you wouldnt believe what happened to me last night

[Triple_B]

So yesterday was icky at work with the baord down and all... so i was doing work and when i actually do work i get thirsty for happy hour. So I skipped the gym and went to the bar.

My friends were s'posed to meet me there but they hadnt showed up for quite a bit so i was slamming down 1/2 price shots by myself for a good half hour and get pretty friggin tipsy. So I see this really hot girl with a couple of her friends and I ask bartender man to give them a round on me.

so he does and they get their drinks when they're ready and one of the friends, no thte hot one, raises her drink towards me ina thank u type of thingy, so i raised my heinken pint back. So none of them came over like i was hoping. but then the good thing happened. I saw hot girl walk away. I figure shes goin to take a leak so TG decides me needs to take a leak too. Im done in the mens room first and i kinda do a slow walk back to the bar and i here her come out and i turn and look at her and she smiles. so i smile and say hey. she says thanks for the drink and why was i so nice to do that.

I tell her i think she is cute, but didnt want her friends to get too jealous. shes like cool. we keep talkin on way back to the bar. she asks me to sit with them so i comply.

time out... let me describe said hot girl... because normally i wouldnt post one of my personal stories like this, but htis girl was so slamming... i have to..

about 5'6 or 5'7, huge, i mean huge tits in a tight shirt... at least double d's... fat ass perfectly bubble shapes in her tight jeans.... tiny waist, brown hair, big almondy brown eyes. mega cute/sexy/hot... she had it all..

so anyways, we all seem kinda drunk and i say what ya'll gonna do the rest of the night? they say not much, but that we should all go to another bar... so im like yea cool.... and i ask hot girl, who's name is vanessa by the way, to come in my car and she says yea. her friends go and i tell vanessa hang on, i need to pay me tab. so friends leave and i pay me tab. then before we leave i kiss vanessa before we reach the door. she was down. we started hooking up hardcore right there... not too many people around i had to get a grope on her tits... she was like "not here"... i said "bathroom?" she said "yea"... i was like ****in true!!!

so SHE takes ME by the hand and pulls me towards womens room... we go go straight into a stall... i pull her shirt up and lift her bra over her tits... man they were nice.... i started sucking on them and she started undoing my pants... she took my **** out, got on her knees and started sucking it... i was like oh ****in ****! Im lookin at this hot girl go up and down on my ****, starign at her tits... she gives good deep head, lots of spit... i was ocnsidering finishing on her face... but decided i want to **** this chick. I tell her stand up and i get her out of her pants... pussy was realy nice... not super freshly shaven, but within the last day or two... i start to go down and she thinks shes goona get licked... but i dont... i just like to see up close. I pull her thick lips apart and look in her pink hole. then i ask her to turn around... i pull her big ass cheeks apart and look at her tight little *******... man was it sexy! so then she says "**** me now"... so i spit in my hand and rub it on her pussy and bend her over... get this.. she puts her hands on the back of the toilet to hold herself while i **** her really hard.. i banging her good and shes wimpering, trying not to be too loud just in case... im squeezing her ass cheeks while i plow her down...

I feel like im gonna cum.. but its only like 2 mins... and i want her to cum first so she'll wanna do this again... cuz i know shes a candidate for piitb if i could get her in a room with a bed and all that nice ****...

so i tell her hold on... I ask her if she has to pee and she looks at me weird... so im just like... well do you?? and she's like yea i kinda do actually... so i told her i'd like ot watch that and then start ****ing again... so she seems shy about it.. but i tell it would turn me on... so she says "will you jerk off in front of my face while i do it? I was like "yea of course"

so she sits and it takes a lil bit to start, but then she starts peeing... Im watchin, and jerkin my ****... i slap her in the face with my dick a lil and she doesnt mind... she even takes it in her mouth and sucks while the last of her pee trickles out... i tell her how hot that was and bend her back over... she says "that was really hot acutally" ... i start plowing her and tell her i want her to cum.. she tells me she came before and is real close again... im like jackpot! so im gettin ready to cum myself... then i hear a large crashing noise outside... i mean real loud... shes like what was that? im like i dont know, hold on... so i figure we better figure out what is going on... so i pump hard and start to cum right inside her... huge load im sure... felt amazing... i tell her what i did and she says she'll get it out and shes on pill, no worries..

