Long-distance does not work, I finally realise. Broke up with gf of 9 months, messy

[The_Reaper]

Worst thing of all, she cheated.

We had no future together. She is 3 years older than me, looking to marry, settle down, have stability in her life. I can't offer her that.

Maybe some people here remember my other posts about her, and the majority of you said to end it. Why I didn't listen... most of you were absolutely correct. Amris said it best, and I blocked out her advice like an idiot.

My gf left open her MSN and I looked at the conversation history between her and a guy who she has been exploiting like me. The guy said something like "I hope you shave your pussy this time so it doesn't cause trouble for my nose".

Of course, that was like getting the wind knocked out of me. I packed my bags and told her it was over. She cried the whole day, and the day after that. I never saw anyone cry so hard and long. She begged me to stay, to forgive her, that she was desperate and so sorry, that she was alone for 5 months and was so lonely (we were living 1000 miles apart, communicating through MSN and Skype). But there is absolutely no way.

She was playing me and the other guy. When I was on her computer, guess who happens to show up on MSN - the guy, and he says hello. Well I typed something to the effect that I would kill him if I ever see him. But after the initial anger I started telling him what the girl has been doing - badmouthing him and playing us both. He told me she has been **** talking about me, and in one amazing moment, we both described the very same comments she had spoken to both of us, like "I tried to get out of this relationship but can't."

She was a cheating, greedy, lying, deceitful, unloyal person. This fact is so difficult for me to accept, it hurts like hell, after living with what I thought was a wonderful beautiful-natured girl for 9 months and sharing such great times and memories, we connected so well, or so it seemed. Damn

[Callagher]

Nope. Long distance doesn't work. Shame you had to find out for yourself.

[The_Reaper]

Yeah, shame. But it's a damn sure way of learning it.

I cheated too, but it was with two random girls I never met again (not at the same time unfortunately)

She cheated with someone emotionally and physically, telling him she thought about him every day, flirting heavily, ****-talking me, and meeting the guy all the time, going places with him, etc. Worst of all, she never told me anything, she continually lied. I hate that kind of deception.

I'm starting to think all women are cheating, lying whores. But that is so negative... I don't want to become a cynical, miserable f*ck

[Beklet]

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

Yeah, shame. But it's a damn sure way of learning it.

I cheated too, but it was with two random girls I never met again (not at the same time unfortunately)

She cheated with someone emotionally and physically, telling him she thought about him every day, flirting heavily, ****-talking me, and meeting the guy all the time, going places with him, etc. Worst of all, she never told me anything, she continually lied. I hate that kind of deception.

I'm starting to think all women are cheating, lying whores. But that is so negative... I don't want to become a cynical, miserable f*ck

She would see you rcheating as cheating regardless. Men can shag random women and have it mean nothing, but it will be a big thing for the woman you're cheating on!!!!!

But my original point was all women are NOT cheating, lying whores, so there's no need to become a miserable cynic just yet...

Long distance relationships can be messy. I'm watching a frien of mines deteriorate as his girlfriend realises she actually has to make an effort with the relationship, she can't bebothered and may find something closer to home. It's going to hit him hard when it happens, but we can only warn him

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by Beklet

She would see you rcheating as cheating regardless. Men can shag random women and have it mean nothing, but it will be a big thing for the woman you're cheating on!!!!!

But my original point was all women are NOT cheating, lying whores, so there's no need to become a miserable cynic just yet...

Long distance relationships can be messy. I'm watching a frien of mines deteriorate as his girlfriend realises she actually has to make an effort with the relationship, she can't bebothered and may find something closer to home. It's going to hit him hard when it happens, but we can only warn him

Thanks Beklet. I won't become a miserable cynic, but I'm keeping my guard up. This is so hurtful, because my guard was always up and slowly but surely I started to trust her. Now there is no going back. I admit it, I love the girl, it breaks my heart. It depresses me about human nature, the conflicts of interest, the lies and the bull**** involved in personal relationships. I would never admit this to her, I keep these thoughts concealed. I acted indifferent, as if I did not give a ****

Just a note about the cheating - I believe it would be far worse for a woman if her man cheated with another woman that he loved and cared about, ie a deep lasting relationship. But for a man, it would be crushing if his girlfriend slept around with random guys (minus relationship). Maybe that doesn't make much sense, I'm not explaining it right.

