Rate my cold approach

[doug83]

Cold approach on a girl this morning. What do you guys think? Any suggestions for improvement?

Setting - I saw a hot blonde get on my train in the morning for the past few days. She wears some pretty sexy open toed shoes and tight black dress pants. Also, she's usually wearing glasses which I think are sexy as hell...more girls need to ditch the contacts more often. The train is still pretty empty at this point and she takes the empty seat behind me each day. I decide to try to get an opener in and try to get her to sit with me next time:

--walking on exit platform--
Me: Excuse Me. (She turns)
Me: I've seen you quite a bit but I don't know your name yet....
Her: I'm <girlname>
Me: Well <girlname> it looks like you're on the same train as me in the morning...you should sit with me and be insurance.
Her: Insurance? What do you mean?
Me: Well if you're next to me, I don't have to worry about some fat sweaty rude weirdo taking the spot and bumping into me on the ride.
Her: *laughs with shocked look* You mean like the creep that sits next to me each day?
Me: Exactly...that guy was giving me some strange looks!
Her: I took a nap and woke up one time to him staring at me! Who does that?
Me: Well I don't have any stalkers like that, but I occasionally get the 350lb sweaty guy with a newspaper that can't stay on his side of the seat..
Her: Gross, these trains get hot enough in the summer without someone like that next to you!
Me: I know...thats why I think you'd be much better to sit next to.
Her: *giggle* You're right, thats a good idea! So whats your name?
Me: Doug
Her: *smiles* I'll look for you tomorrow then!
Me: Cool. So what are you commuting up for? Work or still in school?
Her: Work...I work over at <blah blah blah>. What about you?
Me: *avoid question to keep mystery* Wait <blah company>?, so where is your building at?
Her: Oh, its north on <blah blah blah> by <blah blah blah>
Me: Well thats not too far, but a decent walk. Thats good though...having to walk helps keep you in good shape.
Her: Yes thats a huge plus side, but only when the weather is nice. Walking in the winter time out here is crazy!
Me: I know! I never thought I'd own earmuffs as a man, but I finally broke down on the -28 degree wind chill days and got some.
Her: *laughs* I've got some really cute fuzzy pink ones! *looks up at sky* Today looks like rain though...and I forgot my umbrella!

==at this point we are about to go separate ways==

Me: Well we're going opposite directions up here.....so I'll see you tomorrow morning.
Her: Yeah I'll look for you then...it was nice meeting you.
Me: Nice meeting you also...bye!
Her: *smile* bye!

I don't think an attempted # close would have been appropriate here as we've already setup the meeting place for next encounter. We'll get about 30 minutes together each morning, which will be plenty of time to try to build some attraction and wait until she seems like she's looking for an *excuse* to give me the digits. What do you think?

[pineapple_guy]

Originally Posted by doug83

Cold approach on a girl this morning. What do you guys think? Any suggestions for improvement?

Setting - I saw a hot blonde get on my train in the morning for the past few days. She wears some pretty sexy open toed shoes and tight black dress pants. Also, she's usually wearing glasses which I think are sexy as hell...more girls need to ditch the contacts more often. The train is still pretty empty at this point and she takes the empty seat behind me each day. I decide to try to get an opener in and try to get her to sit with me next time:

--walking on exit platform--
Me: Excuse Me. (She turns)
Me: I've seen you quite a bit but I don't know your name yet....
Her: I'm <girlname>
Me: Well <girlname> it looks like you're on the same train as me in the morning...you should sit with me and be insurance.
Her: Insurance? What do you mean?
Me: Well if you're next to me, I don't have to worry about some fat sweaty rude weirdo taking the spot and bumping into me on the ride.
Her: *laughs with shocked look* You mean like the creep that sits next to me each day?
Me: Exactly...that guy was giving me some strange looks!
Her: I took a nap and woke up one time to him staring at me! Who does that?
Me: Well I don't have any stalkers like that, but I occasionally get the 350lb sweaty guy with a newspaper that can't stay on his side of the seat..
Her: Gross, these trains get hot enough in the summer without someone like that next to you!
Me: I know...thats why I think you'd be much better to sit next to.
Her: *giggle* You're right, thats a good idea! So whats your name?
Me: Doug
Her: *smiles* I'll look for you tomorrow then!
Me: Cool. So what are you commuting up for? Work or still in school?
Her: Work...I work over at <blah blah blah>. What about you?
Me: *avoid question to keep mystery* Wait <blah company>?, so where is your building at?
Her: Oh, its north on <blah blah blah> by <blah blah blah>
Me: Well thats not too far, but a decent walk. Thats good though...having to walk helps keep you in good shape.
Her: Yes thats a huge plus side, but only when the weather is nice. Walking in the winter time out here is crazy!
Me: I know! I never thought I'd own earmuffs as a man, but I finally broke down on the -28 degree wind chill days and got some.
Her: *laughs* I've got some really cute fuzzy pink ones! *looks up at sky* Today looks like rain though...and I forgot my umbrella!

