This was doomed from the beginning...I think I'm gonna end it. (Serious)

Gibblets · 05-03-2007, 09:04 PM

I think I'm gonna end it with the girl I've been seeing over the past month or so.

We really hit it off on our first few dates and she started growing on me fast. I guess she had alot of those comforting qualities my ex did, and I fell into her real quick. She was surprisingly affectionate and would always initate our dates as well as physical contact, etc. A few weeks into it she had me sleeping over at her place, the second time being just this past week where she started crying when we got intimate because she felt vulnerable. At first I thought I had a sweet and innocent girl on my hands, but a week ago she told me that she still misses her ex-bf of 3 years...whom she still talks to...and then it all started becoming clear.

Reason why I am posting this is because it came to a boiling point tonight. Originally we had plans for her to stay over my place tomorrow night so we could take a day trip hiking on Saturday. Well, she calls me tonight to cancel saying that she was gonna go home (out of state) to see her parents cuz she was feeling wierd. She refused to talk about what was bothering her. She said she could do Saturday/Sunday instead...but I'd have to pick her up at 2am on Saturday cuz she wanted to go clubbing with her friends.

I feel like I'm being played around with. The whole picking her up thing really cleared my vision...I've been blinded. I mean, here we have a girl who has obvious issues concerning her ex, and she's using me for a rebound. We started messing around and sleeping over too soon and it's just doomed. I was thinking today that I don't even know her- and we spend most of our dates now sleeping over and having meaningless pillow talk. It's like building a house without a foundation...I don't know who she is, but yet we are so affectionate to one another...I just don't feel right about it.

I'm thinking of either telling her all this or just making excuses and letting it die on its own. I was thinking deep tonight and realized that I don't need this ****. It's too much drama and I can meet many other girls who have less problems. I have my own life, and this girl doesn't have to be in it at all.

Thoughts?

corn_dog · 05-03-2007, 09:16 PM

Get rid of her, sounds kinda like a girl I dated...

exbunobooga · 05-03-2007, 09:18 PM

similar with me at the moment.

ive been hooking up with this chick, pretty full on sleeping over all the time. Way too fast and we have both came out of relationships. She called me by her ex's name a couple of times on accident, so its obvious she still thinks about him. Me on the otherhand am over my ex and just want to play around.

We havnt had a serious convo at all! its strange, we hook up and have chit chat but thats it, never had a convo with this girl.

I want to end it but stay friends (Fuuk buddies), you should probly do the same.

Below 30 · 05-03-2007, 09:18 PM

Come on now....Was I telling you or not? (no I told you so)

The PUA reputation is generally corrupted by alot of fake money grabbing losers. But at it's true root, it's designed to prevent you from getting played like this from any girl.

It teaches you to see the signs of a fool-ass female from 3 blocks away. When she cried in bed and if she turns her head on the first date, when you try to kiss her etc, it's all signs of low sexual interest. I don't care if she saves whales or helps feed children in 3rd world countries, they can all play these games. I just hope you get this and really take it seriously.

She played you mang, so don't even talk to her. Don't call her and get rid of all her contact info.

-30-

SpyWizard · 05-03-2007, 09:18 PM

time for the freaky sex..

sorry about that man, it just wasn't time for the 2 of you..

prep120 · 05-03-2007, 09:32 PM

if you want to try and make it work then talk to her about all of this.

otherwise just start ignoring her and after a week or 2 she will come crawling back and at least u will get a bit more sex out of her

Pharos · 05-03-2007, 09:32 PM

Definitely move on. It's honestly not worth the emotional strain - you're young, and there are plenty of other women out there with no baggage to deal with.

Gibblets · 05-03-2007, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exbunobooga

similar with me at the moment.

ive been hooking up with this chick, pretty full on sleeping over all the time. Way too fast and we have both came out of relationships. She called me by her ex's name a couple of times on accident, so its obvious she still thinks about him. Me on the otherhand am over my ex and just want to play around.

We havnt had a serious convo at all! its strange, we hook up and have chit chat but thats it, never had a convo with this girl.

I want to end it but stay friends (Fuuk buddies), you should probly do the same.

Pretty much sums it up right there.