Can I ask you, have you ever cheated on any of your boyfriends?

EDIT: you don't have to answer that of course

[Beklet]

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

Thanks Beklet. I won't become a miserable cynic, but I'm keeping my guard up. This is so hurtful, because my guard was always up and slowly but surely I started to trust her. Now there is no going back. I admit it, I love the girl, it breaks my heart. It depresses me about human nature, the conflicts of interest, the lies and the bull**** involved in personal relationships. I would never admit this to her, I keep these thoughts concealed. I acted indifferent, as if I did not give a ****

Just a note about the cheating - I believe it would be far worse for a woman if her man cheated with another woman that he loved and cared about, ie a deep lasting relationship. But for a man, it would be crushing if his girlfriend slept around with random guys (minus relationship). Maybe that doesn't make much sense, I'm not explaining it right.

Can I ask you, have you ever cheated on any of your boyfriends?

It would be worse if a man cheated with someone he cared about, but cheating is cheating and is hurtful whatever. It's still breaking trust. I can understand a girl just randomly sleeping around would be pretty horrible for a man, but I'm not sure I understand why that would be worse than her developing a relationship

And in answer to your question - I once kissed another bloke when I was 17. This may have been revenge for finding out my boyfriend was sleeping with someone else (and yes I dumped him next time I saw him)
That's about the extent of my cheating
Have I been cheated on before? Yes. 4 times that I know about
I still have faith in men though

[SteR-]

****in hell I hate reading threads like this.. makes me wonder why so many people have such little self-discipline to stop them from cheating..

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by Beklet

It would be worse if a man cheated with someone he cared about, but cheating is cheating and is hurtful whatever. It's still breaking trust. I can understand a girl just randomly sleeping around would be pretty horrible for a man, but I'm not sure I understand why that would be worse than her developing a relationship

And in answer to your question - I once kissed another bloke when I was 17. This may have been revenge for finding out my boyfriend was sleeping with someone else (and yes I dumped him next time I saw him)
That's about the extent of my cheating
Have I been cheated on before? Yes. 4 times that I know about
I still have faith in men though

You are right, cheating is cheating and it is hurtful regardless. It is low, mean, lousy, and usually done by people with low self esteem, ****ty self worth and low integrity. I was an ******* to be with those women. She was also wrong for cheating with that guy. We both fcked up.

I'm sorry to hear about that, 4 times... a lot of men are bastards, but not all. I hope the same is true of women

Originally Posted by SteR-

****in hell I hate reading threads like this.. makes me wonder why so many people have such little self-discipline to stop them from cheating..

I don't know if anyone will believe me, or if this has been said before, but consciously part of the reason I cheated was for a kind of perverted sense of insurance and security. Like - she will hurt me, but I don't care, because I have also cheated and thus I will not be hurt. I will not be the innocent naive fool cheated on, because I too have played that game and I have ammo.

Does that make sense? It's very bad, I know.

[MonarchX]

Once a girl loses her virginity, she will not be able to go long without sex.

Realize that there were reasons why men (and women) wants no sex before marriage. There are legal, health (STDs), responsibility (children) and EMOTIONAL (cheating) reasons. But marriage doesn't help with any of those these days anyway...

Long term relationships do not work. Don't be a cynic, but all women are going to be sluts at some point or another.

Simply STOP being jealous and have girls as your sex and stress-relieving partners. They are not special, they don't understand you and NEVER WILL. Men understand men and women understand women. A relationship between a man and a woman is a SEXUAL one.

Psychologists rated 90% of families to be DYSFUNCTIONAL. You think the act they put on when you come over for some family dinner is how it goes on for them every day?

Don't let emotions take over. Just be physical with them and see them as entertainers. Not entertainers for sex, but also for just hanging out. Enjoy them, but them as candy that you eventually eat and it comes out of your rear end!

A girl cheating on you doesn't make worse of a person. Understand that she just wanted to have someone by her side and another cock up her ass.

