I had just gotten to my first unit when I met my fiancee. I met her through a friend and we fell in love.

2 months later we found out we were going to be deployed and I already knew I wanted to be with her forever. We had been talking about "What if you get pregnant?" "Would you want to spend the rest of your life with me?"
I told her if she had gotten pregnant I wouldn't leave her. I'd do the respectable thing and be with her. Well, She never got pregnant.

I got to go on Christmas leave and she didn't so she stayed at Bragg.
I got called off of Christmas leave for an emergency deployment. They said be back in 48 hours, we're deploying in less than 10 days.
So my fiancee and I decided we were going to get married because, even though we're in different units the Army still has a policy that allows you to be with your spouse while on deployments when the sitation permits, and I wanted to be with her. We ended up not getting married, but we still deployed: Heres my dilemma:

I had to take one of my buddies home from Fayetteville, NC to Charlotte, NC one weekend. It was about a 6 hour drive. I called her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm about to go out with some of my buddies". I'm thinking buddies like.. Females, you know? Well, I asked who it was and she said it was two of the guys she works with, Which caught me off guard and sent up a huge red flag. I took a fairly harsh tone with her and said I'd call her when I got back to F.t. Bragg.

After that I called one of our mutual friends (We'll call him John) to see if he could go with her. Because she said she was going to wal-mart and John had some stuff to do there anyway. But when he called she said she didn't have room for him in the car.
After that he called me back and told me, I got even more infuriated and was driving like a maniac trying to make it back to Bragg before she did so I could catch these guys and beat the **** out of them (No one goes out with my chica, Especially when I'm away). So I got back to the barracks and she was already there. I took her to my room and had a talk with her about it and she said she'd never do it again.
I figured, Ok She says she'll never do it again. And I left it at that because I trusted her.


While I was on Christmas leave, I called her up and told her I loved her and asked what she was doing. She said "I'm on my way to Myrtle Beach". I said "That's a long way to drive by yourself, are you sure you won't fall asleep?" She said "No, I have (lets call him Adam) with me."
I asked who Adam was and she said Adam was a guy she had talked to 1 time in formation and apparently he got her number off a piece of paper at Headquarters, which he wasn't supposed to see btw, called her and asked if she wanted to go to the beach. When I called she was already halfway there (2 hour drive)

I was furious that she would drive that far with another guy. So I, in a very harsh tone, told her just to call me back whenever she got home.
She called me back later and said "I'm sorry honey, I didn't realize it would make you upset" and that infuriated me even more because I had talked with her previously about this. So we had a long talk about it again and I told her basically that I wasn't going to share her with other guys and if she wanted to be with me, she better ****ing be with me.
So I left that alone.


Now we've been deployed for 6 months. She's at Camp Taji and I'm forward (In the ****, basically) at a small COP(Centeral Operating Post) deep inside Sadr City. I get to go back and see my Fiancee every 2 weeks to a month.

She's working detainee guard back at Taji and she's around a lot of guys. I don't like this but what am I going to do?

Well, We were talking on yahoo messenger and right about the time she got off I got this email that said: "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while. I've been busy lately. I've got saturday off, do you want to hang out? I'll be up there around 1900-2000"

I was thinking, wtf is this? I figured she had sent it to me by mistake, so I called her up (We both have tracfones we bought from the Iraqis at Taji) and I asked her what the **** is this email I just got.
She tried to play stupid and said "What email?"
She said she didn't send me any email and I kept saying "Don't ****ing lie to me"

Finally, after about 10 minutes of runaround, she meant to send it to some guy she met from the 1st Cavalry division about 4 months ago.
They haven't talked for a while, but she wanted to hang out with him.

So we pretty much fought about it and I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over. End of discussion.


About 10 minutes after we hung up she texted me and said "He has a couple of dvds and cd's I loaned him that I want back, that's it."

So.. What am I supposed to do about this? I mean, how do I handle this?
I don't want it to be over between us because I genuinely love her. But I'm not going to share her with other guys.


Cliffs:

1.Met a girl in the Army
2.Fell in Love
3.Got deployed together
4.Got an email saying she had the day off saturday and wanted to hang out
5.I called her up and, after she lied to me and said she didn't know where it came from or why it was in my inbox, she told me it was from a guy she met 4 months ago
6.I told her if she ever lied to me again it was over.
7.She texted me after we hung up and said that she just wanted to get some Dvds and cd's back from him.

i read through some of your stuff--

well, you already said time and time again that you want to be with her and it seems the more you say it the more distant and difficult everything is ? obviously, that suggests she doesn't

I would move on--if she isnt making an effort to be with you then its history

tell her you got another chick and your getting married--

[DaCougarMech]

if she doesnt know that hanging out with other guys will drive a bf insane, then she's a fool
dont let her trick you into thinking she's a goody goody innocent girl

[luckylynch]

Originally Posted by DaCougarMech

if she doesnt know that hanging out with other guys will drive a bf insane, then she's a fool
dont let her trick you into thinking she's a goody goody innocent girl

ill rep to that. Thats like saying, i wont pretend to like you and try to get into your pants

[luckylynch]

Originally Posted by DaCougarMech

if she doesnt know that hanging out with other guys will drive a bf insane, then she's a fool
dont let her trick you into thinking she's a goody goody innocent girl

she knows what she is doing

Obviously, she is just playing games to hurt him

[blindside]

Drop her, like its hot. You'll thank us later.

[AlphaMe]

Just so you know...love is a myth. Just wanted to put it out there.