Fearless_ · 05-03-2007, 09:41 PM

Plenty of fish in the sea. If I remember correctly you just started your career, barely starting the good life dude. Next!

Gibblets · 05-03-2007, 09:48 PM

Yeah I'm gonna set her straight. **** her...****ing asking me to drive 45 minutes into the city to pick her sweaty ass up from the club and driving her another 45 minutes back to my house. **** that **** to hell.

I'm gonna tell her to go back with her ex. I'm gonna say it right to her face and be like "we should stop hanging out".

She does have a collar on me...I mean, normally I like to post about random **** only cuz I have nothing better to do but I've been reading my posts about this one girl and I've realized that I've been mind ****ed.

Maybe there is a microscopic chance that she really is just deeply hurt and struggling to move on...maybe. Telling her to go back to her ex will allow me to find out if this may be true...he reaction will say it all- if she was playing me all along, or she genuinely likes me and wants to try.

Either way, I'm done. I'm chillin with my other girl next weekend anyway.

Gibblets · 05-03-2007, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fearless_

Plenty of fish in the sea. If I remember correctly you just started your career, barely starting the good life dude. Next!

Haha yeah you bet! I've got the financial analyst job, a new bmw and a good body. **** it...this girl would be lucky to have me.

exbunobooga · 05-03-2007, 09:58 PM

its the rebound man. she's with ya to get over her ex cos she wants to feel 'wanted'. definately dont go pick her up, lie and say your busy and cant make it. then the next day tell her you dont think you should do this anymore. besides, she will probly hook up with some dude at the clubs

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 05:49 AM

Slept on this one a bit and realized that I'm not gonna say a thing. I'm just gonna back off a bit from her advances and watch what happens. There's no point in me flat out ending it cuz I could be losing out on pussy and free food. Since I don't want a relationship anyway, who cares? I've got nothing to lose. Plus, I don't think the man should EVER ask to define anything...that's the role of the female.

trainTilfailure · 05-04-2007, 05:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gibblets

I think I'm gonna end it with the girl I've been seeing over the past month or so.

We really hit it off on our first few dates and she started growing on me fast. I guess she had alot of those comforting qualities my ex did, and I fell into her real quick. She was surprisingly affectionate and would always initate our dates as well as physical contact, etc. A few weeks into it she had me sleeping over at her place, the second time being just this past week where she started crying when we got intimate because she felt vulnerable. At first I thought I had a sweet and innocent girl on my hands, but a week ago she told me that she still misses her ex-bf of 3 years...whom she still talks to...and then it all started becoming clear.

Reason why I am posting this is because it came to a boiling point tonight. Originally we had plans for her to stay over my place tomorrow night so we could take a day trip hiking on Saturday. Well, she calls me tonight to cancel saying that she was gonna go home (out of state) to see her parents cuz she was feeling wierd. She refused to talk about what was bothering her. She said she could do Saturday/Sunday instead...but I'd have to pick her up at 2am on Saturday cuz she wanted to go clubbing with her friends.

I feel like I'm being played around with. The whole picking her up thing really cleared my vision...I've been blinded. I mean, here we have a girl who has obvious issues concerning her ex, and she's using me for a rebound. We started messing around and sleeping over too soon and it's just doomed. I was thinking today that I don't even know her- and we spend most of our dates now sleeping over and having meaningless pillow talk. It's like building a house without a foundation...I don't know who she is, but yet we are so affectionate to one another...I just don't feel right about it.

I'm thinking of either telling her all this or just making excuses and letting it die on its own. I was thinking deep tonight and realized that I don't need this ****. It's too much drama and I can meet many other girls who have less problems. I have my own life, and this girl doesn't have to be in it at all.

Thoughts?

end it.

or do that

"Slept on this one a bit and realized that I'm not gonna say a thing. I'm just gonna back off a bit from her advances and watch what happens. There's no point in me flat out ending it cuz I could be losing out on pussy and free food. Since I don't want a relationship anyway, who cares? I've got nothing to lose. Plus, I don't think the man should EVER ask to define anything...that's the role of the female."

