How to tell a girl you love her.(serious)

Tyler09 · 05-29-2007, 10:11 AM

ok background:

I have known this girl since 6th grade(junior in HS now). She was one of my really close friends but we got in a fight in 8th grade. Didn't talk to her until 9th and she was changed(she turned all goth looking and ****). Then we became friends again. Soon she moved 2 hrs away. She got a BF and they have been going out 10 months now. She said she kinda loves him but its like convenient to have a boyfriend to make friends over there or some ****. We still talk on the phone sometimes and she stays in touch with her old friends here. And they have told me that she like loves me.

Anyways last night I found out that she is still a virgin and she wants to keep that way and not let her BF f*ck her.

Anyways, I am madly in love with this chick and i have been for some time now. Last night her friend told me that she said jokingly that she wanted to like marry me. I will have to tell her I love her before her friends tell her since i told them all last night.

How do I go about doing this? (I have to do it on the phone)

Cliffs:

Love a girl
she lives far
I have to call her and tell her that i love her
how?

The-Stig · 05-29-2007, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

...she stays in touch with her old friends here. And they have told me that she like loves me...

You sure that's not the reason you're in love with her?

getbig3193 · 05-29-2007, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

I will have to tell her I love her before her friends tell her since i told them all last night.

too late

FunkDaddy · 05-29-2007, 10:13 AM

"I have to call her and tell her I love her"

So...call her and tell her you love her? I think you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak bro, but if you feel like you gotta do it, just do it. Don't make a big production out of it.

JewMasterKrunk · 05-29-2007, 10:13 AM

o jeez.

getbig3193 · 05-29-2007, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JewMasterKrunk

o jeez.

lol

he is 16

Tyler09 · 05-29-2007, 10:19 AM

I didn't know she liked me more than a friend until last night. I have loved her for like 3 years now.

I don't really care if her friends tell her. I just think it's time i tell her how I feel.

How do i do it?

1earedELEPHANT · 05-29-2007, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

I didn't know she liked me more than a friend until last night. I have loved her for like 3 years now.

I don't really care if her friends tell her. I just think it's time i tell her how I feel.

How do i do it?

*ring ring*

*some dude's voice* "hello?"

You: "err....yea is (chicks name) there?"

Dude: "yea one sec"

*bed sheets rustle*quiet voices*

Chick: "hello?"

You: "hi its (your name), I can't hold out any longer...even though I've never made a move on you...I've loved you every day for the last 3 years, your all I think about, dream about, and whenever the wind blows from the west its says..(her name) (her name)......I'm not promising its gonna be easy, but hell I made you a mix tape!

Chick: "Doug is that you?"

You: "no its (your name)"

Chick: "oh...hi,"

*Voices in the background*

Chick: "hey listen, I gotta go something came up...but thanks for calling, I'm gonna be real busy the next couple weeks, but I got your number on my caller ID so I'll get back to you!"
*click*

You: (her name)?....

You: (her name)?....

You: "I can hear you breathing!!"

End

But seriously....if she lives far away, don't bother dude..your 16..you had 3 years to make a move..she loves you like a brother.

Ex-Terminator · 05-29-2007, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

I didn't know she liked me more than a friend until last night. I have loved her for like 3 years now.

Warning: She said this in a joking kind of way. That doesn't mean that there isn't some sincerity to it, but I wouldn't take that to heart too much. Not only is she young, but even adult women sometimes say things like that in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Warning #2: You are about to make a HUGE mistake. Considering her age and the fact that everything is just casual (i.e., you're "friends"), you DO NOT want to tell her that you love her, unless she someday says this to you first.

If you tell her this, it will have one result: you'll scare her away. Seriously. A girl will actually find it "creepy" if you do this. She'll feel smothered and choked.

I'm going to let you in on a secret here. A woman wants to fall in love with you first and wonder if you feel the same way. They like drama, suspense, and ceremony. If you come right out and tell her how you feel, you're robbing her of that suspense. Trust me on this. She'll feel like someone just popped her balloon with a needle. To her, this would be akin to having you and her stop by the Justice of the Peace on your lunch hour one day to get married!

So you need to take it slow and easy. Spend time with her, but DO NOT ever let her know about your "agenda" in doing so, unless you want to send her running to the hills. You can't make her have feelings for you, but you CAN destroy that potential by jumping the gun too early.

Good luck.

azne · 05-29-2007, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1earedELEPHANT

*ring ring*

*some dude's voice* "hello?"