Nothing wrong with that. Its that bond you created in your head that hurts you. There was NO BOND in reality. It does not exist. There is only sex.

After you have sex (immediately after), have you ever felt that your FEELINGS for a girl just disappear until you want to screw again? Think about it...

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

Once a girl loses her virginity, she will not be able to go long without sex.

Realize that there were reasons why men (and women) wants no sex before marriage. There are legal, health (STDs), responsibility (children) and EMOTIONAL (cheating) reasons. But marriage doesn't help with any of those these days anyway...

Long term relationships do not work. Don't be a cynic, but all women are going to be sluts at some point or another.

Simply STOP being jealous and have girls as your sex and stress-relieving partners. They are not special, they don't understand you and NEVER WILL. Men understand men and women understand women. A relationship between a man and a woman is a SEXUAL one.

Psychologists rated 90% of families to be DYSFUNCTIONAL. You think the act they put on when you come over for some family dinner is how it goes on for them every day?

Don't let emotions take over. Just be physical with them and see them as entertainers. Not entertainers for sex, but also for just hanging out. Enjoy them, but them as candy that you eventually eat and it comes out of your rear end!

There was a time when I believed every word of what you wrote, but it is also possible to accuse this way of thinking as based on fear. Almost all of the great seducers, pick-up artists, don juans, etc, are the product of a badly broken heart, something they vowed never to have again. By having your attitude, you are protecting yourself from getting hurt again by avoiding the risk of exposing vulnerability. I am the same in many ways. I'm just expressing another side to the story.

I don't want to think that way, I don't want to be a cold person who sees women not as human beings but sexual entertainment. I'm sick of it. I have slept with many women and discarded them like trash. Afterwards, there is no pleasure, no sense of satisfaction, it is all empty, empty, empty.

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

There was a time when I believed every word of what you wrote, but it is also possible to accuse this way of thinking as based on fear. Almost all of the great seducers, pick-up artists, don juans, etc, are the product of a badly broken heart, something they vowed never to have again. By having your attitude, you are protecting yourself from getting hurt again by avoiding the risk of exposing vulnerability. I am the same in many ways. I'm just expressing another side to the story.

I don't want to think that way, I don't want to be a cold person who sees women not as human beings but sexual entertainment. I'm sick of it. I have slept with many women and discarded them like trash. Afterwards, there is no pleasure, no sense of satisfaction, it is all empty, empty, empty.

But think again then.... does caring for someone mean f*cking them?
See, you could screw random women and care for ONE. Your girl started developing a relationship with another guy - THAT HURTS. But what if she had sex with 100 random guys just for fun? Thats STDs and AIDs - turns off.

But what if she just had a guy or two who came over and screwed her for fun?

She could still care about you and only you.

I saw couples who were together for a long time and OFTEN they just get bored and tired of the same SEX partner.

Wives who truly and honestly love their husbands allow their husbands to go screw around a bit and husbands allow their wives to do the same.

But that kind of understanding comes after a long marriage.


So, sex and caring for someone is not the same thing. No matter how you put it, no matter how think it, it is absolutely true that human being are meant to CHANGE sexual partners once in a while.

[PhoenixBuff]

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

"I hope you shave your pussy this time so it doesn't cause trouble for my nose".

Ouch dude, that must have hurt.

Forget her man - you'll be better off in the long run.

Best of luck!

[niospecv]

Sorry to hear that. Here is your solution.

www.nomarriage.com

Good luck.

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

But think again then.... does caring for someone mean f*cking them?
See, you could screw random women and care for ONE. Your girl started developing a relationship with another guy - THAT HURTS. But what if she had sex with 100 random guys just for fun? Thats STDs and AIDs - turns off.

But what if she just had a guy or two who came over and screwed her for fun?

She could still care about you and only you.

I saw couples who were together for a long time and OFTEN they just get bored and tired of the same SEX partner.

Wives who truly and honestly love their husbands allow their husbands to go screw around a bit and husbands allow their wives to do the same.

But that kind of understanding comes after a long marriage.


So, sex and caring for someone is not the same thing. No matter how you put it, no matter how think it, it is absolutely true that human being are meant to CHANGE sexual partners once in a while.