Kirby28 · 05-04-2007, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gibblets

Slept on this one a bit and realized that I'm not gonna say a thing. I'm just gonna back off a bit from her advances and watch what happens. There's no point in me flat out ending it cuz I could be losing out on pussy and free food. Since I don't want a relationship anyway, who cares? I've got nothing to lose. Plus, I don't think the man should EVER ask to define anything...that's the role of the female.

That's what I would do.. just stop initiating contact with her.

Maverick77 · 05-04-2007, 07:01 AM

I think your very naive in your thinking of how relationships work. Its like you expect a relationship to be absolutely perfect and have to put minimal work into them, almost like a fairy tale. This conclusion is mostly based on your ex of six years who you broke up with.

I remember you said how you didnt treat her right when you we're going out, but then when you broke up you were upset for months and killed your chances with her. You thought you were going to be able to win her back like a movie.

Real relationships are not perfect and you are going to have to put in work to get past your partners faults. If your not ready to do that its fine but dont expect Cinderella to show up on your door step. How hard have you worked for that new job or BMW?

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maverick77

I think your very naive in your thinking of how relationships work. Its like you expect a relationship to be absolutely perfect and have to put minimal work into them, almost like a fairy tale. This conclusion is mostly based on your ex of six years who you broke up with.

I remember you said how you didnt treat her right when you we're going out, but then when you broke up you were upset for months and killed your chances with her. You thought you were going to be able to win her back like a movie.

Real relationships are not perfect and you are going to have to put in work to get past your partners faults. If your not ready to do that its fine but dont expect Cinderella to show up on your door step. How hard have you worked for that new job or BMW?

I've worked very hard for my job and car...the job was years in the making if you consider my education and almost another year of job hunting and grueling interviews. The car is the fruit of my labors at the job, just a piece of the successful life I am trying to build for myself.

I am a bit naive but I don't know how I can change it. You are right- I almost do expect to stumble upon a Cinderella and live happily ever after as a perfect match...slowly I'm beginning to see that this will never be, because people always have different intentions and secondary motives.

As for this girl, I don't want to put in any work because I'm not sure if I want something more with her. I might, but that's only if we can get to know each other slowly and let things develop the way they should. But this can't happen if she still has hang ups about her ex and if we keep rushing it.

Best thing I can do for now is just be patient and observe her actions. Time will tell what she's up to. I re-read all the advice I've been given and realized that I do have the upper hand here- I've got nothing to lose because I'm not looking for a relationship and I have other girls. Why this girl gets me all nuts is beyond me but I'm gonna stop.

I don't know what I was thinking when I considered talking to her about all of this. That would have basically placed my balls in her hand for her to lead me wherever she wanted to. I'm gonna start thinking about this like a business deal...not to reveal my true intentions and always make the other party think you've got nothing to lose and that you don't need them.

KennyK · 05-04-2007, 08:28 AM

It is of my expert opinion that you two are perfect for each other.

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KennyK

It is of my expert opinion that you two are perfect for each other.

lol.

Neo1 · 05-04-2007, 09:06 AM

I say you next her dude sounds like she has alot of emotional baggage and @ the same time it seems like she is using u.

I would just give her space and let her come to me and I would confront her about your feelings why keep playing this guessing game and all that stuff you no.

But it sounds like to me like she needs some time to handle what she is goin through and you being and tryin to push a relatioship of whatever sort is probably not good in the long run.

82nd_Fister · 05-04-2007, 09:09 AM

Dude, If you're going to stop seeing her... PIITB FTW first. And give her a Donkey punch while you're at it.

I should have done this with my Ex, but I didn't think about it. Do it for me

phateless · 05-04-2007, 09:20 AM

Gibblets - I'be been going through something similar, as you may remember from my posts in your other threads, and I've decided that this is just the dating process. One of the reason I always wanted to be single was to experiment, meet new people, try new things, learn about myself, and that's what's happening. I always knew I would get hurt in the process. Back off, protect yourself, and chalk it up to learning if it doesn't work out. That's what I'm trying to do. We'll compare notes later.