then there is another crash sound outside and the bathroom wall cracks... the foundation started to shake.... i was thinkin this must be an earthquake coming in different spurts... i pull her out of the stall and book for the door... i open up the doo and there is fire everywhere... I hear screaming and then i saw what was oging on... a giant robot foot stomped right down in front of me... i looked up and there was a 15 foot robot with blaster arms standing there... he pointed a blaster at vanessa and lasered her hot ass in half... i book ed for the exit.. then realized there was about 5 robots in the bar trashing it... i made it to the door running over some dead bodies... and there were some survivors outside... but i looked and the giant robots were everywhere! Cops were firing at them, some mexicans were throwing bottles at them... but it was no use... i jumped into a dumpster and hid out...

for about a 1/2 hour i layed in there until i heard heavy artilary... the us army was here in tanks. I jumped out and ran over to a tank and a soldier looked and said "your a good man, son" and threw me a rocket launcher... he said "you know what to do"... i started blasting rockets at the robot hitting them in the power-accelerators embedded under their chest plates... around 11 pm the last of the robots were destroyed. the town was in ruins, bodies everywhere... it stunk like month od hamburgers and diarrhea... The general gave me a medal and told me to get osme sleep cuz i'd have to go to work tomorrow. I slapped him a high five and drove home.

what a night.

[skippy]

I don't believe it.
I didn't read it, either.

[Death From Above]

Originally Posted by skippy

I don't believe it.
I didn't read it, either.

x2 however i didnt see any fresh prince of bel air in the ending...

[jtucker]

WTF. You don't expect us to actually READ all of that $hit do you?

[Triple_B]

Originally Posted by skippy

I don't believe it.
I didn't read it, either.

Come on skippy, i'd never lie to you

[terrann]

show us cliff notes. that looks like an essay

[agh2415]

5 star thread, would read again, would read to grandchildren

[titsMcGee]

would read again

[JuanDenver]

Would glance over again and request cliff notes.

[squat_ftw]

I read until the part where she was peeing while you whipped her in the face with your dick (serious)

[skippy]

Originally Posted by Triple_B

Come on skippy, i'd never lie to you

Look, I got it off the second page. That is all I can do.

[Phal4nx]

I want cliffs.

And then cliffs for the cliffs.

Throw an index and appendix in there too for good measure.

Do it now or negs.

[tinky_winky]

[Death From Above]

Originally Posted by skippy

Look, I got it off the second page. That is all I can do.

did you sea my txbull attack gif thread?

[marcFE]

lol


random?

[Strengthfeat.me]

I read the whole thing.

Good ****.

[STeGoR]

Rila, i believe you.

[shadowwalker021]

hmmm i call BS. even IF the robots didn't destroy your car at first, the robot-military war would've with tanks and rocket launchers. therefore you couldn't have drove home. case closed.

[Triple_B]

I got a letter from Mr. X and he said he kidnapped Sylvia because he couldnt take not beign with her.

I found out he was in a 5 story building so I went to get my babe back. I was on the groudn floor when a bunch of guys attacked me... they would just grab me and i felt myself losing energy... anyways, after kicking their asses I had to fight a guy with a stick. I kicked his ass and went onto the second floor.

second floor pottery started falling on my head and fire breathing dragons attacked me! I kicked a few of their asses, and then had to avoid wild cobras! then I had to fight a guy who thought he could beat me with his boomerang. I ducked and jumped over his boomerang and jumpkicked his face a few times. Then I went onto the thrid floor.

Third floor i get attacked by... ****in midgets! I kick a few midgets ass, plus a few other thugs... and then **** turned sour. this big black motha****er in a wifebeater started whipping my ass. It took all my mental power to conjur up the best of my kung-fu and I finally beat him. ontot he fourth floor.

fourth floor im attacked by a bunch of beetles. Big beetles the size of my head. i fought through them, beat up soem thugs, then more midgets attacked... jumping midgets! I beat htem up and came to this short david copperfield mother****er... wouldnt u know it.. mother****er rips his head off and throws it at me. then it regrew! I thought I was numbered... but when I was able to kick his head off, it didnt regrow. I was safe to go to the top floor.