==at this point we are about to go separate ways==

Me: Well we're going opposite directions up here.....so I'll see you tomorrow morning.
Her: Yeah I'll look for you then...it was nice meeting you.
Me: Nice meeting you also...bye!
Her: *smile* bye!

I don't think an attempted # close would have been appropriate here as we've already setup the meeting place for next encounter. We'll get about 30 minutes together each morning, which will be plenty of time to try to build some attraction and wait until she seems like she's looking for an *excuse* to give me the digits. What do you think?

You have a pretty good memory if you can remember everything that was said. O_O

But that seemed like a perfect approach, she likes you so get her number next time.

[BVAV]

Personally I can't stand strangers who start talking to me in public.

[doug83]

You think I should go after the # next time? I'm sure thats the typical situation. Any merit to playing it slow...making her wonder why I haven't asked? Help play the anticipation game maybe....gauge her interest and see if she ends up making an excuse to just give me it? I'm already hanging out with 3 other girls regularly and don't need to push this one along at any hurried pace.

[doug83]

Originally Posted by BVAV

Personally I can't stand strangers who start talking to me in public.

You don't sound very friendly! What about attractive strangers?

[younggunz20]

Originally Posted by BVAV

Personally I can't stand strangers who start talking to me in public.

I hate people like you. When people say stupid **** like this I always ask, "How did you get any friends in the first place, they were all strangers at one point in your life, correct?"

[Fendi]

Doug, are you just trying to score with this girl?

[doug83]

Originally Posted by younggunz20

When people say stupid **** like this I always ask, "How did you get any friends in the first place, they were all strangers at one point in your life, correct?"

Exactly! And for my purposes, I don't really care what people think. I used to be very shy and afraid to talk to people in general, let alone walking up to a girl I was interested in. My cold approaches are an exercise to make me better at conversation and boost my confidence while meeting new people. It feels great to get the positive responses back....and I'm strong enough to laugh at the occasional crash and burns!

[doug83]

Originally Posted by Fendi

Doug, are you just trying to score with this girl?

Would I? Hell yes, she's gorgeous. Is that all I'm after. No.

At the very least she will be a good friend to talk to in the morning on the train ride. Pushing for more might land some invites to parties/events with her circle of friends and lead to meeting her (hopefully cute) friends. And if she turns out to be cool and wow's me over the coming days, a relationship isn't out of the question either. She seems to be educated and carries herself with a type of smoothness and class which I like.....I can't stand trying to date tacky girls! And working downtown with me she's likely got similar ambitious professional goals. We'll have to see how things play out over the coming days to know exactly where I want to go with it.

[Fendi]

At least you are learning, which is good. It isn't a secret, maybe it is over looked, but looks aren't everything to getting women interested in you. Sure it helps, but what is key is energy, if you don't have any, and they can't see it, you have little to no chance at getting them no matter what you say to them or how you look.

It is harder with strangers, i don't cold approach as you put it, but when i am in surroundings with people I don?t know, i try to be the centre of attention (that doesn?t mean being an idiot and loud), confident. This is what gets people wanting to talk to you, them seeing you have energy about you.

Good luck on your new found confidence.

[Russ-T]

Dude w/e you want from this of w/e you tried to do you just succeeded. I mean you turned you intiated, she took what you were giving and went along with it. Props to you on taking that step and also noticing her before lookin at you and everything. Whevere it goes from here keep us updated but i mean you seem in the clear, very well intiated.

[doug83]

Originally Posted by Fendi

At least you are learning, which is good. It isn't a secret, maybe it is over looked, but looks aren't everything to getting women interested in you. Sure it helps, but what is key is energy, if you don't have any, and they can't see it, you have little to no chance at getting them no matter what you say to them or how you look.

It is harder with strangers, i don't cold approach as you put it, but when i am in surroundings with people I don?t know, i try to be the centre of attention (that doesn?t mean being an idiot and loud), confident. This is what gets people wanting to talk to you, them seeing you have energy about you.

Good luck on your new found confidence.

Thanks Fendi....you're exactly right about the learning...thats the most important part of it!

A few weeks ago was one of my worst approaches. I made a joke opener to a younger (probably about 20ish) looking girl with very very light blonde hair. She laughed and smiled and then began to say something and just FROZE. She sat there with her mouth open for a few seconds and turned bright red, then just looked at the ground. Now the old me would have thought I did something wrong or whatever. I think she was just an extreme case of shyness though...and if not, who cares what she thinks right? Can't let yourself get down because ONE girl doesn't want you! Next!

[Constantina]

I liked it.

[fiXXXerMetallic]

That went very well!

[JohnnyDestroyer]

You met her, and you acted like a person, one that might be interesting, and thats good enough for now..


Next time, JUST sit with her and bull****, be nice...flirt, but nothing too forward, you dont wanna let your interest in her be fully known.


have pleasentries...ask her if she's seen some movie you really like...blah blah...Even though ushers music is gay I think he dances well...blah blah...

then...the NEXT next time you sit with...still, **** that number..

"Hey, I know a really good Italian spot, would you like to get some dinner with me?"