You: "err....yea is (chicks name) there?"

Dude: "yea one sec"

*bed sheets rustle*quiet voices*

Chick: "hello?"

You: "hi its (your name), I can't hold out any longer...even though I've never made a move on you...I've loved you every day for the last 3 years, your all I think about, dream about, and whenever the wind blows from the west its says..(her name) (her name)......I'm not promising its gonna be easy, but hell I made you a mix tape!

Chick: "Doug is that you?"

You: "no its (your name)"

Chick: "oh...hi,"

*Voices in the background*

Chick: "hey listen, I gotta go something came up...but thanks for calling, I'm gonna be real busy the next couple weeks, but I got your number on my caller ID so I'll get back to you!"
*click*

You: (her name)?....

You: (her name)?....

You: "I can hear you breathing!!"

End

But seriously....if she lives far away, don't bother dude..your 16..you had 3 years to make a move..she loves you like a brother.

x2 + LOTS OF GIRLS play mind games and ****., how do u know her friends arent just ****ing around with ur mind? u'd end up looking stupid and gettng ur heart broken. gl tho

shivsean · 05-29-2007, 10:50 AM

Call her up and make sure she is in a quit place and can talk uninterrupted with her. Say - "do you have a few minutes to talk privately"

Now, since this is going to go on over the phone, I think the best way to get to the punch line - telling her I love you - is to give her some insight into your thoughts and how you came to where you are now - being on the phone and wanting to tell her that you love her.

Recount some good times you have had together, fun things you did, places you have gone, etc. Tell her you have been thinking about her and the fact that you miss her. At this point, you can tell her. I think the simple approach is the best. Just say "I have come to the realization that I love you"

Now, you can wait for a few seconds and see if she says anything. If she remains quite, don't think that she does not feel the same. She may need some time to digest what you told her before she responds.

The down side of this conversation is the possibility that she does not feel the same way toward you as you feel toward her. Be prepared for that. It sucks going out on a limb, letting it all hang out, and not having the feelings reciprocated.

Good luck bro!

Tyler09 · 05-29-2007, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Terminator

Warning: She said this in a joking kind of way. That doesn't mean that there isn't some sincerity to it, but I wouldn't take that to heart too much. Not only is she young, but even adult women sometimes say things like that in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Warning #2: You are about to make a HUGE mistake. Considering her age and the fact that everything is just casual (i.e., you're "friends"), you DO NOT want to tell her that you love her, unless she someday says this to you first.

If you tell her this, it will have one result: you'll scare her away. Seriously. A girl will actually find it "creepy" if you do this. She'll feel smothered and choked.

I'm going to let you in on a secret here. A woman wants to fall in love with you first and wonder if you feel the same way. They like drama, suspense, and ceremony. If you come right out and tell her how you feel, you're robbing her of that suspense. Trust me on this. She'll feel like someone just popped her balloon with a needle. To her, this would be akin to having you and her stop by the Justice of the Peace on your lunch hour one day to get married!

So you need to take it slow and easy. Spend time with her, but DO NOT ever let her know about your "agenda" in doing so, unless you want to send her running to the hills. You can't make her have feelings for you, but you CAN destroy that potential by jumping the gun too early.

Good luck.

The thing is, I'm not jumping the gun. She may think its creepy but oh well. I've known her forever. i don't care if i get my heart broken. Doesn't she need to know?? I can't get over her so I think it would be best to just get it over with and get my heart broken.

getbig3193 · 05-29-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

The thing is, I'm not jumping the gun. She may think its creepy but oh well. I've known her forever. i don't care if i get my heart broken. Doesn't she need to know?? I can't get over her so I think it would be best to just get it over with and get my heart broken.

do it

You live and learn man

I hope for the best for you though

Tyler09 · 05-29-2007, 10:55 AM

BTW when she's on aim she'll say like "i love you" when she says bye and **** like that. Also, when shes drunk she'll text me like "i love you so much". I believe that your true personality come out when you drink but whatever.

Ex-Terminator · 05-29-2007, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

The thing is, I'm not jumping the gun. She may think its creepy but oh well. I've known her forever. i don't care if i get my heart broken. Doesn't she need to know?? I can't get over her so I think it would be best to just get it over with and get my heart broken.

Suit yourself. I would MUCH rather this work out for you than to be able to come on here and tell you, "I told you so." I'm not into gloating.