I think you are right, in general, in the majority of cases. But still, I hate it. I hate infidelity and sly deception, mostly because I have those traits myself and I hate them in myself.

I think the love emotion evolved for pair bonding - so that two people can stay together and raise a family, where a man will divert his resources to one woman and the children, rather than spreading his seed everywhere. But yeah, I agree, I think it is human nature to want variance in sexual partners. I hate it.

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by The_Reaper

I think you are right, in general, in the majority of cases. But still, I hate it. I hate infidelity and sly deception, mostly because I have those traits myself and I hate them in myself.

I think the love emotion evolved for pair bonding - so that two people can stay together and raise a family, where a man will divert his resources to one woman and the children, rather than spreading his seed everywhere. But yeah, I agree, I think it is human nature to want variance in sexual partners. I hate it.

But you can love one and screw others on the side... Semen isn't the only resource...

Its JUST sex. Screwing someone doesn't make him or her special.

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

But you can love one and screw others on the side... Semen isn't the only resource...

Its JUST sex. Screwing someone doesn't make him or her special.

When it comes to unfaithful women, it's NOT "just sex".

Our evolutionary reason for existing - to survive and procreate, is underminded. A woman who sleeps around may become pregnant with another man's child, leaving a provider to care for someone else's genes. That's why the male emotion of sexual jealousy evolved, to prevent his woman from having sex with another man.

I wonder though, can you really love someone and have guilt-free casual sex on the side. I don't know.

[Below 30]

How the hell does MonarchX only have 4 rep power?

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...61&postcount=9


The fact is, no matter if it's long or short distance, relationships are fake. They were made up by society and they will never last. People who don't understand this, say that people like me must have been hurt. You know what? I've had a girlfriend once in high school for 1 week and I ended it because I felt locked down and never did that again. I just wanted to be me and play arcade games and feel up random girls on the side. No hearts broken, no girls cheated on me.

Girls can't cheat on you if you're not in a relationship, get it? When you just chill with girls and do as MonarchX mentioned, use them as a sexual release, as that girl will have you as a sexual release, you will live a more stress free. I have no idea how it personally feels to have a girl play me to the degree in this thread, because I don't get so emotinally involved with girls, ever. This is why you'll never see my call females all sorts of derogatory names, I control the situation at all times.

If you don't get this in your head now, you'll be hating girls for the rest of your life. You're the one who's handing your soul to girls for them to destroy, it's your fault. Calling them hoes isn't going to make you innocent. Start being a man of nature and control your relations with females and stop being so emo. Only then will you live a more stress free like I do. Then instead of threads like this, you'll be giving advice.

-30-

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by Below 30

How the hell does MonarchX only have 4 rep power?

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...61&postcount=9


The fact is, no matter if it's long or short distance, relationships are fake. They were made up by society and they will never last. People who don't understand this, say that people like me must have been hurt. You know what? I've had a girlfriend once in high school for 1 week and I ended it because I felt locked down and never did that again. I just wanted to be me and play arcade games and feel up random girls on the side. No hearts broken, no girls cheated on me.

Girls can't cheat on you if you're not in a relationship, get it? When you just chill with girls and do as MonarchX mentioned, use them as a sexual release, as that girl will have you as a sexual release, you will live a more stress free. I have no idea how it personally feels to have a girl play me to the degree in this thread, because I don't get so emotinally involved with girls, ever. This is why you'll never see my call females all sorts of derogatory names, I control the situation at all times.

If you don't get this in your head now, you'll be hating girls for the rest of your life. You're the one who's handing your soul to girls for them to destroy, it's your fault. Calling them hoes isn't going to make you innocent. Start being a man of nature and control your relations with females and stop being so emo. Only then will you live a more stress free like I do. Then instead of threads like this, you'll be giving advice.

-30-

Good post. But I need to comment: you say you live a more "stress free" life, but have you considered that "stress free" and deep, satisfying happiness are two completely different things? For some couples, this is a reality. Relationships are full of bull**** and potential stress and pain, but you can't just they are all fake.

