<b><i>MALE MASTURBATION</b></i>
Answer the Bone-A-Phone
Assault on a Friendly Weapon
Backstroke Roulette
Baiting your Hook
Batting Practice
Bash The Candle
Beat Off
Beating the Bait
Beating the Bishop
Beating the Dummy
Beating the Snake
Beating the Stick
Beating your Meat
Being your Own Best Friend
Bleed the Weed
Blow Your Load
Bludgeon the Beefsteak
Boppin' your Bologna
Box the Jesuit
Buckin' it
Buffing the Banana
Buffing the Wood
Burping the Worm
Butter Your Corn
Calling Down For More Mayo
Calling All Cum
Carrying Weight
Cast Off
Changing your Oil
Charm the Cobra
Choaking Charlie 'till he Throws Up
Choke the Serriff and Wait for the Posse to Come
Choke Kojak
Jack Hammer
Jack Off
Jackin'
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Jag Off
J Arthur Rank
Jazz Yourself
Jelly Roll
Jenny Macarthy Jaunt
Jerk Off
Jerk the Gherkin
Jerk the Johnson
Jiggle the Jewelry
Jimmying your Joey
Killing the Beast
Knock the Top Off
Knuckle Shuffle on your Piss Pump
Launching the Hand Shuttle
Leakin' the Main Drain
Loping your Mule
Making the Bald Guy Puke
Making Nut Butter
Making Yogurt
Mangle the Midget
Manipulate the Mango
<b><i>FEMALE MASTURBATION</b></i>
A Night in With the Girls
Airing the Orchid
Auditioning the Finger Puppets
Beat the Beaver
Beating Around the Bush
Brushing The Beaver
Buff the Weasle
Carpet Bumping
Cat Got Tongue
Checking for Squirrels
Clam Bake for One
Cleaning your Fingers
Clitters
Coming Into Your Own
Countering ****s
Creamin'
Coming Into Your Own
**** Cuddling
Dialing the Rotary Phone
Digging a Trench
Doing your Nails
Dousing the Digits
Drilling For Oil
Engaging in Safe Sex
Erasing the Problem
Fanning the Fur
Feeding the Bearded Clam
Feeding your Slot
Fiddling the Bean
Fingerbating
Fingerpainting
Finger Blasting
Flickin' the Bean
Flit your Clit
****ing Without Complications
Gagging the Clam
Gagging the Lips of Love
Genital Stimulation via Phalangetic Motion
Get a Date with Slick Mittens
Get a Lube Job
Get To Know Yourself
Get a Stinky Pinky
Going Mining
Groping the Grotto
Greasing your Hips
Grissle Rub
Gusset Typing
Having Sex With Someone you Love
Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
Hitchhiking South
Hitchhiking to Heaven
Hitchhiking Under the Big Top
Jillin' Off
Jocelyn Eldering
Let the Fingers do the Walkin'
Levy Break Limbo
Making Soup
Manual Override
Muffin Buffin'
Nulling the Void
Paddling the Pink Canoe
Pampering the Pussy
Parting the Red Sea
Pearl Fishing
Pet the Petunia
Pet the Pussy Cat
Polishing the Nugget
Polishing the Peanut
Polishing the Pearl
Play Poker
Play the Clitar
Play Couch Hockey for One
Play the Silent Trumbone
Playing With Her Pineapple
Playing with Mrs. Palmer's Five Daughters
Playing With the Man in the Boat
Pushing the Button
Pussy Soccer
Riding the Unicycle
Rolling the Dough
Rubbin' the Nubbin
Rubbing the Donut
Rubbing the Red Pussycat
Scoring the Hoop
Soaking the Whisker Biscuit
Spelunking
Spearing the Bearded Clam
Squeeze the Peach
Strumming
Strumming the Banjo
Surfing the Channel
Teasing the Kitty
Teasing the Tuna Taco
Testing the Plumbing
The Virgin's Release
Tickling the Taco
Tiptoe Through the TwoLips
Toggling the Bit
Tossing Pink Salad
Three Point Shot
Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
Two Finger Taco Tango
Washing your Fingers
yea, most of them suck lol, but there are some funny ones in there. for the complete list, check out:
http://nowscape.com/mast/slang_mast.htm