If you can handle the heartbreak if it happens, then go for it. I wish you the best. What I suspect you're going to hear is, "I love you as a FRIEND."

kcomico · 05-29-2007, 02:18 PM

puppy love = not love but your 16 so whatever advice we give you, you'll probably not take anyways :P

Scarface2883 · 05-29-2007, 05:23 PM

Op, you should never tell you a girl you love them first. They have to tell you that first.

If you tell her you love her, that is gonna be so weird, and she is just gonna wanna be your friend.

SHOW her you love her with ACTIONS, not words.

FYI, this is not love. I know it seems like it, but it's not. You are just obsessed with her.

Obsession does not equal love.

Wendel_Clark_17 · 05-29-2007, 05:25 PM

Use reverse psychology and tell her every time you see you pray for blindness.

Ripped_carnt · 05-29-2007, 05:47 PM

Uh oh

Below 30 · 05-29-2007, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shivsean

Call her up and make sure she is in a quit place and can talk uninterrupted with her. Say - "do you have a few minutes to talk privately"

Now, since this is going to go on over the phone, I think the best way to get to the punch line - telling her I love you - is to give her some insight into your thoughts and how you came to where you are now - being on the phone and wanting to tell her that you love her.

Recount some good times you have had together, fun things you did, places you have gone, etc. Tell her you have been thinking about her and the fact that you miss her. At this point, you can tell her. I think the simple approach is the best. Just say "I have come to the realization that I love you"

Now, you can wait for a few seconds and see if she says anything. If she remains quite, don't think that she does not feel the same. She may need some time to digest what you told her before she responds.

The down side of this conversation is the possibility that she does not feel the same way toward you as you feel toward her. Be prepared for that. It sucks going out on a limb, letting it all hang out, and not having the feelings reciprocated.

Good luck bro!

This is perfectly posted, follow this model for delivering the message. Atleast deliver the message nicely so when it fails, you know it wasn't your delivery that was at fault.

*shivsean- your post is good, I'm using it as an example because it won't work for a 16 year old though. But it will be good for him to learn the hard way*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

The thing is, I'm not jumping the gun. She may think its creepy but oh well. I've known her forever. i don't care if i get my heart broken. Doesn't she need to know?? I can't get over her so I think it would be best to just get it over with and get my heart broken.

Nobody cares when they have no experience because they don't know what it will feel like. It's like kids saying they don't care about being drug addicts, until they are 25 and in and out of therapy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by getbig3193

do it

You live and learn man

I hope for the best for you though

The Hard way...yes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Terminator

Suit yourself. I would MUCH rather this work out for you than to be able to come on here and tell you, "I told you so." I'm not into gloating.

If you can handle the heartbreak if it happens, then go for it. I wish you the best. What I suspect you're going to hear is, "I love you as a FRIEND."

No need to add to an Ex-Terminator post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcomico

puppy love = not love but your 16 so whatever advice we give you, you'll probably not take anyways :P

Word!

-30-

Brianw · 05-29-2007, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler09

BTW when she's on aim she'll say like "i love you" when she says bye and **** like that. Also, when shes drunk she'll text me like "i love you so much". I believe that your true personality come out when you drink but whatever.

lol your a idiot, when a girl says xo when you leave do you think they atucally want to kiss and hug you? No moron, it just means your friends, its a confort thing. When shes saying she loves you it means she cares about you..........IN A FRIENDSHIP way probally. Well this is what i learned from the same experience as you, what do you have to lose? Nothing, i was in the same situation as you but i didn't "love" the girl lmfao, i just liked her

jessy44 · 05-29-2007, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by getbig3193

too late

for real

user89489489438943 · 05-29-2007, 06:49 PM

ur 16.

naturalyfit · 05-29-2007, 07:11 PM

your 16 man, you don't even know what love is. wait until your older and a little wiser before you go and start telling girls you "love" them. Remember girls will come and girls will go, but iron will always be there.

Ex-Terminator · 05-29-2007, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naturalyfit

your 16 man, you don't even know what love is. wait until your older and a little wiser before you go and start telling girls you "love" them. Remember girls will come and girls will go, but iron will always be there.

Nice effort, but you can't tell him that. When you're 16, you think that one girl is the only one you'll ever have feelings for.

Been there, done that.

DonMegaR · 05-30-2007, 09:00 AM

your 16 let me give you a metaphor for your love...

your love is monopoly money.

figure it out

MMA_Dreamer · 05-30-2007, 09:04 AM

I know how to tell a girl you love her.

Say "I love you."