5th floor... lots of thugs and jumping midgets, but TG handled his... and then I met up with my arch nemesis, Mr. X...
he was decked out in his black gi with his impressive red belt...

we fought hard, exhanging jabs, low kicks and jump kicks... i finally beat his ass and got to sylvia. I untied her form the chair and took her home.

[King Viscera]

so u went to a bar, got drunk, potentailly hooked up with a fat oger, then a giant robot was crushing and destroying everything around you....

Thankfully you typed 10 paragarphs about something that could be summed up into one sentence and still not be interesting.

[Triple_B]

Originally Posted by King Viscera

so u went to a bar, got drunk, potentailly hooked up with a fat oger, then a giant robot was crushing and destroying everything around you....

Thankfully you typed 10 paragarphs about something that could be summed up into one sentence and still not be interesting.

[agh2415]

[Jnes]

I started laughing when the robot lasered vanessa in half

[Kevie Kev]

.01/10

[setemstraight]

are you aware that yesterday was icky at work with the baord down and all... so i was doing work and when i actually do work i get thirsty for happy hour. So I skipped the gym and went to the bar.

My friends were s'posed to meet me there but they hadnt showed up for quite a bit so i was slamming down 1/2 price shots by myself for a good half hour and get pretty friggin tipsy. So I see this really hot girl with a couple of her friends and I ask bartender man to give them a round on me.

so he does and they get their drinks when they're ready and one of the friends, no thte hot one, raises her drink towards me ina thank u type of thingy, so i raised my heinken pint back. So none of them came over like i was hoping. but then the good thing happened. I saw hot girl walk away. I figure shes goin to take a leak so TG decides me needs to take a leak too. Im done in the mens room first and i kinda do a slow walk back to the bar and i here her come out and i turn and look at her and she smiles. so i smile and say hey. she says thanks for the drink and why was i so nice to do that.

I tell her i think she is cute, but didnt want her friends to get too jealous. shes like cool. we keep talkin on way back to the bar. she asks me to sit with them so i comply.

time out... let me describe said hot girl... because normally i wouldnt post one of my personal stories like this, but htis girl was so slamming... i have to..

about 5'6 or 5'7, huge, i mean huge tits in a tight shirt... at least double d's... fat ass perfectly bubble shapes in her tight jeans.... tiny waist, brown hair, big almondy brown eyes. mega cute/sexy/hot... she had it all..

so anyways, we all seem kinda drunk and i say what ya'll gonna do the rest of the night? they say not much, but that we should all go to another bar... so im like yea cool.... and i ask hot girl, who's name is vanessa by the way, to come in my car and she says yea. her friends go and i tell vanessa hang on, i need to pay me tab. so friends leave and i pay me tab. then before we leave i kiss vanessa before we reach the door. she was down. we started hooking up hardcore right there... not too many people around i had to get a grope on her tits... she was like "not here"... i said "bathroom?" she said "yea"... i was like ****in true!!!

so SHE takes ME by the hand and pulls me towards womens room... we go go straight into a stall... i pull her shirt up and lift her bra over her tits... man they were nice.... i started sucking on them and she started undoing my pants... she took my **** out, got on her knees and started sucking it... i was like oh ****in ****! Im lookin at this hot girl go up and down on my ****, starign at her tits... she gives good deep head, lots of spit... i was ocnsidering finishing on her face... but decided i want to **** this chick. I tell her stand up and i get her out of her pants... pussy was realy nice... not super freshly shaven, but within the last day or two... i start to go down and she thinks shes goona get licked... but i dont... i just like to see up close. I pull her thick lips apart and look in her pink hole. then i ask her to turn around... i pull her big ass cheeks apart and look at her tight little *******... man was it sexy! so then she says "**** me now"... so i spit in my hand and rub it on her pussy and bend her over... get this.. she puts her hands on the back of the toilet to hold herself while i **** her really hard.. i banging her good and shes wimpering, trying not to be too loud just in case... im squeezing her ass cheeks while i plow her down...