The seducer's paradox is that he can discard women so easily and not care. To experience love, you have to accept and risk all the **** that comes with it, this is experiencing life, the good and the bad, not a lobotomy-like use of women as cum dumsters.

I know I sound emo. I'm not. I've done the whole seduction thing, I have been emotionally cold/dead and used women for sex and broke their hearts. I was, and still am, bitter about many things in my life and used sex as a way of expressing myself. But I know there is more to it.

[Below 30]

Why do I say relationships are fake? Because the laws of nature did not specifiy for a man and woman to stay together for life. Society made it up, like Santa Claus is made up.

Why do you think that GOD's bond over a marriage can be broken by a local judge? Because it's fake. Fake in this context means that it's something nature did not specify. Look outside at the squirrels and other animals for proof. "To experience love, you have to accept and risk all the **** that comes with it, this is experiencing life, the good and the bad, not a lobotomy-like use of women as cum dumsters."

Why does anyone have to "risk all the ****"? No! I'm not accepting it and who's going to make me? Hence the stress free life I live. You believe that you must accept "all the ****", then you shall forever have girls crush you into little pieces while I bounce from girl to girl when each one gets tired of me. I will only accept the finer points of relations with girls and let other dudes put up with the trash. Ironically, it seems like I'm missing out on companionship and love etc, yet I don't feel the need to call girls derogatory names etc.

I'm not centering you out over the comments about girls, I'm mean any guy who call girls names becauset they were hurt by them. It just shows that because I use females as nature intended me to, I don't get heavily emotionally involved. When any negatives arise I just leave, easy. Now I don't have to rant about an entire gender being this and that, because of one girl.

Let's remember though, my words go against the grain and never will the majority of men get it. But for the few that do, they will wish they had the knowledge from the start when they see the benefits. But if it doesn't sound logical enough, just keep doing what you're doing and put up with the "all the ****". We all got to do what makes us happy-30-

[The_Reaper]

Originally Posted by Below 30

Why do I say relationships are fake? Because the laws of nature did not specifiy for a man and woman to stay together for life. Society made it up, like Santa Claus is made up.

Why do you think that GOD's bond over a marriage can be broken by a local judge? Because it's fake. Fake in this context means that it's something nature did not specify. Look outside at the squirrels and other animals for proof. "To experience love, you have to accept and risk all the **** that comes with it, this is experiencing life, the good and the bad, not a lobotomy-like use of women as cum dumsters."

Why does anyone have to "risk all the ****"? No! I'm not accepting it and who's going to make me? Hence the stress free life I live. You believe that you must accept "all the ****", then you shall forever have girls crush you into little pieces while I bounce from girl to girl when each one gets tired of me. I will only accept the finer points of relations with girls and let other dudes put up with the trash. Ironically, it seems like I'm missing out on companionship and love etc, yet I don't feel the need to call girls derogatory names etc.

I'm not centering you out over the comments about girls, I'm mean any guy who call girls names becauset they were hurt by them. It just shows that because I use females as nature intended me to, I don't get heavily emotionally involved. When any negatives arise I just leave, easy. Now I don't have to rant about an entire gender being this and that, because of one girl.

Let's remember though, my words go against the grain and never will the majority of men get it. But for the few that do, they will wish they had the knowledge from the start when they see the benefits. But if it doesn't sound logical enough, just keep doing what you're doing and put up with the "all the ****". We all got to do what makes us happy-30-

You're right about nature. Even supposedly pair-bonding species contain philandering on both sides (not in every case though). You are doing exactly what natural selection has designed you to do- spread your jizz around.

One day I would like to settle down with a woman I care about and have a family, but before that happens I have a lot of screwing around to do...

I just don't want to live this lifestyle forever. We are not bound by our natures, and just because something is "natural" is doesn't make it right.

[mcxk]

i lol'ed

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by Below 30

How the hell does MonarchX only have 4 rep power?

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showpo...61&postcount=9


The fact is, no matter if it's long or short distance, relationships are fake. They were made up by society and they will never last. People who don't understand this, say that people like me must have been hurt. You know what? I've had a girlfriend once in high school for 1 week and I ended it because I felt locked down and never did that again. I just wanted to be me and play arcade games and feel up random girls on the side. No hearts broken, no girls cheated on me.