Tyler09 · 05-30-2007, 09:32 AM

Ok, she didn't answer her phone last night so I made a long ass message on myspace(Ya i know how lame) I'm still waiting on what she's going to say. I pretty much have a 97.99% chance of getting completely shot down and laughed at. But ya know, i guess I will have to learn myself, the hard way. If any of you want me to post the message and response I will.

NeloAngelo · 05-30-2007, 09:34 AM

My answer is don't do it. But oh well you're f*cked now.

Enjoy the ****ty high school love/drama/soapopera ****, I know I don't miss it.

*VOMIT*

Dubl10 · 05-30-2007, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ex-Terminator

Warning: She said this in a joking kind of way. That doesn't mean that there isn't some sincerity to it, but I wouldn't take that to heart too much. Not only is she young, but even adult women sometimes say things like that in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.

Warning #2: You are about to make a HUGE mistake. Considering her age and the fact that everything is just casual (i.e., you're "friends"), you DO NOT want to tell her that you love her, unless she someday says this to you first.

If you tell her this, it will have one result: you'll scare her away. Seriously. A girl will actually find it "creepy" if you do this. She'll feel smothered and choked.

I'm going to let you in on a secret here. A woman wants to fall in love with you first and wonder if you feel the same way. They like drama, suspense, and ceremony. If you come right out and tell her how you feel, you're robbing her of that suspense. Trust me on this. She'll feel like someone just popped her balloon with a needle. To her, this would be akin to having you and her stop by the Justice of the Peace on your lunch hour one day to get married!

So you need to take it slow and easy. Spend time with her, but DO NOT ever let her know about your "agenda" in doing so, unless you want to send her running to the hills. You can't make her have feelings for you, but you CAN destroy that potential by jumping the gun too early.

Good luck.

okay, i'm confused on a lot of things. Obviously, if you come right out and say I love you, yes that can pop the balloon for her like you say.

But what I don't get is this - people say, you want to tell her you love her now, you blew it, you waited 3 years to make your move and now you want to do this?

Okay, so when a guy makes his move, he already right there is pretty much showing "interest" in her.

I feel like, no matter what i do, even showing an interest like making moves, showing her how you feel instead of telling her is practically the same thing, isn't it?

I mean, if i'm calling a girl up, trying to kiss her, talking dating with her, wanting to hang out with her, etc... I feel like, that alone is also popping the balloon.

i'm very confused on whats crossing the line when dealing with a girl in regard to giving her certainty on how I feel. How far do I go in my actions, words, etc.. to NOT pop the ballon????

For example, and I hope to get answer to this - a chick was asking me, If i was going to one night stand her. I told her, no, i actually care about you.

Am i done?

Did i just screw up everything cause I told her that I actually cared about her????

She was telling me about how most guys just want to fuk her and that's all. Asked if I was going to one night stand her, i told her no i actually care about her. the next day she was like... sorry i was so blunt, tends to weed out the guys who just want to fuk me, etc..

she is going through a lot right now, (car broke down, needs to finish college, has to work a lot, really independent and needs her space, etc.. which is why i don't bother her all that much, I probably call her once or twice a month and we hang out once or twice a month) she is not really wanting a relationship she was saying, etc.. and at the same time, she was saying... "i've been really hurt in the past and when I get these emotions, i get scared and pull back. which is why i'm flakey sometimes with you etc... she was like... "i haven't figured you out yet" and after I told her, i don't need a relationship or anything, you need to do what is BEST for you, etc.. she was like.. "uh, your saying all the right things!"

then later on that night we were all over each other after we got done talking, kissing etc.. she kissed me bye, etc.. i haven't seen her or heard from her now in a few weeks, but that's cool, cause i'm not going to pressure her to get together with me.

but again, my biggest question is this. Did i ruin things with her by telling her that i cared about her????

i feel i did ruin things and nothing will ever come out of this, because i feel she knows that i'm interested in her and want her. I feel she knows I like her a lot and want to be with her = therefore she doens't like me anymore. I dont' get this!!

I feel, she has to know that I care about her, that I want to fuk her, date her, be in a relationship with her, i dont' know how she can't know this and because of this, I wont' get her and that i failed. I feel because of this, were done! Even though she still calls me here and there and she initially was interested in me to begin with, i feel were done, why I don't know. I don't know how to balance, MAKING MOVES, being an aggressive male without showing them your interested in them or that you care a little bit, etc.. Anything i do I feel backfires on me and ruins it.

by the way i'm 25, she is 24.