I feel like im gonna cum.. but its only like 2 mins... and i want her to cum first so she'll wanna do this again... cuz i know shes a candidate for piitb if i could get her in a room with a bed and all that nice ****...

so i tell her hold on... I ask her if she has to pee and she looks at me weird... so im just like... well do you?? and she's like yea i kinda do actually... so i told her i'd like ot watch that and then start ****ing again... so she seems shy about it.. but i tell it would turn me on... so she says "will you jerk off in front of my face while i do it? I was like "yea of course"

so she sits and it takes a lil bit to start, but then she starts peeing... Im watchin, and jerkin my ****... i slap her in the face with my dick a lil and she doesnt mind... she even takes it in her mouth and sucks while the last of her pee trickles out... i tell her how hot that was and bend her back over... she says "that was really hot acutally" ... i start plowing her and tell her i want her to cum.. she tells me she came before and is real close again... im like jackpot! so im gettin ready to cum myself... then i hear a large crashing noise outside... i mean real loud... shes like what was that? im like i dont know, hold on... so i figure we better figure out what is going on... so i pump hard and start to cum right inside her... huge load im sure... felt amazing... i tell her what i did and she says she'll get it out and shes on pill, no worries..

then there is another crash sound outside and the bathroom wall cracks... the foundation started to shake.... i was thinkin this must be an earthquake coming in different spurts... i pull her out of the stall and book for the door... i open up the doo and there is fire everywhere... I hear screaming and then i saw what was oging on... a giant robot foot stomped right down in front of me... i looked up and there was a 15 foot robot with blaster arms standing there... he pointed a blaster at vanessa and lasered her hot ass in half... i book ed for the exit.. then realized there was about 5 robots in the bar trashing it... i made it to the door running over some dead bodies... and there were some survivors outside... but i looked and the giant robots were everywhere! Cops were firing at them, some mexicans were throwing bottles at them... but it was no use... i jumped into a dumpster and hid out...

for about a 1/2 hour i layed in there until i heard heavy artilary... the us army was here in tanks. I jumped out and ran over to a tank and a soldier looked and said "your a good man, son" and threw me a rocket launcher... he said "you know what to do"... i started blasting rockets at the robot hitting them in the power-accelerators embedded under their chest plates... around 11 pm the last of the robots were destroyed. the town was in ruins, bodies everywhere... it stunk like month od hamburgers and diarrhea... The general gave me a medal and told me to get osme sleep cuz i'd have to go to work tomorrow. I slapped him a high five and drove home.

what a night.

[MrGuitar]

cliffs?

[Triple_B]

Originally Posted by Kevie Kev

.01/10

[Triple_B]

Originally Posted by STeGoR

Rila, i believe you.

Thx steg, but I'm Triple_B now

[Bob_Ross42]

Originally Posted by Triple_B

WOw i forced myself to read that whole thing now i feel sick

[giantsfanftw]

are you aware that yesterday was icky at work with the baord down and all... so i was doing work and when i actually do work i get thirsty for happy hour. So I skipped the gym and went to the bar.

My friends were s'posed to meet me there but they hadnt showed up for quite a bit so i was slamming down 1/2 price shots by myself for a good half hour and get pretty friggin tipsy. So I see this really hot girl with a couple of her friends and I ask bartender man to give them a round on me.

so he does and they get their drinks when they're ready and one of the friends, no thte hot one, raises her drink towards me ina thank u type of thingy, so i raised my heinken pint back. So none of them came over like i was hoping. but then the good thing happened. I saw hot girl walk away. I figure shes goin to take a leak so TG decides me needs to take a leak too. Im done in the mens room first and i kinda do a slow walk back to the bar and i here her come out and i turn and look at her and she smiles. so i smile and say hey. she says thanks for the drink and why was i so nice to do that.