Girls can't cheat on you if you're not in a relationship, get it? When you just chill with girls and do as MonarchX mentioned, use them as a sexual release, as that girl will have you as a sexual release, you will live a more stress free. I have no idea how it personally feels to have a girl play me to the degree in this thread, because I don't get so emotinally involved with girls, ever. This is why you'll never see my call females all sorts of derogatory names, I control the situation at all times.

If you don't get this in your head now, you'll be hating girls for the rest of your life. You're the one who's handing your soul to girls for them to destroy, it's your fault. Calling them hoes isn't going to make you innocent. Start being a man of nature and control your relations with females and stop being so emo. Only then will you live a more stress free like I do. Then instead of threads like this, you'll be giving advice.

-30-

I so agree. Its our nature that tells us that if a girl doesn't want to stay with you = there is something wrong with you. NO, its just we need to change partners!

Why did people come with DATING, and RELATIONSHIPS words? What freaking nonsense is this? Our feelings are not bound by words, ut by chemical reactions.

One day I can truly love her and have great sex and next day I don't even want to think of her!

Its all about availability and capability to score with women you want.

They say they want family and relationships but I am 100% sure that if you were a magician and could summon ANY woman you want at any point in your life then you would never ever ever settle.

Even women admit that if they were such magicians - they wouldn't even get married but change partners several times a day!

__________________________________________________ ________________
What I also realized is that you cannot be cold... you have to feel and have positive emotions! Its part of that "chemistry". If you remain as cold as some machine then no girl will ever go with you... you will just hate them and won't connect on ANY level.

You just have to know when to STOP that damn thing where you get too close! Don't get attached!

I know I can't NOT FEEL for a girl even if its a night stand!

Nothing lasts forever. Realize that life is not stable. How many people do you know who planned something out and it happened exactly like they wanted?

Even when it comes down to BABIES it is absolutely best to just support your women and that baby financially and let them do most of the raising. DON'T LIVE with them. You cannot argue with a woman because she will win even if she is wrong, so just stay away.

Not only that but women will LOVE YOU! See, the only experience they will get with you is a GOOD one! They won't remember you for your scandals and other crap, but for those good times together and that great sex!

And I am sure that if you seriously and calmly explained that to a girl then she would understand and try to keep herself away from you for it to stay that way. Don't let get close and don't get close yourself. Any dependency is bad.

[karzma]

dude she wasn't cheating on your she was just lonely. whenever i have long distance relationship with a chick i tell her to cheat on me as much as possible and im gonna do the same thing and if she cant handle it then forget it then

well im a swinger so meh

[MonarchX]

Originally Posted by karzma

dude she wasn't cheating on your she was just lonely. whenever i have long distance relationship with a chick i tell her to cheat on me as much as possible and im gonna do the same thing and if she cant handle it then forget it then

well im a swinger so meh

Good. Thats how its done.

[TDE]

howd u find out she cheateD?

[Stabby18]

ive been in a long distance rel for almost 3 years. i think LUCK plays a big part of that, in finding the right person

[aeons]

Originally Posted by Stabby18

ive been in a long distance rel for almost 3 years. i think LUCK plays a big part of that, in finding the right person

My 30 minute distance relationship has been over a year so far, so i guess luck with the right person?

[awesomebill61]

Originally Posted by MonarchX

No matter how you put it, no matter how think it, it is absolutely true that human being are meant to CHANGE sexual partners once in a while.

Darwinian Evolution:
we have evolved as males into a species that desires to have mutliple sexual partners. Why? our ancestors desired mutliple sexual partners, and therefore produced more offspring than those who did not desire multiple sexual partners, and the genes to desire multiple sexual partners have been passed on and eliminated the genes not to.
its survival of the fittest, where the fittest are not necissarily the biggest or the strongest, but rather those who produce the most offspring.

[Stabby18]

Originally Posted by aeons

My 30 minute distance relationship has been over a year so far, so i guess luck with the right person?

Yeah. That person has to be loyal and trust that you are their future.

MATURITY is the best trait a woman can ever have. Without it, forget it.

[Leon Phelps]

That's poop.