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phateless

Gibblets - I'be been going through something similar, as you may remember from my posts in your other threads, and I've decided that this is just the dating process. One of the reason I always wanted to be single was to experiment, meet new people, try new things, learn about myself, and that's what's happening. I always knew I would get hurt in the process. Back off, protect yourself, and chalk it up to learning if it doesn't work out. That's what I'm trying to do. We'll compare notes later.

haha I should make a journal about all my dating adventures...I seem to have a new story everyday!

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 10:27 AM

I'll keep this thread bumped so we can all learn how to handle crazy girls like this one.

So I just wrote her an e-mail since we're both at work saying that if she wants to hang out she should take the commuter train into my town and that I'll drive her back and stay over her place Sunday night. I told her that I've got plans with my friend Kristina on Saturday night so I won't be there to pick her ass up.

The key to all this is that when I drop her off on Sunday, I'll be like "I'm not sleeping over...change of plans...I'll call you". This way she gets screwed out of using me as her personal cuddle toy and emo rag and I gain back some control.

Josh350 · 05-04-2007, 11:15 AM

Nice bro! this can either end it or make her want you even more... or make her cry. :/ may be she's going through a tuff time in life? hmm... she must of mentioned it during your pillow talks... i mean i guess she only wants a friend... sooo, may be just be friends?

girls are confusing :/ you think you know a girl... then they start acting weird... -_-

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gibblets

I'll keep this thread bumped so we can all learn how to handle crazy girls like this one.

So I just wrote her an e-mail since we're both at work saying that if she wants to hang out she should take the commuter train into my town and that I'll drive her back and stay over her place Sunday night. I told her that I've got plans with my friend Kristina on Saturday night so I won't be there to pick her ass up.

The key to all this is that when I drop her off on Sunday, I'll be like "I'm not sleeping over...change of plans...I'll call you". This way she gets screwed out of using me as her personal cuddle toy and emo rag and I gain back some control.

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 11:18 AM

Right. I think the best way to back off and have her chase me is by stopping the sleep overs. Hell, I'm not even getting any sex! While she gets all the cuddling and emotional sex she wants! The sleep overs are her way of using me.

Ending them is the only way to find out what her real intentions are. I've been a fool to think I'd be getting laid...looks like the pussy was just bait.

YUL · 05-04-2007, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gibblets

...So I just wrote her an e-mail...

Nooooo!!!! Cease and desist all contact!! In this situation, no puss is better than some because you're just trying to get back at her.

Expend your energies on more worthwhile ventures my friend and you will be greatly rewarded.

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YUL

Nooooo!!!! Cease and desist all contact!! In this situation, no puss is better than some because you're just trying to get back at her.

Expend your energies on more worthwhile ventures my friend and you will be greatly rewarded.

Yes, but I'm learning how to fight.

Below 30 · 05-04-2007, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YUL

Nooooo!!!! Cease and desist all contact!! In this situation, no puss is better than some because you're just trying to get back at her.

Expend your energies on more worthwhile ventures my friend and you will be greatly rewarded.

I hear this.

The relationship has already gone past it's expiry date and there is no chance in hell for it and never was. It's all just a waste of time and she already did so much damage to you, that you'd have to spend the next two months just to match that in revenge. Just let her float away from your mind.

-30-

Gibblets · 05-04-2007, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Below 30

I hear this.

The relationship has already gone past it's expiry date and there is no chance in hell for it and never was. It's all just a waste of time and she already did so much damage to you, that you'd have to spend the next two months just to match that in revenge. Just let her float away from your mind.

-30-

Heh, Below 30...I think I can make a comeback and do some damage though just for fun.

I've already managed to convince her to take the train in to see me...that's a 2 hour trip for her and it'll cost her 15 bucks or so. She's coming to see me on my terms on Sunday, and asked if I could drive her back so I could sleep over. I'm gonna say yes, but when time comes to drive her back I'll give her the "we shouldn't sleep over anymore" talk and have her hop right back on the train.

She asked me what I was doing tomorrow night and I told her I was hanging out with my friend Kristina...you guys should have heard how long of a pause there was in the convo lol...after a minute she finally says "oh...cool..."

I think I can handle this. Personally, I still think she's a good person...I tend to believe everyone is good until proven otherwise, but the sending her back home by herself will answer it all.