**** THAT NUMBER...go strait for the date...If she says yes, she'll give you her number just to straiten out plans after work.

asking for a number too soon is like asking for sex too soon....but for somereason they dont think the same thing about a date.

If she's interested, she'll say yes.....be pressing if she's dismissive, "I have some plans.."

"well, how about saturday?"

if she keeps dodging...well...getting her number wouldn't have mattered that much anyway.


Good approach though...you actually talked to her...LIKE A PERSON...have you done this before?

[YUL]

Originally Posted by BVAV

Personally I can't stand strangers who start talking to me in public.

x2. especially male strangers trying to get "cute" with a female.

your use of words like "fat", "weirdo" and "stalker" as an attempt to engage in an initial converation would definitely raise alarm bells, just saying.

[doug83]

Originally Posted by YUL

x2. especially male strangers trying to get "cute" with a female.

your use of words like "fat", "weirdo" and "stalker" as an attempt to engage in an initial converation would definitely raise alarm bells, just saying.

Normally I would agree but in the context I think it fit very well. I could tell I was simply saying what was already on her mind. I knew she wasn't happy to have that guy sitting next to her all the time, especially when he could have just sat in an open seat alone. To give you more background, this is a early morning train in to work and me and this girl are the some of the only 'younger' people on there - the rest are mostly 40+ and out of shape. Me and this girl are both early 20's and in good shape, so thats a basic bonding just by having that in common. She seemed very receptive and friendly the whole time - not at all offended that I was 'trying to be cute' with her.

[YUL]

d'you guys take the same train home after work?

[doug83]

Originally Posted by JohnnyDestroyer

Good approach though...you actually talked to her...LIKE A PERSON...have you done this before?

Yeah, I've been trying to talk to any female I find attractive and within my age group...for about the past 5 months. Even if its just casual friendly conversation, it still is 'experience talking to hot girls' and making me better socially. I've gotten pretty fearless because of it. Last Saturday I did a cold approach on a girl at a club who was sitting with what looked like her boyfriend and group of other friends, including a couple of girls that were a bit hotter than her. I thought I recognized her from her job as a waitress so I walked right up:

Me: Tara, right? (all i remembered was seeing a T on her name tag, lol)
Her: Tina, but you were close!
Me: Yeah, T and 4 letters, I almost had it!
Her: So whats yours, and where do I know you from?
Me: I'm Doug, and I think I saw you at work before....at <restaurant>
Her: Yeah thats me! When were you in there? Did you leave me your phone number?
Me: Do I seem like a guy who would give my number out without getting one back?
Her: *laughing* No I guess not, but what do you mean?
Me: Have you ever called any of those guys back? Or ever talked to them again?
Her: Well, no.
Me: Exactly. (long solid eye contact and she smiled back BIG)
Her: Well you do look familiar though. Where did you go to school?
Me: I graduated from <xxxx>
Her: Me too and then I went to <blah> and now I'm a teacher at <blah> and I am doing <blah>

She basically goes into a rant here telling me all about herself with me saying nothing. At one point her cute drunk friend walks up between us and proclaims "very nice, how much?" in a Borat voice but I'm not sure if that was directed at her, or me, both, or neither, LOL.

We talked for a few minutes longer while the boyfriend sat there alone and pouting and then I finally cut her off and said "well its been nice talking to you but I should probably get back to my friends, they look lonely over there!" No attempted # close because the boyfriend was literally right behind her. This will likely not go anywhere unless they break up but for me it was a complete learning experience - I pulled off a cold approach in front of boyfriend and group of friends and it went well! I wasn't even nervous at all. All of my friends that saw me do it were like "what the hell has gotten into you lately?" This type of thing is great for testing and developing confidence. What do I have to lose? If anything, its some groundwork for the future....if she's at the club again single one day, she'll have much less fear to come say hi! And the hot friends seemed upset that I approached and talked to someone that *wasnt* them!

[XiZBiT]

Good start, the rest should come easy provided she actually sits next to you.

[MusclesMarinara]

Practice makes perfect. It's better to try and fail than to not try and bitch about how you can't pick up chicks.

[doug83]

Originally Posted by YUL

d'you guys take the same train home after work?

No, which is good because I already have 'friends' on my homeward trains. I catch one of two trains on most normal days and share a seat with either a hot brunette 21 year old dental assistant or a really tall hot blonde 23 year old financial analyst. There was also a cute 22 year old architect intern I met but she wont talk to me anymore...her boyfriend (which she never mentioned) surprised her at the train station one day trying to take her to dinner and FLIPPED OUT on her when he saw her walking and talking to me. Ooooops. Not my fault though!

[latspread]

noodz or negz.. your call

[zac2booya]

Sounds good man...You did awesome. I really need to muster up the courage and just start doing approaches. It would be really beneficial. Good work though!

[EZ-Bar]

Originally Posted by BVAV

Personally I can't stand strangers who start talking to me in public.

wow how the hell did you ever make friends?

*edit

and great approaches (i read them both) Although the second one in this thread was way better they are both good.

There are little things wrong with the first one..generally you dont want to say words like stalker in the approach, but I mean thats very little and you did it in a good context.

good job and good luck