I tell her i think she is cute, but didnt want her friends to get too jealous. shes like cool. we keep talkin on way back to the bar. she asks me to sit with them so i comply.

time out... let me describe said hot girl... because normally i wouldnt post one of my personal stories like this, but htis girl was so slamming... i have to..

about 5'6 or 5'7, huge, i mean huge tits in a tight shirt... at least double d's... fat ass perfectly bubble shapes in her tight jeans.... tiny waist, brown hair, big almondy brown eyes. mega cute/sexy/hot... she had it all..

so anyways, we all seem kinda drunk and i say what ya'll gonna do the rest of the night? they say not much, but that we should all go to another bar... so im like yea cool.... and i ask hot girl, who's name is vanessa by the way, to come in my car and she says yea. her friends go and i tell vanessa hang on, i need to pay me tab. so friends leave and i pay me tab. then before we leave i kiss vanessa before we reach the door. she was down. we started hooking up hardcore right there... not too many people around i had to get a grope on her tits... she was like "not here"... i said "bathroom?" she said "yea"... i was like ****in true!!!

so SHE takes ME by the hand and pulls me towards womens room... we go go straight into a stall... i pull her shirt up and lift her bra over her tits... man they were nice.... i started sucking on them and she started undoing my pants... she took my **** out, got on her knees and started sucking it... i was like oh ****in ****! Im lookin at this hot girl go up and down on my ****, starign at her tits... she gives good deep head, lots of spit... i was ocnsidering finishing on her face... but decided i want to **** this chick. I tell her stand up and i get her out of her pants... pussy was realy nice... not super freshly shaven, but within the last day or two... i start to go down and she thinks shes goona get licked... but i dont... i just like to see up close. I pull her thick lips apart and look in her pink hole. then i ask her to turn around... i pull her big ass cheeks apart and look at her tight little *******... man was it sexy! so then she says "**** me now"... so i spit in my hand and rub it on her pussy and bend her over... get this.. she puts her hands on the back of the toilet to hold herself while i **** her really hard.. i banging her good and shes wimpering, trying not to be too loud just in case... im squeezing her ass cheeks while i plow her down...

I feel like im gonna cum.. but its only like 2 mins... and i want her to cum first so she'll wanna do this again... cuz i know shes a candidate for piitb if i could get her in a room with a bed and all that nice ****...

so i tell her hold on... I ask her if she has to pee and she looks at me weird... so im just like... well do you?? and she's like yea i kinda do actually... so i told her i'd like ot watch that and then start ****ing again... so she seems shy about it.. but i tell it would turn me on... so she says "will you jerk off in front of my face while i do it? I was like "yea of course"

so she sits and it takes a lil bit to start, but then she starts peeing... Im watchin, and jerkin my ****... i slap her in the face with my dick a lil and she doesnt mind... she even takes it in her mouth and sucks while the last of her pee trickles out... i tell her how hot that was and bend her back over... she says "that was really hot acutally" ... i start plowing her and tell her i want her to cum.. she tells me she came before and is real close again... im like jackpot! so im gettin ready to cum myself... then i hear a large crashing noise outside... i mean real loud... shes like what was that? im like i dont know, hold on... so i figure we better figure out what is going on... so i pump hard and start to cum right inside her... huge load im sure... felt amazing... i tell her what i did and she says she'll get it out and shes on pill, no worries..

then there is another crash sound outside and the bathroom wall cracks... the foundation started to shake.... i was thinkin this must be an earthquake coming in different spurts... i pull her out of the stall and book for the door... i open up the doo and there is fire everywhere... I hear screaming and then i saw what was oging on... a giant robot foot stomped right down in front of me... i looked up and there was a 15 foot robot with blaster arms standing there... he pointed a blaster at vanessa and lasered her hot ass in half... i book ed for the exit.. then realized there was about 5 robots in the bar trashing it... i made it to the door running over some dead bodies... and there were some survivors outside... but i looked and the giant robots were everywhere! Cops were firing at them, some mexicans were throwing bottles at them... but it was no use... i jumped into a dumpster and hid out...

for about a 1/2 hour i layed in there until i heard heavy artilary... the us army was here in tanks. I jumped out and ran over to a tank and a soldier looked and said "your a good man, son" and threw me a rocket launcher... he said "you know what to do"... i started blasting rockets at the robot hitting them in the power-accelerators embedded under their chest plates... around 11 pm the last of the robots were destroyed. the town was in ruins, bodies everywhere... it stunk like month od hamburgers and diarrhea... The general gave me a medal and told me to get osme sleep cuz i'd have to go to work tomorrow. I slapped him a high five and drove home.

what a night.